In light of recent events in canon, this is probably a good time for a small reminder that this fic is very canon divergent at this point! In this universe, Rose was only Rose, Pink Diamond is really dead, and Pearl belonged to White Diamond.

As always, thank you so much for reading and enjoying this AU with me!

White didn't know what she was doing.

She had followed Silver because it seemed like the only thing she could do, even if it felt wrong to be walking away from her Diamond, from the position that had made her so useful to the rebellion. But if going back was definite shattering, then what could she do?

What was she supposed to do? Just go back to base and figure the rest out later, Silver had said. Why later? Why couldn't she figure it out now? White wasn't used to later.

Silver put her in charge of updating Cyan via the communicator, and then carrying the Agate's gem, probably realizing it would be good to give her something to focus on. As they walked the tunnels, White trailed a few steps behind her, holding the gem carefully in her palm and staring down at it for a good five minutes before something occurred to her.

"Agates reform fast."

"What?" Silver turned immediately, projecting before she was even facing White and leaving the word hovering between them.

"Agates reform fast," White repeated, holding up the gem. "Really fast."

"They do? I've never seen one get dissipated, so…"

"Yeah," she confirmed with a nod. "Minutes, not days."

Silver took only a second to process her words, then grabbed the gem. "You don't know how to do the bubble thing, do you?"

"No."

"Me neither. I'm going to run this back to base as fast as I can and then I'll come back for you, okay? Wait right here."

"Alright."

"Don't try and go back."

"I won't." She couldn't, not anymore.

Silver gave her a nod, then took off running.

White stood still as she listened to Silver's footsteps disappear farther into the tunnel system. She'd wait, like she'd said.

"Crimson!" Silver clapped rapidly to get her attention, keeping her hands joined once she'd succeeded.

"Silver?" The red Pearl looked startled by the sudden entrance into the common room. "What's going on? Where's White? Did something happen?"

"She's okay, but I need this gem bubbled!" Silver held up her tightly clasped hands, the Agate pressed between them. "She already tried to reform once on the way here and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep her from coming back."

Crimson yelped as Silver tossed her the gem and quickly wedged it between her hands the same way she had. "Well, I don't know how to bubble it!"

"I thought you'd know where the Crystal Gems are!"

"I don't know where they went after we all left the comms room!" She threw the gem back to Silver. "Try their rooms."

"Oh, wait, there's Yellow," Silver said, rushing to catch the Pearl passing through. "Yellow, here! Bubble this!"

Yellow caught the gem in one hand, wrinkling her nose. "Why do you have an Agate?"

"She's the one that caught Caddy and White. Can you bubble it?"

"I don't know how to do that," she said, mild irritation quickly escalating to panic when the gem began to rise from her hand. She knocked it back in Silver's direction, reaching to her gem to summon.

Silver didn't have time to project anything, just grabbed for the gem and shoved it down to the ground, covering it with both hands.

Yellow waited, expecting the Agate would be able to reform anyway, but that didn't seem to be the case. "You should find Pearl or somebody," she commented.

"I know, I know. Hold on, I've gotta wait for this to stop."

"You're looking for me?"

"Pearl!" Silver twisted around to see the gem approaching them. "Yes! Can you bubble things?"

"…Yes?" she answered slowly. "Why?"

"Because I don't think we want an Agate running around base?"

"Oh. No, definitely not. That's it there?" Pearl immediately knelt on the floor beside her, sharp eyes locked onto Silver's hands.

"Yeah."

"She's trying to reform?"

Silver nodded. "Stopped now, I think."

"Alright, on the count of three, lift up your hands and I'll bubble the gem. Ready?"

"Ready!"

"One, two, three!"

Silver lifted her hands immediately, while Pearl hurriedly placed one of hers just above the Agate to create a bubble.

"Got it!"

"Yes!" Silver projected slightly bigger than usual. "You're my hero!"

"I wasn't already?" Pearl asked lightly, amusement playing on her lips.

"Now you're even more my hero."

"Aha."

"Thank you," Crimson added sincerely. "I think bubbling might be a skill we need to add to our training regimen."

"We can certainly do that," she replied with a smile as she tapped the top of the bubble lightly. "Anyway, there we go, all taken care of."

"Awesome! I should go back and get White now. Anybody want to come with? She doesn't really have anybody she's close to, so I want to make sure she still feels welcome."

"I'll come," Crimson volunteered. "And I'll go let Aura know we're heading out."

"Thanks."

"Where is White?" Pearl asked as Crimson left.

"Down in the tunnels, I just ran ahead because of the Agate."

"Alright. I'd be happy to join you then, if you think she'd want that."

"Yeah, for sure! Yellow?"

"Chroma and I are working on the warp pad, so I should stay," she replied, putting her swords away. "But Pearl, where did that bubble go?"

Pearl froze. "I…don't know. It wouldn't be able to go back to the temple, not over this distance. Excuse me." She ran off in the direction of the Crystal Gems' rooms.

"What happened?" Silver asked, confused.

"The bubble," Yellow said, mimicking the tapping motion. "When they did that on Earth, it would reappear in the temple where they live."

"Ohhhh." Silver stood up, dusting herself off. "Should we help look for it?"

"I suppose we—"

"Um, Yellow?"

She turned at the sound of Steven's voice, then did a double take as she saw him staring up at the bubble Pearl had just created. It was floating about a foot above his head, steadily following him as he approached. Ory was walking alongside him, the pale white and yellow gem watching the bubble nervously.

"Have you seen Pearl?" Steven asked, only averting his eyes from the bubble for a second. "This just kind of appeared, and it looks like one of hers."

"She was just here, she'll probably be back any second." Yellow stared at the bubbled gem curiously. "Is it following you?"

He nodded, taking a couple of steps back and forth to demonstrate. It remained squarely above his head.

"Hmm." Yellow reached for the bubble carefully. "May I?"

"Sure."

She tugged it down, immediately finding she had to keep hold of it securely to stop it from returning to its position above Steven's head. There was nothing wrong with the bubble itself, so she walked backwards with it carefully, seeing what distance would do. When she released it, it glided smoothly towards Steven again, settling into place above him.

"Is it dangerous?" Ory asked.

"No, no!" Steven said quickly. "It's just that they don't usually work like this."

"Oh. W-Well, maybe we could try to outrun it?" she suggested.

"Yeah, let's try that!"

"I don't think that'll…" Yellow trailed off as the two of them dashed down the length of the hallway, then turned and disappeared down another. "I'm just going to get Pearl back here," she decided.

"Good plan," Silver agreed.

Pearl was already on her way back from her room empty-handed, and she hurried up to Yellow to meet her. "It didn't appear in there, so I'm going to check the rest of the building. Would you mind helping?"

"It's okay, Steven's got it."

"Steven?" She looked relieved. "Oh, alright then. Where did he find it?"

"He didn't, it just appeared and now it's following him."

"Oh. Oh my stars." Pearl's cheeks flushed turquoise. "I suppose that…yes, I see…" She hurried back with Yellow the way she'd come.

As they entered the hallway, they nearly collided with Ory, who was running all out with Steven held in her arms.

"Steven!" Pearl yelped as Ory made a sharp turn. The bubble was still no more than three feet behind them.

Silver saw them coming and easily held out an arm, letting Ory's momentum turn her so they eased to a halt rather than being stopped abruptly. She wobbled a little but managed to keep them all from falling. "Whoa, okay, gotcha. Good try, but I think you might crack Pearl before you manage to outpace that thing."

"S-Sorry," Ory said breathlessly, quickly passing Steven off to Pearl. "I thought it might help."

"It's okay, it was still pretty fun," Steven laughed. "I'm okay, Pearl, I promise."

"I know, you just startled me." She smiled, supporting him with one arm while she lifted her other hand to touch the bubble. It came away easily, allowing her to hold it without attempting to return to its spot. "Though I probably startled you just as badly with this."

"Yeahhh, I wasn't expecting it," he said, smiling. "Who's in there anyway?"

"An Agate that we'll need to decide what to do with," Pearl said, frowning at the gem. "Though I believe that's a discussion for another day."

He nodded. "How come it came to me instead of the temple though?"

"The temple is galaxies away," she answered, embarrassed. "I should have realized that, but it's habit at this point. And with the usual option removed, I suppose it chose another 'home' to go to."

Steven's face lit up. "Me?"

"You."

"Aww!" He squeezed her in a very enthusiastic hug. "You're one hundred percent forgiven for scaring me!"

Pearl laughed a little, blushing. "Sorry. Anyway, I think we can relocate this bubble to our room for the time being; it'll be safe there."

"Alright," Steven agreed. He made no move to jump down, so she just carried him along as she started to walk back down the hall.

"Just give me a few minutes, Silver," she said. "Then I'll be ready to go."

"Okay! I'm going to run and ask Chroma if she wants to come."

"Alright."

"Where are you going?" Steven asked curiously.

"Silver wanted to get a small group together to welcome White back. I thought it would be appropriate for me to go, since…"

"Oh yeah," he said. "You've both run away from White Diamond now."

"Right." Pearl opened the door to the room she shared with Garnet and Amethyst, which was currently empty. "There we are," she said as she gave the bubble a little nudge up towards the ceiling. "Would you mind letting the others know this is here so they aren't surprised?"

"Sure," Steven answered. "But can I go with you first? I want to be part of the welcome party too."

"I'm not sure," she said, hesitating. "It's safest if you stay here."

"But it's just the tunnels, right? Nobody would see me or anything."

"No, I suppose not…" Pearl sighed, looking at his pleading expression. "Alright, yes, you can come with us."

"Yay! Thanks, Pearl!"

"But you have to stay with the group at all times," she warned him.

"I will," he laughed. "That's the whole point of going."

She smiled back. "True. Let's get back to the others."

By the time they did, there was already a small group waiting—Silver, Chroma, Crimson, and even Yellow.

"I thought you were staying," Pearl said.

"I was, but now Chroma's going too, so there's not much point."

"Sorry," Chroma laughed. "Welcoming new Pearls is kind of a tradition. I don't want to miss out if I can help it."

Yellow shrugged, not looking particularly bothered.

"Where's Blue?" Pearl asked curiously.

"Training. She said she'd say hi when we get back."

"Oh, okay." That seemed unusual, but Pearl couldn't fault her for wanting to keep to her schedule. "Are we all ready to go then?"

"All set," Silver confirmed. "Let's go!"

Is this what it's like for everyone else? White wondered. She'd never been without purpose, without some immediate goal in mind. She'd always jumped from one thing to the next, never pausing. If she was with her Diamond, she thought about how she could help the rebellion. If she was helping the rebellion, she thought about how to keep it hidden from her Diamond. Around and around.

And now?

She would help the rebellion still. Help in the way Crimson and Cadmium and everyone else had wanted her to help, but that didn't give her any comfort. She didn't know what they wanted from her, how they could expect her to just stop and exist and settle into a life she had considered only a kind fantasy that other Pearls had created for her.

She was White Diamond's Pearl, and she wasn't meant to live. That was all she knew of herself.

Silver had told her not to run. That was fine, but what was she meant to do instead? This was all so sudden.

White sat down slowly, beginning to understand why the new recruits always seemed so unsure of themselves.

It felt like a long time before Silver got back, and White kept making circles in her own head, trying to figure out where she was meant to go from here. She was glad when she heard quiet voices, familiar ones even though she spent so little time around them.

"Hi, White!" Silver projected, hurrying forward ahead of the others. "Sorry about leaving you."

"It's fine." White allowed her to help her to her feet. "Why did you bring everyone?"

"It's not everyone," Silver replied with a smile. "Just thought you might like some more friends to come welcome you home."

White nodded, looking at the group. Chroma had joined her, of course, as had Yellow, Crimson, Pearl, and Steven.

"We're really glad you're safe," Crimson spoke up.

Steven nodded, running over to give her a hug. "Congratulations!"

What was she supposed to say to that? Any of this?

"Okay," she tried. It probably wasn't the right response, judging by the varying levels of worry and disappointment on everyone's faces.

"Shall we head back?" Chroma asked gently. "You've had a long day, you should probably rest."

Rest?

"Have you tried sleeping before?" Steven asked.

"No." White wouldn't even know what that was if it wasn't for Cadmium always babbling to her about anything new happening on base.

"It might help," Pearl offered. "It's not something I often partake in myself, but I think some of the others have enjoyed their experiments with it so far."

"Yeah, it's kind of fun!"

"It would at least be worth a try," Crimson agreed.

"Sure." White's throat felt tight.

"For now, we should just take you home, huh?" Silver asked, sympathy shining in her eyes. "Come on."

"Sure."

White barely noticed the time it took to follow the little group back to base. None of them really spoke to her aside from saying things like "I'm glad you're safe." Which was good. White didn't know what she was meant to say back. It wasn't like she knew them, not really. Why had Silver felt the need to bring them anyway?

She followed along obediently even if she didn't understand.

When they got to base, Aura joined them, and she and Chroma and Silver took White aside. They led the way to one of the transient rooms that acted as temporary resting places for Pearls like Sky and Caddy who were still in service.

"I changed the nameplate for you," Aura said softly, pointing.

White.

Her name was written there in dainty, curlicue penmanship like all the others.

"Sorry it couldn't be a new room," Chroma added. "We would've, but we're starting to run out of space."

"If there's anything you need to make it feel more like home, let us know."

White nodded blankly.

"You know how to set the passcode?" Chroma checked.

She nodded again.

"Okay, we'll leave you to it then."

They did, though White could feel their eyes on her as she reached to the panel to set herself an entry code. When the door opened, she went inside, closed it again, and stood frozen in place.

What now?

What now, what now, what now?

Everything was unfamiliar. She'd never used this room, or the similar one next door. She'd never had time. Cadmium and Sky, they were the ones who should have gotten the rooms. They were the ones who were going to get the opportunity to leave, to make a home here like Silver said.

Yet somehow it was White here, alone, and they were still with their Diamonds.

It hit her all of a sudden that they shouldn't have gone back. Silver shouldn't have let them go back. White shouldn't have let them.

Her Diamond would be angry. Their Diamonds too, probably.

Sky and Caddy were the ones everyone needed to be worried about, not White. But they'd always been careful, so White hoped…

Something. She didn't know. She'd spent her whole life—what little she'd had of it—trying to keep her distance from them. They only shared a position, that was all.

But they'd fought for her all the same, fought for the freedom she refused to hope for herself. She didn't want them to get shattered for that.

What now?

They had a plan if things got bad. The plan was mostly "run as fast and as far away as you can" but it still gave Sky some reassurance as they approached the meeting hall.

"Come in with me, Pearl," Blue Diamond said as they approached the doors.

"Yes, my Diamond."

Sky could hear Caddy receiving the same instruction, though Yellow Diamond's voice was brusque, far more rigid. Her own Diamond was certainly not in the best mood either, but Caddy was in more danger than she was.

We have a plan.

White Diamond had a tendency to be late, and Sky hoped fervently that she wasn't today. That would just make Yellow Diamond even more angry.

Strangely enough, she seemed to be the first to have arrived, awaiting her two fellow Diamonds with a scowl on her face. "Yellow, was it really necessary to call us here at such short notice?"

"Quite necessary," Yellow Diamond replied.

"I'm busy."

"I'm aware." Her voice was cold. "But it's not as if you didn't see this coming. There were always going to be consequences to your carelessness, White."

"My carelessness?" she repeated, offended. "How have I been careless?"

"Perhaps carelessness was the wrong word. I meant incompetence."

White Diamond's eyes flashed angrily and she stood, stepping closer to Yellow Diamond. "Watch your mouth, Yellow."

"Both of you calm down," Blue Diamond said, laying a hand on each of their shoulders. "We have concerns that must be dealt with, White, surely you understand that."

She clicked her tongue impatiently. "Of course I understand; I don't need you two teaming up against me." She retreated, sitting back down and lifting her chin regally. "I would be dealing with the problem now, had you not called me away."

"Dealing with it how?" Yellow Diamond demanded.

"That's none of your concern."

"It's my concern when you've completely lost control of the gems serving you."

"I have not!"

Blue Diamond cleared her throat. "Losing this amount of Pearls in such a short time is…"

"They're not lost," White Diamond snapped. "The projector Pearls clearly just got stolen by those Citrines, and my own was swayed by that traitorous Agate. It's not as if she could make that mess herself."

"It doesn't matter how it happened," Yellow Diamond argued. "The problem is that it's happening at all."

"I'll put a stop to it."

"Will you? Because gems will begin to notice if you don't, White."

"It's been kept quiet. Surely you don't think me that senseless, do you?"

"You've given me very little reason to believe otherwise lately."

"Well, I'm finished with Pearls now," she said coldly. "I will not get another one. The rest of my court will follow suit. Problem solved."

"Don't be rash. We're not even worried about the Pearls," Blue Diamond said. "We're worried about—"

"You ought to be worried about the Pearls," White Diamond interrupted. "And you have no right to lecture me about them when you're so careless with your own. You need to get rid of them quickly or they get led astray. Need I remind you it was your Pearls that tried to escape?"

"That is an entirely different matter," Yellow Diamond said impatiently.

"You're just deluding yourselves."

A hand suddenly reached for Sky, and she barely had any time to realize what was happening before she was lifted into the air in a too-tight grip.

"Put my Pearl down at once!" Blue Diamond shouted.

"You're far too sentimental about these," White Diamond replied, ignoring the demand. "Even in how you design them…" She wrinkled her nose. "And keeping that last one around for thousands of years was clearly the worst mistake between the three of us."

"I will do what I like with my property! I have never interfered with yours, no matter how much I disagreed with your thoughts on the matter!"

"We've been divided on this subject far too long," she argued. "We ought to present a united front."

"United under your opinion, you mean," Blue Diamond snapped. "Give me my Pearl."

"You can just make another one," White told her, carelessly waving her hand. It was all Sky could do to fight the urge to either cling on or try to fight her way out. Caddy was staring up at her, panicky fear written plainly on her face.

"Give her to me." Blue Diamond repeated.

"Put her Pearl down, White," Yellow said angrily. "You've made your point."

"I haven't, actually."

"Then get to it!"

"My point," she said coolly, continuing to gesture with the hand that was holding Sky, "is that you two are the careless ones here. We ought to get rid of Pearls entirely."

"That's ridiculous!" Blue Diamond shouted, and for once Sky was in total agreement with her. "I will not give up this Pearl or any other just because you are scared of them, White!"

"Oh, don't go acting like I'm the unreasonable one! History has proven they can't be trusted, certainly not for as long as you keep them! They're far too easily convinced to—"

"The problem is not the Pearls, the problem is that gems clearly have no qualms about stealing from you, White." Yellow Diamond reached for White Diamond's wrist in an attempt to get her to put Sky down, but she was pushed away impatiently. "They are losing respect for you!"

"I'm tired of your complaints, Yellow! You're hardly any better than she is!"

"And you're so high and mighty? Might I remind you that it was your Pearl who defected all those millennia ago and—"

"So I know better than anyone how to handle this!"

"You've done nothing to prove it."

"Well, I'm not shattered, am I?"

Oh stars. Oh stars, this was not going to end well. Sky could see Caddy looking up at her anxiously, ready to take action, but Sky shook her head just slightly. Wait it out. We have to try and wait it out. If we act now, we're shattered for sure.

Heavy silence had settled in the room after White Diamond's words, but she was the only one who seemed not to realize it. "You know I'm right," she continued. "By all means, keep your Pearls." She tossed Sky aside, and she hit the floor hard, barely managing to shield her gem from impact.

"I intend to," Blue Diamond said sharply. "Pearl, stand up. Are you damaged?"

"N-N-No, my Diamond." Stop stuttering, Sky told herself as she pushed herself unevenly to her feet, doing her best not to stumble. Stay calm. I have to stay calm. But she could feel herself trembling all the same, afraid of White Diamond's piercing eyes, the way she watched Sky so closely as soon as she spoke.

She wanted to look at Caddy. She wanted to cry. She wanted to start running. But she steeled herself, gave all her attention to her Diamond.

Blue Diamond gazed down at her for a moment, looking for any sign of injury. "Good," she said after a moment. "Go and stand near the wall, out of the way. I have no desire to replace you so soon."

Did she mean that as a comfort? Sky still felt like White Diamond's fingers were going to snap her in two.

"Pathetic," White Diamond muttered as Sky hurried to obey. "You get too attached to things, Blue."

"Yet your own lack of involvement seems to have served you poorly."

"Say that all you want," she snapped. "But don't come crying to me when one of you ends up like Pink!"

"Enough!" Yellow Diamond shouted, and Sky and Caddy both flinched far more than White Diamond did.

"No! It is not enough!" White got up again, snarling as she stood nose to nose with Yellow Diamond. "I am the only one even trying to protect myself after what happened! You and Blue just sit around moping or pretending it never happened. Well, it did! And if we should learn anything from her death, it's that we do not have the leisure to consider ourselves indestructible! You've fallen for the same words you feed your gems in court, and it's disgraceful."

"If anyone is disgraceful here," Yellow Diamond said loudly, "it's the Diamond with the audacity to throw her loss in our faces like some kind of scare tactic to get her way. Look at what you're doing to Blue!"

"I'm not going to spend my time catering to her like you do!" White Diamond retorted, glancing over at Blue Diamond, whose tears had begun flowing rapidly. "I'm not going to back down just because she's crying, for stars' sake. She misses Pink? Fine. But there is far more to be done than grieve, and she'll have to get it through her head eventually."

Before she could even finish, a familiar wave of blue light swept the room, and Sky felt tears flow immediately from her own eyes in an awful sort of relief. She searched out Caddy, who was clutching at her gem as she cried, eyes locked onto Sky's desperately.

This was wrong, this was all wrong. White Diamond could have easily broken Sky, broken Caddy, broken both of them—or convinced the others to do it. She still might, and Sky ached with the awful, awful possibilities.

But at the same time, the crying helped. It was something, some little thing they were granted so that they didn't stumble and let their real emotions show in front of their Diamonds. It was safe crying, even if they had no choice.

"Oh, will you knock it off already, Blue?" White Diamond only seemed frustrated with the tears that sprung to her eyes. "We don't all need to be as miserable as you."

"Leave her alone," Yellow Diamond told her, one hand coming to rest lightly on Blue Diamond's shoulder as she stood partially in front of her. "You have made your opinions clear."

"I doubt it," she scoffed. "We'll meet tomorrow and it will all be back to usual, everything will be fine, and you can keep on pretending I'm the—"

"White, get out."

"I'm not leaving on my own. Aren't you worried how that will look to our courts?"

"Then shut up until Blue is finished. We don't need to hear any more of your nonsense. Get your gems under control and stop trying to shift the blame."

"I am not—"

"We're finished talking."

"Of course we are." White Diamond narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Do as you please."

Somehow, somehow, it seemed like they'd gotten through the worst of it, Sky thought. The tears were still coming out strong, the wave of emotion not yet fading, but the room's atmosphere settled into tense silence rather than shouted words and big gestures and…

Well, White Diamond was still looking at her and Caddy suspiciously, but at least she wasn't grabbing for them. That was something.

Something in a world of nothing, nothing, nothing, and Sky was scared that next time they wouldn't be so lucky.

I want to go home.