56

Bella,

YAY! The marrow is engrafting! That is awesome news. I am
so happy for you. I know you still have a ways to go but at least
this is something. As my big sister, I expect you to always share
your news with me before the rest of your fan base. Seriously, it's
nice to have an older sister, even if I've never seen what you look
like. Which brings up an interesting question. What do you look
like?

I'm the freakishly tall girl in my class. I'm already almost five feet
seven inches. My mom keeps telling me that my height will come in
handy one day but I don't see it. Because while I may be tall, I'm
terribly clumsy and uncoordinated. I seriously trip over air. It's
completely embarrassing. I have long light reddish brown hair but
I guess I will be losing my hair soon, huh? What's that like? I also
have blue eyes, like my mom. Everyone says I look just like her. I
don't really see it.

We leave for Houston the day after tomorrow. I'm really scared,
Bella. My brothers are staying here with my grandmother. My
parents keep telling me to make sure I pack enough underwear.
Like I'm going to forget to pack my underwear. I know they are
just as scared as I am but it's really starting to get on my nerves. I
mean I'm the one who has to go through the CT Scan and MRI, not
them. Maybe I'm the one being cranky now.

Anyway, I had better go. My head is killing me today. I hope Emmett's
doing ok. I know you were really worried about him.

Tricia

Tricia, my dear Tricia,

What do I look like? Well at this time, I am a bald, pale, skinny girl.
But before I got sick, I had long dark brown hair with blue streaks.
Yes, I had blue streaks in my hair. They were totally awesome. It was
my way of sticking it to the man, although now, I'm not really sure
who the man was at the time. Anyway, I have dark brown eyes. I was
still pale but that kind of comes with living in the wettest place in the
country. We don't see the sun that much. Based on the pictures I've
seen, I look like my mom. I used to hate that but I don't mind it so
much anymore.

As for how it feels to lose your hair, for me it was devastating. I don't
know if it's like that for everyone. I've heard of some people who have
head shaving parties. Edward shaved mine as I sat on a stool and cried
like a baby. I was vain. I'll admit it but I had beautiful hair. I wonder
if it will look the same when it grows back in?

I'm not very tall, only about five feet five, if I wear heels. I used to be
really clumsy when I was little but when I started cheering I seemed to
get over my balance issues. That's one of the biggest parts of my life that
I miss. I had to quit cheering when I got sick because of the risk of
getting hurt.

So besides writing, and I'm waiting to hear about how the novel is coming,
what else do you like to do? I'm a book nerd. I love to read. I'll read just
about anything from novels to how to books to fan fiction. Have you ever
read some of those fan fiction stories online? They are really good. I'm also
into cars. Well, mostly my car. I have a 1960 Ford Mustang. God, I miss my
baby. I spent two years fixing her up. She's amazing to drive. Seriously, no
other car compares to my baby. Does that make me sound creepy?

Do you have a history of forgetting your underwear when you go on trips? It
doesn't seem like the kind of item you would forget to pack. Maybe you should
make a list that you could check off as you pack. Hairbrush, check. Toothbrush,
check. Underwear, double check. Brain tumor, check, check, check. Sorry, just
a little cancer humor for you. A few weeks ago, Edward and I went to New York
for this music competition at NYU. My loving, yet slightly neurotic sister in law,
thought that I needed help packing because as she put it 'You have no style, Bella.
It's like you lost that when you lost your hair.' I might have flipped her off and
called her a series of colorful names that I won't be repeating for you, little
sister. I must be a good influence, or at least try to be.

Emmett's good. He whined a lot about his butt hurting but we all told him to suck
it up and shut up. I'm always here if you need to talk Tricia. You have my cell
number so call or text if you need an ear to cry into while in Houston, or anytime,
ok? I've got to go. I'm not feeling very good today.

Bella

I shut my laptop and pushed it away before I rolled in my bed and pulled my blanket up to my chin. I was so tired that I fell asleep almost immediately.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, loves a fella," sang Alice as she ran in a circle around me. I closed my eyes as I started getting dizzy.

"Alice, stop," I cried as my body started swaying from side to side but she didn't stop.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, loves a fella," she sang again.

"STOP," I screamed as I fell to my knees on the ground.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, loves a fella."

"SHUT UP!" I screamed at Alice.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, loves a fella," sang her and Rose.

"I HATE YOU BOTH!" I screamed.

"Bella, wake up, sweetheart," said Carlisle, shaking my shoulders. I groaned and tried to push his hand off of me but I couldn't find the strength to lift my hand. "Isabella, wake up."

"NO," I cried.

"Tell me what you feel," ordered Carlisle.

"Tired," I mumbled. "So tired and cold. Really cold…"

"You're tired and cold," he said into my ear. "Anything else?"

"So tired…..." I mumbled, drowsily. "My eyes hurt…"

"Your eyes hurt?" asked Carlisle.

"Burning…" I cried as I brought my knees up to my chest. "Eyes burning…so cold."

"She's running a fever of 102.4," said someone.

"Shit," muttered Carlisle as I drifted back to sleep.

I was running through the park in the middle of the day. I stopped when I heard someone calling my name. I looked around but I didn't see anyone so I turned and started running again.

"Bella," called the person. I stopped and looked around again. "BEEELLLLAAA, come out and play."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"You know who I am," they chuckled.

"No, I don't," I said.

"Sure, you do," they chuckled as they stepped out from behind the trees. My eyes widen as I saw a giant number two. "Don't you know how to count?"

"One," called the number one as they came out of the trees.

"Two," sang number two.

"Three," chuckled number three. "We're coming for you."

"NO," I screamed as I started running again but the gaint numbers caught me and pulled me to the ground.

"GOTCHA," they all chuckled. "One, Two, and Three, are coming for you."

"NOOOOOOOOOO."

CPOV

"NOOOOOOOOOO," screamed Bella as she thrashed around in her bed.

I held her down so she wouldn't hurt herself. After a moment, she calmed down.. I could feel the heat from the fever ravaging her body through my protective gear. This is what I fear would happen. She's picked up an infection. Chloe came in with her meds. I quickly took them from her and injected them into Bella's IV.

"No, Alice," cried Bella in her sleep. "I don't want to go shopping…..No….."

"Dr. Cullen, Edward's waiting outside," said Chloe.

"Tell him he can't come in here today," I said. "Explain it to him and asked him to call his mother for me. She'll know what to do."

"Yes, Dr. Cullen," said Chloe.

"Tell him, I'm staying in here with Bella," I said.

"I will," said Chloe.

She left and I pulled up a chair next to Bella's bed. I grabbed the cold wash rag and started sponging Bella's forehead off. We needed to get the fever down. I knew Edward would be pissed that I wasn't letting him come in right now but the fewer people in contact with Bella right now the better.

From the moment I met Bella, I knew she was something special. I could see the fire in her eyes. I also knew something was horribly wrong with her. The way the bruises on her arms came up so quickly and from such a small amount of pressure. I knew she was sick but I didn't know what it was of course. Charlie had already expressed some concerns about Bella before Emmett came carrying her in.

Esme and I were standing behind the bleachers, trying to decide where to sit. This was Edward's first game with his new team and we wanted good seats. We thought it was nice that his coach had watched the tapes of him playing for his old school and let him on the team.

"Excuse me. Are you Dr. Cullen?" asked a tall dark haired man, coming up behind us. I turned and looked at him .

"It's Carlisle," I said, shaking his hand. "This is my wife, Esme."

"I'm Charlie Swan," he said. "Look, I know this isn't the place to talk to you about this but I'm worried about my daughter Bella."

"What's going on with Bella?" I asked.

"I don't really know for sure," said Charlie. "She's been sleeping a lot lately."

"How much is a lot?" I asked as he looked around. I followed his gaze and saw a monster of a boy carrying in a cheerleader with brown and blue hair. Must be a teenage thing to dye your hair since Alice had just done hers.

"That's Bella," said Charlie before he ran over to them. He pulled Bella out of the arms of the big boy but she snapped at him he set her down.

"Hey Mom, Dad, there are seats down on the bottom," said Alice as she came bouncing over to us.

"Alice, did you meet Bella today?" I asked, looking down at my daughter.

"Oh, yeah," squealed Alice. "She and her friend, Rose, are going to be my new best friends."

"Introduce us," I said as the boy stomped off.

Alice led us over to Bella and Charlie and introduced us. She put on a brave face but I could see the fear in her eyes. It was almost like deep down inside she knew something was wrong but didn't want to admit it. I guess I understood that feeling more than anyone else would. I knew something was wrong with me before Siobhan found my cancer. I just didn't want to admit it.

"Carlisle, I wish I had better news for you," said Siobhan as we sat in her office.

"It's cancer," I said.

"Yes, you have a large tumor in your left lung," she said softly. I leaned back in my seat and ran my hands over my face. "We can fight this, Carlisle. It doesn't mean your life is over. You know that."

"Yeah," I said as I stood up. "I do."

I turned and walked out of her office. I didn't even bother grabbing any of my work from my office. I walked out of the hospital and walked the ten blocks to my apartment. I walked in and saw Esme napping on the couch while Alice and Edward were sitting in the play pin. I went over and lifted them out of the play pin and sat down with them in my lap.

"Did you two wear mommy out?" I asked as the tears filled my eyes. "I hope I don't miss out on your lives. I want to see you both grow up and be happy. I want to see you get married and have babies. It's not fair."

"Carlisle?" asked Esme as she sat up. I looked over at her as the tears poured down my face. "You got your test results back, didn't you?"

"Yes," I whispered, hugging Edward and Alice to my chest. "It's cancer."

"No," she cried as she came over and knelt in front of me. "We need you, Carlisle."

"I know, my love," I cried. "I don't want to die."

"Fight for us, darling," cried Esme as she wrapped her arms around me, Alice, and Edward. "Fight for them."

We stayed wrapped in each other's arms for awhile as we cried together. I fought. I fought so hard for my wife, my kids, my life. Now, here I am watching as my son's wife fights for them as I did for my wife.

"NO, EDWARD!" screamed Bella in her sleep as she reached out. "DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"He will never leave you," I whispered to her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough," she mumbled in her sleep. "I didn't want to die."

"You are strong enough," I whispered as I sponged her forehead off.

I heard someone knock on the window and saw Edward watching. He had tears pouring down his face as he watched me taking care of his Bella. I pulled out a piece of paper from her notebook that was on the table. I quickly wrote a note on it and went over and stood in front of the window.

I'm doing everything I can, Edward. I promise to do everything I can.

Will it be enough? he wrote back on this own paper.

I hope so, son.

Edward put his hand on the window as he let his tears fall freely. Esme came up behind him and pulled him into her arms. 'Save her,' mouthed Esme to me. 'I'm trying,' I wrote out on my paper. She just nodded and pulled him away from the window. I went back to my seat next to Bella and started trying to cool her off again. God, please don't take her away from us, I thought to myself as Bella started mumbling in her sleep again.

BPOV

"Faster, Emmy," I squealed as Emmett pushed me in the swing. "Make me go faster."

"Ok, Belly," laughed Emmett as he pushed me faster.

"I feel like I'm flying," I laughed as my swing flew through the air.

"My turn, Emmett," whined Rose, from the swing next to mine.

"I've got Bella," said Charlie as he came up behind me and started pushing me in the swing. "You take care of Rose, Emmett. She's yours responsibility now."

"Yes, sir," said Emmett. Charlie stopped my swing and lifted me up on his shoulders.

"Let's go for a walk, Bella," he said.

"I want to stay with Emmett," I cried.

"No, you have to come with me for a little while," said Charlie. He lifted me off his shoulders and set me on the ground. He knelt down in front of me and grabbed my shoulders in his hands. "It's my turn to take care of you. Rose will take care of Emmett."

"What about Jasper and Alice? Carlisle and Esme?" I asked. "What about Edward?"

"They are fine," said Charlie. "You need me right now."

"Am I dying?" I asked.

"I hope not," said Charlie. "All I know is that right now, you need me."

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as he stood up and grabbed my hand.

"I don't know," said Charlie. "I was just told to take you this way."

"Who told you?" I asked as we headed toward the bright light.

"I don't know," said Charlie, again. He stopped and looked down at me. "Do you trust me, my Bella?"

"Yes, Daddy," I said. "I'm just scared."

"I'll take care of you," he whispered. "I promise."

"Ok, Daddy," I whispered.

Charlie turned back and pulled me toward the light. I looked back at Emmett and Rose, Jasper and Alice, Edward, Esme, and Carlisle. They were on the swings. I turned back to Charlie as we stepped into the light.