A/N: I apologize if you find the story boring or slow-paced. I like writing and exploring these characters in a more domestic and laid-back situations, you know, since we didn't get to see those in the movies. Also, that's pretty much how I write stories in general, slow-burn, then I try to make them as emotionally grounded as possible. Anyway, thanks for reading!
Eventually, Clint calmed down and Steve was finally able to explain the present situation. Clint seemed to understand everything since Steve just gave him the basics. He left out Strange's ramblings about consciousness, transcendence, and stuff. Clint also agreed to his decision to keep the news to themselves first. Steve knew Pepper, Wanda, Laura, the kids, Rhodey, Thor, Danvers, and even Rocket would be ecstatic but they would have to wait until Natasha was halfway to full recovery.
That evening, T'Challa ordered his staff to prepare dinner for them at the palace hall but Clint declined, refusing to leave Natasha. Steve did not try to convince him further because he felt the same. So Steve apologized to T'Challa.
"No need for apologies, Steve. I understand perfectly. I'll just have the staff bring your dinner here," T'Challa said. "But I'm afraid, I won't be able to join you. I am expected at the Jabari Tribe tonight."
Steve nodded in understanding and shook the king's hand. Minutes later, their dinner was brought in and spread in a buffet table by the staff. Then Steve, Clint, Bucky, Sam, and Bruce sat in a circle just outside of Natasha's ICU to eat. It reminded Steve of those nights when he, Natasha, and Sam huddled around a bonfire in the middle of a forest somewhere in Northern Europe, hiding from Ross.
"By the way," Steve addressed Clint, "I wish you could have at least warned me."
Clint furrowed his eyebrows.
"You could have said I would run into Schmidt there."
Bucky chocked and spewed his beer. "What?! That bastard's still alive?"
"Look who's talking," Sam joked and Bucky laughed.
"Not technically. Well, the stone has made him immortal but he's eternally damned in that place, so…" Steve explained.
"Everything comes with a price," Clint said. "Sorry, Cap. I just didn't think it mattered anymore, you know."
"Yeah," Steve said with a reassuring smile.
"But," Bruce started but stopped at the same time. The hesitation made Steve and the others look at him anxiously.
Steve immediately realized what Bruce was up to - Bruce was going to pop THE question. The same question that has been nagging him too these past months. But he decided to let it go in consideration of Clint's emotional health. He thought, asking it would not change anything anyway so he let it go. Now he looked at Bruce, deciding whether or not to stop him. But Bruce did not give him time to decide.
"What exactly happened there, man?" Bruce finally asked.
Steve saw Clint tensed up. His jaw clenched and he took a big, deep breath in before putting his plate on the floor. He did not answer immediately, of course, Steve understood that. He wanted to tell him that he did not need to answer the question if he was not up to it. But Steve decided to hold his tongue and let Clint decide for himself. He patiently watched as Clint took a big swig of his beer, another big breath in, took a long look at Natasha, and then cleared his throat before starting the story.
It was a rather short story, to Steve's surprise, but still, Clint fumbled with his words, his voice croaked several times to kept himself from crying, and by the time he reached the part where Natasha wriggled herself out of his grip, Clint was a crying mess again. Sam jumped into action and handed him table napkins to clean himself up.
They were silent right after that. The story had a different impact on Steve, not just because of how he felt for Natasha, but because he had been to Vormir, stood right where it happened, so it was jarring for him to imagine everything Clint just told them.
Steve felt Bucky's hand on his shoulder. He looked at his friend and found Bucky's sad smile for him, as if apologizing for the grief Steve had to go through when he had to watch him fall from the train. Steve smiled back and nodded.
"There was no other way," Sam attempted to lighten Clint's guilt.
"Yes there was, I was an option," Clint simply said and cried again.
"Whatever it takes," Bruce almost whispered and looked at Natasha.
Steve looked at her too and felt his guilt rise, wishing he had never said those words. To his defense, no one knew what was waiting for them in Vormir. Had he known, he would have devised a different strategy for the soul stone.
"Rhodey said she never stopped," Bruce continued. "She never stopped figuring out how to bring everybody back."
"Yeah, she looked for answers for five years," Steve said.
"No wonder she when she finally found one, she went all in," Sam said softly.
"Wait, five years, she looked for answers," Bucky asked, "she? not we?"
Steve, Clint, and Bruce exchanged quick looks. Steve crossed his arms and lowered his eyes on the floor. Clint, too, stared at his shoes.
"We kind of - left," Bruce said, embarrassed.
Sam and Bucky looked at each other and back to Bruce.
"We might have killed Thanos, you know the first time, but we were still beaten. The goal was to bring everybody back and we failed, big time. After that we, ahm, went our separate ways."
Steve saw Sam uncomfortably shift in his seat. Sam sat up straight, leaned back against his seat, and he looked like he wanted to ask something but not quite sure where to begin or how to say it.
Steve looked at Bruce and found the big guy looking at him too, unsure. Steve nodded and Bruce continued.
"I went to find answers for my own problems, I mean for Hulk and me. Tony and Pepper got married and moved upstate to start a family. Thor took his people, at least what remains of Asgard, in search of another home."
"What do you mean, another home?" Bucky asked.
"Thor found out her evil sister was alive and the only way to stop her was to destroy Asgard. Then in the middle of their exodus to Earth, Thanos ambushed them, killed his best friend, and his brother. He also lost his hammer and his eye. Plus the fact that all of this happened one day before Thanos and his army came crashing into Wakanda."
"Wow," Bucky whispered to himself.
"Then, Clint here, went on a rampage and became a jetsetter vigilante. Did not even bother to leave his best friend a voicemail."
"You're one to talk," Clint pointedly said to Bruce.
"At least Steve stayed," Bruce immediately said to take the heat off him.
"Not really, no," Steve said, his eyes still on the floor.
"What?" Sam asked calmly but the disbelief in his tone was very evident.
Steve took in a big breath and looked at Sam.
"Bruce left to deal with the Hulk, Tony left for Pepper, Thor left for his people, Clint left to spare everyone from his destructive anger, what's your reason?" Sam asked in a controlled tone.
"I stayed for a year, with her at the compound," Steve started to explain. "She went back to work - restored her web, coordinated with Rhodey and the UN in reinstating some order, worked with Okoye and helped other countries cope, coordinated Danvers and Rocket in matters of cosmic threats - and I just, I lost hope, Sam. I woke up one day didn't see the point anymore."
Sam shook his head in disbelief.
"I left the compound, move back to city and took a page out of your book. I started a support group -,"
Steve stopped when Sam abruptly stood up, his chair loudly scraped the floor. They all turned to him but Sam did not speak for a while. He just stood there, staring at Natasha across them. Then he crossed his arms and took in a deep breath first to calm himself.
"Let me get this straight," Sam finally said, his hands moved to his hips. "You sat around strangers while your friend, your best friend since waking from the ice, was holed up in that huge empty building by herself? You listened to strangers and their stories while she woke up shaking from a nightmare with no one there for her?"
Steve did not answer, he knew Sam's question were all rhetorical. Sam stared to pace back and forth. He was angry all right, but most importantly, he was disappointed and that was worst.
"This probably never crossed your minds," Sam addressed all of them this time, his voice hard and almost scolding, "but Natasha suffers from PTSD, too. I'm going out of a limb here and say that she's been through more shit and horror than all of us here combined. Maybe Barnes comes in second. I don't know. I tried getting through her, you know, but I stopped because I saw she was coping, gracefully. You know how? The Avengers, Steve. The work I saw you two do gave her purpose, it centered her. Then you saw it pointless? And left her? Jesus. I thought you lov -,"
Sam did not finish his last sentence. Steve looked up at him, wondering if Sam did almost just say the 'l' word. He then looked at Bruce and saw hurt and sadness in his eyes. He sure did catch on what Sam meant.
Sam sighed exasperatedly and walked out on them. He went straight to the elevator.
No one moved or spoke for a few more seconds. Then Bruce stood up and walked to the elevator too, "I'll be in my room, if you need me."
"I'm going to check in with Laura," Clint simply said and followed Bruce.
When they were gone, Bucky stood up and for a second Steve was afraid he was going to leave too. But his fear disappeared when Bucky simply went from chair to chair to clear the plates. When he returned, he had six beers for them. Bucky moved his chair closer to Natasha's enclosure and opened their beers. Steve followed.
"Understand Sam," Bucky said, handing him his beer.
"I am angry with my self too, Buck."
Bucky smiled and sipped his beer then, "You know what this reminds me of?" Bucky pointed at Natasha.
Steve raised his eyebrows.
"You. Sick all the time, had all those allergies, had colds and fever throughout winter," Bucky said with a laugh. Steve playfully punched him on the arm.
"She's gonna to be okay, Steve. You're gonna be okay," Bucky promised.
Steve smiled and said, "We all are."
The next morning, Steve woke up to sounds of clinking plates and cutlery. He peeled his eyes open and saw the palace staff lining up breakfast food on the table. The remnants of their dinner last night were gone. The staff must have cleaned it up late last night.
Two hours after Sam, Bruce, and Clint left, Bucky said goodnight too. Steve still refused to leave Natasha's side. So while there was a perfect and comfortable bed waiting for him somewhere in the palace, he chose to squeeze himself in the couch in the waiting corner of the infirmary.
Steve stood up, stretched, and notice that the sun was already up. It was still early but he was sure the rest of Wakanda was already on its feet. Not minding the staff, he walked over to the ICU and looked at Natasha from behind the glass.
"Good morning," Steve whispered to her.
He sat down on the chair he and Bucky sat on last night and rubbed his eyes. He was still sleepy judging by the huge yawn he just let out. Normally, he would be out jogging at this hour but he was not up for it.
The smell of food and coffee were all tempting but he ignored them for a while. He wrapped his brain around what happened last night. It was painful, yes, being reminded of how he failed the team, himself, and Natasha. But somehow, he was glad Bruce brought it up. Now, they could focus on making it up to her.
He was brought out of his reverie by a cup of steaming coffee popping in front of him. He looked up and saw Sam, coffee cups in both hands. Steve took the cup as Sam sat down on the chair next to him. Neither spoke for a while. Instead, they enjoyed the first few sips of their coffee as they looked at Natasha adoringly.
"So, when are you going to tell her?" Sam asked with a smile.
Steve let out a silent sigh of relief. He did not expect Sam to apologize after his outburst last night, he had nothing to apologize for. Everything he said last night was true and Steve deserved every bit of his disappointment.
"I already did," Steve said proudly.
Sam's eyes widened in excitement and his jaw dropped in surprise. "What did she say?"
Steve grinned and said smugly, "Nothing. But she kissed me back."
Sam looked up and closed his eyes, his lips curled in satisfaction. He looked like he just thanked the heavens for a miracle. Steve laughed.
"I'm guessing you knew before I did, huh," Steve said.
"Yeah, man," Sam said with chuckle. "To be honest, I don't understand what took you so long."
"Well, you know what happened," Steve said, "Ultron, Peggy, Bucky, Ross -,"
"Sharon, Bruce," Sam teased. "If anyone asked me, I did not understand that, for both of you."
Steve just chuckled and sipped his coffee.
"We were so baffled so we just thought, maybe both of you had to go through that phase so you would realize that you're perfect for no one else but each other," Sam said.
Steve looked at Natasha and smiled. If you asked him ten years ago if he expected to create and share meaningful life experiences with a former Russian spy, he probably would have said 'no, at least not outside of work.' But here he was, wanting nothing else than the chance of creating and sharing a life with her.
Then Steve realized something. He turned to Sam and asked, "We? You said, 'we thought'."
"Yeah, Wanda and I owe Laura twenty bucks," Sam said and laughed. "We put a bet on who'd make the first move."
"Laura bet on me?"
"Yeah. She bet on the fact that no one can read you like Nat can. She didn't elaborate, just said unlike with Banner, Nat seemed to always knew what she was doing when it comes to you."
Steve did not know what to say. He could not believe he was that dense that everyone seemed to see first what was in his heart before he did. Natasha probably realized it too way even before before he did.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, man," Sam said and clapped him on the shoulder. "To be fair, you had a lot to deal with. So, what's next?"
"I'm not yet sure. I'm never going to make a life decision again without her, Sam."
Sam smiled at him approvingly and said, "Good choice."
Then the elevator opens.
"Morning," Bucky greeted, his still scruffy voice echoed throughout the room.
Steve turned to greet his friend and saw Clint was with him. Bucky went straight to the food, where Sam greeted him with an old man joke, while Clint walked straight to him.
"I'm sorry for last night," Clint said.
Steve did not let him talk further and just hugged him.
"No, I am sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that," Steve said. "I know a thing or two about watching your best friend plummet to his death."
"Me too," Sam said in the distance.
Steve offered his hand and Clint did not hesitate to shake it. Both of them finally felt calm, probably for the first time since they arrived in Wakanda. Minutes later they were crowding over the food. Steve did not know half of the food there, but Bucky smugly explained each dish to them.
Then the elevator door opened again and Shuri arrived. She greeted them and went straight to the decontamination room then to Natasha.
The boys walked near the enclosure and watched as Shuri and her team checked on their patient. The glass was sound proof and Steve still had a lot to learn about lip reading, so he just waited patiently until Shuri emerged from the ICU to give them updates.
"Her fever is low now and her immune system is steadily recovering. Maybe three more days then let's wake her up," Shuri said. "But her waking up wouldn't mean our job is done. She has only responded to pathogens we clinically introduced to her, her body still needs to re-acquaint itself outside, continue to strengthen her antibodies the natural way."
"I understand," Steve said.
"That means she will be staying here in Wakanda for a while," Shuri said.
"Perfect!" Bucky exclaimed and everyone turned to him.
"This place is amazing, Steve. I'm sure Nat - tasha wouldn't mind," Bucky explained. "Besides, I'm sure T'Challa and Okoye wouldn't let her leave anyway until she's fully recovered so, yeah!"
Steve laughed at his friend. He had never seen Bucky that excited lately. So he guessed it was not such a bad idea to set base in Wakanda for a while.
"She wouldn't mind you calling her Nat, too, like everybody else," Steve assured him and Bucky smiled wider.
Shuri excused herself as the medical team went to their usual work. When Shuri was gone, Clint turned to Steve.
"I have another thing to tell you," Clint said, nervously. Steve waited for him to continue.
"Last night, emotions ran high, I was wrecked, I needed to hear Laura's voice so I called her - and kind of told her everything."
Sam and Bucky's jaws dropped in shock and almost wanted to berate Clint for breaking Steve's request. But Steve remained calm, to his surprise.
"It's okay, Clint," Steve said with a smile. "I assume she want to come right away?"
Clint nodded and said, "I'll explain that they'd have to wait for a few more days and I'd do a better job with that face to face. So I'm planning to go home today, if that's okay."
"Yeah, of course. You heard what the princess said, still nothing much we can do right now. So, go," Steve said.
They said their goodbyes and Clint started to leave.
"Oh, wait," Sam ran after him, fishing a twenty dollar bill from his wallet. "Give this to Laura. She'd understand."
Clint looked at the bill with a huge question mark on his face. Sam's playful grin did not help ease his confusion either. But he took the money anyway and continued to the elevator.
"What was that about?" Bucky asked Sam. But Sam refused to answer, he only taunted Bucky with a knowing smile. Bucky turned to Steve for an explanation but Steve raised his arms and backed away from them. He sat back on his chair and watched in amusement as Bucky incessantly badgered Sam to spill.
Nothing exciting happened the whole day and Steve did not mind. That afternoon, Bucky convinced him to step out of the infirmary for a while for fresh air. Bucky toured him and Sam around one of the palace gardens. When they came back to the infirmary, Bruce was there and Steve realized it was the first time he saw him since last night.
Bruce walked up to him and said, "I'm here to say goodbye."
Steve looked at him in confusion but before he could say anything, at least comfort him that he had every right to be there just like everybody else, Bruce explained himself.
"I know - how you feel towards her, Steve," Bruce said and looked at Sam's direction. Steve panicked internally realizing Bruce heard their conversation that morning.
"I'm happy for you, really, and her, of course. And believe me, I harbor no ill feelings whatsover. If there's anything it's gratitude. Thank you for being exactly what she deserved. She had to wait for you but at least, she'd still be getting that happy ending. Me leaving the first time probably was the best thing that could happen."
"Bruce, don't say that," Steve said.
"But it's true. I almost distracted her from her real path. If I stayed back then, she wouldn't have found her redemption and happiness. Believe me, Steve, Nat and I are fine, water under the bridge. But I hope you don't mind if we remain friends."
"Of course not, Bruce, why would I," Steve said and they shook each others' hands.
"Give me a call when she's finally up and about, will you?" Bruce asked. "I'd like to come back and visit you guys."
"Of course," Steve said and patted him on the arm. Bruce looked at Natasha one last time and headed for the elevator. When he was gone, Sam let out a huge sigh of relief.
"What,awkward?" Steve asked, worried.
"No," Sam asked. "I kind of expected it to be but it actually went well. I just had no idea I was holding my breath the entire time."
Steve and Bucky laughed at him.
Two uneventful days passed. Through Steve's help, Clint successfully pacified Laura and convinced her to wait a few more days. Wanda knew of the news, too through Laura but unlike Laura, she easily accepted Steve's request to stay put for a while. When the time's right, he would send for them right away.
Since they would be staying in Wakanda in the foreseeable future, T'Challa started making arrangements for them. Steve did not know what else T'Challa should be arranging because the room they provided Steve seemed enough. But T'Challa was not having it. He ordered that one of his favorite cabins be fixed and furnished for them. It was just outside of the palace grounds but still near enough for the king's guard to roam for security.
It was a two-storey cabin made from precious Wakadan wood, with a beautiful front porch, manicured front lawn and spacious backyard. The interiors were homey too. T'Challa had the room fitted with air conditioning units to compensate for the Wakandan climate. The kitchen was so beautiful that Steve wished he could cook.
The house stood by a mountainside and Steve could see the city below from the front porch. Trees were everywhere and Steve thought it was just perfect. Natasha would surely love it too.
"It has five bedrooms, plenty of room for you and your friends. I have a suspicion that Bucky would leave his old hut and join you," T'Challa said with a laugh.
"I'm sure he will," Steve said with a smile. "Thank you for everything."
"Wakanda owes Natasha a lot. It's the least we can do for her. If she needs anything else, just let me know."
"Actually, there's something I have been meaning to ask you," Steve asked a bit hesitant. "It's a favor - for me."
"Anything, Captain."
"I need you to make something for me," Steve said.
A/N: Whew! I can't believe I managed to write three chapters already despite not having any concrete ideas. Haha! I'd make the succeeding chapters a bit fast-paced, I promise. Thank you!