A/N: This was inspired by an incorrect quotes prompt I saw on Tumblr, and when I saw it, I HAD to write this shitpost-esque fic. But, there ARE Enjoy a crack ficlet, set in between canon s1 of 90's (no specific episode setting, but before Nephrite's death, obviously). Rated T for cursing. Enjoy my first entry into the FFN Sailor Moon fandom!

It was another normal day in the dark kingdom, and Beryl, as always, was scheming to find the Silver Crystal before the Sailor Guardians.

The door to the lair opened, and Zoisite came in, looking smug and snickering 'quietly' under his breath.

"Zoisite," her stern, dark voice began speaking. "Where were you? We should be finding the legendary Silver Crystal now, not merely goofing off."

Zoisite closed the door behind him carefully, turning back around to face Beryl and bowing. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "I was, heh, doing things."

Suddenly, the door blasted open and off, flying somewhere behind all of the monsters. It was Nephrite who barged in, looking beaten-up and bruised.

"You!" he pointed at Zoisite, anger radiating through his usually casual voice. "Queen Beryl, HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!"

Beryl's face looked confused, but with a hint of amusement, her turning to look at Zoisite. "Well, Zoisite?" she began. "Did you really push Nephrite down the staircase?"

Zoisite scoffed, beginning to chuckle. "Well, Queen Beryl, push is such a strong word," he began, shrugging with fake innocence. "I call it giving a little nudge to him."

Nephrite stormed from where he leaned against the broken doorway, stomping to Zoisite and picking him up by the collar of his suit. "Oh, I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my foot up your ass later tonight!"

Zoisite shoved Nephrite away from and off of him, hissing at him under his breath; trying to be quiet, but still loud enough for Beryl to hear their verbal spar, her shaking her head in reaction.

"Hey!" he bellowed, voice loud with fury. "Watch your fucking language in front of the Queen."

The two generals continued to fight, and Beryl observed the discourse, watching in the corner, sitting on her throne.

"I'm very disappointed in them," she muttered, rubbing her temples with her middle and ring fingers of both hands. "But not surprised at all."

Please make sure to leave a review! They make my day! I hope you all enjoyed, and follow my account to be notified when I post more SM fics! This month is my MakoNeph March, so if you happen to be a fan of that lovely ship, stay tuned for the first two chapters later tonight.

If anyone was OOC, please, ignore it. This is crack, after all; so take it with a grain of salt. Lol.