(Note: So I reimagined the whole Children of Atom on the boat thing in Far Harbor, and how they would present themselves in a MLP world. It gets a bit hectic but don't worry. I'm not sure I knew what I was doing with this chapter but it gets better. :3 )

Chapter 9 Memoirs of a Grimoire

"Now what's this," I asked the woman in the veil. She was wearing red with sparkly gold dripping off it like rain. I rubbed my amulet that hung around my neck ever since I'd found it. I think that although it was rather feminine, it did look quite good on me! Still, I had to wonder what it meant.

In regards to my question, the mare lifted up a stick of what looked like candy, licorice. "It's a chem, a sugar stem. Or what it's more well known as, sugarcane." She smiled and her eyes glittered.

"Oh god," my eyelids fluttered, "it sounds amazing."

"Good," and she proceeded to pop it in my muzzle. She let her hoof trail around the inside of my lips, very tenderly and suggestively.

I shuddered and pushed her hoof out of my mouth. I chewed the sugarcane stick and swallowed, "Oh no," I told her, hoof on hers, "I'm gay and taken."

"Oh?" she giggled behind a fan.

"Yeah." her face began to become all wavy and I blinked slowly, "My, what is going on?"

"What do you mean," she frowned in concern.

"You're…all…wavy!" my voice was slow and deep like a billy goat. Oh my goodness! She was so pretty. "I think you're great." I laughed like a hyena.

"You're great!" she said like a snake. That's when she suddenly became one. Like a spring she sproinged and oh colt.

"Whoa," I burped. My EFS said [CAUTION] and I lost my mind in hysterics. "Ahahahaha!" I kicked my legs and held tightly to my stomach. "Why are you doing this?"

She became a beautiful creature, her robes becoming a tunic, and a belly dancing mare appeared out of the fog. "I can grant you but 1 wish. Use it wisely my wonderful gay friend." she handed me something then, a gem. It was so pretty and sparkly. A rock that glowed like a brilliantly flashing rainbow. Red, Orange, Yellow and Green. Blue, Indigo and Purple.

"Wow, what is that?" I smiled like a party clown. My eyes were big and round and filled with wonderment.

"It's a wish in the form of a diamond. I'll put it with your necklace, they go well together and it's important you don't forget that." she set it in next to the Moon Stone. The Wishing Star my EFS said. It fit perfectly.

"Now what?" I smiled like a filly.

"Now, you drink." said the mystical mare. She handed me a cup of amber liquid. I sniffed at it like a dog.

"What's in this stuff," I grimaced. It smelled horrible and I didn't think it could possibly taste good.

"It tastes amazing, it's directly from the Amber Fruit Herself. She's very brave. And she has welcomed you into her graces." I took the cup and she smiled like a snake.

"You're a sneky snek." I winked at her and hiccuped. "Will I get too meet this pretty lady?"

"Yessss," she hissed in a cool breeze whisper. "But only if you drink Her passion fruit."

"Okie," I giggled like a little colt. I gulped it in one go like a shot, even though the glass was large and volcano shaped. "Oh my," I nodded and licked my lips, "It is good!" and then the world went black. "Strong stuff," I said just before I passed out on the carpet of the gypsy den.

"Goodnight."

Capper Dapperpaws

"Where's my friend?" I asked in a vicious tone.

"Now now, you don't have to be upset," said the Grand Priest with one hoof raised and the billowy robes hanging below like a carpet.

"Put that thing away, it's offensive," I waved him off in disgust.

"No need to be rude Capper. Your friend is on the path of enlightenment, just as you can be."

"Okay, then let's get this show on the road," I flourished my sleeves to adjust them. Steady now boy. No need to get your britches in a knot.

"Good!" the Priest grinned. He turned around quickly and I followed him down a metal path. "I'm going to take you to the Auxiliary control room."

It was huge. It was also small and protected by guards who nodded us in like bouncers. We entered and the computers blipped to life. He sat me in front of one. "Go on, this is our people's greatest honor."

I pressed the button and it said WELCOME. I pressed enter and it scrolled through a feature of data files. They were all labelled, 'Achilles Memory File.' Oh boy. They were his memories! The ones we had set out to find. "I have to go see Blitzy now." I shot out of my chair. The Priest smiled and bowed his head to me.

"Very well. Right this way."

Ravager Blitzfire

I woke up with a racing heartbeat and a cold sweat. There was a mare near me, applying cool oils that smelled of mint and lavender. It was interesting and strong. I squirmed, "Wha-what?!"

"Do not be alarmed. I am here to help you." her voice was cool, like a breeze on a summer's day, or a sip of cider in autumn when the apples were at their most fresh.

"Who are you?" my voice cracked.

"I am the Earth Mother. I control the ways of Nature just as Celestia and Luna controlled the motions of the Sun and Moon." she smiled down at me and her rather long arm lifted and her hoof met my chin. "It is a very rare occurrence for one to meet me so soon."

"Okay?" I looked up at her and I saw her fully for the first time. In fact, it wasn't a her in the first place. He was a stallion, and he was beautiful. He was orange and he glew like the Sun. He had swirling gold in his fur, like ornaments and decorations. It was a beautiful Niponese pattern. His cutie mark was a swirling sun with points along its edges to signify rays. "Oh my Faust," I gasped. Did I forget to mention the beautiful majestic wings on him you only saw on gods, or god like beings, alicorns? His horn was tall and beautiful. He had two though, one on his forehead, kinda small and stubby.

"I am Prince Alistair of Cumberland Island." he smiled.

"What's going on?"

"All will be explained soon." He smiled.

Capper Dapperpaws

I couldn't believe I'd just seen the storage room for where my brother's memories were being kept. It was like a secret treasure cove. It was freaky and a bit creepy. I had to find a way to get them. I could transfer them to Blitzfire's Pip-Buck and then once we were back in Arcadia, I could put them in memory sphere's where they belonged.

The Grand Priest led me to the Great Hall, the maze of bridges and walkways containing beautiful Zen Gardens and mechanics of which you've never dreamed. It didn't leave much to the imagination and for once that was a good thing. I was walking through a flower garden the one moment, seeing and talking to singing flowers, and then through a magic mushroom patch with red and white polka dotted mushrooms. The Priest said, "This is where I must leave you. From here you must prove yourself worthy by making it out in one piece."

"Or should he say, with your head," said a rather deep voice. I turned to ask the stallion what he meant but instead found a small blue pony.

"Who are you?" I asked him, confused.

"I am Little Pone Blue. But you stole my line. Who…are…you?" he said deliberately slowly.

"Oh boy," I put a hand on my head, "This is crazy," I said to him.

"Of course it's crazy." that's when the little colt popped a piece of candy into his mouth.

"What's that?" I asked, but I didn't have time to find out. Just then a little white bunny hopped by. He was bitching and moaning to himself about being late.

He had a high pitched voice and he was chanting, "I'm late, I'm late, I'm very very late! No time to say hello, goodbye! I'm very very late!" he was holding onto a golden pocket watch that was much too big to fit into any of his pockets. Wait, pockets? He was wearing a coat! It was very strange to say the very least.

I rose a brow and turned to the blue pony but he was gone. In his place was a table instead of a mushroom and behind me the Zen Gardens were gone. Instead I found myself on a tiled floor. The table was glass.

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm very very late! God dammit!" the bunny cussed to himself. One of his ears was folded. He hopped up to a door just his height and he knocked on it.

"Ahem, *cough, cough*, yes yes, excuse me, dearest me!" he wheezed. He sounded rather old but then again he was an ornate knob.

"Please let me through or I swear to Faust I'm gonna skewer you with a key." The rabbit pointed a paw at it, a finger, with a sharpened claw on the end.

"Okay, okay! Just give me a moment. Yes yes, there we go." then the doorknob smiled, "Off on royal business are we?"

"Of course I am! Now excuse me I must go see the Queen Fluffles."

The rabbit hopped off into sweet victory with the key and meanwhile the door clicked shut, locked once more.

"Hey, hey now! What's the big idea," I brushed myself off, then stepped up to the door. I came to realize, I was much too tall to even think I could fit in there. But like a cat in a box, I would definitely think to try.

Ravager Blitzfire

"Now, sweet pony, what is it you seek, and I shall see if I can't help you find it," Alistair was standing proudly before me while I just sat back on my haunches in front of him. I wondered if this is how Princess Twilight must've felt when she was first approached by the Princess herself, Celestia, and I wasn't even a unicorn! I felt I might pee myself again.

"I am looking for a friend's memories, any way you could help me find them?"

"Oh?" he rose an eyebrow, "Really now? I may just know a place."

"Perfect!" I nodded, "Can you take me there?"

"Oh, I'm afraid no can do. You see, you have not gone through the greatest test."

"What's that?"

Alistair smiled and winked at me with a nod of his oversized head, "You must first complete a task for me."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" I asked with a just as smart look as he'd given me.

"You must pair up with another member of the Children of Arcana to help bring down an evil being. Then, you can obtain the device to help the Children power up their fog condensers."

"That sounds freaky, I don't know if I wanna be apart of your cirque de freakpone." I had a disgusted scowl for that one.

"Well you must! Lest you forget you've been chosen by the gypsy, lucky wish boy," Alistair was ecstatic.

"Okay, I'll do it, but where's Capper?" I narrowed my eyes.

"He's just undergoing his first test." Alistair laughed. These people were psychotic.

Capper Dapperpaws

I knocked on the wooden door and the doorknob coughed awake. "Oh? Wh-what is it? Who's there?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that, dog?" I sniffled my whiskers with a twitch of my nose.

"My, it seems you are too big to fit." said the knob.

"How do I get smaller?"

The doorknob laughed, "Oh, that my friend is simple." a dinner bell rang and the doorknob said, "Tea time!"

On the table above, I could see through the glass that a coffee cake in a doily wrapper had appeared. It was just sitting there. "Oh, but how am I supposed to get up there?"

"Just drink the tea," the doorknob smiled and gestured toward the cup now sitting at the base of the table.

"Oh boy. What are they? Drugs, amigo?"

"No!"

"I think I recognize contraband, amigo, from my bootleggin' days." I winked at him and moved toward the cup. There was a tag on it that said "Drink me". "Okay, here goes." I lifted the glass like a toast and taking it like a shot, I drank it all down. Boom! Suddenly I was growing bigger and I could feel it in my gut. Oh colt! I was towering above the table then, the door far below.

"Now how do I get back down?!" I called.

"Eat the cake!" yelled the door.

It was labelled "Eat me." I picked it up and took a bite. I began to shrink and then blam! I was door sized. "You can fit now!" chuckled the door.

I reached for the knob, but just as I turned it I realized it was still locked. The handle clicked in protest. The doorknob looked up to the table, "You forgot the key."

"Oh colt, now how am I supposed to get up there? I drank all the Drink me drink."

"Don't worry, see for yourself."

Behind me the drink was back. I smiled and took a swig. Whoa! I was there, just at table height, and thank goodness I hadn't eaten all the cake either. I grabbed the key and ate another bite, shrinking down to just the right side. "Thank the Queen," said the door, "the last person down here cried a Pool of Tears."

"Oh boy," I grinned and turned the brass key. I was out.

And straight into a patch of wild flowers. "What's happening?" I asked aloud.

Take a little trip and don't go back, because our roots hold us down right here in the grass!

It's a treat yes indeed, all the fertilizer you need,

You'll be healthy right here in the Sun!

There were singing flowers! It was real and this was happening. I stepped toward the largest rose. "Hello y'all, let me introduce myself. I am Dapperpaws. Capper Dapperpaws. Why don't you tell me a little about yourselves?"

"I am the Rose Garden Keeper." said the rose.

"What are you?" asked a Tiger Lily.

"Me? Well, I'm a cat!"

"A cat?" cried some of the ladies, "I have never heard of such a preposterous thing!"

"He's a weed!" someone pointed fingers, or leaves, "Kill him!"

"Wait, ladies, no, you got me all wrong!" I cried and ran.

"And stay out!"

I came running into what looked like an old wood. There was a sign. It was labelled Tulgey Wood. Huh, strange name. I was wearing a robin hood hat and I flicked it to keep it safely attached to my head. I came to a tree with an overhanging branch and a fork in the road. Literally and figuratively. "Hello?" I put my paw on my chin. "I wonder which way he went."

"Which way who went?" said a deeply sickening and charming voice.

"The White Rabbit," I said. I looked up to see a cat in the tree, one much like me, just sitting there with his legs crossed. He was purple, his belly solid colored and fluffy, the rest of him was covered in striped, pink and purple candy cane stripes. His eyes were yellow and he had tufts of fur in his ears. His smile was like no other.

"Oh! He went that away," the cat pointed in both directions.

"He went which way?" I flipped a paw to show the pad side as a gesture.

"Who went what way?" the cat blinked.

"Oh, this is crazy!" I facepalmed.

"We're all mad here," the cat smiled wickedly from ear to ear and vanished into thin air.

"What just happened!?" I gasped.

The stripes appeared, twirling round and round to form the shape of a neko. "Oh, you there. Like I said, we're all mad here. As you can see, I'm not all there myself!" the cat pointed behind himself to indicate his slowly forming body.

"Look pal, can you just tell me where I need to go?" I asked him.

"Sure! There's a tea party he's bound to go hopping past eventually. It's down that way," the cat pointed to my right.

"Thanks! See ya later!" I waved as I jogged off down the path.

"Suit yourself," the cat shrugged and in a flash of hearts he was gone, but I was too far down the path to notice.

I came to a garden gate, one covered in red roses. Oh great. I opened it and it creaked invitingly. Many hands and hooves had grazed this gate. There was a dining table on the front lawn of a rather crooked house wearing a hat. "What in Faust's name?" I stared open jawed at the scene. A white pony in a wine red hat was pouring tea into a set of three tea cups stacked atop the last. He was serving a greyish whitish bunny with a twitch in the left side of his body. Meanwhile, a mouse ran to and fro between the mismatched tea sets. There was room for plenty but there were only these three.

"Oh! A happy happy unbirthday, happy happy unbirthday! A happy happy unbirthday to you, and you!" yelled the stallion in a hat.

"Unbirthday?" I asked, approaching. "What are you going on about, colt?"

"Well it's my unbirthday you see," he had a deep and goofy voice, and his eyes were googly, going in all directions. His tongue hung out of his mouth as they spun.

"You can't have an unbirthday fellow," I slid a paw toward him through the air, "or at least celebrate it."

"Of…course you can…" said the rabbit.

The mouse popped out of a tea kettle, the lid flying through the air, carrying a piece of pie, "Tum Tum Berry Pie?" he asked in a shrill voice.

"Look, who are y'all people, and mind tellin' me what's going on here?" I asked.

The white stallion stood up and climbed atop the table. He looked glorious with his white mane shining beneath that rather large silly cap. Then he smiled at me. "I am the Mad Poner and this is your first test! Catch me!" he yelled and jumped off the table.

I furrowed my eyebrows, completely confused, but he just kept falling. Into the grass, deeper and deeper it went like it was never ending, until he just ended up right back on the table. "You have passed your first test!" yelled the Mad Poner maniacally.

"I'm late for Faust's sake!" came a loud hollering. It was the squealing of that insufferable rabbit. He pulled the pocket watch out once more.

"Oh! Bread?" the Marching Hare grabbed for the watch to the complete horror of the White Rabbit. "Needs butter don't it?" Like a toy soldier, he marched all the way across the table to where the Door Mouse was about to commence eating a large stick of butter. "Mine!" he grabbed it up and with a butter knife two sizes too small he spread the whole stick on the watch.

"What in Fluffles' name?! You madman!" yelled the rabbit. He was bouncing up and down trying to reach the watch.

Meanwhile, the Mad Poner sat back in his throne like chair with a look of content on his face, looking on in amusement. "Aren't you gonna do somethin'?" I asked behind a paw.

"My, my, no! Well, maybe! I think yes!" Poner jumped up and raced across the table. He scampered past the Door Mouse who had been making a quick escape and he stood there spinning in place like a cartoon. Poner grabbed the watch and handed it to the rabbit. "Kind sir."

"Stupid bitch." the White Rabbit took it and made his way off. "10 minutes fast!"

"Does anything make sense around here, mi amigo?" I furrowed my coat as I made with haste after him. The Mad Poner waved me off.

Into the thick of the Tulgey Wood I went, where it only grew darker and darker. Banshee wind howled through the thistle and thorn, making me shiver. The trees were red, like they were covered in blood. The leaves were purple, like nightshade. For a second I even though I saw a face in one of those trees. Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

"Who…are…you?" I crashed into the Little Pone Blue, who had just appeared to ask me just that question.

I got myself together, "You startled me."

"Looking…for…something?" he asked in that slow demeanor of his, chewing on another piece of candy.

"I…don't honestly know," I rubbed my head.

"Watch out…for Thornwood." he slowly disappeared into the fog of the Tulgey, his tail bobbing along with him.

I twiddled my toes in the dust, trying to snap myself out of this dream. It was a delusion, nothing more, and perhaps there was a way out. But as I had learned a long time ago, there was no taking the easy way out. My toe stubbed on something and I cursed. I grabbed my foot and hopped around for a second, then I noticed what I had hit.

Picking it out of the grass, I noticed it was a sign. It read, "The Thistles of Thornwood." I glanced around, feeling unsettled, then I dropped the sign and headed into the fog. This fog was strangely reminiscent of something else. But there was no time to think as I came out of the thistles and into a small town. Ponies wandered about, looking bemused and befuddled. None of them seemed to know what they were up to.

One sauntered up to me, "Excuse me kind sir, but are you lost?"

"Um? No?" I scratched my head.

"Oh. Well, I am."

"Good for you," I moved past him. I saw the White Rabbit disappearing into a crowd. I tried to make my way toward him but as soon as I got into the square I was drawn down a different current of ponies. I was shoved toward a candy shop.

"Are you lost?" asked a kindly voice.

I turned to face an older stallion, "Why does everypone keep asking me that, hermano?"

"I'm afraid we're all lost, but you seem the most lost of all. Why not come in?" he gestured for me to enter and so I did. It was an emporium for sweets and delights that would make any kitty's mouth water. And mine was. I took off my hat and held it to my chest, feeling it against my chest plume. The old stallion drew me in deeper.

There were clocks on the wall but they were all made of candy. Yet they ticked on. One looked oddly familiar, like a cat. The purple one I had seen earlier? I was leaning in and the old stallion grabbed me, "My name is Chronos. I'm afraid I've lost track of time. So I have resigned myself to making candy instead. It keeps things moving around here."

Candy equals time here. Alright. Was the kitty clock further away than before? "Would you like a sample?" he asked me, holding up a chunk of what could be chocolate.

I backed away, toward the wall with clocks. "Um, no thanks." I bit my lip, and he held up more candy, "But I insist" I was still shaking my head when I reached behind me, thinking I'd come to a dead end, the wall. Instead I was caught by a cat.

"My, we meet again." I looked up at him. "Call me Chess," he smiled smoothly, something I could get on board with. "Watch out!" he yelled and I swooped, narrowly avoiding my death by train.

"Where are we?" I spun around, realizing we were on a train platform. A lantern was aglow with a flickering flame. The last train had left the station and everything outside the radius of the lamp was dark.

"The train of thought," smiled Chess, "Platform 9 and ¾."

"Fancy that," I nodded.

"The next thot comes in, oh, say, now?" the cat shoved me and when I turned my head, instead of a train there was an oncoming rabbit's foot!

"What now?" cried the White Rabbit.

"Rabbit's foot for good luck?" I questioned him as I set him upright by his left foot.

"That's my unlucky foot." he scowled at me, "Keeps me from getting places on time if you ask me."

"Everypony seems to have lost track of time around here." I told him. Patting him on the head to his great dismay and embarrassment, I asked, "Need some help fella?"

"Who's asking?" he looked up at me, daring me to point out that everyone asks who I am around here.

"The friend you need." I smiled, loving that line.

"A friend indeed." he harrumphed. "Well, if you must, right this way. I'm sure I'll get somewhere on time with you tagging along." he sarcastically said, and threw up his hands.

"I'm sure we'll get somewhere indeed," I looked over my shoulder, feeling as though I still had Chess along for the ride.

(So there's that. I rather enjoy everything Wonderland and since it's meant to be trippy anyway, I thought a bunch of radiation freaks would like it too. You'll find out what's going on soon enough but for now, hope you enjoyed the madness. ;)

Brohoof /)