My Little Pony: Friendship is a Bizarre Adventure

Part 4: ~ Diamond is Charitable ~

Episode VI: Obessive Compulsions, Love Is A Poison

Night fell over Morioh Town, and most houses had fallen asleep, the Higashikata household had not. Josuke stared Rarity down best he could. She matched it with a simple smirk.

"Don't you hide it from me, darling. What'd it say?~"

"That you should mind your own business?"

"Would mind yours if someone gave me a letter like that?"

"Yes."

"Josuke, just tell me! I'm metaphorically dying for details!"

"It's just a normal confession letter, don't exactly know how to respond to it."

Rarity scoffed as Tomoko walked by them and scoffed with her.

"Oh-puh, kff! As if!" "Oh-puh, kff! Yeah right!"

"Like you two would know anything about this stuff!"

Tomoko gasped.

"You do exist in my living room, playing my video games, with my television. Right? I'll have you know that you were made out of love and not lust!"

Rarity flipped her hair back.

"Don't underestimate my knowledge, Josuke. Now cough it up! We want the juicy bits!"

Josuke leaned back as the two began to advance towards him.

"H-Hold up! This is really nothing big! Highschool relationships come and go like ships at a dock!"

Tomoko shook her head.

"This is the first time I've ever seen you, read, one AND keep it! Look, he's holding it so tightly too!"

Rarity grinned brightly.

"This is my specialty, dear, and we already spend so much time together! Not like I have a group to gossip and conspire with! Except Ms. Tomoko-"

"Tell me all the details, this boy wants me to have an early heart attack with the way he cones back home sometimes."

"Y'know you can't escape, it's no use!"

Outside in the dark of the night, peeping from cover, Meuda smiled softly.

"He kept it... He, read it...! What do you think?"

She held up a severed head of a student. She only nodded and placed it back in her schoolbag.

"Even you think so... We were meant to be..."

Tomoko looked to the window and raised a brow.

"Huh? Is there something...?"

This gave Josuke his escape, he dove for his opening and ran out of the room. Tomoko and Rarity chased him around the house. Meuda, let out a heavy sigh as she carefully made her way out of the bushes. The next day after school, Okuyasu and Senset walked with Josuke and Rarity. Okuyasu looked down at his feet.

"So... Hazamada didn't even know the guy's name?"

Rarity shook her head.

"When he came to and began to speak, all he had known was a voice. He didn't know of any Octavia either."

Senset clenched her fists.

"Which means, he knew less than we did... There'd be no point in further interrogation or torture to get something that isn't there."

Josuke sighed and looked to the sky.

"What he said though still bothers me, or well, the fact Ms. Dash confirmed it. That guy wants Mr. Jotaro and all of us put of town, because as Stand Users, we're naturally bound to one another. Morioh is a small town, we're gonna bump into the electrical dude and that cello person at sometime."

Okuyasu glanced to the side.

"Oh! It's Koichi, he looks kinda nervous though."

Josuke opened his mouth to greet his friend, but everyone fell silent as a girl with midnight black hair sat next to him. Josuke and Rarity were pulled behind a wall by the Nijimura's. The two siblings gasped and whispered.

"Sis, do you believe it?! Is that real over there!?"

"It is! Ain't that, Yukako Yamagashi? She's as quiet and closed off as it gets! I swear she doesn't have a functioning heart sometimes but, she's emoting with Koichi!"

Josuke peeked out from behind the wall.

"I didn't know you two were into this."

Okuyasu looked up at Josuke.

"We still watch romance drama's when we can. This could be one right in the making!"

Rarity raised a brow at the sight.

"I truly am happy for our dear, but I want to see this Yukako for myself, let's get closer!"

They snuck best they could, and managed to get within hearing distance. Koichi responded to a question they had missed.

"N-No... I don't feel uncomfortable, just thinking to myself. Like, why would you call me of all people out here? If it's for notes, I'm not actually good at taking them, and my handwriting needs a bit of work. I kinda am in a shortage for money, so that's out, is this about switching cleaning duties?"

Senset rolled her eyes and pounded the tree they his behind, unaware of Rarity's own han hand being there.

"Goddammit, you oblivious midget!"

"Gah! Be careful!"

Yukako sighed.

"N-No. It's nothing to do with that, Koichi."

Koichi drank from his cola and gave her a puzzled look.

"Mhn. Then uh, what is it about?"

"Koichi... I'll go out and say it. I like you!"

"Huh?!" "WHAT THE HE-"

Rarity covered Okuyasu's mouth and shushed him.

"Okuyasu, dear! We've got to keep ourselves quiet, we don't want to ruin this perfect moment! Ooh!~ Just look at them, it's a match you see in fairytales!"

Senset was too shocked to say anything as Josuke grinned. Koichi himself couldn't believe this. He had thought Yukako was far out of his league, but here she was professing her love for him! This was GREAT!

"I-I heard you right? D-Did you jus-"

"I said I really like you, Koichi! I... Everyday, I have these thoughts about you. That I'm not good enough. That you've become so mature. That... You probably already are dating Rarity..."

Rarity yelled out.

"HE'S NO- mmhp!?"

Josuke covered her mouth.

"Hold up, you gotta stay incognito!"

"Ri-Right... Okuyasu, are you crying?"

Waterfalls fell from Okuyasu's eyes as he shook.

"D-Dammit! I'm so happy but sad, why don't a girl tell me things like this?! Rarity, I'm not too ugly, am I?!"

"Shhh!~ You're far from the worst I've seen, but you should follow after your sister's example! Look how she's taking the news!"

Rarity motioned to a sobbing Senset who poured her silent heart out to Josuke. She shoved her face in his chest to keep from screaming. Rarity looked ahead.

"Never mind, you're all a bunch of hopeless romantics."

Koichi coughed and smiled.

"N-No it's nothing like that! She's more like my babysitter if anything!"

Yukako held her breath.

"Then it's, Sunset, isn't it?"

"Oh no! S-She's too tough for me! I like her, but we wouldn't be good with each other."

Senset began to nuzzle into Josuke's chest as he listened to her muffled wails.

"(AM I TOO SCARY?! AM I NOT FEMININE ENOUGH!? WHY DO ALL THE GUYS RUN FROM ME?!)"

"Se-Senset..."

Josuke looked to Rarity for help, but saw she was busy enough consoling Okuyasu. He groaned and hugged her.

"Geez, it's cause no one but me is masochistic enough to stick around you. I mean, you can be cute when you want to be."

She pulled back with a sniffle.

"Y-You really mean that?"

"Well I said it didn'-"

"Shut the fuck up they're talking again!"

She closed his mouth and paid full attention to them as Josuke rolled his eyes. Yukako smiled.

"Then... You... Do you, like me?"

Okuyasu grinned and punched the air.

"Go for it, Koichi! Do it man!"

Rarity's eyes grew wide.

"Come on now, darling, you can do this!"

Senset shook Josuke violently as she began to bounce.

"If he doesn't answer soon, I'm going to flip that entire table into the stratosphere!"

Josuke still had his mouth closed from Senset's hand. Koichi rubbed his cheek and looked down.

"I... Well... This is all so sudden."

Yukako frowned.

"Do you, hate me, Koichi?"

Okuyasu and Rarity fell back.

"Huh? Hate? It'd make sense to say dislike or reject but, hate?"

"Such a strong turn... Why would she go that route so soon?"

Koichi shook his head as he shared similar thoughts.

"N-No! Not at all! This is all so sudden that I-"

Yukako stared him down.

"Do you like me, then? Or not."

"I can't say yet for sure, just-"

She slammed a fist on the table and knocked her cup of coffee over. She shrieked like a banshee as her hair flailed around wildly.

"WELL?! WHICH IS IT THEN?! DO YOU LOVE ME OR HATE ME!? DO YOU?! ITS'S ONE OR THE OTHER, PICK ONE, THAT SIMPLE! AIE! YOU MADE ME SPILL MY COFFEE! ah! I..."

She took a step back as she saw Koichi's terrified expression.

"I'm sorry... I got carried away, I'll... I'll take my leave... I'll see you around."

The group in hiding all looked to each other. Josuke and Senset sucked their teeth.

"Tch! Just GREAT! That's it, Koichi officially attracts the weirdest people. And of all weirdos... You can confirm for me, can ya, Senset?"

She nodded as she blinked to turn her Stand off.

"Stand Name, [Love Deluxe]. It's only made of her hair but, it can do crazy things due to her own mental strength, despite her clear unstable nature. Insane range and strong enough to break down a large house. I mean, I could get into statistics and numbers but, how many of you would get all that?"

No one raised their hand.

"Exactly. She can control someone using their scalp, as long as they have their own hair. Since it's a Stand, her hair can hurt you guys, but as it manifests within her hair, normal people can see it act... If they're perceptive enough."

Rarity then raised a brow.

"How do you know the name of her Stand but never said mine?"

"She gave herself the name in February when she was struck in the chest by the Arrow. You didn't think of one until yesterday, I only receive information that exists around whatever is in my sight."

Koichi sipped from his cola, but spat out a wad of hair.

"Wh-Where'd all this hair come from?! How'd it get in my drink!?"

Senset shook her head.

"It's not even a simple matter of intimidation or anything... She really wants Koichi, and that's a big problem with someone of her personality."

Tomorrow, the group met at the pool after school, Koichi wore a knitted sweater and a terrified face.

"Guys... I got a feeling so complicated... Like, this started out a dream come true, where'd it go wrong?"

Okuyasu nodded.

"I feel you, I really feel it, I feel your feeling deeply."

"What do I do!? J-Josuke! You're popular with girls!"

Josuke held his hands up.

"Shit man, I forget like, half of their names! I mean, it's not like I can read their minds or anything! The only ones here I like are problematic anyways!"

Koichi looked to Senset.

"Senset! You can do that!"

"Koichi, I gain a level of omnipotence upon whatever is in [All Seeing Eye]'s line of vision. How bad could it have gotten?"

Koichi motioned to his sweater.

"Yukako knitted THIS all night for me!"

Rarity inspected the sweater and whistled.

"Meuda has better weaving, but this is quite impressive, it even fits your shoulders!"

"E-Exactly! How the heck did she get my size!? I don't ever remember her measuring me!"

"When you bring that up... It is a good question, considering your unique body type."

"You can just say, short."

"That's just rude, darling, and I am never rude!"

Senset scoffed and smirked smugly as Rarity glared at her. Koichi then took out a paper.

"I can't stop thinking about this situation, look at this!"

It was a English test paper with a low score of sixteen out of a hundred. Okuyasu scratched his head.

"Aiiieeee... That's even worse than mine, and I got a thirty two."

Senset then glared at him.

"You told me you got a fifty eight! Where did all my tutoring go!?"

"Ah! S-Sis wait, this is about Koichi now, not me!"

Senset began to strangle Okuyasu.

"I've half a mind to drown you in the pool right now!"

"Aghk! Agck! Guah!"

He tapped her shoulder and she released him as she turned back to Koichi.

"Ugh, whatever, Koichi you never make below sixty anyways."

Koichi folded up the paper and groaned.

"I know... I can think at all with Yukako involved, she tried to feed me a lovers special lunchbox after she gave me this! If it weren't for the class president, I don't what would have happened."

"Oh, you were cleaning up the chemistry lab! Eh, fuck that bitch, she gossips about everything."

"Tha-That's not the point! I need help with this! Ca-Can't you guys do anything?!"

Okuyasu cracked his knuckles as Senset rolled her neck and shoulders with a series of pops. Koichi and Rarity waved their hands at them.

"My Word! Is violence all you two know?!"

"Not that kind of anything! I don't want to hurt anyone!"

Josuke then snapped his fingers.

"Okay... Here's what you do, just be the biggest piece of shit so she'll not like you. Just do it around her. That way, you make her think you're not worth the time, and if you do it smartly, no one else would have to know."

"Th-That sounds unnecessary! This all happened because I wasn't clear. I-I'll just go and be straight with her."

Josuke and Senset shook their heads.

"Nope, bad idea." "Nah, you'll get nowhere."

Rarity rolled her eyes.

"Oh-puh, kff, you two! How could that be such a bad plan? Being forward, although a bit unrefined, is one of the more efficient ways to do things!"

Josuke nodded.

"You're exactly right, Rarity, it does work well... On normal, rational thinking, non-obsessive people. All things each of us know, Yukako Yamagashi, isn't."

Senset folded her arms with a sigh.

"It's as he said. Yukako, is the type to live in her own world, and not listen to any reason that doesn't follow the rules or goals of that world. Being forward would just fly right past her."

Koichi shook in great anxiety. He mentally swore this would drive him insane. Okuyasu caught his breath and exclaimed.

"Hey!~ I get what you're saying now, Josuke! That's pretty smart, I'd a thought Senset came up with it!"

Senset rolled her eyes.

"I am without a doubt the smartest person in the group, but give them some credit."

Josuke then continued.

"Look here, Koichi. It's simple. Girls usually don't like, momma boys, or guys with bad hygiene."

Rarity spoke up next.

"Or those with a poor work ethic and lazy attitude! No one likes a sloth."

Okuyasu caught on and blurted out.

"Ah! And pettiness! Do real selfish things, like steal pencils and shit! And go around bragging about it!"

Sensetthen pointed to Josuke and Rarity.

"Yo! He should evidence on him! Okay, Josuke, go grab some of your mom's underwear, Rarity go make some of your own and hand em to Koichi! Yukako'all hate him for going after other girls!"

The two Diamonds glanced at each other with slight disgust.

"Fuck! That! I'm not going to get killed over something so strange!"

"I do believe this just got incredibly uncomfortable, darling."

"Still, maybe if you say you're gay, Koichi? She'll probably be in shock!"

Koichi blinked then fell to the ground trembling.

"It's hopeless... I'm done for... The end is nigh..."

His friends all looked at each other and sighed collectively. Rarity placed a hand on Koichi's head.

"We'll try what we can, dear. We'll pretend to gossip bad things, and all you have to do is confirm them to her alone. Does that work?"

He nodded slowly as he silently sat there in the fetal position.

"GREAT. Now then... I think Koichi is goingto be here awhile so-"

Okuyasu interrupted her.

"All for gossiping and not watching Koichi as he goes through a mental breakdown say not it!"

"Not it!" "Not it! "Not it!"

Rarity alone blinked then opened her mouth.

"Bu-I-You?! Oh-puh, kff! Some friends you all are! I, Rarity, volunteer to look after Koichi!"

Senset smiled brightly.

"Perfect!~ C'mon guys, let's go!"

The three ran off as Rarity realized that Koichi was in his own world, unaware and seemingly unable to wake up to reality.

"Oh I should've said not it after all..."

Yukako approached the class president, who had thrown the trash incinerator.

"Excuse me. Will you, stop, fooling around with my Koichi?"

"... Huh? Yamagashi-san, I don't quite understand..."

"Pretending, acting oblivious, those are the traits of a thief. I can smell a thief a mile away!"

"What're you on about...?!"

"Listen. If you come close to or even touch, my Koichi, ever again. I'll make you suffer."

Yukako narrowed her eyes at the girl, then turned to leave.

"H-Hold it! Who do you think you are, accusing me of something so ludicrous! Koichi Hirose, right? Like I'd give that midget the time of day! You'd better respect your upperclassmen, you bitch!"

Yukako kept walking, but the president stopped as she felt a sudden sting.

"Uhn! U-Uh... Well! That girl's crazy, I'll tell the whole school about this!"

She took a step forward, but felt herself be pulled back. She looked back to an open incinerator, but nothing else. She saw a line of fire that lead to her. Something was, wrong. She pulled a lock of hair in front of her face and found it on fire. Her hair had been set ablaze.

"A-AIIIEEEE! ! ! W-WATER! I NEED, WATER!"

She ran for the buckets used for mopping, but felt her ankles be tied. She opened her mouth to scream, but something held her tongue and throat tightly. Then, in an instant, it was all cut away. She felt the cool water hit her and fire finally be put out.

"Are you okay?"

The president looked up to Meuda who offered her a glove covered hand. She took it and was pulled to her feet.

"Th-Thank god! I don't know how, but that ugly fucking creep Yukako, nearly burnt my hair to ashes! I'm going to make sure she'll pay for this!"

"... You..."

"Huh?"

Meuda held up a love letter, one for Josuke.

"You... Were planning on burning this?"

"D-Don't be stupid! What're you doing, going through my clothes like that?!"

"Were you planning on... Giving it to him?"

"H-Hey! Let go of me! I-I'm apart of a rich family! They'll hear about this!"

"No. They won't."

Meuda pushed the girl into the incinerator and closed it. She tried to scream loudly as the flames ate away at her flesh, but she couldn't speak. Meuda, held her hand out as an ethereal one dropped the class president's throat, right onto her palm. It didn't bleed at all. She threw it away, then the gloves, and whistled. Josuke, Okuyasu, and Senset all walked by her. Josuke turned to her and waved as the Nijimura's ran ahead.

"Ah! Meuda! We heard yelling over here, is everything alright?"

She nodded with a smile as the class president frantically pounded away at the door. Her fists however, had already fallen off from the heat and a strange blade that seamlessly severed them.

"Yes. Everything is fine. Yukako, went that way, she had gotten into a argument over something. Thankfully, they both decided to walk away before the fire got too hot."

She looked back at the incinerator with a small giggle, then down to her feet.

"Did you... N-No. Never mind, it was in pieces."

"I uh, I read your letter. What little there was and.. How about Sunday?"

"...! Yes...! That'd be... Perfect...!"

The class president needed to tell them, to warn them, but there was nothing she could do. Josuke smiled and ran off to catch up with his friends. Meuda sat on the ground, incessantly giggling as she opened her bag to the severed head. The head, looked up at her.

"M-Meuda... Please... Let me, go..."

"Did you hear?! Sunday! That's only three, agonizing, days away! This is truly the best!"

"I won't tell anyone... Just put me back on my body..."

"I have to think though, where to go, what to say, will he remember way back when...? I'll never forget what he did for me."

"I'll even bring you subjects or victim-"

The head shrunk back at the glare she received and paled at the tone.

"Saki... Are you saying you're a victim? Are you calling me something bad?"

"No! No! I, I meant volunteers! Y-You've been so good to me!"

"..."

"Letting me keep my body and skin, even my nervous system and internal organs, you're a great soon to be doctor!"

"..."

"Any life in your hands would be guranteed safety! They'd never be in danger with you around! You're so reliable!"

"..."

"The greatest surgeon! It'd be a dream just to be operated in by you!"

"... You're right."

"I-I am?"

"Which is why reality is cruel and cold."

Meuda, tossed Saki in the incinerator and locked the door.

"Killing, is my least favorite thing to do, but it is still one of my favorite things... My Josuke, I'll never kill you... I'll make sure to preserve you, forever..."

She smiled as several arms, each with a different surgical tool in hand, surrounded her. She'd have to get a new assistant now, preferably one that understood basics anatomy. Maybe an anthropologist even. She loved meeting new people. As students began to leave the school, Yukako stopped as she heard something interesting.

"Koichi Hirose?! Him!? Nooo!~"

Josuke acted shocked as Okuyasu pulled him close.

"Not so loud! Listen, I don't wanna make him sound like a bad guy, but he bragged all period to me how he did it!"

"Stealing things like that? No shame man, I can't believe I've got to use the locks on my windows now!"

"Don't even get me started on the cheating! He tried to copy off of my test today, we both almost got in trouble! He didn't even care if he brought me down with him, he's so petty!"

Senset strolled up to them.

"Hey, I heard you both, that friend of yours is something else! I thought Koichi was a nice guy, but he's been asking for my perfume! I heard it cause he's too lazy to just wash! He even made a grab for me, I almost had to slap him! I can't believe I let him worm his way into my heart!"

Josuke gasped.

"Really?~ What a shock! I'm going to stop hanging out with him!"

Okuyasu nodded.

"Same here! No way I need to be around that kind of trouble!"

Senset shook her head.

"I feel so bad for his parents! He won't amount to anything, this is sadly what may be his full potential."

They all looked in Yukako's direction. She hadn't even glanced their way, but stood there the whole time, listening. She walked away as in a few seconds. Okuyasu exhaled.

"She's the absolute worst..."

Senset nodded.

"Yeah... I'm starting to think this wasn't a good idea."

Josuke shrugged.

"All we can really do is wait for the results. Puhkff, I'm glad I'm not in this situation."

Koichi put on his Lucky Land pajamas. He had actually enjoyed the series after learning it through Hazamada, but he was simply too tired to think about it now. Rarity had rode him home on his own bike. He had just enough energy to get to bed. As he closed his eyes, he swore he saw Yukako again, descending from the light that soon dimmed between his eyelids. He heard a thump on the window next to his bed. His eyes shot open to Yukako and her hair that enveloped him. Like a flycaught in a web, Koichi couldn't do anything, but await his fate.