Chapter Five

"Mairin, they'll only let family in with you for something like this," Professor Sycamore said. "Out of all of us Alain's the only one that can go in with you."

"B-but..." Mairin said weakly, but could think of no counter argument as she helped the professor put the dishes away. She shifted her feet, her fingers dancing along the edges of a plate. "Then can I take myself?"

"...Please don't take this personally, but I don't think you should be driving right now," Professor Sycamore said. "It's just a small check up, Mairin, the doctor's just going to see if they can get any hint of what happened to you," the professor took the plate from her, since she was making no effort to put it away. "Mairin, you know you can trust Alain– he cares about you very much."

"B-but–"

"But what you remember happened years ago," Professor Sycamore said firmly. "I know you don't remember what happened after– but Alain regrets what he said to you."

That's not why I'm worried... Mairin thought to herself, but she held her tongue. It was quite clear that Professor Sycamore wasn't going to let anyone else take her to see this specialist. And no matter how much space she wanted between her and Alain... she wanted a way to get her memories back more.

"...Why then?" Mairin asked. "Why did he do that? What was in that letter?"

Professor Sycamore closed the now-empty dishwasher. "That is a question you need to save for Alain. Just because time has past doesn't make it my story to tell. Now go make sure you're ready– you and Alain should be leaving soon if you want to get to Dr. Tambert's on time."

Mairin knew that she was now excused from the kitchen– and with an unnecessary huff she turned away from the professor and out into the hallway.

This morning had most certainly gone off better than yesterday– and waking up in her own room had most certainly helped. She still had felt queasy, and she wasn't sure if it was from the events of yesterday or the unsettling dream, but she had been able to eat a proper breakfast.

And now she was off to see a doctor about her amnesia.

With Alain.

"Ready?"

Mairin jerked her head up as she heard a familiar voice speak to her, and there stood Alain, a set of keys in his hand. He watched her with cold blue eyes, his black leather jacket on. Mairin noted it was a different one than from her last memory– but this one was of a similar design. Mairin figured he had finally outgrown his other one, or perhaps it had gotten ruined, and this was merely a replacement. He had gone through several since they had first met after all.

"Y-yeah..." Mairin muttered.

"Good," Alain said. "You need to get out, you've been cooped up in the lab for long enough."

"It's only been a day," Mairin said uncertainly, following after him as they headed down the hallway. Alain let out a long sigh, and she could imagine the exasperated look on his face.

"No– the day before you lost your memories you didn't go out either. You said you weren't feeling up to it," he paused for a moment. "Remind me to mention that to the doctor– if you can even remember that."

He couldn't hide the bitterness in his tone.

Her eyes narrowed– this wasn't her fault! Mairin opened her mouth to retort like she always did when Alain got this way, but the words got caught in her throat. She didn't know how to respond, and she felt her mind clamming up because of that. Sweat started forming on her skin, and she swallowed.

"Coming?" Alain asked coolly after a moment, standing at the end of the hallway. Mairin shivered– he kept going back and forth between soft and caring, to hard and distant– and she hated it.

She just wanted her best friend.

Alain walked back towards her, grabbing her wrist before forcing her to follow him down the hallway. She let out a yelp of surprise, stumbling as Alain dragged her along. He didn't even glance at her as he led her down the hall.

"L-let go of me!" Mairin managed to stutter out after a minute– and Alain released her.

"Then keep up," Alain said, opening the door, and he gestured with his head. "After you."

She gritted her teeth, but headed outside. She was startled as she walked out in harsh sunlight, she blinked rapidly, her eyes trying to adjust as Alain shut the door behind them. Heat washed over her skin, it was clearly summer time.

"Mairin, I don't want to be rude, but we can't be late," Alain said, snapping Mairin out of her stupor.

"I... I just wasn't expecting the heat," Mairin said softly. "Last time I was outside it was autumn..."

Fall was one of her least favorite seasons– because it meant the wonderful summer was over, and the dreaded winter was on its way. Here she had been expecting the coolness of autumn– but instead she got to embrace summer once more. She wasn't quite sure what the month was, but she was more than happy that it was summer once again.

His expression softened. "There'll be plenty of time to be outside later, but we need to go now."

She sighed, but followed him towards a black car parked out on the street. He pressed a small button on his keys, the lights flashing as the doors unlocked. Mairin reached for the passenger door as they approached, but Alain beat her to it, holding it open for her. Mairin heistated at the gesture, before climbing in.

By the time Alain got around to the driver's seat she was buckled in, leaning her head against the door, body carefully angled away from Alain so she didn't have to look at him. Tensions were high enough for her, and his flickering dispositions just weren't helping. He started the car in silence, pulling out onto the busy road with a single glance over his shoulder. Mairin bit her lip– from what she remembered she hadn't even been driving for a year now, and she wondered just how much experience she had forgotten.

That one thought quickly opened her mind, and right away her brain became to explore every possibility of what had gone missing from her mind. Five years... five whole precious years of her life had just been torn from her... what if that wasn't all she was missing? What if more moments of her life were gone, and she just hadn't even realized it yet?!

She began to rack her brains, delving deeper in her memories as she tried to pull up everything she could. Everything to childhood memories, to random facts, to names of people she had met. She met no barriers of any kind, able to dig through her mind with ease– everything seemed fine.

Until she reached the fight with Alain– then everything jumped straight to yesterday.

"Don't stress yourself," Alain said, breaking the silence. "I'm sure you have plenty of that already."

She shifted her gaze, just in time to see Alain pulling his eyes back towards the road. Mairin knew that she was easy to read, but still it was uncomfortable to know that her every action was being watched.

"I'm just trying... to make sense of everything," Mairin said. "My memory seems fine to me, nothing seems blurry or out of reach... everything's there... up to the fight, that is."

Alain's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"What happened that night, Alain?" Mairin asked. "What was in that letter?"

"...Bad memories, and bad news," Alain said after a moment, voice monotone. "Things I'd rather not discuss while driving," he glanced at her for a moment. "I'll tell you tonight– alright? I explained what happened once, and I can do it again... but I'd rather not dwell on it, okay?"

Mairin nodded. "You made that clear, um... a few years back."

His jaw tightened. "There are many things in my life I wish I could change– but what I said to you was one of them. I was upset, but I had no right to take it out on you," he pulled to a stop at a red light, and he then turned to look at her. "Mairin, I've said this many times before, but you need to hear it again– I'm sorry for what I said. I wasn't just snapping, I was purposely trying to say things that I knew would get to you– but please know that those things weren't true!"

She opened her mouth to respond, but it was then the light turned green. Mairin swiftly looked away, muttering. "Green light."

Alain drove forward, and made no further attempts to engage in conversation the rest of the drive.

"...Any physical symptoms or events that could possibly be linked to your missing memory?"

Doctor Tambert was an older man, and he spoke in a slow, rough voice– one that made Mairin want to cringe. He was nice, not warm per se, but nice– but that didn't change the fact that Mairin hated the way he spoke.

"Um... not that I know of?" Mairin said uncertainly. "Well, I guess I felt pretty sick yesterday, throwing up and stuff..."

"Possibly a result of stress, especially if you show no symptoms today," Tambert said slowly.

"Actually, she wasn't feeling well the night before either," Alain added.

"And I have a slight headache right now," Mairin said after a moment, her head starting to throb a bit more, which caused Alain to pause. It was nothing she couldn't handle– but the headache had appeared shortly after Dr. Tambert had called them back, and it was only getting worse. Alain glanced around the room as if someone were watching them, before turning his attention back to the doctor.

The older man frowned. "Nothing conclusive. What you describe could be many things– whether the body reacting to the stress you have been going through, or perhaps a cold that has no ties to your missing memories," he sat up. "If it is stress you cannot let it hinder you– stimulation will be very important if we are going to get you through this."

"Do you have any idea of what could have happened to her?" Alain asked, making no effort to mask his stressed voice.

"Mr. Vide, you and your wife have been here for only fifteen minutes," the doctor adjusted his glasses. "However what I have gathered is that it doesn't appear that any recent physical trauma caused her lack of memories, and it also seems that you are both telling the truth. We will need to schedule further appointments, and I would like to give her a CT scan as soon as possible, to see if we can locate anything abnormal."

Alain scowled. "Telling the truth? Of course we're telling the truth!"

Tambert sighed. "Unfortunately it's not the first time people have attempted to lie on such things for attention, but I have gotten no sign from my Espurr that suggests you have been lying, and he is quite keen."

Mairin thought everything he was saying was nothing but good– the doctor believed them and intended on helping them– but yet Alain tensed up. Mairin froze up as Alain grabbed her shoulders with his hands, fingers digging into her skin.

"You have a psychic type out?" Alain snarled.

Tambert frowned. "Yes I do, his bed is under my desk. I specialize with the mind, it is only natural that I would have a Pokemon that does the same," Alain let out a sound that resembled a growl, and Tambert raised an eye. "What is a matter? It is not like a little Espurr could read your mind, he simply picks up on the natural waves emulating from the mind, and wavering ones tends to indicate lying. It is no more intrusive than studying one's body language–"

"Return it, now," Alain hissed, pulling Mairin close to him. She didn't know how to react to this– her mind telling her to both pull away and to move closer.

The doctor scowled. "I'm afraid you don't have the right–"

"She's sensitive to psychic energy– return it now!" Alain roared, and the doctor blinked. After a moment he pulled a heal ball out of his pocket, aiming it under his desk.

There was a flash of red right as the unseen Pokemon was returned, but still Alain's grip on her didn't loosen. Mairin blinked uncertainly, still wanting to pull away from Alain– but then she slowly realized that the throbbing in her head was starting to die down. Mairin froze up, startled as her headache slowly started to seep away.

"M-my headache–" Mairin began, blinking.

"We should have brought Ruby," Alain growled. "She would have taken care of this..." He glared at the doctor. "If any of your scans or treatments involve psychic Pokemon, then we're leaving."

The old doctor frowned. "...Some do, but there are alternatives we can do instead. It would be similar to how Pokemon doctors would work with dark types on such things, since psychic energy has no effect on them," his frown deepened. "I... I have never heard of a human being this sensitive to psychic radiation though–"

"Well now you have," Alain spat. "And you won't press the topic," he stood up, harshly yanking Mairin to her feet. "I believe our appointment is over now– I'll call you later to make another, but I think it would be best if we left for now. Come on, Mairin."

And then without another word Alain dragged her out of the office. Mairin gritted her teeth as she was forced to stumble over her feet, and she was sure she would have fallen face first if it weren't for Alain's grip.

"For Xerneas' sake, stop dragging me around!" Mairin exclaimed, struggling to free herself from Alain. "You had no reason to treat the doctor that way!"

Alain stopped suddenly, looking back at her in mild surprise. She scowled at him, and after a moment his surprise faded away, and he rubbed at his temple with his free hand. His other one remained around her wrist, and a sharp jerk was all Mairin needed to pull free. She shifted as they stood in the waiting area of the office, but fortunately there was no one to witness this display.

"...You... don't... remember..." Alain said slowly, eyes wide– as if he had just realized this fact.

"I am well aware of that," Mairin snapped. "So would you please care to explain why you acted that way back there?"

Alain was looking at her as if he had never seen her before. "You don't remember."

"Alain!"

He blinked, pulling himself from his thoughts. "I– um, well..." he closed his eyes. "The headache you were getting... you should have told me sooner– you usually do. I would have done something about it."

Mairin touched her forehead, the throbbing pain now just a moment of the past. "I... I didn't even think twice about it, considering how I was feeling yesterday," she looked up at Alain. "You told the doctor I was sensitive to psychic moves or something... since when?"

He hesitated, shifting back and forth on his feet. He was watching her with that startled look, scanning her every reaction. She could practically see the wheels turning in his mind, considering the situation she knew nothing about. Finally he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he composed himself.

"It's... it's something that started about four years ago..." Alain said slowly, his face now expressionless. "It's not just psychic attacks... but being around psychic energy overwhelms you, brings on these headaches and usually you just... shut down."

Mairin took this in, lacing her fingers together. "Why? What happened?"

Alain's gaze slipped to the side, jaw tightening slightly. "...Nothing."

Mairin leaned back. "What do you mean nothing?"

Alain closed his eyes. "It just... happened one day, came on slowly... no clear cause or anything," he shrugged. "I was just so used to it at this point that I didn't even consider that you wouldn't react... but in your memories this never took place so I guess you can handle it... differently."

...Was he lying to her?

What he was saying seemed to line up with what just happened... but his body language had suddenly become so defensive. He still wasn't looking her in the eye, just shaking his head as he finished his explanation. He glanced at her, giving her a small smile, then reached for her hand.

Mairin stiffened up as his warm fingers slipped between hers, and he suddenly let go of her.

"...Sorry," he said swiftly. "Old habits... let's just get back to the lab."

With that Mairin followed him out the door, careful to remain several steps behind him.

Mairin was sick by the time dinner came around that night.

She had been feeling fine the whole day– and so she had thought that the horrible feelings from yesterday wouldn't return. However as soon as she walked into the kitchen the smell of hamburgers washed over her, and her lunch decided that it wanted to be on the floor.

"Sorry," Mairin muttered as Cosette led her away from the kitchen. "S-sorry, I'm sorry..."

"This isn't your fault," Cosette said gently, but guilt twisted through Mairin, knowing that someone would have to clean up the mess she had just made. Her stomach churned unhappily at the thought, the acidy taste still lingering in her mouth. "Why don't you go lay down, and I'll have Chespie bring you up some water, and hopefully something you can stomach."

Mairin swiftly shook her head. "N-no, I don't think I can eat anything..."

"Mairin, you need to eat," Cosette said as she guided Mairin towards her room. "It isn't healthy."

Mairin looked away from Cosette, not sure of how to respond. She knew that she should be eating, but right now even the thought of food made her want to throw up again. Mairin's pace slowed down ever so slightly as they approached Alain's room, and she couldn't help but peer through the open door as she passed. Mairin was surprised to find that Alain was sitting cross legged on the bed with Ruby laying in front of him, the two of them looking like they were engaged in a deep conversation.

Cosette led her on though, and her view of Alain was torn away.

"Are you two getting along now?" Cosette asked, noticing the way Mairin glanced over her shoulder.

Mairin's stomach started to twist again. "I– I guess?" Mairin stuttered. "I... I mean I was just really startled yesterday, waking up with him next to me like that..." she closed her eyes. "Cosette, I don't know what to do! Everytime he looks at me I... I know he's looking at his wife."

"You are his wife," Cosette said as they came to a stop outside of her bedroom door. "I know you don't remember it, but you two loved each other."

Mairin looked up at her helplessly. "And that's what scares me."

"That you two love each other?" Cosette asked, blinking.

She lowered her head. "Knowing that he loves me... it's honestly just as frightening as losing my memories! He's my best friend Cosette– I see him as like an older brother!" she wrapped her arms around herself. "J-just knowing that he looks at me like we're something more... knowing that he loves me when I don't... it scares me!"

Cosette simply laughed.

It wasn't a cruel or mocking laugh– but still the fact that someone saw her fears as humorous made Mairin wish she could just melt into the ground. Cosette placed a hand on Mairin's shoulder, rubbing her arm in a comforting way.

"This is all new to you, but you just need to give it some time," Cosette smiled. "I'm sure you'll be able to find your feelings eventually, even if your memories aren't there," she nudged Mairin towards the door, opening it. "Now you go get some rest, and call us if you need anything."

And just like that she headed down the hallway, and Mairin was left alone.

Her stomach seemed to have calmed down somewhat as she stepped into her room, however her heart was feeling heavier than ever. She trudged over to her bed, plopping down and burying her head into her hands. Her throat felt raw, though her stomach had seemed to finally calm down somewhat. She pressed her eyes shut, trying to keep back her tears of frustration.

"Please..." Mairin muttered, to no one in particular. "I... I just don't know what to do..."

She lifted her head up, looking about her room, eyes lined with tears. She turned her head away in frustration, and that's when her eyes caught sight of six gleaming red spheres. She paused as she looked at the Pokeballs, hesitating. She had said that she would wait until today before approaching them... and she wasn't in the mood to wait for everyone else. These were her Pokemon after all, and just because she didn't remember everything didn't mean she couldn't take care of herself.

Mairin reached for the belt with her Pokeballs on it, pulling off the spheres and setting them on her bed. She looked over the six Pokeballs, pulling the three she recognized away– Chespie's, Bébé's, and Kiara's. She knew that Chespie's would be empty since he was downstairs, and so would Ruby's since she was Alain.

What would those two have to talk about?

Mairin picked up Bébé's Pokeball, turning it over in her hands. Just how different would everyone be? Was her relationship with them different than what she remembered? What about the Pokemon she didn't know, how would they take to the fact that their trainer saw them as strangers?

Mairin closed her eyes– worrying about that wouldn't get her anywhere. She just needed to open the Pokeball and get this over with, and go from there.

With that Mairin held Bébé's Pokeball in hand, and pressed the release button.