Sirius and Remus were still stuck together. It was getting dark out. Remus started crying, trying to pull away. Sirius just laughed, calling it a sticky situation. "You don't understand! We have to go to Slughorn!" Remus began shaking, trying to pull his own skin off before the sun set but it was too late. The moon came out. Remus began transforming. Sirius's laughter turned to screams as his small friend grew and grew and become a bloodthirsty monster. Remus howled, twisting around, long teeth driving down into Sirius's neck, blood spurting across Remus's face. He inhaled the delicious scent and then ripped Sirius's neck out-
"NO-MERLIN-PLEASE-NO!" Remus screamed as he thrashed, kicking and fighting against the blanket around him. "NO! NO! NO!"
"What the heck?"
"How come I can hear him?"
Lights came on in the dorm and then Sirius was kneeling next to Remus's bed, looking under. "Remus?"
"No-please-please-" Remus sobbed, still quite out of it. "I said so... I told you... I told you!"
"Yeah, you did. It's okay. Come on." Sirius reached a hand out, but Remus pulled away, fear flashing through him that they'd be glued together again and then he'd transform. "It's okay," Sirius said again, calmly.
"You're supposed to sleep in your bed!" Now Spinnet was crouched down, glaring at Remus. "We need both your curtains absorbing the sound and ours, otherwise we still hear you!"
"Shut up," James snarled.
Sirius pulled his hand away and then lay down on the floor. "Are you all right?" Remus shrugged, cheeks burning as reality came back to him. He had done it again... "Do you want to stay under there?"
Yes, he thought, however if he had another nightmare it would just end poorly. "N... no..." He began pushing himself out from under the bed, still clutching his blanket. Sirius took hold of his arm to help him, and Remus flinched. He quickly let go. Remus felt awful his friend had noticed the involuntary reaction. He wanted to explain why, but of course he couldn't. "I'm s-sorry," he whispered to Spinnet and Struthers.
"What's the point of the spells if you go'n do that?!" Spinnet demanded, nearly in his face. "What kind of freak sleeps under the bed anyway?!"
"Call him that again, you'll be pooping out your teeth for a week," warned Sirius.
"I f-f-forgot," Remus whimpered, wrapping the blanket around himself. He could see the moon through the split in the curtains, so full and round. Less than twenty-four hours. He edged away from the window. "It won't happen again."
"Better not." Spinnet stormed back to his bed, muttering to himself.
"You sure you're all right?" Struthers asked and Remus nodded. "Okay. Um. You know. I'm not-not mad about it or anything, really, just worried."
"Thank you," Remus forced out. He didn't like that they talked to him, he wished they'd all just go to bed, so he could disappear under his covers to try and forget this. Struthers went to bed, then Peter and James, and finally Sirius. Why does he always linger? Remus closed his curtains, curling up on his bed, wishing he hadn't forgotten to properly go to bed the night before. No... it wasn't so much had had forgotten, he just preferred being under his bed. He'd have to remember next time not to do that. Be more careful.
()
Due to the nightmares that persisted all night (none that caused screaming though) he was absolutely exhausted on Saturday. He slept through breakfast, only getting up when Peter shook him awake partway through the morning, telling him McGonagall needed to talk to them. He threw on clothes and followed Pete down to McGonagall's office, where James and Sirius were waiting. Remus rubbed his eyes sleepily as they traipsed through the door.
McGonagall wanted to talk to them about the sticking solution incident. Remus didn't want to take control of the situation, too tired to start crying again, and was relieved when Sirius talked instead. He said the same things Remus said before: That he and James were tossing a ball, it went out the window, Sirius, Peter, and Remus went to go look for the ball, and then someone threw the sticking solution out the window at them.
"We didn't see who did it," Sirius finished.
"You have no idea who could have done this?" McGonagall inquired.
"No, Professor," Sirius said, wide-eyed and innocent. Remus marveled over the fact Sirius actually managed to pull the look off, though McGonagall definitely didn't believe him.
"Mr. Potter, did you see anything?"
James folded his hands on his laps, smiling. "No, ma'am. I was watching out the window and when it happened I hurried down to see if I could help them. I never saw who did it."
"And someone else did this," McGonagall said, eyes mostly on Remus who began squirming. He was far too tired for this. "The four of you weren't messing around with the solution yourself?"
"Of course not, Professor!" Sirius exclaimed; James and Peter nodded. "Besides, if we were doing that, we'd have picked someone out to put the blame on."
McGonagall adjusted her glasses and sighed. "Nobody seems to have seen anything, so there isn't much I can do. There's no evidence of who has done this. I'll keep looking into it. If you find out anything please let me know."
"Yes, Professor!" all four chorused, and left her office, James and Sirius grinning at not being in trouble.
"Got away with it!" James whispered as he put his hand out for Remus to high five him which he did without any kind of energy. It made a really pathetic sound. "Hey, you okay? You look really bad."
Remus stuffed his hands in his pockets "Mum's sick again," he said, finding it easier every time he used that lie. "Just worried."
"Is that why you had a nightmare again last night?" Pete asked.
"Y-yeah... I think... I might go visit her today..." Remus answered, trying his best to sound concerned. "Just overnight."
"If there's anything we can do..." James gave Remus an encouraging, friendly look.
Remus smiled. "Thanks."
()
He hadn't really had a chance to talk to Lily since the incident after Potions on Thursday, and in fact suspected she was angry at him for what transpired. She had been a little distant Thursday and Friday at study group though not overtly, so Remus wasn't sure. So at lunch Remus sought out Lily, asking if he could sit with her. For a terrifying, heart-stopping second he thought she might say no. She looked like she was considering it. But then she scooted down a little, so he could slide onto the bench next to her. Lily went back to her conversation with Colgate and Inkwood, about some sort of drama going on with some third year girls. Then when she finished with that, she turned to Remus who had been eating in silence the whole time, giving him a 'well?' look.
"Are you m-mad at me?" he asked. Colgate and Inkwood began giggling at that, and he scowled a little, wishing they weren't there.
"No. I'm furious with your friends, though. They're always bullying Severus. I saw him a little bit ago. He told me what they did this morning. Did you have anything to do with that?"
Remus quickly shook his head. "I don't even kn-know they did anything this morning."
"They sent him-" Lily stopped, looking rather distressed, dropping her voice so she could whisper. "They sent him a bottle of shampoo with stupid instructions!" Remus had to fight to hold back a chuckle and the weird sort of grunty sound that came out did give her a suspicious pause. "It was very mean," she added, in case he was even considering laughing.
"I had no idea," he promised, keeping his face as serious as he could. "But-you know, Th-Thursday, he just started-he started that, we weren't doing anything. He just started complaining at us!"
Lily looked down the table at James and Sirius who were currently cupping their hands under their armpits, making farting sounds while Peter cheered them on as they got louder and louder. "Those two are never not up to something. And that's no reason to send him what they did today."
"I agree w-with that. I'm just meaning..." Remus frowned, too tired to go through this right now, but he didn't want to go off to the full moon with this worrying him. "I d-don't want to make this-you know, I just want to... I don't want you to be mad at me because of them. You're both my friends. I-I don't get mad at you for what Snape does."
"Severus hasn't done anything!" Lily immediately went to his defense.
He called me disease-ridden and humiliated me in front of the entire Potions class, Remus thought rather bitterly, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to make this an even bigger argument. He needed to keep it bottled down, didn't want to fight. "I just wanted to make sure. That you weren't, I mean. Mad at me."
"I'm not." Lily finally smiled at him, and he smiled back. "I s'pose it's too much to ask you to get them to stop bullying him though?"
"They pretty much do what they want," he said. She stuck her lower lip out a bit. He felt it was probably poking the bear but he had to ask, "Could you g-get him to stop calling me Loopy?"
Lily looked away, cheeks going pink. "Point taken."
"Look, I-don't know why you're friends with him and I know you don't know why I'm friends with them but-"
"You're my friend and that's what important," Lily cut him off and grabbed his hand. "I guess I was acting dumb earlier, being mad at you."
"So you were mad! I thought you were."
She bowed her head. "A little. I'm sorry."
Remus couldn't help but feel hurt that she had been and she had lied about it. It made him a bit paranoid that she would get mad at him again for what his friends did, and hoped that that wasn't the case. "It's okay," he said, aware of the irony that he was now lying to her. Or should he tell the truth? Was he doing this wrong? Was he wrong to be upset at her? Maybe I'll ask Fawley on Tuesday. I really need help with this sort of thing. He thought he'd like to also talk to McGonagall, but he thought that might be too much. Maybe I could talk to one of the ghosts. Myrtle-or Theodore, they're closer to my own age... He suspected Myrtle wouldn't be much help with this sort of problem though.
()
That night the moon was covered, and it was cold. Remus curled up naked under one of the blankets, shivering, a few tears in his eyes as he stared at the fireplace. He didn't know if it was a working fireplace or not, worried what might happen if he lit it. He wasn't afraid of the smoke coming in, suffocating him; he was afraid of it going out of the chimney and making people in Hogsmeade suspicious.
Finally he dragged one of the pots in from the kitchen and put some of the blue flames in it, trying to keep warm. Then he got a second blanket from upstairs, but he still shivered, teeth clattering. He considered putting his clothes on however on the off chance enough clouds moved then he'd rip through his clothes. His parents couldn't afford that.
The wind was howling outside, rattling the house, the cold seeping in through the cracks. Remus got a second cooking pot, filling it with blue fire, and then got another pot. He filled that one with regular flames. The blue fire warmed him decently enough, but he was still freezing cold and thought perhaps regular fire would help which it definitely did. He set the three pots by the couch and curled up under the two blankets, trying to get some sleep.
He had nightmares as usual when he was human during a full moon except during one of them he felt pain, actual real pain, searing his arm. He woke up screaming and then saw there was fire. He had fallen off the couch during one nightmare and knocked over all the pots. The blue flames sat innocently on the floor, but the regular one had spread, and his arm had fallen into it. The flames were spreading, too.
"No-NO!" Remus grabbed the blanket, ignoring the pain as best he could, and threw it over the fire then dropped down onto it, rolling across the blanket, killing the flames underneath. "Stupid! I'm so STUPID!" Once they were gone he sat back, inspecting the blistering, burnt skin. "Stupid. So stupid." He felt dizzy from how much it hurt, like he might vomit. He lurched to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet, vision blurring. Once he purged his stomach he knelt down as his arm began throbbing less, as he began healing underneath the bubbles of dead flesh. It itched. And the burnt skin clung to his new one so he had to get rid of it. He pulled himself to the sink, crying out when the cold water hit his arm, watching as his own flesh slid off his body and down the drain. Pain overtook him, and he fell backwards, unconscious.
When he woke up shortly after, his body was pretty much healed though there was still some dead skin. He got back to his feet, shivering hard from laying naked on the kitchen floor, and rinsed the rest of the skin off. Underneath it was pink and new, a hint of scarring that would disappear soon enough.
Remus hurried into the living room and got rid of the blue flames there, then went to the bathroom. There he filled the tub with the blue flames, enough that it warmed the bathroom a fair amount. He tugged the blankets around him, curling up on the floor. "Stupid," he whispered, staring at reflecting blue on the ceiling as he drifted back into a miserable, nightmare-riddled sleep.
()
When Pomfrey came in the morning, she found him at the beginning of the tunnel, sitting just under the Whomping Willow, book propped on his legs, Lumos spell glowing gently. He looked up when she came down, and smiled, getting to his feet. "Too many clouds last night," he said, closing the book, tucking it into his pocket. "I didn't leave the house until after sunrise though."
"You couldn't open the door anyway," she said rather grouchily.
"I don't suppose I can stay."
"Of course not. Come on." She waited for him to argue, looking pleased when he didn't.
They left the tunnel, going across the grounds, Remus shivering in the biting wind. He needed to ask her what to do about the cold at night, nights he didn't transform. He didn't want to confess he had started a fire there though figured asking about the fireplace would be a safe enough bet. Once in the hospital wing, he got changed into pajamas and climbed into the bed, finally feeling warm.
He waited until she brought his breakfast, then cautiously asked about the best way to stay warm on nights like that. Pomfrey seemed a little startled and then frowned, admitting that she wasn't sure; she didn't know a whole lot about the house, just the spells on it. She promised she'd find out, and left him to eat alone.
After a few hours of sleeping he awoke to lunch, and company. Professor McGonagall.
Remus felt exceedingly awkward sitting there with food in his lap while Professor McGonagall sat down in the extra chair. "Go ahead and eat," she said pleasantly. "I came here to talk to you about the house. Poppy said you had some questions about keeping warm; I suppose we hadn't thought to discuss with you what to do during the winter."
"It's n-no big thing, Professor," Remus said, still too anxious to eat.
"Were you able to stay warm last night?"
Remus resisted the urge to rub his arm, where he had been burnt. "Yes, ma'am. I used ice flames in the b-bathtub."
McGonagall nodded, and explained that the fireplace was enchanted for his use. He just needed to light it and he needn't worry about interacting as a wolf; there were sort of barrier spells so he shouldn't be able to get too close. The smoke wouldn't give him away either. Once it went mostly up the chimney it would disappear. McGonagall apologized again for not going over this sooner, and Remus assured her it was fine (he couldn't believe a teacher was apologizing to him like that, though!).
She reached out, resting a hand on his arm. "We've tried to make your time in the house as comfortable as possible."
"It is!" Remus insisted. "It's m-more than I could ever need. I-I wasn't meaning to complain-"
"Of course not!" McGonagall said, squeezing his forearm gently. "If you ever need anything, don't ever feel like you can't come to someone."
Remus wasn't completely sure he believed that, but he nodded.
()
That afternoon back in the house, he lit the fire and grinned at the warmth spreading through the living room. Even when he took off all his clothes and sat on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, he felt fairly warm; a lot warmer than the night before for sure. He did transform, an hour or so after sunset; the wolf ripped through his body, pushing his human mind into the darkness. When he came to in the morning he found the place a lot less gory than usual. He had a deep gash along his side and several shallow scratches, however that was it. He was able to get to his feet and, clutching his side, hobble to the shower to get cleaned up. There were bandages in the medicine cabinet which he pressed to his midriff, wrapping the long gauze around and tying. Not very well, but it was something.
"I'm glad to see you aren't complaining so much this time around," Pomfrey said on their return to the school.
No use arguing, besides not arguing means a better chance of being left here next year, he thought. If the rest of my full moons go as nice as this one, they're bound to accept the idea!
He was very cheered up by that thought, and when he returned to the house that night he was quite hopeful. But in the morning when he came to and found his lower legs ripped to shreds making it near impossible for him to walk, he fell back into depression. He couldn't even get to the bathroom, and had to use some of the destroyed blanket to cover his nudity when Pomfrey showed up. She didn't say anything about his state, just got him to the bathroom to get cleaned off, wrapped up his legs, and helped him back to the castle.
()
Remus slept most the day. He wouldn't be able to make it to the morning classes, and didn't have any in the afternoon, so he just slept and ate and slept and ate, and then finally got dressed at around five-forty-five so he could go to Occlumency. He felt pretty tired still, despite all the sleep he got, going quite slow on his way to the fourth floor. His shins and calves still hurt (one of them still had a bandage wrapped around) so he limped the whole way, taking the stairs as carefully as he could, making sure to take the easy staircases. None of those disappearing ones.
When he got to their 'class'room, he sensed something was off. He wasn't sure what exactly tipped him, but he knew it wasn't just Fawley behind the door. Dumbledore? he wondered, since that was definitely one of the scents drifting into his nose. Frowning, Remus knocked at the door. He heard Fawley call for him, and he went in.
It was, in fact, Dumbledore. He and Fawley were sitting on the purple couch, though Professor Dumbledore stood up as Remus came into the room. "Ah, my dear boy, come in," the headmaster said.
Remus shut the door behind him then took a few ungainly steps forward. "Did something happen?" he asked. Perhaps Dumbledore was just there to see how things were coming along? Or had Fawley told him about what he managed to do the week before, and he wanted to see for himself?
"No, no," Dumbledore said, motioning for Remus to take a seat on the couch. Once he did, Dumbledore conjured up another chair for himself. "Mythana has brought something to my attention and I merely wanted to talk to you. About your father."
Remus shrank back a little, and had a very bad feeling about this.