48

I woke up the next morning before Edward did. I slipped out of bed and pulled on his t-shirt from the day before. I could smell him on it. I wrapped my arms around my body as I slowly made my way through the house. I took my time taking in everything. It seems like it was just yesterday that Edward had surprised me with this house. Now I was leaving it. I knew it would be here when I came back, and I was determined to come back to the house that I shared with Edward, to go into the hospital and fight for my life. It felt like all I did was fight for my life anymore.

I started in the kitchen. I ran my hands over the granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. I could see Edward standing in front of the stove as he made me countless bowls of soup. I chuckled to myself as I made my way from the kitchen into the living room. I went over and looked at the framed snapshots sitting on the shelves.

I picked up my favorite picture. It was of me and Edward. We were sitting on the porch. He had his arms wrapped around me and I had a big smile on my face. My hair was floating down my back and shoulders. I let a tear fall as I set the picture back onto the shelf. There were numerous other photos of me and Edward. There were also pictures of me with Alice, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme.

I picked up the picture of me and Charlie from homecoming. He was placing the tiara onto my head with the biggest smile on his face. I hugged the picture to my chest as I made my way from the living room to our music room. I set the photo down on the piano and pulled out my cello.

I sat down on the piano bench and set the cello between my legs. I closed my eyes as I let my bow slide across the strings.

"Daddy, where are we going?" I asked from my place in the backseat of the car. Charlie just chuckled softly.

"We're going on an adventure," he chuckled.

"Are we hunting for bears?" asked Emmett excitedly.

"Why would we hunt bears?" I asked, rolling my eyes at my twin brother.

"Cause it would be cool," scoffed Emmett.

"Well, as cool as hunting bears would be, Emmett, we aren't going hunting," chuckled Charlie. "Just be patient. We will be there soon."

"Fine," pouted Emmett. I rolled my eyes again ."Dad, Bella rolled her eyes at me again."

"Bella, don't roll your eyes at Emmett," said Charlie.

"You are such a baby," I snapped at Emmett.

"Isabella," said Charlie. I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "You know, Bella, you should be nicer to Emmett. One day, you are going to need him."

"I don't need anyone but you, Daddy," I said.

"Aw, Honey, you will always need Emmett," sad Charlie. "No matter what he will be watching out for you."

"Yeah, Bella," whispered Emmett. I saw the sadness on his face and I immediately felt bad. "You'll always be my sister. No matter how mean you are to me."

"I'm sorry, Emmy," I whispered. "You're the best brother."

"You're the best sister, Belly," he said.

I could feel my tears pouring down my face as I finished my song. I felt my cello being pulled from my hands and opened my eyes to see Edward knelling in front of me. He laid the cello on the floor and pulled me into his lap.

"It's ok, love," he whispered.

"I can't do it," I sobbed. "I can't leave you, Edward."

"You're not leaving me," he whispered. "You are going into the hospital to finally get better. I will be there everyday, Baby. When you are ready, I will bring you back to this house. To our home."

"Do you promise?" I cried. "Do you promise to bring me home?"

"I promise," he cried softly. "I promise you, love."

"I love you so much, Edward," I cried as I clung to him. "Please don't stop loving me."

"I will never stop loving you," he whispered. "Never, Bella. You and I will be together forever."

I buried my head into his neck and just let my tears fall. Edward tightened his arms around me and rubbed my back as we cried together. This was going to be the biggest challenge of our young marriage. I tried to have faith that we would be able to push through this but I knew the odds weren't in our favor. Just the fact that we were eighteen automatically lowered the odds for us but Edward had proven over and over that he is dedicated to us. He had proven that no matter what, he is going to be here for me but would he be able to handle our forced separation? That would be the true test to our marriage.

After several minutes, Edward and I stood up. I grabbed the photo of me and Charlie from the piano and followed Edward back to our room. Edward didn't say a word as I laid the photo on the bed. We went into the bathroom and took a slow shower together. We weren't in a hurry today. But eventually we had to turn the water off and dry off.

We went back into our room. I pulled on a pair of the pajama pants that Alice had bought for me. They were blue and white plaid. I added a white t-shirt and a blue sweater. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed the photo of me and Charlie. I let my tears fall as Edward picked up my suitcase from beside the door.

"You ready?" he asked softly.

"I guess," I whispered. I looked around our room one more time before I looked back at him. "Let's go."

"Ok," he whispered.

Edward wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest as he led me out of our room. We went out to his car and I climbed into the front seat and wrapped my arms around myself as I let my tears fall. It was even harder than I thought it would be to leave our home knowing it would be weeks before I would be back. Edward put my bag into the backseat before he climbed into the front seat. He started the car and we pulled out of the garage. He moved his hand to my thigh as we drove to the hospital.

I moved my hand down and gripped his hand tightly in mine. I needed to touch his skin while I still could. It wasn't just a want. It was a need that we both had right now. Edward parked his car in the parking lot and I reluctantly let go of his hand. We climbed out of the car and I quickly moved to Edward's side. I grabbed his hand as he pulled my suitcase from the backseat. He pulled his hand from mine and quickly wrapped it around my waist. I wrapped my arms around him as we made our way into the hospital.

Carlisle was waiting for us in the lobby. I could see the guilt written all over his face. I knew he was thinking that he somehow failed me. I knew I should try and make him feel better but right now, I couldn't. I didn't blame him but I just couldn't even make out a word through my tears.

"Bella, you ok?" asked Carlisle.

"No," I sobbed softly. "I…no."

"I know, Honey," he whispered. "Edward, you need to head down to conference room four. They are waiting for you. They will go over everything with you and help you scrub up before you come to Bella's room, ok?"

"Ok," whispered Edward. He turned to me and brought his hands up to my face as he let his tears fall. "I'll see you in a while, ok?"

"Ok," I cried. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered. Edward kissed me again before he pulled out of my arms and walked away. Carlisle came over and wrapped his arms around me as I let my tears fall freely.

"It's ok, sweetheart," he whispered. "He's going to be fine."

"I know," I whispered. I wiped the tears off my face. "I know you will take care of him for me."

"I promise," said Carlisle. "Now let's get you up to your room and get you settled."

"Ok, Carlisle," I whispered.

Carlisle kept his arm around my shoulder as we made our way over to the elevator. We rode it up to the sixth floor. The doors opened and we stepped out of the elevator. Carlisle lead me down the hallway to a large room about halfway down. I stopped outside of the room and took a deep breath before I followed him in. The walls were stark white and boring. The hospital bed was sitting in the middle of the north wall of the room. There was a small sofa in the corner that was covered in plastic. Carlisle placed my bag on the counter next to the sink and looked around before he turned back to me.

"I know it's not much," he said softly.

"I suppose I'll get used to it," I said as I sat on the bed. It wasn't very comfortable. "Bed kind of sucks."

"I'm sure it does," chuckled Carlisle as a black haired woman came into my room. "Bella, this is Chloe Watts. She will be your nurse while you are here. Chloe, this is my daughter in law, Bella."

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," said Chloe with a big smile.

"You too," I said softly.

"Well, the first thing I am going to do today, Bella, is start a central venous line," said Carlisle. "I will place it in your chest. It will keep up from having to stick you over and over when we need to get blood samples and give you medication, ok?"

"Ok," I said. "Will it hurt?"

"I don't think so," said Carlisle. "It will pinch a bit but I don't think it will be any worse than your chemo sticks."

"Oh," I said. "Ok."

I pulled off my sweater and laid it on the end of the bed. Carlisle came over and got my central venous line put it. It didn't hurt but it was very uncomfortable. It pinch and pulled. Plus it felt uncomfortable but I hoped it would be better than getting stuck over and over with a needle.

Chloe left after taking my first round of blood samples. I pulled out my laptop and logged onto the blog site that Edward had started for me.

Day 1

Today I entered the hospital that would be my home for the next several weeks.
I already hate it. My room is boring and bland. Hopefully it will grow on my
because right now, I can't stand it. I found it was harder than I was expecting
to leave my home this morning. It went deeper for me than just leaving the
house I shared with my husband. It was leaving a huge part of myself behind.

I will be starting the conditioning phase of the transplant process in just a few
hours. I'm nervous about what I will be going through. I know I've spent the
last eight weeks going through chemotherapy but this will be more intensive.
I hope I can handle it.

I posted the blog and shut my laptop as Chloe came in with Edward following her. They were wearing a yellow paper looking gown and a mask over his mouth and nose. They had a pair of gloves on their hands and slippers on their feet. I hated not seeing all of his face but at least I could still see his gorgeous eyes.

"Hey," I said. "You look handsome."

"Thanks," he chuckled. "I feel like an evil scientist."

"You look like one too," I chuckled softly as I rolled onto my side so that I was facing him. He pulled a chair up to the side of my bed.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the central venous line.

"It's a central venous line," said Chloe as she injected something into it. "This is an antibiotic to help fight off any infections that might try to set it. Dr. Cullen will be back in a little while to start your chemo treatment. Lunch will be here in about an hour. Do you need anything else?"

"No," I said. "Thanks."

"Let me know," she said. She turned to Edward. "I know that right now her system isn't very weak but don't take off your protection gear. It's good for you to get used to wearing it and it will keep the room cleaner, ok?"

"Ok," said Edward. Chloe just nodded before she left us alone. Edward looked over at me. "Were you on your blog site?"

"Yes," I said. "I figured this was a good time to get started on it."

"I think it will help you and maybe others," said Edward.

"Maybe," I said softly.

Edward reached over and grabbed my hand while we talked about my blog site. He mostly talked while I just listened to the sound of his voice. I managed to eat part of my lunch but honestly, my nerves were dancing in my stomach.

Carlisle came in a couple hours later, dressed like Edward, and started my first intensive chemo treatment. He stayed with us and told us about the others calling. They had all called Carlisle asking him how I was doing. He told me he assured them I was fine.

It took a couple hours for my treatment to run it's course. It didn't take long for the effects of the intensive treatment to hit me. It wasn't that different than what I had been experiencing over the last several weeks but I knew it was only starting. Edward held me while I threw up everything I had managed to eat for lunch. Carlisle cleaned my face and washed the back of my neck.

I spent the rest of the day dealing with the pain and nausea. I held onto Edward and reminded myself that it was worth it.