A part of Monika had hoped that, once she and Sayori were alone, the mood between them would lighten up.
Of course, the opposite happened. Tension crackled around them noiselessly, the air between the two girls thick with invisible thunderclouds bearing a storm that could strike at any second. And Monika was helpless. She still couldn't bring herself to look at Sayori, let alone say anything. So instead, she just kept her eyes straight ahead and marched forward rigidly.
And as she walked, she berated herself. Why would she expect it to get easier when it was just the two of them? Had she really thought that Sayori was just going to let yesterday go that easily? Stupid, stupid, stupid. But she'd already proven herself to be beyond incompetent when it came to social situations, so she supposed it wasn't that big of a surprise.
When they reached their neighborhood, Sayori sighed deeply, causing Monika to jump. Sayori looked at her questioningly, a little concerned. Monika turned away quickly. "N-Nothing," she stated dumbly.
Sayori moved a little bit closer to her friend. "Monika?"
Monika gulped. "Yeah?"
Sayori tilted her head. "Are you okay?"
"I – um – " Monika peeked to her left so that she could just catch a glimpse of Sayori's peach-colored hair out of the corner of her eye. "What?"
"You've been acting strange for the last couple of days and I just wanted to talk to you about it…" Sayori said, fidgeting. "Of course, I suppose you don't have to tell me why if you don't want to…"
Monika opened her mouth, ready to say something, but stopped when that last statement registered. She was expecting anger, or perhaps frustration. But instead, concern. Respect. Monika was beyond surprised.
"I mean, I am a little bit curious," Sayori confessed with a short giggle. "But like I said, you really don't have to. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable."
Monika turned to face her friend head-on, completely taken aback by this show of kindness. "Sayori…"
"Y-Yeah?" Sayori stammered, poking her fingers together worriedly.
Oh my God, Monika thought. She's just as nervous as I am.
This thought gave Monika's confidence a boost, and she replied quickly. "I appreciate you."
Sayori deadpanned her for a moment before snorting. "You what?"
"N-No, wait," Monika stammered, more than a little flustered. "I mean – I feel like you – "
Slowly but surely, Sayori's chuckles died down. "Monika," she said plainly. The girl in question didn't say a word as Sayori's right hand braved the space between them to rest on Monika's shoulder. Monika shivered slightly, but didn't respond beyond that. She looked back at Sayori's face. She was smiling warmly.
"Slow down," Sayori continued. "Think about what you want to say before you say it. I'll wait for you."
"I…" Monika cleared her throat and thought hard. A moment or two later, she responded. "I appreciate that you're respecting my boundaries, Sayori."
Sayori's smile broke open into a full-blown grin. "Thank you, Monika!"
Monika laughed, a little nervously, a little hopefully. "Y-You're welcome."
"Don't mention it," Sayori said. "Now, I know I said that you don't have to tell me what's wrong and all that, but I still want to help you out if I can. Will you let me do that?"
"Oh, um…" Monika trailed off. "I don't want your help."
Sayori retracted her hand, her smile wavering. "Oh."
"No, wait," Monika said quickly. "I
hurt you didn't I but it wouldn't be the first time now would it
'm sorry. I'm sorry." Monika was breathing quickly. Her lips were dry. She was
back to square one, just like that, one mistake is all it takes
starting to feel nauseous. "What I meant to say was that I…I-I…"
"Monika, slow down," Sayori said, reaching out again. Monika shrank back, a wild look in her eyes. "Please, just
Monika, no room for you or Yuri or Natsuki so you better get out of my way because he's MINE
talk to me. I want to help you."
In a lightning bolt of clarity amidst the storm of anxiety which was dragging her down, Monika came to what she thought was a profound realization. "I don't deserve your help."
"What?" Sayori asked. Then, she giggled again, but it was a nervous giggle, a you're-starting-to-sound-a-little-crazy giggle.
"I…I…" Monika caught a glimpse of her house out of the corner of her eye. She turned away quickly. "I have to go."
"Monika, wait!" Sayori cried. "Please! You're scaring me!"
Monika stopped for a moment. She tried to look at her friend, but all she could see was blackness in her eyes and a noose around her neck. She turned around and sprinted inside, and Sayori's increasingly frantic yells echoed inside her skull long after she locked the front door and shut herself up in her room.