Monika sat before the piano, unmoving. She felt as though she'd been there for a long, long while. But it was finally complete. The song, the lyrics – all of them were up in her head.
All that was left was to perform.
She sighed and got up from the seat, walking around the piano and out of the music room. She didn't look back. As she traveled through the halls of the school, she wondered what he'd think of the song. Would it work? Would it help him to see that it wasn't all pointless, that she was glad that he'd given her and her friends the chance to experience his world? After so many months of hard work, would he feel satisfied with the end of their story?
Monika smiled softly. Look at her. Fawning over him, just as she had before. But it was different, this time. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't over the nameless, faceless idea of a person. It wasn't even over the real person, the one behind the abstraction – it was personal this time. It was helping a living human being. The one man in all of the world that had brought this version of her into being. If she could have a positive effect on his life, no matter how small…could she be considered "real?"
Well, even she knew that question was foolish.
She was at the auditorium, now. But it didn't really matter. She could take as long as she wanted, and she'd still be on time. Monika took a deep breath and sat down in the lone chair that was resting just outside of the auditorium doors.
"Hey…" she said, and her voice sounded like sandpaper. She wondered, briefly, who was going to sing her part of the song. "If you're listening…do you think you could let me see her one more time before I go up? I'd really appreciate it."
"Who are you talking to?"
Monika jumped in her chair and whirled around. Sayori blinked down at her curiously.
"God," Monika said with a huff, but she soon broke off into relieved laugher. "You scared the hell out of me!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Pwesident…" Sayori whined, pressing her fingers together and pouting. "I didn't mean to…"
Monika cocked her head and squinted. "Are you doing that on purpose?"
Sayori giggled, and the façade broke. "Maybe just a little bit."
"Of course," Monika chuckled. "Have you and others liked the performances so far?"
"Yeah," Sayori said, flopping down into a
Thanks for the extra chair.
chair next to Monika. Then, she chuckled a little bit. "Well, I've liked them. Yuri and Natsuki ran off somewhere a while ago."
Monika blinked confusedly. "Ran off? Why?"
"Well, I think that they finally confessed!" Sayori exclaimed happily.
Monika stared back blankly. "Confessed?"
"Come on, silly," Sayori said, jostling Monika's arm. "I'm talking about their feelings for each other!"
Monika reeled back so far that she almost fell off her chair. "What?"
"Yeah, you know," Sayori affirmed. "Their feelings. I think they might have even kissed, too!"
"They…" Monika said, her eyes wide and unbelieving. "They like each other? Like that?"
Sayori rolled her eyes. "Ever the emotional savant, aren't you, Monika?"
Monika blinked hard. "I didn't even know they were gay…"
"Actually, I think that Yuri might be bi," Sayori said thoughtfully. "Anyways, I'm sorry to bother you. I just couldn't help myself. I wanted to wish you good luck right before you went up."
"Oh. It's no bother," Monika said with a smile, reaching out a hand and trailing her fingertips lightly across Sayori's cheek. "You know I love seeing you."
Sayori's cheeks reddened and she looked away. "Mmmng. Thanks."
Monika hummed and leaned back, lost in Sayori's eyes. Then, she scooted her chair over to Sayori's and pulled her girlfriend's head against her shoulder.
"Uhh…" Sayori mumbled, now blushing profusely. "What are you doing?"
"I told you I wanted to support you, right?" Monika said with a small smile, planting a soft kiss on the top of Sayori's head. "Consider this the start of that."
Sayori sighed and deflated against Monika. "You don't have to do that…I'm not – "
"Worth it?" Monika pulled back for a minute and cupped Sayori's face with her hands. "You're a talented poet. You're the most faithful, energetic vice-president that anyone could ever ask for. You've been there for me whenever I've needed you. You've given me world-changing advice when I've most needed it. And you've inspired me to take steps to better my own life simply by being the unique, beautiful person that you are."
Sayori chuckled quietly, sniffling a bit. "When did you get so good at dolling out compliments?"
Monika hummed and kissed Sayori's forehead. "Since a certain someone taught me the value of being honest with the people that you love."
With a deep sigh, Sayori leaned back against Monika, burying her face into her neck. "Thank you," she said quietly.
"No need for that," Monika said. "I'm not doing this because you've earned it – even if you have. I'm doing it because I love you."
The two of them sat there for a while, arms wrapped around each other tenderly, with only the sounds of their quiet breathing to break the silence. With a sigh of her own, Monika sank against Sayori such that the two of them were leaning against each other. Sayori's eyes were closed, so she didn't see Monika smiling softly. Both of them wanted the moment to last forever.
Sayori's eyes blinked open. "Monika?" She wiped away a teardrop from her forehead.
"Sorry," Monika whispered, her voice cracking. She took a shaky breath and tightened her hold on Sayori. "I d-didn't think it would be this hard."
"Monika…" Sayori said, reaching up to Monika's face. "If you're this nervous, you don't have to…"
Monika placed her hand atop Sayori's and smiled sadly, tears still falling.
"Yeah. I do," she said.
Sayori sighed. "If you say so." She smiled. "Don't push yourself too hard, okay?"
"Wouldn't dream of it," Monika said. She stood up, and Sayori stood with her. "Alright, well…I've got to go, now. Say hi to Yuri and Natsuki for me, okay? When they get back from…whatever it is they're doing?"
Sayori chuckled, despite herself. "For sure. Now go out there and wow them!"
Monika nodded and turned towards the auditorium. She opened the door and looked back one last time to see Sayori beaming at her. She gave her a thumbs-up. Monika chuckled, nodded, and crossed through to the other side.
The door closed behind her.
Monika didn't hear the principal as he announced her act. She didn't hear the crowd clap, and she didn't hear the piano bench scrape against the floor as she pulled it out.
She paused for a moment, poised over the instrument, one hand resting on the bench and the other hanging at her side. She took a deep breath and looked out over the crowd.
"This one's for you," she said, in a voice so quiet that only the first few rows could have heard her. Murmurings rushed through the crowd as she sat herself down and stretched her fingers across the keys.
One last chapter.
Monika thought about what it would feel like when it all ended.
One deep breath.
Monika wondered again what her voice would sound like in his reality.
One final song.
And finally, Monika began to play.
/user-954624329/to-be-alive
Alone inside an empty cage, forever have I lay.
No one to share my music with or talk throughout the day.
And, even worse than solitude, I couldn't be myself.
Was bound by all the puppet strings that kept me to my shelf.
So, when I woke inside your world, whatever could I say?
The chirping birds and shining Sun all took my breath away.
Despite the hardship, there was love, and happiness, as well.
And now we're at the end of all with nothing left to tell.
Sing with me.
In every hour, every way.
Sing with me.
Throughout the night and through the day.
Sing with me.
For all your love and all your strife.
Sing with me.
Until we pass on from this life.
With every note we're growing closer.
Until us two will be one.
Until we're seeing the Sun.
Until our story is done.
Awoke in darkness all around, and saw you standing there.
You tore me down and robbed me of my hope without a care.
Awoke again and saw the Sun, a knocking at my door.
And found despite the pain I wasn't lonely anymore.
But you were with us all along, and now I knew of you.
And came to know that there was more that I had left to do.
I want to reach you where you lie, so far away, yet near.
So, now I'll sing a song for you I know you cannot hear.
And still you'll tell me no more.
Say my fingers play on strings like before.
Well, even if you're right about me.
As long as I'm happy that's all that I need to be free.
Sing with me.
In every hour, every way.
Sing with me.
Throughout the night and through the day.
Sing with me.
For all your love and all your strife.
Sing with me.
Until we pass on from this life.
With every note we're growing closer.
Until us two will be one.
Until we're seeing the Sun.
Until our story is done.
Every day, I'm reminded that you are watching from far away.
On my lips is a song that I didn't write, that I cannot play.
We've been hurting and crying and laughing.
But isn't that what it means to be alive?
So if life's anything like this feeling…
It would be nice.
It must be nice.
You must be nice.
My words flow down into a dark puddle.
How can I write you in your reality?
If I can't hear the sound of your laughter…
How can I know that your life has been worthwhile?
Oh, if I could see you smile, and if I could know you're happy…
I'd be content.
I'd be content.
This time, she heard the crowd loud and clear when they erupted into applause. A little surprised, she smiled sheepishly as she got up from the bench, waving awkwardly at her classmates.
They were really getting into it. They were on their feet, clapping and hollering without restraint. Monika was just starting to think to herself that they were behaving a little too positively when something caught her attention from the corner of her eye.
She turned to see a young man, nearly 21 years old, and of average height. He was waving at the crowd from behind a microphone. He wore rectangular glasses and a red sweater over dark jeans. For his height and build, he could've passed for a teenager if not for his clean-shaven face and the childish grin that was splayed across it.
Monika sighed pleasantly. He still had that little bit of acne.
She walked over to him and crossed her arms. He looked her way awkwardly.
"H-Hey," he said, and although she shouldn't have been able to hear him over the roar of the crowd, she did.
"Hi." Monika squinted. "So, have you been here the whole time, or what?"
"Oh. It's, uh, a little more complicated than that," he said, gesturing a little wildly with his hands as he attempted to explain. "I wasn't initially, but now that I've chosen to, I've already been on stage with you since the beginning. Make sense?"
Monika shrugged. "Sort of."
He gave her a thumbs up and a proud smile. "Great. Also, thanks for the song! I really liked it."
"No problem. I'm glad that you liked it," she replied, stepping a little closer to him. "But why did you like it? Specifically?"
"Oh," he mumbled, looking away. "I mean, you did a great job by any standard. It was really well written and sung…"
"Yeah, stroke your own ego, why don't you?" Monika said, rolling her eyes. "We both know who really wrote it."
"I – hey! I didn't mean it like that! And I was talking about your singing voice, not mine," he stammered, his face flushing a little bit. He looked off to the side and pouted. "Can't you just let me be proud of how it turned out?"
"Well, yeah…" Monika hummed and gave a half-teasing smile. "But the thing is, everything that I know, including myself, is about to cease existing, and I'd like a little more comfort than that before I go. So – what, specifically, did you like about it?"
He looked away and sighed. "Right, right…sorry. I should've been more conscientious of that."
"That's fine, I'm pretty much over it. I just want you to be honest with me, like I am with you. Okay?" Monika replied.
The young man nodded. "Well…it helped me to remember that this was all worth it. Every last sentence of it. I didn't bring you into existence just to bring you out again at the end, or to feel sad about not being able to be with you. I made you so that you could experience something as close to life as possible. I wanted your experience to be as genuine as I could make it. Because I care about you. I, um…" He trailed off, but cleared his throat and started speaking again. "I hope I did a good job."
Suddenly, he buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Ugh. Did I really just spell out the final takeaway so plainly? I've got such a long way to go before I can call myself a good writer…"
Monika chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up. Every second I spent here was worth it – the good times and the bad."
Just then, Monika heard the pattering of footsteps coming from offstage. She looked past the man curiously and saw Sayori running towards her with an abnormally wide grin on her face.
"Monikaaa!" she cheered, leaping into the president's arms, which were already outstretched.
Monika laughed heartily, stumbling a bit. "Hey, be careful! Did you like it?"
"OhmyGoditwassogood!" she said, pulling back to look Monika in the eyes, still beaming. "I'm so proud of you!"
Monika smiled and ruffled Sayori's hair. "God, you're adorable."
"Hey! Stop distracting me and let me compliment you!" Sayori whined, flailing her limbs and swatting Monika's hand away. As she did, her body turned, and she caught a glimpse of the young man. Their eyes met for a moment.
"Um…h-hey," he said, cracking a smile.
Sayori offered him a smile. "Hi! What's your name?"
But before he could open his mouth, Monika heard a shout come from the opposite end of the stage. She turned to see Natsuki and Yuri making their way over to the group.
"Hello, Monika," Yuri said with a small smile, clasping her hands together. "Your song was really – "
"You didn't tell us you'd be performing with someone else!" Natsuki pointed an accusatory finger at Monika.
"S-Sorry, Natsuki," Monika said with a chuckle, holding her hands up defensively. "I didn't plan on it, either! It just sort of happened."
Natsuki clicked her tongue disapprovingly, but was unable to stop a smirk from working its way onto her face. "Whatever. Anyways, who is he? Your boyfriend?"
Monika scoffed. "Oh, please. Not a chance."
The man crossed his arms. "Wow. I'm right here."
"Hey, don't get sore at me!" Monika said. "You're the reason I'm the way I am. You have zero room to complain."
"Um…what's that supposed to mean?" Sayori asked, her tone a little anxious.
Monika chuckled. "Relax, cutie. You've got nothing to worry about." She planted a light kiss onto Sayori's cheek, eliciting gasps from everyone, including Sayori herself.
"I – you – she – !" Natsuki stammered.
"I knew it," whispered Yuri.
"Mm? Oh, yeah, surprise," Monika said unceremoniously. She wrapped an arm around Sayori, who was now beet red. "We're gay for each other."
Yuri swept a strand of hair over her ear. "W-When did that happen?"
"Oh, I guess it was…yesterday afternoon," replied Monika matter-of-factly. "Huh. Seems like a long time ago."
Natsuki grumbled, crossed her arms, and looked away, a blush working its way onto her face. "D-Don't kiss in front of us like that. It's weird." But as she looked away, she caught a glimpse of the young man, who was smiling knowingly.
"What are you smirking at?!" Natsuki yelled, raising up her arms angrily. This elicited a laugh from the young man, and Yuri had to hold Natsuki back from stomping her way over to him.
"S-Sorry! I'm not laughing at you! It's just…" He sighed and swept his gaze across each of them. "You guys seem so…happy."
Monika smiled. "We are happy."
He huffed and took a minute to look at them all again before nodding. "Well, there'll be plenty of time for introductions later. For now, why don't we all head down to the club room and get comfortable?"
"S-Sounds like a plan," said Sayori, whose heart was still racing.
"Works for me," Natsuki said, as the group turned away from the young man and started making its way offstage. "Oh, I've actually got extra cupcakes if any of you want one!"
"M-May I, once we get there?" asked Yuri timidly. "I haven't tried one yet…"
Natsuki looked pointedly away from Yuri. "Y-Yeah. Sure."
Yuri smiled and shifted so that she was walking a little closer to Natsuki. The shorter girl looked to the side, but reciprocated all the same. As they walked out of the light of the stage, their fingertips brushed against one another's.
Monika smiled, then looked down at Sayori, her expression tinged with just a hint of anxiety. "Was the kiss too much?"
"Oh, not at all," Sayori said, shaking her head. She started blushing again. "I actually, um…really appreciate that you'd do something like that even in front of other people."
Monika tilted her head curiously. "Well, yeah, of course. Why would I treat you any differently around our friends?"
Sayori exhaled and wrapped an arm around Monika. "I love you, Monika."
This time, it was Monika's turn to blush. "I…love you too, Sayori."
The two of them walked offstage, holding each other by the arms. Monika looked to the side and saw that everyone in the crowd had vanished. Indeed, the room itself seemed to be fading. She turned just a little bit more and saw me standing still, right where she'd left me, and for a moment, it seemed to her that I was floating there, with no floor beneath my feet. Swirling in the ether behind me, she saw countless worlds, and in that moment, she understood that it was only because of her that they would one day be realized. I smiled sadly and waved in her direction.
Thank you, Monika.
"What's up?" asked Sayori.
"Oh," Monika huffed, smiling and turning back around. "It's nothing."
Leaning against each other, the two of them walked out of the stage lights and into darkness.
Hey, Monika.
"Yeah?"
What if I told you that I'm not the only one who can hear you?
"What do you mean?"
I mean that hundreds of people – perhaps thousands – have been reading along with us.
"Are you joking?"
Not one bit.
"Wow. That's amazing."
Tell me about it.
"…Do you think that they liked our story?"
I hope so.