You Pull Me Close
Category: Darvey/Romance
Summary: A week into their new relationship, Harvey feels like Donna deserves to know why Thomas backed out of their deal.
AN: This fic was inspired by Harvey's thoughtful look in 9x02, right after Louis asks Donna about technique, and she walks into Harvey's office to tell him about it. Initially I had it as an episode tag (so it's quite short), but that was the first night they didn't spend together, so I've set it a couple of days later. I figure it's Suits and timelines don't exist haha.
I swear to God, when I come home
I'm gonna hold you so close
I swear to God, when I come home
I'll never let go
Like a river, I flow
To the ocean, I know
You pull me close, guiding me home
❤️
Donna glances over the top of her book, missing Harvey's gaze by a mere second as he reaches for his wine, shifting his attention back to the phone in his hand.
The week has thrown them several curveballs. From revealing their relationship, learning about their new overseer Faye Richardson to facing Thomas and then having Louis being stripped of managing partner, they'd both arrived home tonight exhausted. They discussed everything at length over dinner, before deciding to put it all out of their minds and wind down for the night.
They'd retreated to the couch, where she's been reading while Harvey is no doubt checking emails because they might be relaxing but he never completely switches off the lawyer side of his brain. It's what makes him NYC's best closer, but the silence is a comfortable one. It's the first evening they've sat and enjoyed each other's company, the urge to be making love a low hum in comparison to the electric charge that's been testing their stamina. Her muscles are still aching and when Harvey glances up again, she smirks, calling out his soft expression. "Okay, spill."
He shrugs, feigning confusion, and she nudges his thigh with her foot. "Don't think I haven't noticed you staring since we got home." For once he hasn't been ogling either. His gaze has merely been resting on her, disappearing the moment she senses him, and she tilts her head curiously.
An involuntary smile tugs his mouth, and he sets his glass and phone down on the table, sitting back and pulling her feet into his lap. "I'm allowed to stare now, remember?"
Her cheeks warm under his attention, and she abandons her book, sinking down as his thumb presses a gentle circle into the arch of her foot. His hands are like magic- working out the tension her high heels have caused, and she doesn't care if he's trying to distract her, letting a soft moan slip through her lips.
"Good?"
"Mmmhmm." She murmurs her appreciation, exhaustion sneaking in with his slow ministrations, and she lets her eyes flutter closed, but they don't stay shut for long. He's not the only one who's allowed to be caught out staring now, and she glances up, blinking at the slight flicker of hesitation in his expression. It prompts the tail end of the happier look he's been wearing, but the unguarded moment unsettles her. She hates to think it's something she's been missing all evening, and not wanting her focus split, she stretches her legs out of his grasp and sits up.
He turns to face her, and she leans her elbow into the leather, resting her head against her palm. "Everything okay?"
Her tone is soft, letting him decide for himself how to answer, but he doesn't shy away from spilling the truth. If there's one thing he's learned this week, it's that he's spent far too long taking her presence in his life for granted, and he's not about to fall back into old habits by hiding his fears. They're closer to the surface now but more accessible, and he clasps his knuckles, clicking them with a sigh. "I was almost Thomas."
She frowns, confused by the statement. Usually, she can read his doubts before they land, but whatever he's trying to express is a mystery to her, and she shares her own vulnerability, silently conveying through her eyes that she's lost.
He can see she needs more to go on, and his lips wind around a small smile. They've always been able to communicate the basics without uttering a single word, and he sinks closer, letting his palm fall across her knee. "You know why Thomas couldn't stay on as a client."
She lifts an eyebrow, creating an unsure dimple between her brow, and he's left in awe of her puzzlement. Thomas had gone back on his word, something completely out of character for the CEO, but the man hadn't needed to justify anything over the phone. Harvey had heard it in his voice; being around Donna but not being with her was too hard, and even with the potentially damning consequences looming over them, Harvey had understood and let him off the hook. After all, it hadn't been that long ago their roles were reversed, and he'd been the one standing on the outside, his heart hanging like a heavy chain around his neck. If he hadn't almost lost everything, he would never have let himself see what really mattered, and it might seem like something inevitable now, but she could have just as easily turned him away that night. Told him he'd waited too long and she was taking a chance with someone new. Thomas is a good person, a deserving man, and the fact Donna is sitting in front of him, clueless, just shows how goddamn lucky he is to be in her life as more than just a colleague or friend.
"It wasn't a business decision," Harvey admits, skimming his thumb over the cotton beneath his touch. "He left to protect himself."
It's a truth she hasn't wanted to face, and it resonates beneath a wave of guilt. She never meant to hurt Thomas. Like she'd told Faye, she thought the relationship might lead to more, a future between them, but as soon as he'd confronted her about Harvey, she'd felt the familiar sensation of being slowly dragged under by quicksand. Harvey had been on the brink of losing everything because she'd chosen Thomas and the weight her decision had spelled the end for them, but it had also sparked the beginning of what she knew deep down in her bones was right.
Glancing at Harvey's hand, she knows this is where she always wanted to find herself, with him, exploring the more they'd been subconsciously denying themselves. And she doesn't just know, she feels it. Like unlocking a door and walking into a place that her heart calls home. He was right when he said this is where they're meant to be, she just wishes people like Thomas, even Robert and Samantha, hadn't been caught in the crossfire.
She keeps her head down, and he winces, stuck between what he meant and the way it sounded, but none of this was her fault. He was trying to convey that she's incredible, the kind person who anyone would have a hard time letting go, and he lifts his arm, tilting her chin with his fingers. He's never been great at saying the right thing but he doesn't need to be a great poet or wax lyrical to make a point. She gets him, and the notion propels his confidence. "I let you go once and spent twelve years trying to bury the way I felt about it, but when Thomas asked me outright, I told him... you're the most important person in my life, and he understood that."
She blinks at him, her chest swelling at the fact he would say something so candid in front of an almost complete stranger. "You didn't tell him that."
"I did." He smiles softly, moving his fingers to push the hair back from her face. "Because he asked me to be honest, and if things had turned out differently. If you'd chosen him, the only way I would have been able to accept it, was by knowing you were with someone who deserved you."
She sees it now, the doubt he's been warding off; that he's not good enough or isn't worthy, but he was never almost Thomas, and she hasn't ever lost faith in him. She chose to put herself first, try and find something that existed outside the four walls of her career, and she cups his hand, leaning her cheek against his palm. "He asked me too, the morning before the trial. He said you went round there, ready to fall on your sword for me, and I couldn't stand to watch you lose everything, knowing it was my fault."
Heat crawls beneath the collar of his sweater, but he doesn't withdraw his arm. He'd never intended for her to find out about his conversation with Thomas. His only thought had been to protect her, not create problems, and he stumbles. "Donna, I never meant-"
"I know." She smiles, not looking for an apology. "You were putting me first. Like you did during the Liberty Rail case, when we found out about Stephen, after you promoted me, and a thousand other times. That's why I knew I couldn't be with Thomas. Because even though I cared about him, he wasn't you."
He breathes in slowly, the reassurance nestling in the small crevice of his heart that was carved away the moment they met, the night she took a piece of him and has been keeping it safe ever since. They've had so many firsts over the years, not necessarily in the right order, but he's done holding back, and he skims his thumb over her cheek, uttering the same words that had nearly broken them once, in an entirely new context. "You know I love you."
She does, no question about how in her mind, but her mouth splits into a teasing grin. "Can I get that in writing this time?"
Amusement bubbles in her throat, the sound cut off by his lips winding into a smile against hers, and she leans back as his body covers hers, feeling safe and blissfully happy under his weight. She doesn't know what the future has in store for them, or how it's all going to play out, but he was right.
This is where they're supposed to be.
On a journey together, and ready to face whatever comes next.