Remus wasn't a hundred percent sure whether he was friends with the three stooges or if it was a developing friendship, but whatever it was he liked it. They went to breakfast together on Monday, walked together to Charms class, and was part of their note sending while Flitwick gave a lecture about the levitation spell they'd be learning within a week or so. One of the notes was a drawing they were all working on. James had drawn something really spiky and weird looking, Sirius had written 'what even is this' to which James replied 'a broom dummy', so Sirius drew a rather well drawn person sitting on the broom. Peter drew a giant wizard hat on the person, a crescent moon, and a bunch of stars. Clearly they wanted him to add something but he didn't know what, so he just did his best drawing some land and a lake at the bottom of the page. He hoped that would work. He carefully sent the drawing back to Sirius who added something then started sending it to James.
"Wingardium leviosa!" The paper flew up out of Sirius's outstretched hand. "Misters Black, Potter, Pettigrew, and Lupin, don't think I didn't see what you were doing." Remus turned pink and ducked low while Flitwick summoned the paper over to study what had captured their interest. "Very good, though actual notes on what I'm saying would be better. Can any of you four tell me who discovered the levitation spell?"
The other three tried to look like they weren't even in class but Remus raised his hand. "Jarleth Hobart, P-Professor, in the sixteenth century."
"Can you tell me what was so interesting about the first public use?"
Remus pressed his lips thin. "He stripped himself n-naked?" That sent the entire class into giggles. James folded his arms on his desk, burying his head to stifle his very loud laughter.
Flitwick waved his hand to quiet everyone. "That isn't quite what I was thinking-"
"Wait, why did he get naked?" James demanded, interrupting the teacher.
Remus was the one who spoke up, not even thinking whether he should respond or not. "He thought he could make himself fly, but-but the spell was just on his clothes. He took his clothes off in mid-air and fell to the ground and broke a bunch of bones-"
"Whoa, you're telling me this dude levitated himself by levitating his clothes then just decided hey Imma streak instead?" Sirius asked which caused more laughter.
"He came to the wrong conclusion," Remus answered with a shrug.
"Yes, though-" Flitwick tried.
"So he stripped down in the air in front of everyone watching?" asked McNab, her eyes huge, her cheeks pink.
"Were there girls there?" Sirius asked which caused all the girls to begin giggling even more, several of them going red. Lily buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking.
"We're talking about the levitation spell!" Flitwick said loudly, rapping his book on his desk for attention.
"Yes but this is more interesting!" James proclaimed. "So some wizard got down to his birthday suit in front of a bunch of people and this isn't in the curriculum about the spell? Come on, Professor!"
Flitwick glanced at Remus who felt awful for ever bringing this up though he had assumed that's what he meant about the interesting thing, since, well, it was interesting. Then he sighed heavily, giving up. "Yes. Mr. Lupin was correct. He came to the wrong conclusion. He thought he was making himself fly though he enchanted his clothes, not himself. When he failed to move and merely hovered instead, the crowd grew... hmmm... bored, so to speak, demanding Hobart actually fly. He assumed his clothes were making himself too heavy so he took them off and fell to the ground, breaking many bones. The Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot (who was one of the witnesses) fined him for being too silly."
"Now that's what I call a fine," Sirius said.
"I'm sorry but can you imagine? You're told you're going to get to see someone fly on their own for the first time and all that happens is he hovers there for a bit then gets-gets-" Inkwood dissolved into more giggles.
"Naked!" James announced. The entire room was giggling and Peter wound up falling out of his seat.
Flitwick gave them all a rather exasperated look. "Now that we know the story can we please get back to the spell itself?"
But everyone was far too amused and still giggling so Flitwick just dismissed class early. Remus felt quite bad. He hung back so he could apologize, but Flitwick wasn't at all annoyed. "It is a silly story," he said. "Perhaps it'll be on an exam," he added with a wink.
Remus smiled and left the classroom, finding the three boys waiting for him. They were still talking about the story, wanting to swing by the library so Remus could check out a book with the whole story. They sat in one of the courtyards as James read the story multiple times until they had to finally go to Herbology, and poor Professor Sprout had to deal with thirteen very giddy Gryffindors.
()
"So, you're friends with them now?" Lily asked as the two of them walked to Defense after lunch, though the three boys were walking behind them. Not close enough to hear though.
"I... I th-think so. Sort of." He glanced over his shoulder and Sirius smiled at him. "On trial, so to speak."
"After everything Black's put you through?"
Remus just shrugged. "I... w-wanted to be friends with them be-before but was... you know... but when you-well, I r-realized I sh-shouldn't be too scared."
Lily gave a long sigh. "Well. I'm sort of glad. But out of everyone in the school, those two? It's like... going to a huge bookstore with thousands of choices and picking out a book on-on potty training." Remus probably would have spit out water if he had been drinking. He choked a bit before laughing. "It's true."
"They're not th-that bad. And as I said... on trial."
()
Remus sat down on the purple sofa, feeling a little nervous. It was time for another Occlumency lesson, and he knew Ms. Fawley would see he now had friends.
Remus coughed. "Before we be-begin, can I ask you something?"
"Of course," she said smoothly. "You can ask me anything. We really don't have any secrets between each other."
Actually, I don't have secrets from you, I know little about you. "You're n-not in c-contact with my parents, are you?"
Her eyebrows rose high on her forehead and she slowly reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "No. I've never met them, I've never written to them; they've never written me. Why?"
"J... just w-wondering..." He wrung his hands, still feeling nervous.
Ms. Fawley reached out, putting her fingertips against his temples. He tried to empty himself but like before it didn't work, and he was pulled through his memories. Like before, she only just skimmed so they were recent memories. His school bag ripping, Mr. Farrow threatening him, Remus yelling at Sirius and hexing him... Remus and Sirius sitting in the trophy room, laughing at a joke... Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter staying up a bit late on Monday night, getting a place by the fire, playing exploding snaps...
"I see, that's why you inquired about my communication with you parents," she said as he bent over double, clutching his head. "Mmm. I can't say I'm surprised... however... I must agree with your parents that friends are a risk..."
Remus just curled up in the corner of the sofa, rubbing his forehead. "Yes, I-I know," he mumbled.
"You don't care, though."
"N... not at the moment..."
Fawley gave a long sigh. "I know loneliness can be hard to deal with but you must understand there are very few people who could be trusted with this sort of secret."
"I know."
"Society despises werewolves. My sister saved my life and-"
"I know!" Remus snapped and Fawley frowned. "S-sorry. I didn't-I'm sorry. I know, people hate us. I know it's d-dangerous." But I'm only eleven... don't I deserve to experience friendship? He didn't want to say this however knew she'd just see it so he said it out loud though it didn't sound as defiant as he stammered.
Fawley drummed her fingers against the arm of the sofa. "I really can't tell you. It is unfair you're so young, however you are first and foremost a werewolf. That is how the world sees you. You... and other werewolves... the good ones, at least... deserve more than you get." She reached up to touch her scars. "We're all dealt our cards, Mr. Lupin, it's up to you to decide what to do with them."
Remus had a fleeting thought that he'd rather be blind than a werewolf.
"All I know is c-cards are more f-fun with friends," he said.
Fawley gave a laugh. "I suppose that's true. You have been lucky, with your parents accepting you, as well as Albus allowing you to attend school... just don't forget-"
"I know, I know, don't forget the world wants me dead," Remus growled. "Sirius and James and Peter probably included in that, if they ever found out, wh-which they won't I can keep it from them and if th-they ever get too suspicious I'll cut things off."
"Just like that?"
Remus swallowed. "J-just like that."
()
That night Remus stayed up until the other boys went to sleep, then went down into the common room to sit on a windowsill and stare up at the sky. It was a clear night, very dark as the moon was new and not visible. He knew exactly where it was though, that curse pulling at him. This was his favorite time to look at the sky, when he couldn't see it. He could see all the stars though, twinkling in the darkness.
He hugged his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top, mind whirling like a tornado. Mostly from Fawley earlier, with all she said, her disapproval of him making friends-and knowing his parents would be the same. He remembered once going into town with his mother... he saw a bunch of kids playing in the park, how he wanted to go over and play too. She had jerked his arm a little, pulling him closer, telling him No. Never. When they got home she knelt down, putting her hands on his shoulders, telling him he had to keep away from everyone, that the only people he could ever trust was his parents. He then thought of being on the Platform, when she made him recite the rules. And above all, no friends.
He sighed a little bit, rubbing his cheek along the old, faded fabric of his pajamas covering his knees. The Sorting Hat referred to my curse being something I was dealt with, and Fawley did too. Is that really what happened? Did someone look down on this earth, point at my four year old self and go, that's him, that's the one that's gonna turn into a vicious slobbering monster, and then threw the cards onto the table to arrange everything? Remus looked up at the sky, a tear rolling down his cheek at the thought. Is that how it works? Was it fate?
Sirius had mentioned how it was something like that drawing him to James and Remus...
Is this supposed to go a certain way? Is that what life is? No matter what I do, is the outcome already determined? He straightened up, letting his legs drop down over the edge of the sill, one hand pressing against the glass pane, eyes focused on the sky above. Well. If that's the case, it doesn't matter that I've made friends, now, does it?
()
Remus had to adjust to his new sort of life, with other kids around. On Wednesday he started freaking out when sitting there with James, Sirius, and Peter, their babbling voices overwhelming him like a wave trying to pull him under. He had a moment of absolute terror realizing they were just happily sitting there with a monster. They didn't know, and it got to him. The fear, the guilt... He took off running to go hide out in Myrtle's bathroom until he calmed down. When he finally returned he simply said he had gone to the hospital wing as he had suddenly felt very sick
That evening while trying to take a nap before Astronomy, he had a nightmare. The three of them found out the truth, crowding around him, pointing at him, calling him a werewolf. Calling him a monster. Saying they were going to go to the Ministry. Then James pulled out his silver potions knife, said 'let's see if it pops' and slashed, the blade glinting in the air as it-
Remus woke up, shaking and sobbing. He wasn't used to werewolf nightmares where he wasn't in wolf form, or turned into a wolf. Someone someone tapped at his bedpost (he thought probably Sirius, faintly smelling him) he mumbled he was all right, not wanting to see anyone, not wanting anyone to see him. He heard Spinnet say 'least it wasn't the middle of the night', then Sirius told Spinnet to shut up. Don't fight, he thought desperately, relieved when nobody else spoke up.
He curled up on his side, covering his head with his pillow, trying to get the image of James and the silver knife out of his head. James was currently laughing at something with Sirius, his laughter penetrated through the pillow, into Remus's head. That knife slashing at the Drooble's bubble. Slashing at Remus...
Just a nightmare, not real, won't happen, he told himself, clutching the pillow tighter and tighter until it began hurting his head and the throbbing pain gave him something else to focus on.
()
Thursday was spent needing some time alone. He had multiple nightmares after he went to sleep after Astronomy though nothing that woke him up, or sent him into screams (aka waking up the other boys) but they were still nasty dreams nonetheless, and it was too much for him to be around anyone in his free time. He managed to escape from his new friends, tucking himself into a room one of the ghosts had showed him, promising hardly anyone else knew about it. It was a tiny room on the sixth floor whose entrance was behind a stone bench and only moved with a password which the young ghost told him. Remus curled up in the stone room, cheek pressed against the floor as he tried desperately to empty himself.
If I can empty myself of thoughts and emotions... that would be good even for things other than Occlumency... I don't want to think about things, I don't want to deal with everything inside my head...
Remus woke up with a jerk, feeling lost and confused for a good two minutes until he remembered where he was, realizing he had fallen asleep. He stumbled out of the room, rubbing his eyes, trying to get a sense of anything. It was nearly six pm. Almost time for study group... Despite the fact he hadn't eaten dinner, Remus opted for the library instead, figuring he had something in his dorm he could snack on later. After study group he headed back to the tower with Lily and Twycross. Lily wanted to play chess but Remus shook his head, going up to his dorm.
"Heya, Remus! Welcome back!" Peter said as soon as Remus went in. He and James were on James's bed while Sirius was stretched out on his own.
Remus smiled, feeling a little bubbly that he was being greeted like this. Peter always cheerfully greeted James and Sirius when they came in, and now he was doing the same for Remus. "Th-thanks..." From inside his desk he pulled out a package of crisps and a cauldron cake to satisfy his growling stomach.
"How was study group?" Sirius asked as he flipped through a magazine.
"Er, f-fine. We g-got a lot done." Remus hesitated, not wanting to sound nagging but unable to ignore his curiosity. "That big Herbology essay due t-tomorrow, you... lot... got it d-done right?"
"Yep!" Peter said. "It's probably no good but I did it."
"I've got... an inch or two..." James mumbled.
"Eh, we've got a couple hours to finish it before bed," Sirius answered with a big yawn.
Peter slipped off of James's bed, giving Remus a rather twitchy look. "Hey... errr... I was wondering if... could you... maybe... you know... kinda help... me?"
"Oh, er, yeah, sure I can d-do that." Peter scrambled around to get his essay. Remus climbed onto his bed, tuckking his feet underneath, reading the terrible essay as he ate. He underlined all the misspelled words, circled sections that were completely wrong, and put brackets around an entire paragraph that was just absolute rambling. When he copied down the okay parts of the essay it was only a couple inches long. He motioned for Peter to come over and pointed out everything, then dug out his dictionary to help.
"If I don't know how to spell the word, how'm I supposed to look it up?" Peter grumbled, flipping through the book.
James dove to his desk and got out a fancy looking dictionary, tossing it over. "Here, you can use mine! It's magicked so just touch it and say the word, and it will open up to it."
Remus eyed the book a bit jealously, remembering seeing it in the bookstore but they hadn't had enough money to purchase the special tome. "Don't forget to be careful of-of homophones."
"Is that like a telephone?" Peter asked.
"What the heck's a tella-phone?" James asked, face screwed up, but nobody answered him.
"No, it's like-err-words that sound the same but have different meanings and... different spellings. Like... right as in co-correct, and write as in putting words-down on paper. Or bee as in bumblebee or be as in, in, uh, in to be or not to be."
"Oh." Peter just looked more confused, but nodded as if he understood.
"That explains the problem with my Transfiguration essay the other day," James said, scratching his head. Remus tried not to laugh.
After spending ten or so minutes helping Peter get the essay restarted, Remus excused himself, figuring he might as well get a shower. The second the door shut behind him, voices piped up and he couldn't help but listen in.
Sirius was the one to speak up first. "This is better, innit?"
"What is?" James asked.
"The past few days. Remus being our mate."
"I think so," Peter said as his quill scritched against the paper.
"You're gonna say I-told-you-so, aren't you?" James chuckled.
"Yup, but I am right," Black said.
"Yeah, just don't be smug about it."
"Can't help it, I'm too good-looking not to be smug. Oww!"
Remus smiled to himself and went to get his shower.