A/N: Hey guys! I'm here for another oneshot for this collection, and this chapter is a long one because I was inspired to write and there are lyrics to 2 songs included so they make this look longer.
But anyhoo, this chapter takes place after Halloween, and until Christmas.
Lyrics ('yourselves, ourselves' and 'waterlily') used in the chapter are from the files I wrote back in 2007, and somehow they were saved from getting thrown into the bit space. I dunno why I didn't save the story back then too, it makes no sense to me either, trust me (lol).
And as usual, Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to J.K. Rowling. I only own the lyrics used in the song, storyline and the characters you can't recognize.
Part 3 - "A Game Of Secrets"
As Lily had suspected, being a friend with someone like James proved to be both interesting and problematic – he was really funny and he always made Lily laugh, but he was also starting to get very, very interested in knowing why Lily had to sneak out from school so often at night. He and his friends always looked at her like as if they knew she was lying, but they always let her go either way. She knew she would have to either play along with them, and pretend to not to notice or she should just tell them – which she wasn't ready to do just yet because of the reaction her ex-friends had had a week earlier.
Lily needed more time to prepare for it.
Lily had forgotten her ex-friends almost completely by the time the week had passed, but they certainly had not – they spent most of their time still glaring at her at every given moment, but Lily had chosen to ignore it altogether. It was pointless to even try to get along with them because they would only sneer at her, mock her for her life decisions and be so obviously jealous of her riches that it was almost hilarious.
I'm not poor enough for them to like me, I guess, Lily thought and chuckled every time she thought about it. What's even funnier about this is the fact that they don't even realize they behave exactly like Julia and her friends does – they only accept certain types of people into their group, she added.
"Wow, they only want poor people to be their friends?" Lisa asked when Lily told her and Lynn about the whole issue that had ended up with the fallout a week ago.
"Sounds like there's more to it than what you just told us though", Lynn pointed out, raising her eyebrow.
"Ehhh..." Lily swore. She hadn't realized these two would see right through her story – she hadn't mentioned Satine White at all – and sighed. "Ok, I'm not really ready to talk about it but you're gonna ask me anyways, right?"
"Yeah, spill the beans, woman", Lynn said, curious look in her eyes.
"Well, I'm filthy rich because I'm Satine White..." Lily murmured, and got mentally prepared for yet another fallout from these two friends as well.
But the yelling never began.
Instead, Lisa did a victory dance and said, "Lynn, hand over the money!"
Lynn looked shocked. "What the hell, how is this possible?" she mumbled as she took out her money and gave it to Lisa, who kept dancing and singing,
"I won, I won, I won, for once I won~!"
Lily was dumbfounded. How did they already know!? "What...?"
"Oh, sorry", Lisa said and stopped her singing and dancing and grinned. "We made a bet about it because you kinda went full SW Mode at our Halloween party. Lynn here didn't notice any of it but she doesn't really even care about your music much, but I've been a fan since your debut so I notice everything."
"I was 100% sure I'd win", Lynn said, still shocked. "You don't seem like the type of a person who'd be Satine freakin' White!"
Lily giggled. "But I am", she said. "I tried to hide it the best I could though. Maybe I was just too good at it until Halloween."
"You definitely were", Lisa agreed. "I didn't notice the similarities until Halloween."
"Damn, did anyone else notice?" Lily asked, furrowing her eyebrows, feeling worried. If it had been so easy to notice, it was highly possible that other people may have noticed it as well.
"I doubt it, Lils", Lisa said. "Everyone was too busy talking about James and Julia to notice it."
Lily sighed. "I tried so hard to keep Satine and Lily separated personality wise to have some privacy at times..."
"It's understandable", Lisa laughed. "Everyone loses their minds when you walk into a room!"
"I know!" Lily laughed. She felt so relieved that these two hadn't lost their cool at them immediately when she had revealed her secret to them.
"You two are better friends than the ones I had", Lily told them. "They lost their cool because I told them I'm Satine."
"They don't deserve you in their lives then. I think you're awesome", Lynn said. "Time to upgrade your friends to us!"
"I think I already did!"
"But it's official now, Siren!"
Lily laughed. Lynn and Lisa were fun to have around.
"We should celebrate this by go out and shop our hearts out for some luxurious stuff", Lisa said. "Or do you have time, Lily?"
"Not at the moment, but I would love to go shopping with you sometime", Lily said. "I gotta make time for the next Hogsmeade meeting."
"Yeah, do that. I really want to show you this nice dress I found, it might look good on you..."
After some time had passed, Lily had to face a new problem – James excessively rising curiosity regarding her disappearances. He had begun to flirt with her to make her spill the beans, and because Lily already had feelings for him, it was really hard to play the game of secrets with him. Lily tried to flirt her way out of the situation, but it was getting harder and harder because she really liked him being really close to herself – he often whispered nice things to her ears and Lily felt like she'd melt in his arms at every given moment.
Lily wanted to tell him she was falling for him, but couldn't. It'd be too soon after his breakup with Julia Woodstock and he had wanted to stay single for a while anyways.
He basically had a new girl in his arms every day, and Lily had no interest in becoming one of them.
Speaking of Julia Woodstock, she wasn't too pleased with the turn of events – she and her gang of girls expressed their dissatisfaction with James at every given moment by dissing him for his behavior, and, of course, for hanging out with a girl like Lily. He usually ignored them when they tried to fight with him about it, Lily could see that he was annoyed by their attitude.
"Don't give in to them, James, it's exactly what they want you to do", Lily told him after one time they had tried to play their stupid games on him.
James had nodded, and then he walked over to the Girl of the Day, as Lily and her new friends called his girls.
But despite all the fun Lily was having in her life these days, she still had that one bigger issue which was the catalyst for the events that ended up with her losing her friends of 6 years – someone wanted to expose Lily to everybody. This person wanted to tell everyone about Satine and probably do it in a way that would make Lily look really, really bad. That's the impression she had gotten from the weird messages that were still sent to her on weekly basis. Sender was really smart with their method of hiding their identity – they wrote the letter with cutting alphabets from magazines and glued them on the paper that was then sent to her, hidden inside an envelope that looked like it was from a fan.
I wonder how long this asshole has been planning this, Lily wondered after she had gotten yet another letter saying she better get ready to be exposed soon. Lily hid the letter to a box where all the other letters were and put it into her wardrobe which she locked up with a spell.
Lily had informed her team at GD Music Group about the letters, and they were trying to find clues as to where and who the culprit was. Lily could only hope it wasn't too late to figure it out, but she couldn't shake off the feeling that she needed to start planning and scheming in order to prevent worst of the backlash that was certainly coming her way sooner or later.
At last minute solution to her issue, Lily would go and reveal her secret herself as a part of her next album's promotion – she wouldn't let anyone reveal her secret. It needed to happen on her own terms, not on anyone else's.
After few weeks of waiting, it became clear that not even GD Music Group was able to solve the problem. On one morning at the start of December, Lily was sent a letter saying they were unable to find anything because nobody knew anything, and Lily could only sigh. She had hoped that it wouldn't come down to it, but there was no other way – she would have to go for the Plan B which she had dubbed as Operation Revelation.
She added small accessories and wore clothing that hinted directly to Lily during her performances and photoshoots for magazines. She even changed her hairstyle from her signature black hair to a more dark red – her natural hair color – and wore jewellery that had little golden lions on them, and few times she even had either yellow or a red tie on during her performances – but Hogwarts' fans still hadn't noticed the meanings behind all that.
Instead, they began to copy her style eagerly as they thought it was just a new fashion phase that Satine had for her new album era.
Not even James Potter, who had been very interested in Lily's secrets, had figured out the truth just yet – but Lily knew it was only a matter of time. He wasn't a dumb guy. He saw Satine related things every time he went to GD Music Group to meet his parents, who owned the company. Lily and James just kept playing their little game of secrets as much as they could because it was fun to them both, and they didn't want it to end anytime soon.
One might say Lily was actually a little bit selfish when it came to this little game – it would've been easiest to just tell him about it, but Lily was scared he might never hit on her again so she decided to play dumb instead so she could look into his gorgeous eyes a little while longer. She didn't want him to go away.
She wanted him to stay so eagerly.
So she kept her mouth shut.
Well, that was until she got a letter saying,
"If you're not willing to tell James Potter about your secret,
I might let it slip by 'accident'."
She was shocked beyond belief. This person was able to see what she was doing at Hogwarts too? How could that be possible? Lily felt so confused and paranoid right at that moment, that she began to imagine hidden cameras to be put into the corners of the castle – even though she knew that electric devices didn't work at the school.
But then it hit her – if someone knew what she was doing at Hogwarts, it could only mean one thing.
The Culprit was someone within the school.
Lily had no idea who it could be. Did she even have any rivals there who could do something like this to her just to ruin her? Well, Jay Nicols would absolutely love to see her suffer just to win the stupid competition regarding grades but Lily was hundred percent sure that he didn't care enough. Another option was Alice and Katie, who could do that since they already told the worst perverts in Lily's old gang of friends – Lily had gotten perverted letters from them ever since the fallout – but they wouldn't hate her so much they would send threats, right?
Besides, the first letters came when I was still friends with them, and they got pissed when I told them about Satine so it can't be them, Lily wondered one morning in the Great Hall. I wish I knew who this asshole was, I would obliviate their minds to shit! She furiously thought, feeling frustrated and annoyed at the same time.
"Lily, why is this one Ravenclaw chick glaring at you?" Lynn asked, bringing Lily back from her thoughts.
"What?" redhead asked, and looked into the said house table.
Lynn was right. There was a dark haired, blue eyed girl sitting there, glaring at Lily with eyes filled with so much hatred that it freezed Lily's whole soul.
"Why does she look at me like that?" Lily whispered, shivering.
"I really have no idea, Lils. I don't even know who she is", Lynn said. "Looks creepy as hell though."
Lily nodded, as The Marauders joined them on Gryffindor house table.
"What's up, ladies?" James asked as he sat down next to Lily.
"Do you know who that Ravenclaw girl is who's glaring at me?" Lily immediately asked.
James turned his head to that direction and shivered. "That's Krystal Wales. She's really weird and has been stalking me for a few days now for some reason."
"Really?" Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "Is she one of your fans who wants to kill me because I distract you from them?"
"Probably", James grinned. "But you're more fascinating than anyone else, cutie. How about you tell me your secret?"
"Nah, James, this is the wrong place to talk about that", Lily giggled.
James looked worried. "Are you in some kind of a trouble?" he whispered.
Lily nodded.
"Is it Krystal? I can take care of it if you want."
"No, it's nothing like that, James. I can deal with it myself, don't worry", Lily said and smiled. "It's gonna be OK."
James slowly nodded, but Lily could tell that he had gotten an answer to a unanswered question by the thoughtful look on his face. She could easily see that his brain was processing the information, and the redhead could only hope that he wasn't going to run if he realized what was really going on.
"Actually", James suddenly said and took a letter out of his pocket. "I got this letter last night", he said as he opened it and handed it over to Lily.
"Lily Evans is so much more than the redhead you see, James.
Wanna know the rest? Check out Satine's recent performances, you dumbass."
Lily's insides felt icy cold when she had read that letter. The Culprit was now trying their best to confuse James out of his mind with these letters? Lily couldn't help but wonder if she should cut all communication with him but the moment she looked at his eyes, she knew she could never do that to him. She wanted to have him in her life, even if he was just a friend to her – well, at the moment at least.
"You know", James said casually as he put the letter back to his pocket. "There's a theory among Satine fans that claims you and Satine are the same person, my dear Lily."
Lily smiled. "Well, if it's just a theory, and not a fact, why do you even bother listening to it?" she asked him innocently. "It's kinda like those theories where they claimed how you're Satine's secret lover and you're just hiding that from everybody by faking a relationship with Julia."
"Hmm, good point", James said. "But I can't help but think about your disappearances whenever I hear about those theories. You being Satine would explain those quite well..." he went on, and looked into Lily's eyes eagerly as if to find some hints but Lily kept her cool and didn't react to it at all.
James grinned. "You're not gonna react to that, huh? Interesting results, my dear Lily, you just walked into my clever trap."
Lily was shocked. Had this guy finally won their little game? "You little trickster, I'll punish you..." Lily threatened playfully.
"If it includes sex, then go ahead", James laughed.
"Maybe..." Lily flirted.
James winked at her.
"Why do those two always end up talking about sex?" Lynn asked from Lisa.
"It's because they want to shag each other but aren't able to go for it", Lisa giggled.
Lily blushed at that because it was true.
Things went smoothly after the discussion. Lily and James kept talking as usual, but they didn't do it in public anymore. Even though they never really spoke about it, Lily knew that James had noticed something serious was going on in Lily's life and he had began to try is best to protect Lily just as much as Lily protected herself. James wasn't following her around anymore whenever Lily was going to sneak out of the school, and she appreciated that so much. She even bought him a Christmas gift from Hogsmeade when she did her promised shopping spree with Lisa and Lynn and gave it to him when the students were going home for Christmas. To her surprise James had also bought her a gift and she couldn't wait for the moment when she could open it to see what was inside.
"Don't open it until you get home", he had told her in the train.
Lily had nodded and wanted to hug him but decided not to. "See you after the holidays, James", she said instead. "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas to you too, my dear Lily", James said softly. Then he turned around and went back to his friends in another compartment.
When Lily had gotten home, she opened the gift immediately when she reached her room, and saw a very beautiful golden necklace with a ruby on it. There was also a card where James had written,
"You can trust me with your secret
I won't lie to you, or spread rumors about you
Let's stick together every day"
– James
Lily looked at the card for a moment. It was lyrics to her song called "yourselves, ourselves" from her second album, Feel. She sighed. Of course he would figure it out on his own sooner or later. It was also very clear why James had suddenly become so protective over her – he had figured her secret out long before the holidays had even began. He probably had done exactly what the Culprit's letter had said and he had noticed all the hints Lily had been throwing around everywhere in the past few weeks.
"I love this necklace", Lily whispered and smiled. "James, I love you..." she whispered.
After getting rid of her mother and her poorly obvious matchmaking attempts, Lily was getting ready for her Christmas Live performance that aired on GD Music Group's own entertainment channel every year in December. Lily was wearing a big red princess dress. She was wearing James' gift with her hair up on her head in a bun. She was wearing red gloves that reached to the tip of her elbows as well as a golden bracelet on her left wrist.
"You really are into these big princess dresses, aren't you?" asked Allison Smith, who was Lily's manager.
"I'm really into these types of dresses this year", Lily told her. "I want my style to be different than last year's. You know me, Allison. Different concept each year."
Allison smiled. "Yes. And you do look stunning in this dress, Lily. You won't be forgotten this year either."
Lily agreed. She had already noticed that she was the only one performing a ballad in the show, and also the only one with a big dress but she didn't care. She just had her own style that she was very loyal to. And these huge dresses were gorgeous. She just loved them.
When it was Lily's turn to perform her song, she was excited when she was finally told to go to the darkened stage. She and her band went in as the hosts were talking about her success on the smaller stage next to the bigger one.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is Satine White and the song she'll perform is called 'waterlily' from her upcoming album. Enjoy", the host said.
The music began to play as the performers' stage lit up with a blue lights, and Lily saw smoke at her feet – it was a part of her performance's special effects – and she smiled to the audience for a moment before she began singing her song.
What can you say?
What can I say?
Are you still chasing your dreams?
Why did we choose separate roads?
I wonder if you ever really wanted to love me
If I had been able to hear your heartbeat, even just once
I would've chosen your warmth any day
We used to have idle talks
That's what we were like
What can you say?
What can I say?
I just lost my will to say anything
It's like I've been woken from a pleasant dream
I wonder if you ever really think about me
If I could see you, even just once
I would've chosen your closeness any day
We used to hold each others' hands
That's what we were like
If I happen to see you again
I would be happy
I wouldn't choose that road again
The narrow road
Decorated with waterlilies
The stage got dark again with only one ray of light shining on Lily as she sang the outro to her very sad love song.
Why...?
Why...?
Why did you leave me?
I remember your promise every day...
The song ended. Crowd cheered in a excited manner – but Lily was able to see few girls drying their eyes with napkins as well – and she waved to them.
"Thank you so much! Merry Christmas!" she said.
The crowd cheered even more loudly at her, as the hosts walked to her.
"Well, that was a very emotional performance from you, Satine", the male host commented.
"Yes, but what else can you expect from me?" Lily joked. "I'm always emotional!"
"Yes, yes, that is very true", male host agreed.
"Your dress is absolutely gorgeous", female host commented. "Was it expensive?"
"If I told you the price of this dress, you might faint in horror", Lily told her.
"It was that expensive?"
Lily nodded. "Yes, but I'm really into these dresses this year so I needed to have yet another one for this performance. But the upcoming New Year's concert will not include these. That concert will start a new era in my artistry so a new concept in outfits will also happen, as usual."
"Your new album seems kinda dark judging by the singles that has already been released", male host said.
"Yes, it is. I'm not really all that depressed but somehow that album turned into a darker one as well. I had a different idea for it originally but I guess my mind and heart did not want to co-operate this time", Lily said. "But I like the album so far. It's just filled with raw, honest thoughts and feelings that has been on my mind this year. I haven't given it a title yet but it will not be a untitled release, I can promise you that!" she went on.
Audience cheered, as they always did when Satine's new releases were mentioned. She was on the peak of her popularity so everybody was absolutely obsessed with everything she released. Lily knew it wouldn't last forever, but she didn't really care. She made music because she loved music, and touring. It was the best thing about her career.
The interview went on for a little while longer, and then Lily said goodbyes to everybody, and went back to her dressing room hoping that James saw the performance, and noticed the necklace. She got out of her dress with a little help of her magic wand and then proceeded to go back home, where she had to walk upstairs as quiet as she could because her parents were already sleeping. She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, and she didn't even bother checking the messages that her friends had sent to her phone. She checked them the next morning and thanked everybody for their nice words and even flirted with James a little bit on a video chat because she had wanted to hear his voice.
The rest of Lily's Christmas break didn't really feel like a break as she was really busy with all kinds of performances in different end of year shows because she had promised to perform in every single one – Lily had assumed her holidays would be boring so she had agreed to a lot of performances but now she swore because she had to skip all the fancy parties Lisa and Lynn had wanted her to come. However, they understood why Lily couldn't go, and they promised to watch the performances to support her.
Lily loved her friends so much for that. She gave them both special VIP passes for her New Year's concert, and they were both excited. Lily saw James and his friends in the audience during the concert having a ton of fun as well, and she couldn't be happier – this had been all she had ever dreamed of. Her friends in the audience showing support for their friend. Katie and Alice would never do this because they were jealous of her, but her new friends did. It was amazing.
After the New Year's concert's emotional ending, it was time to celebrate the New Year at a private party that Lily and her team always had after the beginning of the tour and after the tour had ended. It was a tradition that nobody in her team wanted to stop doing. Lily allowed Marauders and Lynn, Lisa and Heath to join the fun as well. Lily's friends were eager to hear all kinds of stories from Lily's past tours and they all laughed a ton. By the time it was time to go home, it was way past midnight and Lily was tired as hell when she got home.
"I'm gonna do something I've wanted to do for a while now", said James, who was taking her home, and he pulled her into a kiss. Lily kissed him right back with so much desire that it came as a complete surprise to her.
"Is this a promise of a future together?" Lily whispered against his lips.
"Yes", James answered. "I still need a little bit of time, but I couldn't take it anymore. I've wanted to kiss you for weeks."
"No worries, James, I'll wait for you", Lily said softly.
James sighed in relief. "You're so amazing, Lils", he said and hugged her.
Lily hugged him tightly for a moment before they let go of each other. "See you on the train, James", she said. "Happy New Year."
"Yeah, same to you, my dear Lily", James said and disappeared with a pop.
Lily bit her lower lip while she smiled like a fool. James wanted to be her boyfriend!
Finally, she thought as she walked into her house as quietly as she could and headed upstairs where she threw herself on the bed. She fell asleep immediately, and dreamt of James' warm lips on hers.
A/N: This oneshot is now finished at last. But it's only the first 50% of it because I got a little bit carried away with my writing so hard that this one would be at least 14 pages long if I just let myself write it as I had originally planned lol. I will post the rest of this part here next week. :)