I stood looking out through the doorway with his words egging me on.
"Come on. You know we can't stay here. He's going to catch us, and then what?"
I knew his words were true, but the horrors that existed outside of that door were far worse than anything that could happen to me inside. Staring out at the horizon I could see that nothing was the same as when I entered this place. All of what I had called home before was gone. There was no use dwelling now.
I didn't speak a word to him; instead I turned back and closed the door again, locking us back on the inside. I knew he couldn't open the door himself and he wouldn't leave without me. He was both the warden and a prisoner.
This place wasn't always like this. I didn't always think of leaving. The first few months were difficult, but I pulled through. When I arrived here I was completely alone. This place was a massive empty chamber with only me to populate it. There was enough here to keep me alive: food, water, power, and shelter. But goddamn... I was lonely.
I would sit at the door expecting others to come. "Surely I can't be the only one that's supposed to be here," I would say to myself. To this day I'm not sure if that was true.
To… what day? How many days had passed since that door had first closed behind me? How many… how many… how… many…?
"HE'S GOING TO FIND US, YOU DUMBASS!" His voice cut through me like a knife, interrupting my thoughts at the most inopportune time, like he always did.
"Did you not see what the fuck was out there? If we leave here, we die. End of story." I knew reasoning with him was impossible, but I had to try anyway.
"Reverend Hound can track us down no matter where we are in here! Do you have any idea what he's going to do if he catches us?"
"CATCHES YOU!" I shouted at him. "You are the one who killed. You are the one he's after! You did this!"
"And you were my accomplice," he retorted.
He insisted I was there, that I helped him murder the King, my King. I can't recall exactly where I was or what I was doing, but I could never — would never — do such a thing. How could I be a murderer?
"I need to sit down," I said, sliding down the closest wall.
How could he blame me for this? For something that happened before I was real… or before he was real? Honestly, I'm not sure which.
I still have no idea where he came from, or where any of them came from… where I came from. I was here, alone, for what seemed like months. Maybe it was years. Or have I always been here? Staring at these metallic walls and fluorescent lights?
I remember being alone. I was locked inside; the only way for the door to be opened was from my side of the door. I didn't open the door. But I was no longer alone.
Or was I? Was I ever alone? Or were we together all along? How many of them were there? How… many of me were there?
"Do you really think that we can hide from him forever?" The grating sound of his voice blared at me yet again. "This is hardly a hiding place and Reverend Hound can sniff out a criminal like a bloodhound."
"I guess you're right, we should move somewhere a bit more secluded to throw him off of our trail." For once I agreed with him.
"What kind of guy decides it's a good idea to be a reverend and a sheriff anyway?" He asked.
"I don't know, I don't see anything wrong with it." To be honest it was kind of strange, but I had never questioned it before. It just seemed right knowing he was both a man of god and the law.
We rounded corners, weaved swiftly through doors and crept down corridors; burrowing ourselves deeper into this prison that had once felt like home. For what seemed like hours the only sound I could hear was my own footsteps, and he finally decided to keep his mouth shut for a few minutes. Whether out of fear or common courtesy it was a welcome break.
The silence was deafening. My footsteps sounded like… were they mine or his? As hard as I tried I couldn't concentrate on them. One...two...three... Were we stepping at the same time? Was he walking? Was I?
"How did you kill him anyway?" I finally asked, breaking the uneasy silence.
"We. How did we kill him," he corrected me.
I chose to ignore it and get some shut eye now that we had found a place to rest, but my mind kept wandering back to our argument from earlier. Did he kill the king or did I? I couldn't account for myself during that time frame, but surely I would have remembered doing something so unforgivable. Wouldn't I?
I jolted awake to his ramblings, yet again. "We need to move, now!" He hissed, echoing himself over and over. "Reverend Hound is going to be hot on our trail. We've been here too long."
I hated to admit it, but he was right. I knew we would be tracked. The more I thought, the more I knew I had to listen to him because in here we were as good as dead. Reverend Hound would stop at nothing to bring us to justice.
We started to wind our way back through the maze-like corridors toward the door. I could almost hear Reverend Hound nipping at our heels even though he was nowhere to be seen. The hallways seemed to narrow the closer we got to the door.
"Yes. Leave. We will go together." His voice slithered into my ear, hissing like a serpent and nestling deep into the back of my head.
He sounded excited. We would no longer live in fear. We wouldn't have to look over our shoulder with every step. It wouldn't matter even if I did help murder the King. Reverend Hound couldn't follow me out there. It may have looked like hell outside of here, but inside it felt like hell.
Took a wrong turn… No, two. Where was I going? Did I know? Did he? I knew these passages like the back of my hand, but where was my hand? I could no longer see it. I could no longer navigate this place.
Ah yes, the door. I was standing in front of the door. Just as I had been last night. How did I get here? How did he get here? He was following me… or did I follow him? Either way I was in front of the door, starting the opening sequence.
"We did it. You did it. You got away with it." He cackled, still insisting I helped with this heinous act.
He was cut short by the alarm and thundering machinery as the door started to open once more. Again, as the steel rolled to the side, I was able to stare deep into the hellish landscape that laid before me. This time there was no hesitation. Out there I may be killed anyway, but at least I could live until then.
I took my first steps through the giant steel door and paused for a moment before hitting the control panel on the other side. This would seal the two of us out, and Reverend Hound in... forever.
The door started closing behind us, muffling the sound of the alarms from inside.
"You're free now. I'm free now. We're both free."
The words bounced around my skull like the ricochet of a bullet. I couldn't tell which one of us had spoken. Which… which one of us was laughing? I think we both were. I looked at him with his blonde hair, relentless smile, and blue jumpsuit that matched mine exactly. I felt like it was mocking me but still he kept his place, sitting on my hand, as we took our first steps away from Vault 77.