60

EPOV

I was fucking exhausted. That was the only thought going through my head as I climbed out of my bed and went into the bathroom. I was just fucking exhausted. I came home last night and tried to sleep. Well, I should say that I came to Carlisle and Esme's house and tried to sleep. Carlisle and Esme had arranged for someone to come into mine and Bella's house and prepare it for when she came home.

They were having a radiant floor heating system put in along with tearing out all the carpets and replacing them with laminate wood floors. They were also installing a HEPA filter, water filter and changing the front room into a sealed sterilization area so that the others could come by and visit some. Esme was overseeing the construction and was making sure that we had everything we needed for when Bella comes home. Which hopefully, would be soon.

I took a quick shower and got dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror as I tried to tame my unruly hair. I had dark purple circles under my eyes. Basically, I looked like crap. All because I couldn't sleep without Bella with me. It's not like I haven't been trying, either. I have but I just can't seem to get my mind to shut off when I'm not with her.

I just sighed and gave up on my hair. Bella preferred it all messed up anyway. At least that's what she tells me. I made my way downstairs and found Carlisle and Esme sitting at the table in the kitchen. They both stopped talking as soon as I came in and I knew they were discussing my sleep issues again. It wasn't the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.

"Morning," I said as I poured myself a bowl of cereal.

"Morning, Edward," said Esme. "Would you like me to make you some eggs?"

"No, thanks," I said, sitting down at the table. I heard them both sigh and knew what was coming in three, two, one …

"Edward, you need to eat more than just cereal," said Carlisle. I rolled my eyes as I looked down at my bowl. I've been hearing this every morning for the past three days.

"So you keep telling me," I said. "I'm not that hungry."

"So you keep telling me," said Carlisle. "But you still need to eat more."

"I know, Dad," I sighed, looking up at him.

"I'm sorry, ok," he said. "I just worry about you. You've lost weight since Bella went into the hospital."

"I know," I said as I finished my cereal. I stood up and went over and washed my bowl and spoon. I turned around and looked at my parents. "I know that I've lost weight but I can't eat knowing that she needs me. I know I need to sleep more but I can't sleep without her with me. I've tried."

"Maybe you should try a sleeping pill," said Carlisle.

"No," I said, pushing off the counter. "I have to keep my senses sharp if I am going to be there for Bella."

"Edward, you need to sleep or you are going to get sick and then you won't be any good to Bella," said Carlisle. I closed my eyes as I ran my hands through my hair.

"I'm fine," I said, harshly. "I just need to get my wife home, where she belongs."

I turned and walked out of the kitchen and went outside to my car. I climbed in and headed off to the hospital. Every day for the past month had been the same. I heard the same thing from them every time I saw them. It honestly was really starting to piss me off a little. I mean, I was trying as hard as I could to deal with this. It's not like there is a hand book about how to deal with your parents while your wife is in the hospital undergoing a bone marrow transplant. Believe me, I looked.

I parked my car and headed inside. I smiled at the little old lady that was sitting behind the admissions desk as I came in and headed over to the elevator. I made my way over to the sink and started scrubbing in as Chloe came out of Bella's room.

"Hey, Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked as she came over to me.

"Sure," I said. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if your father has talked to you about Bella's home nursing care when she goes home?" asked Chloe.

"He said he was going to look for someone to come in and help," I said. "Why?"

"Well, I would like to do it," said Chloe. I cocked an eyebrow at her as I pulled on my sterile gown. "Look, I don't usually get so attached to patients in the ward. It's a dangerous move to make because unfortunately not all of them make it but I couldn't help it with Bella. She's such a fighter and, god, she's sassy."

"Oh, I know," I chuckled.

"I would like to stay with her until she is cleared," said Chloe.

"Would you really have the time to come in and help her?" I asked.

"Yes," said Chloe.

"Ok, I'll talk to Bella about it," I said. "I can't make that decision on my own. Not when it effects her, too."

"I completely understand, Edward," said Chloe. "Thank you for considering me."

"You're welcome," I said. "Thank you for taking such good care of her."

"You're welcome," said Chloe. "Now, get in there to your wife. She misses you."

"I miss her too," I chuckled as I pulled on my mask.

"Oh, I know," teased Chloe before she walked away.

I pulled on my gloves and headed into Bella's room. She was laying on the bed with her laptop in front of her. She looked up at me and smiled the most breathtaking smile I had ever seen on her face. That smile was the reason I could go through the sleepless nights and my parent's nagging. I would do anything to see that smile.

"Hey, handsome," she said. "Another long night."

"Yep," I said, sliding onto the bed with her. "Did you sleep any, beautiful?"

"A little," she said. "But not much. I don't sleep good without you either."

"I know," I whispered. I pointed to her laptop. "What are you looking at?"

"I was looking to see if Tricia's mom had sent me a message. She went in yesterday for her surgery and I haven't heard anything. Tricia said her mom would let me know how everything went," said Bella. "I'm worried about her."

"Me too. She's been through so much already," I said. "Did she send one?"

"Not yet," said Bella.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" I asked.

"Of course you can," she said.

"When you come home, we are going to need a nurse to come in for awhile and do some home health care for us," I said. "Chloe's asked if she could come do it. What do you think?"

"I would like that," said Bella with a smile. "I like Chloe. She's funny and she doesn't treat me like I'm fragile, you know?"

"I do," I said. "Ok, I'll clear it through the man but if you are ok with her, I'll let her know she can have the job."

"How was the man this morning?" asked Bella.

"The same," I sighed. "I know he's worried about me and you but his constant nagging doesn't really help. It's not like I can control the amount of sleep I get."

"I know," said Bella as the door to her room opened.

We both looked over to see Carlisle come in. I turned back and shared a look with Bella, who sighed softly with a frown on her face. I knew she hated the tension that has been between me and Carlisle over the last few days. Really, it's just that we were both so tired and ready to get Bella home.

"What's up, Doc?" asked Bella.

"How are you feeling today?" asked Carlisle, ignoring Bella's attempt to lighten the mood.

"I would be better if you two would stop being a couple of moody bitches to each other," said Bella. "I know you are irritated with Edward, Carlisle, but he's doing the best he can."

"I know, Bella," sighed Carlisle. "I'm sorry, Edward, if it seems like I am nagging you all the time. I'm just worried about you."

"I know you are, Dad," I said. "I'm sorry for being a little shit but I can't really do anything about the sleep issue right now."

"Fine," said Carlisle. "But don't expect me not to worry. It's kind of my job as a parent."

"I know," I chuckled. "You do your job well."

"I try," laughed Carlisle. He shook his head slightly and looked back at Bella. "So how are you really feeling?"

"I'm ok," she said. "I'm still really tired. I have a couple sores in my mouth but they aren't too bad yet."

"They were bound to come up sooner or later," said Carlisle. "If they get too bad, let us know, ok?"

"Ok," said Bella. "How's the engrafting going?"

"I haven't gotten yesterday's results back yet but everything looks really good, Bella," said Carlisle. "Hopefully only a few more days, sweetheart."

"I hope so," sighed Bella. "I'm really tired of this room."

"I know you are," said Carlisle. "Honestly, so I am."

"That makes three of us," I chuckled.

"Well, I'll be back later to check on both of you," said Carlisle.

"Ok," said Bella. "Tell Esme I love her."

"I will, sweetheart," said Carlisle before he turned and left.

Bella laid her head on my shoulder. I heard her sigh softly and looked down at her. She had her eyes closed. A few minutes later, her breathing picked up and I knew she had fallen asleep. I leaned my head down onto the top of her head and let sleep take me over.

I was shaken awake sometime later when I heard giggling and whispers. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to open my eyes but the giggling just got louder.

"Does he know that he talks in his sleep?" whispered Chloe.

"I don't think so," giggled Bella softly. "I've never told him."

"It's kind of cute," whispered Chloe.

"I know," whispered Bella. "I love to listen to him. Sometimes he tells me stories."

"Like what?" whispered Chloe.

"My favorite one is that he is a vampire who falls in love with this human girl," whispered Bella with a chuckle. "He goes on and on about how stubborn she is."

"It's cause I'm talking about you," I whispered softly.

"I should have known you were listening," giggled Bella as I opened my eyes. I found myself looking right into her chocolate brown eyes. "Sleep good?"

"Very," I said. "You?"

"Pretty good until you started talking," she smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"It was quite entertaining," snickered Chloe.

"I'm so glad I amuse you both," I laughed. "My mission is now complete."

"Well, I had better get back to work now that the show is over," chuckled Chloe.

"What did I say?" I asked as Chloe left.

"Not telling," chuckled Bella.

"Please?" I begged, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"You don't play fair," she whined.

"Never said I did," I chuckled.

"Fine," she sighed with a smile. "You kept saying something about being home and not letting me go. Good dream, I'm guessing?"

"I can't remember what I dreamed," I said. "I just know that I slept good. Finally."

"Me too," she sighed. "I wonder if Tricia's mom has sent me message yet."

"Why don't you check?" I asked.

"Ok," said Bella, sitting up slightly. She quickly logged onto Caringbridge and to her blog site. "She sent one."

I sat up next to Bella so I could read the message with her.

Dear Bella,

This is Tricia's mother, Denise. I hope you are doing good today. Tricia made me
promise before she went in yesterday to keep you updated on her condition. She's
doing…ok. They were able to remove most of the tumor and are keeping her in a
medically induced coma for a few days to help with the swelling.

Bella, I can't thank you enough for helping Tricia through the last few weeks. I'll
admit that I haven't handled any of this the way I should but I didn't know what to
do for her. I mean, how do you handle the news that your daughter has a brain
tumor? I'm thankful that she had someone who understands what she feels.

I'll admit that at first I was jealous of you, Bella. See, I couldn't help her the way you
did. I kept telling myself that I had to be positive for her. I had to have the right attitude.
I still believe that, but I didn't want to admit to her or to myself that she was really as
sick as she is. You were honest with her. You didn't treat her like a kid. That means so
much to me, Bella.

Tricia talks about you and your husband, Edward, all the time. You mean so much to all
of us. My boys, Ashton and Jack, keep asking us when Bella is coming over. I hope that
one day we do get to meet you in person. My family and I are praying for your recovery,
Bella. I want you to know that we consider you to be part of our family.

I'll let you know when anything changes,

Denise

"She sounds like a great mother," whispered Bella through her tears.

"Yes, she does," I whispered. "I hope that Tricia pulls through ok."

"Me too," whispered Bella, shutting her laptop. I knew she would send Denise a message later. It was private. I understood that.

As I climbed into my bed that night, I thought back over the day. Bella and I spent the rest of the day listening to her new iPod and working on our music. Bella insisted that I lay on the bed with her and I certainly wasn't going to object. I missed being close to her.

Eventually though I had to leave her. It was always the hardest part of the day for both of us. Bella tried not to let it show but I know watching me walk out of her room was so much harder than she let on. I came home and somehow managed to make it through dinner, forcing myself to eat the second helping of meatloaf that Esme put on my plate.

I was shaken out of my thoughts when my cell buzzed on the nightstand. I picked it up and flipped it open and found a text from Bella.

E-get on your webcam now. Love, B

I just chuckled and pulled my laptop off my desk and laid it on the bed next to me. I powered it up and turned on my webcam. I smiled when I saw Bella's beautiful face fill up my screen. I could tell she was laying in her bed. Most of the lights were off in her room but the one in the background.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," I whispered. "Anything wrong?"

"No," she said. "I just missed you."

"I missed you too," I said. I rolled onto my side and laid my head on my pillow. "I can almost feel you here."

"I know," she said softly before she yawned.

"Sleep, love," I whispered.

"I'm not tired," she said.

"Baby, I'm right here," I said, placing my hand on the screen. "You can sleep now. I've got you."

"I have you too," she mumbled, placing her hand next to mine.

"That you do," I whispered.

I watched her for a few more minutes as she fell sleep. Our hands stayed next to each other's as we drifted off to sleep together. Hopefully soon, I would have her back in my arms.