Day one.
Yellow stayed in the barn for the rest of the day, working on and off. It didn't do much to get her mind off of the fight with Malachite, but it made her feel a little better if she was doing something useful. She kept Blue's gem close so she could keep an eye on it, though she kept telling herself she was worrying over nothing.
About an hour in, she was interrupted by Steven's cheerful "Knock knock!" and looked up to find him and Garnet there with the Lapis Lazuli half of Malachite carried securely in the larger gem's arms.
"Can we come in?" Steven asked.
"Sure," Yellow replied.
"How's Blue doing?" he asked, peering around at the gem placed to Yellow's right.
"The same."
Steven went over and said hello to Blue too, fluffing up the folded blanket Yellow had placed her on for added safety. "I hope she'll come back soon. Pearl took forever last time."
"She did?"
"It's not good to rush things," Garnet said lightly. "But she shouldn't take as long as Pearl did, unless she's making big changes."
"She might be," Yellow said, a note of exasperation in her voice as she glanced Blue's way. "Who knows? She'll probably come back with some ridiculous hairstyle or something, just to be different."
"She might," Garnet agreed, her lips quirking up minutely, and Yellow sincerely hoped that wasn't the future vision talking. "Would it be alright if we let Lapis rest in here?" she asked. "It's best to keep her and Jasper apart right now."
"That's fine." It wasn't like she owned the barn. She wasn't terribly keen on the idea of sharing the space with a gem she didn't know while Blue was in such a vulnerable position, but it looked like the Lazuli would be out for a while and it wouldn't do any harm to have her there.
"Do you want to come back to the temple?" Steven offered while Garnet got Lapis settled in the far corner of the barn. "We're ordering pizza and having a movie night—or movie day, actually."
"I don't eat."
"I know, but I thought you might like to see some of the Lonely Blade movies. There's swords! Pearl says it's horribly inaccurate, but it's still a lot of fun."
"I think I'll just stay here, thanks."
"Oh, alright." He looked rather disappointed, but covered it quickly. "Well, if you change your mind, we'll save a spot for you! And Blue."
"Don't work too hard," Garnet added. "You need to rest."
"I know."
They said their goodbyes, leaving Yellow alone with Blue's gem and the sleeping Lapis Lazuli. It occurred to her belatedly that Steven had probably been trying to cheer her up, and felt bad for turning him down so easily. She just didn't have the energy to keep up a conversation or try anything new today.
Today had already been severely overwhelming.
Yellow went back to tinkering for a while, then gave up as exhaustion began to tug at her form. She picked up Blue and left the barn, walking over to the spot where they had first landed on Earth. It felt too quiet without the familiar conversation, but it was calming all the same.
Blue would be back soon. She just had to wait.
Day two.
Yellow was terrible at waiting. She hated it. She probably would have hated it less if there weren't so many unanswered questions bouncing around in her head, but it was still annoying.
She spent the first portion of the day working—though she was quickly running out of things to do, since the ship was very nearly finished—and then just sat for a while with her eyes closed, trying to plan out what else to do with her time.
Training. She could do that.
It seemed strange to do it without Blue though.
Instead, she settled on summoning practice, since she figured she needed to catch up in that area anyway. The extra time wouldn't hurt.
Peridot came by late in the morning, interrupting the tedium that was trying to summon, and Yellow welcomed the distraction.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, watching Peridot rifle through the miscellaneous box of supplies from Homeworld. It was more like half a box at the moment, because Blue had been storing what she could in her gem and that was currently inaccessible.
"Making a destabilizing field to keep Jasper in," she answered. "Want to help?"
"I assumed Jasper was unconscious too," she said, tilting her head towards the unresponsive Lazuli.
"Not for long, knowing her."
Yellow nodded, coming over to join in and keeping Blue's gem within arm's reach. "Are you…on good terms with Jasper?"
Peridot snorted. "Hardly. Definitely not once she finds out I've changed sides."
She nodded again. "Me neither. I don't think she's going to come around, if that's what Steven's hoping for."
"Yeah, he talked the rest of us out of bubbling her."
It was a very Earthling thing to do. Or a very Steven thing.
The two of them worked in silence for a while, just speaking to coordinate the simplistic device. It only took about an hour total to finish, and then Peridot turned to Yellow decisively.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"What's fusion like?"
Yellow stopped, taken aback. "…Shouldn't you be asking Garnet? I don't know that much about it."
"No, I know that, I just—she's two different gems, and she's always fused. I assume that's a completely different experience from yours. Or mine, to some extent, if I…if I want to try."
"Fair enough."
"I've been thinking I might, lately," Peridot admitted, like she felt the need to explain her line of inquiry even though Yellow hadn't asked. "Now that I've gotten used to being a Crystal Gem and everything, it seems like as good a time as any."
Yellow nodded, narrowing her eyes. "You're not about to ask me to fuse with you, right?"
"No," she retorted indignantly. "I just wanted your perspective on the matter, since we're in a similar position as beginners!"
"Good." She paused. "That wasn't intended to be an insult; I'm just not interested in trying any more fusions right now."
"Understood." Peridot tilted her head curiously. "Why not?"
"Because I don't know what went wrong with the last one yet. And—I don't know, I'm just not." She straightened the small array of tools next to her, then clasped her hands in her lap to keep them still. "So what did you want to know?" she asked Peridot.
"Just tell me about it. What's it like? Were there any significant differences between the first and second times you fused? What level of consciousness do you retain while you're part of a fusion? Do all of your individual skills transfer to the fusion or a select few? Is there—"
"I'm not a fusion expert," Yellow interrupted tiredly. "And it's not like Green's stuck around long enough to find out some of those details." Peridot just looked at her expectantly, and she sighed. "Look, to be honest, it's really weird. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, even if I know how it works in theory."
Peridot didn't look at all reassured by this. "Weird how?"
She shrugged. "As gems made for Yellow Diamond—even as a Pearl—our minds are meant to be our greatest assets. And you have to trust that to someone else. Along with the rest of you." She glanced at Blue, then back again quickly. "It's good, it's just weird."
"Huh." Peridot's eyes followed hers for a moment. "Okay. So what's it like fighting as a fusion then?"
"It's…the same as fighting as one gem for the most part; you're just stronger because you're not alone." Not as strong as she would have liked though, considering what had happened. Her thoughts flashed to Blue on the beach, barely keeping her form together.
"I could have guessed that much."
"You're the one that asked," Yellow said dismissively. "Who are you going to fuse with anyway?"
"I don't know yet!" Peridot answered, looking flustered. "I mean, Garnet's the only one who's offered, so I suppose she's the most likely candidate."
"That'll be interesting."
Peridot gave her a look like she wasn't quite sure if that was sarcasm or not. "Do you have any advice?"
Yellow thought for a moment. "Make sure you know what you're getting into, I guess," she said finally. "I mean, talk about it with Garnet or whoever first. That way you're on the same page. It…balances the fusion. I'm not sure how to describe it."
"Okay," she said, nodding. "Thanks."
"Sure."
Peridot hesitated, clearing her throat. "You know, Pearls have the longest regeneration period of any gem."
"I do know."
"Right. Well. Steven told me to tell you he'd look after Blue if you want a break."
"I don't."
"Okay." Peridot picked up the deactivated destabilizing field they'd thrown together and stood up. "I'll go take this over to the temple. Do you need me for anything today? Amethyst said she wanted to take me somewhere."
"No, go ahead."
"Great, thanks!"
Yellow bade her farewell and went back to her practice, both Blue and Lapis Lazuli kept carefully in her peripheral vision. Stars, she felt entirely uninformed about any of this. She had no idea why this Lazuli had been fused with a Jasper, even less of an idea of what events had led up to that, and—as she had told Peridot—no idea why fighting their fusion had hurt Blue so badly. That probably didn't have anything to do with Malachite though.
But it had everything to do with Green, and she did her best to ignore the empty space beside her and the questions that got caught in her throat with nowhere to go.
She really didn't understand fusion at all, she thought. Blue didn't either.
Maybe they shouldn't have—no. She cut off the train of thought abruptly, turning her attention back to her gem. There wasn't any reason to start deciding things like that without any evidence.
Just wait.
Day three.
Pearl appeared right at the crack of dawn and announced that they should get back to training, practically dragging Yellow over to the warp pad to get to the arena.
"You have to keep practicing, or you'll lose your progress," she declared, briefly inspecting a few swords before picking out which ones she wanted to use.
Yellow couldn't argue with that so she left Blue up near the top of the steps, as far out of the way as possible, and drew her own swords.
One-on-one sparring with Pearl was always a challenge, and she appreciated the distraction, but they made it nearly until noon before Yellow had to pointedly remind Pearl that it was Steven's lunchtime. She leaned heavily against a pillar to catch her breath while she watched her take off for the temple.
Pearl definitely deserved her reputation but, stars, she never seemed to stop sometimes. She forgot that other Pearls hadn't been fighting for thousands of years; they'd just been standing around being Pearls. Yellow's stamina might be significantly better than when she started, but she did need breaks.
She took a few minutes to recover and then stored her weapons away and went to get Blue.
As soon as she arrived at the temple—she figured she should at least say hello to Steven and the others—Amethyst whisked her off saying she wanted a donut-eating buddy and everyone else was out at the barn with Lapis.
"I don't eat," Yellow tried for the hundredth time as they approached their destination.
"I've never even seen you try eating," Amethyst argued.
"I tried it once."
"With what?"
"I don't know. A—A round breakfast thing with a sauce on it. Steven gave it to me the first week we were here."
"A round thing? What, like a pancake?"
"That sounds right."
"And you didn't like it?"
"No."
"Okay, well, now you can try a different round thing!"
"No thank you."
"Loosen up, Lemon Drop, not all food's the same." Amethyst slung an arm around her and ushered her through a glass door.
"I am not a—"
"Hey, Sadie! The usual for me and somethin' plain for my friend."
The short blonde person at the counter nodded, already reaching for the food with a smile. "Hi, Amethyst and…uh…wow, you look a lot like Pearl."
"What else would I look like?"
Amethyst laughed and waved her hand dismissively. "This is Yellow," she said. "She's Pearl's…cousin. Or something. She's new in town."
"Well, welcome to Beach City! I'm Sadie." She paused briefly to offer Yellow a handshake.
She accepted it quickly, careful to use a lighter grip than usual. "Nice to meet you."
"You too. What are you in the mood for?" she asked, gesturing to what Yellow assumed were donuts. "Just regular glazed or something?"
"…That's fine," Yellow agreed reluctantly. Whatever it was couldn't be any worse than the other options.
"Okay. Anything to drink?"
"No thank you."
"Be ready in just a sec then."
Amethyst beckoned Yellow over to her "usual table" and gave her a couple napkins. "You don't have to try it if you don't want to," she said. "I'll gladly take on the burden of eating an extra donut."
Yellow nodded gratefully, though she picked off a tiny piece of the donut when it arrived. It was only fair to test out eating more than once for a better understanding of it.
The soft substance was far too sweet for her liking and it left her fingers sticky, so she immediately placed it in the box in front of Amethyst and used a napkin to scrub off the residue.
Once Amethyst had eaten that one and at least six others, Yellow took the chance to ask her to explain the circumstances surrounding Malachite.
When she finished, Yellow found it much easier to piece together where the events fit in the timeline—she remembered when the Peridot and Jasper had left for Earth, and she had some vague memories from Green that confirmed that Blue remembered Lapis' return as well.
Amethyst made it clear that Lapis was, to some extent, an ally, even if that was only because of Steven. Yellow figured that was a good thing, considering that having a Lazuli as an enemy on a planet like this could potentially be disastrous.
Jasper, on the other hand, was definitely not a friend to the Crystal Gems. She could have guessed that much. But apparently Steven was making a concerted effort to get through to her despite her unwillingness to listen.
They finished up and said goodbye to Sadie, Amethyst parting ways with Yellow at the temple and disappearing into her room while Yellow stopped at the warp pad.
Yellow returned to the barn to find it empty, which wasn't too surprising considering what Amethyst had told her, but she wondered where everyone had disappeared to. She certainly didn't have any complaints about having some time to herself though, so she got to work making some final touches on the ship. Peridot ran in and out briefly at one point, saying something about finding something to give Lapis, but otherwise she was left alone.
It was around mid-afternoon when she actually ran into Lapis Lazuli, looking up from her work to find another gem standing in the open doorway. She instinctively placed herself between Blue and the visitor, eyeing her warily.
"Hello," Lapis greeted her, looking equally distrustful of Yellow.
"Hi."
She seemed to take this as an invitation to come in. "Peridot's not here, is she?"
"No, she left. Something about a gift."
Lapis nodded, looking relieved. She moved to sit down, continuing to stare between Yellow and the ship. "I'm Lapis Lazuli."
"I know." She realized belatedly that it had been intended as an introduction and added, "I'm Yellow."
She nodded. "Alright. I didn't know there was another Pearl here."
"We haven't been here long."
"We? Oh…you were a fusion before. Sorry, it's all kind of fuzzy."
Yellow figured it would be unwise to comment on Malachite, so she let it be.
"…What's the ship for?" Lapis asked, in some halfhearted attempt to move to another topic.
"Getting back to Homeworld."
Lapis nodded, and didn't ask why. That seemed to be the end of their conversation, and she relocated to the rafters.
Yellow felt a bit uneasy with her up there, but focused back on her work.
Lapis was less uppity and fancy than most of Blue Diamond's court and less hostile than she'd assumed based on Malachite, but she wasn't particularly approachable either. Though, to be fair, Yellow couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to fuse with a gem you hated for months, fighting every step of the way.
Given her own position, there weren't many experiences she would consider truly terrible, but that one probably made the list. Yellow figured Lapis probably needed some space, and as long as she wasn't hurting anything she didn't have a problem with her being there.
She wondered, briefly, if Blue knew her from her time in court, and added that to the list of questions to ask when she returned.
Day four.
Staying at the barn was beginning to make Yellow feel like she was becoming a part of some terrible human television program like Peridot watched, and she wanted out immediately.
The problem was that Peridot was absolutely determined to make Lapis Lazuli her friend. Lapis Lazuli did not want to be Peridot's friend and made this very clear. Peridot continued being stubborn and relentlessly "generous", and Lapis continued being irritable and tired, and it didn't mix well. Yellow was doing her best to stay far, far away from the drama. It was entertaining to watch, perhaps, but it was tiresome even just being the neutral party.
"Do you want to come over to the temple for a while?" Steven asked when he came by in the afternoon, and Yellow immediately jumped at the chance. She'd been making excuses to go in and out all day anyway.
They warped back together, and Steven made a fuss about preparing what he called a "tea party" despite the fact that Yellow didn't want to eat or drink anything.
"It's okay," he said when she pointed this out. "We can just have fun and talk and stuff."
She was fairly certain they could do that without the tea, but it was still immensely better than trying to help Peridot come up with gift ideas so she didn't question it.
And it was, in its own way, relaxing. Steven took on the role of server—"waiter", he called it—and poured her a cup of warm tea and set some little cookies on a tray and put on a funny accent as he did so.
A Pearl, being served by a Quartz. It didn't seem as strange as it should have.
Yellow ended up trying the tiniest sip of tea—because it smelled nice and not too flavorful—and decided she liked that alright, to her surprise and Steven's delight. She didn't drink very much of it, maybe half a cup, but Steven was quick to tell her that there were all kinds of tea and that he'd get some for her to try.
She said thank you and reminded him not to get too much, because even if it was good, she still wasn't too sure she wanted to partake in it on a regular basis.
Meanwhile, she discreetly moved all the cookies towards Steven because they looked like another sweet round thing she didn't want. He didn't seem at all offended and ate every last crumb.
"We should do this again when Blue gets back," he said earnestly.
Yellow nodded, her eyes drifting sideways briefly.
"Do you miss her?"
If Blue was here, she'd be teasing Yellow for one reason or another about liking this human drink and being a fancy Pearl who goes to parties with delicate china and things. And then she'd join right in.
It would feel too vulnerable to say she missed Blue, but she did.
"She would like this sort of thing," Yellow said finally, which wasn't an answer but Steven accepted it anyway and changed the subject.
After about an hour or so of talking about tea and other insubstantial things, he seemed to arrive at the request that had been on the tip of his tongue for quite a while.
"Do you want to come see Jasper with me?" he asked, pointing outside. "We've all been taking turns trying to talk to her—and also making sure she doesn't do anything dangerous—and I thought maybe you'd want to join in."
"No," Yellow said immediately, then realized that was a bit too blunt. "I don't think it would be a good idea."
"Aww, are you sure? She worked for Yellow Diamond too, didn't she?"
"She still does. That's the problem."
"But you have something in common! I bet she'd like to talk to you."
"Steven…" She ran a hand over her face, trying to figure out how to say any normal Quartz like Jasper wasn't going to want to talk to a Pearl. Especially not Yellow, who she'd butted heads with—figuratively, thank the stars—a few times in the past already.
"Please?"
He certainly knew how to get his way even if he didn't give orders, Yellow thought with amusement. "It's a bad idea," she repeated.
"Come on, Yellow, just once?"
"I—Fine. Once, as thanks for the tea. Don't be surprised if this goes wrong."
"Okay!" Steven agreed happily.
She left Blue safely on Steven's bed and followed him outside, to the translucent dome created by the destabilizing field where Jasper was being kept.
"Jasper, hi," Steven greeted the Quartz pleasantly. "I brought Yellow along today! I thought you might like some company."
Jasper's eyes narrowed as she turned to face Steven, then widened in surprise when she caught sight of Yellow. "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.
"I'm a Crystal Gem now." She wasn't quite sure if that was accurate, but it was important to present a united front. Steven looked incredibly pleased to hear her say it though, so she figured it was alright.
"You've got to be kidding me. Since when?"
"I don't think that's any of your business."
Steven gave her a look that clearly said be nicer, and Yellow relented.
"While you were fused under the ocean."
"This is some kind of trick," Jasper said suspiciously.
"Hardly. If we were interested in tricking you, there would be much easier ways." She wanted to bite her tongue as soon as she said it—she hadn't actually meant to be insulting that time, but anger was already clouding the Quartz's face.
"Well, there definitely aren't many Pearls with a mouth like yours, so maybe it isn't. Still, I always figured you for a devoted servant."
"I guess you figured wrong," she replied, keeping her tone as light as possible without backing down. "I ran away."
"Clearly. There's no loyalty left these days, is there?" Jasper growled. "Not even from a Pearl."
"My loyalties are none of your concern," Yellow replied, bristling. "At least I don't blindly follow orders and call that bravery."
"Oh, so you're not working for Rose now?" she scoffed disbelievingly.
"Jasper, I told you, I'm not Rose Quartz," Steven said, either in an attempt to derail the escalating disagreement or legitimately try to correct her. "She was my mom."
"That's still the most unconvincing lie I've ever heard, Rose."
Steven did look genuinely troubled about being called this, and Yellow felt the need to defend him even if Jasper clearly wasn't going to listen to her either. "He's not Rose Quartz. Rose Quartz is gone."
"She is not."
"She is."
"You're all cracked if you think I'm going to believe this tiny runt isn't Rose Quartz. I've seen the gem. I've seen the shield."
"I'm not saying he isn't Rose Quartz the gem, I'm saying he isn't Rose Quartz the rebel leader!"
"And you think I'll take your word for it?" There was so much scorn in Jasper's voice that it was easy for Yellow to hear the unspoken implications. Your word. Worthless. Defective. Nothing.
Hurt flared in her gem, and it was all she could do to rein herself in and not snap back with something ten times worse. Steven didn't need to be witness to her at her worst. "You're not going to take the word of anyone here, because you think we're all far too beneath you to matter!"
"Considering that the only so-called Crystal Gems I've seen are a fusion, an overcooked Amethyst, that irritating Peridot that dragged me here, a couple of Pearls, and this thing?" Jasper gestured to Steven. "Yes, I do think that. Come on, Rose, this whole act is just pathetic."
Steven flinched, and something in Yellow snapped. "Look, I don't care what an ancient lump of Quartz like you thinks, but if you insult him one more time, I will be more than happy to stab you through that gem-forsaken diamond on your chest and—"
"You just try, Pearl."
"I wouldn't even need to try, you pitiful—"
"Yellow," Steven interrupted anxiously, catching her by the elbow. "It's okay, don't—"
"It is not okay, Steven, I have had it up to here with gems like her." She marched straight up to the force field, looking down her nose at Jasper. "You're not on Homeworld, nobody cares if you're a war hero, and if I were you I'd stop antagonizing the gems keeping me prisoner before you say something you'll regret."
Jasper glared at her for a few long moments before averting her attention pointedly. "You really have a thing for feisty Pearls, don't you, Rose?" she asked lazily. "Nice of Yellow Diamond to have that one all trained and ready for you."
Yellow's jaw set, eyes hardening as she locked eyes with Jasper again. "Funny, and here I thought you were the one she trained. Somebody had to after your Diamond got herself shattered, right?"
Jasper snarled.
"Come on, Steven, let's go," Yellow said abruptly, turning her back on their prisoner. "We're not going to get anywhere with her."
Head high, shoulders straight, pretend you're the bigger gem even if you aren't. She refused to show even the slightest weakness in front of gems like Jasper.
Once they were back in the house, Yellow glanced down at Steven, relaxing her posture minutely. "Are you alright?" she asked briskly.
He nodded, though he still looked rather downcast. "Thanks for defending me."
"My pleasure."
"…I haven't heard you talk like that before."
She smirked halfheartedly. "Well, you never saw me in my element." She hesitated, faltering. "It's a reflex. Only way I used to have to keep bigger gems from walking all over me."
"Oh."
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No, it's okay. Just, um, don't actually stab her, okay? I still want to try and explain things."
"Okay," Yellow agreed, relieved. "Just don't get your hopes up. Quartzes are stubborn."
"I know," Steven laughed.
Her eyes softened slightly. "I suppose you do."
He tugged lightly at her hand. "Are you okay? Jasper said some pretty mean things to you too."
"I'm used to it," Yellow said dismissively.
"I'm sorry."
She looked down in surprise to find him holding her hand tightly.
"You shouldn't have to be used to it," Steven said quietly.
"I…" Her voice caught in her throat, and she had to pause for a moment. "Thanks," she said finally.
He nodded, still holding on. "Do you want to stay here for a little while? We could do something fun."
Yellow was prepared to say no again, but stars, she was tired all of a sudden. It wouldn't hurt to take a little more time to relax; there wasn't anything urgent that needed doing. "Okay," she agreed.
"Wait, really?" Steven seemed surprised.
She nodded.
"Great!" He gave her a quick hug. "How's a movie sound?"
"Good."
It took her about one and a half movies to finally calm down, the panicky pressure around her gem fading as she reminded herself that she was on Earth, with Steven on one side and Blue's gem on the other, and she hadn't alienated him by lapsing into the way she acted back on Homeworld.
She wasn't worthless here, and everything would be fine.
Day five.
She definitely missed Blue, but it wasn't like she could do anything about it, so she busied herself with other things to keep her mind occupied.
"You look like you could use some company," Garnet said, coming up behind her as she practiced her summoning again.
She could, but the gem she wanted to talk to wasn't available, and it seemed a bit pathetic to bother the leader of the Crystal Gems with her thoughts.
It turned out it wasn't really a question though, and Garnet joined her without waiting for a response.
"That's not really necessary," Yellow protested.
"Doesn't mean it's a bad idea."
"…I suppose." Yellow waited for Garnet to say something, or maybe ask a question, but she just sat there, watching her work.
She was fairly certain they were making some kind of group effort to keep her company while Blue was gone, which was kind but also a little bit embarrassing.
It almost startled her when the fusion finally did speak up. "Blue will be fine, if you were wondering."
"Of course she will," Yellow said briskly, with more confidence than she had. "Surely you have more important uses for your precognition than that."
Garnet gave her a bemused look, lips twitching into a smirk. "You don't care much for sympathy, do you?"
"Sympathy's fine," Yellow muttered. "Having superiors drop in unexpectedly is never a good sign, that's all."
"I'm not your superior."
"Close enough."
Garnet looked mildly uncomfortable at the insinuation, though she didn't say anything.
"Sorry. Why are you here then?"
The small frown on her lips eased. "I just wanted to get you out of your own head. It seems to be something of a tendency amongst Pearls, getting caught up in something and not being able to stop."
"I hadn't noticed," Yellow said dryly. "But thanks, I suppose. It gets quiet without Blue." That was one sentence more than she'd intended to say, and she fixed her eyes back on the ground.
"I know the feeling."
It took Yellow a moment to realize that was more her two component gems talking than herself. "You told Green she could ask you questions about fusion," she began hesitantly. "Does that go for us individually too?"
"Of course," Garnet answered easily. "What do you want to know?"
Yellow turned to face her fully. "I know you don't unfuse often, but…when you do, and you're injured, do your Ruby and Sapphire take an equally proportioned amount of damage?"
"That's always been the case, yes."
"So one gem shouldn't take away more than…?"
"No," Garnet agreed. "Even if Ruby or Sapphire wanted to take on the burden to spare the other pain—and believe me, there have been times they wanted to—it wouldn't be possible. It's not a conscious decision."
Yellow nodded. "I don't understand what happened then."
"To be perfectly honest, neither do I," she admitted. "But there's nothing you could've done, Yellow. It wasn't your fault."
She hadn't even found the courage to voice the question, and it had been answered. She wasn't sure if that was nice or infuriating. "Are you sure, or are you just saying that?" she asked sharply.
"I'm sure." Garnet slipped her visor off, smiling. "And just saying. You and I both know you wouldn't do anything to cause harm to her."
"I'm not saying intentionally, just…what if fusing is hurting her somehow?"
"It's not."
"But—"
"Neither of you were hurt after your first fusion."
"I know. That's…That's true," she said quietly. "But it still feels like we shouldn't do it anymore."
"Is that what you want?"
"No," she murmured. "No, of course not."
Garnet's eyes softened. "Then don't make any snap decisions."
"I wasn't going to. That's more Blue's area than mine."
She laughed. "Alright." A warm hand fell on Yellow's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "You can figure out what to do together. For now, try not to worry about it too much."
"Okay." She was trying.
"I really do mean it when I say she'll be fine. The odds are heavily in her favor."
Yellow nodded, throat tight with an emotion she couldn't name. "Thanks."
"No problem." Garnet slipped her visor back on, inclining her head slightly as she stood. "Blue's lucky to have you."
It was almost reassuring, and she appreciated it.
Day six.
Yellow was continuing to avoid the barn and her usual excuse to leave—training—wasn't available that evening since Pearl was out on a mission, so instead she went back out to the field she'd been frequenting and watched the sun start to go down and tried to think of something more interesting to do.
There was perhaps an hour of daylight left when she was startled by a brightness to her right. She turned immediately to see Blue's gem rising off the ground and scrambled backwards to give her space as the light shaped itself into numerous forms—five silhouettes she didn't recognize, then the familiar skirt she always saw her in back on Homeworld, and then what she barely had time to recognize as her renegade outfit before Blue dropped gracefully to the ground.
She looked very nearly unchanged—which made sense, because she was attached to this outfit and it would be convenient to make the change permanent—though she had shortened her bangs considerably. Her eyes were unobscured as she looked up, small pieces of wavy hair stopping a little above her eyebrows.
She noticed Yellow immediately, a small smile appearing on her face as they made eye contact. "Hi."
"Hi," Yellow replied faintly, and it felt like a weight had been lifted. Blue was there, and she was whole, like nothing had even happened.
The next second, Blue was making a surprised, happy sound as she found herself in a hug—not a particularly good one, Yellow knew, because she'd mostly just been in a hurry and she hadn't even thought through the idea.
"Good to see you too," Blue murmured, tilting her head to press her cheek to Yellow's.
The words startled her, and she immediately let go and put a good yard between them, cheeks flushed a deep gold. "Sorry. Are you—"
"I'm fine," she said with a smile, twirling once in place before coming closer to Yellow again. "Good as new."
Yellow cracked a small smile. "You're hardly new."
"Oh, come on, I thought I'd caught you in a good mood, don't start calling me old yet!" She toyed fondly with the little piece of hair that curled in front of Yellow's left ear. "Was I gone long?"
"Six days," she answered, looking away as they both took a seat on the grass. "Pearl was saying you might take a couple weeks. You didn't rush things, did you?"
"No, it just went quick for some reason. I guess since I knew what I wanted and I'm not trying to impress a Diamond." She looked around. "Where is everyone? Are they alright?"
"Yeah, they're fine. Malachite separated. We're still working out what to do with that annoying Jasper, but the Lazuli's decided to stick around."
"Oh, that's good." She wasn't sure how to feel about having a Lapis Lazuli from her Diamond's old court around, but she'd worry about that later. More importantly, everyone was safe. She turned her attention back to Yellow. "And you? What have you been up to? Sitting around waiting for me under the stars?"
She'd meant it as a joke, but Yellow immediately shrank back guiltily. "No," she muttered. "I just assumed you'd want—never mind." She made to stand up. "It wasn't necessary; you've done this before."
"Yellow, no," Blue said quickly, catching her arm. "I was just teasing. I didn't expect it from you, that's all. I figured you had better things to do."
Blue clearly meant it as self-deprecation rather than a criticism, but it still stung. "I didn't, actually," she said stiffly, jerking away and beginning to pick at the tops of her socks. "My apologies for not knowing the proper protocol for this kind of situation."
"…Sorry," Blue murmured, wincing. "That was a terrible thing to say; I'm just thinking like a Pearl. I really do appreciate you being here."
"It's okay," Yellow replied, glancing up with the beginnings of a smirk on her lips. "Next time I'll just put you in a corner and go about my business."
"You wouldn't," Blue laughed. She took Yellow's hand again, eyes bright with happiness. "Really though," she said seriously, "thank you for staying with me. I got used to always reforming on my own, so…I'm happy you were here."
And for some reason, that was the overwhelming part. Maybe just because she'd been telling herself she was being ridiculous ever since the whole thing started, and it felt validating to know her efforts hadn't been a waste. "You're welcome," she managed in a small voice, a tremor running through the hand Blue held.
She smiled faintly, rubbing a thumb over the slight curve of Yellow's wrist. "Have you been doing okay?" she asked gently.
"I'm fine."
"Really?"
"Yes, really," she insisted. "I'm fine. You're fine. I—I don't know what I was so worried about; there's no reason you wouldn't have been and—" Her voice cracked and she yanked her hand away, bringing it up to cover her mouth as she bit back a sob.
"Yellow…" Blue reached out again, but the other Pearl recoiled.
"O-Oh, stars, why am I—" Tears slipped down her flushed cheeks and she swiped them away roughly, staring down at her hands in confusion. "You're fine. You're fine, and everything's back to normal, why am I doing this now?"
"It's okay," Blue said softly, scooting closer. "It's okay, really, you're allowed to cry."
"I don't cry, I've never cried, this doesn't make any sense!" Yellow protested in a wavering voice. "I should at least have a good reason for it, not just—" She gestured helplessly to the room at large.
"It's okay," she repeated, reaching up to place a hand on Yellow's cheek. "You were stressed about what happened, that's all."
"Regardless, I'd like to stop now," she said, turning her face away.
Blue laughed gently, letting her hand rest on Yellow's shoulder instead. "I don't think that's how it works. Come here?"
Yellow nodded, letting Blue pull her into a warm embrace and tucking her face against her shoulder.
"Thank you for looking after me," Blue whispered. "That means so much to me, Yellow."
Her fingers tightened briefly on Blue's shirt, shoulders hitching.
"I'm sorry I made you worry." She swept a hand down Yellow's back, then back up. "I'm okay, I promise."
Yellow laughed shakily, tears dampening Blue's shoulder. "Okay."
She held Yellow close for a while longer, until the tension had left her and she was just resting against Blue's shoulder quietly.
"Well, that was thoroughly unpleasant," Yellow muttered finally. "I think I'd like to wait at least another thousand years before it happens again."
"I hope you're talking about the crying and not the hugging," Blue said lightly as Yellow pulled away.
"I am."
She laughed, reaching up to smudge away the last traces of tears from Yellow's face. "Good. We'll just call this another new Earth experience."
"Great." She froze a second later. "Stars, that's half the Crystal Gem thing, isn't it? Crying and singing?"
"Don't worry, I'm halfway there too," Blue said fondly, squeezing her hand. "Are you feeling better, at least?"
"…I think so." She scrubbed at her eyes with her free hand. "Sorry."
"It's alright, I don't mind. You were overdue for some crying if that was your first time." Blue moved around to sit beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "And I did miss you too," she added gently. "I came back as soon as I could. I knew you'd make a fuss if I rushed it though."
"Yes, I would have," Yellow agreed, leaning into her touch with a small sigh. "Better to do things right. Your hair looks good, by the way."
"Oh, you noticed!" Blue said, sounding pleased.
"Of course I noticed; I've been watching you mess with it for months." She reached into her gem and pulled out the two hair clips she'd saved. "I figured you might want them back, even if you don't need them."
"I do," she replied, looking relieved. "Thank you."
"No problem."
Blue offered the clips back to Yellow hopefully, and the other Pearl turned slightly to slip them into Blue's hair. "…So you think it's alright like this?" Blue asked, watching her.
"It's a lot more practical," Yellow replied, clicking the second one into place. "And yes, I suppose it suits you."
Blue smiled, reaching up to touch the accessories briefly. "Thanks." It was the first time she'd ever made a change on her own, without being told. The outfit was too, but it was a copy of Pearl's, not anything of her own design.
"You're really feeling alright?" she checked. "Nothing out of the ordinary?"
"Nothing at all." Blue caught Yellow's hand in her own and pulled it towards her gem, letting the tips of Yellow's fingers brush the warm surface. "See for yourself."
She blinked, surprised, eyes darting up to Blue's. "Can I?"
She nodded. "You've been carrying me around for days; I don't think there's any reason to be shy about it now." She paused, smiling. "Not that I minded before either."
"I wasn't literally carrying you around that whole time, you know," Yellow replied, trying to fight back a blush. "It's not like I was going sightseeing."
"Well, maybe next time you should." Blue tugged lightly at her hand. "Did you want to or not?"
Yellow slowly relaxed, letting her hand curve around the smooth surface of Blue's gem, resting it there in silence for a few moments. "Well," she said finally, feeling inexplicably relieved, "I guess you've always been pretty durable."
"Is that a compliment?"
"It was supposed to be."
"Oh, good, it was a nice one."
Yellow laughed, drawing her hand back.
Blue looked mildly disappointed at the loss of contact, but she smiled, happy to see Yellow starting to relax. "Thanks for sticking around," she said fondly.
"You too." Yellow dipped her head and placed a light kiss on Blue's gem because it seemed appropriately spontaneous and, well, she wanted to. "Welcome back."
A blaze of deep blue appeared on the other Pearl's cheeks and she touched her gem lightly. "I'll have to get poofed more often," she murmured, surprised.
"I'd rather you didn't."
Blue just laughed and fell back onto the grass comfortably, tugging at Yellow's arm to get her to do the same. "Thanks."
"We should probably go tell the others you're back," Yellow pointed out.
"In a minute," she agreed, intertwining their fingers securely. "It seems like a good night for stargazing."
"Yeah," Yellow agreed quietly, face warm as Blue cuddled up closer. "It does."