69
Big Changes
As I sit here on the edge of one of the greatest, and hardest,
moments of my entire life, I think back to all those who I
have met along the way. My journey over the past nine
months has not been an easy one, as anyone with cancer
knows. Those with family members with cancer understand
that, too.
I have met some truly remarkable people. I'm not just talking
about my amazing family, either. I'm speaking about those who
took the time to ask me how I felt everyday that I was sick, those
who made an effort to treat me like I wasn't a girl with cancer
but just a girl (who know who you are), those who left me
encouraging messages here on Caringbridge, calling me their
inspiration. I am not your inspiration, my dear friends, you are
mine. With each gesture, my heart grew to include each and
everyone of you. I thank you now for being my hero, my
inspiration, my hope for a bright and happy future. My life may be getting ready to undergo a huge change over the
next few months, but I hope that all my friends here on Caringbridge,
and at home, know that I will always be here when you need me. It's
just one way that I can pay it forward. I hope you all do the same.
I climbed out of the hotel bed and went over and stood in front of the window. I hadn't slept at all last night. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do what I knew I had to do today. Today, I would say goodbye to my Emmett, my Rose, my Jasper, my Alice, my Carlisle, and my Esme. They were all a huge part of me and I didn't know how I was going to be able to go to LA without them.
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" asked Edward. I turned and saw him laying on his side. His hair was sticking up everywhere.
"I was thinking about how hard it is going to be to say goodbye to everyone," I said. "I'm not sure I can."
"It's only for a few months, Bella," said Edward. I sighed as I went over and sat down on the side of the bed next to him.
"I know, Edward," I said. "But they've been a huge part of my life. I don't know…."
"It's ok," said Edward, pulling me down so that I was laying next to him. "I know it's scary, Bella. I mean, I'm scared too but you have to let them go. They will be waiting in New York for us when we are done with the tour."
"I know," I sighed. I looked over at him. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said. "We had better get in the shower or we are going to miss our flight."
"Ok," I whispered.
Edward and I climbed out of the bed and went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Neither of us said anything as we dried off. We went back into our room, pulled on our jeans and t-shirts, packed up the few items that had gotten scattered around our room, and headed down to the lobby to meet everyone else.
They were waiting for us with equally sad faces. This was going to be one of the hardest moments of our lives. We didn't say anything as we gathered our luggage and loaded up into the car. Our drive to the airport was full with the sounds of the passing cars, the tires turning on the road, and the soft sighs coming from all of us.
Carlisle pulled the car up in front of the airport and we slowly climbed out. We grabbed our luggage and went inside. Carlisle and Esme went over to the check in for their flight back to Forks while Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice, checked into their flights to New York.
I was glad that they would all be together in the city. Emmett and Rose were going to Columbia. Emmett had been shocked when he got his acceptance letter and an invitation to attend a summer science program offered to just a select few pre-med majors. I had been telling him for years that he was genius but he just wouldn't listen to me. Rose had enrolled in summer school, taking a couple of photography classes so she could get a jump on her college education as well.
Jasper and Alice would be attending NYU. Jasper was still trying to decide what he wanted to be when he grew up. He found a job working at an kids center in the city. I thought it was cool that he wanted to work with kids. Alice was going into fashion design. None of us were really surprised that she would choose that major. Really, she was going to be an amazing designer. She was going to spend the summer getting the penthouse ready for when Edward and I joined them in the fall.
Edward and I sat down about a week after we meet with Nick, Megan, and Brock and had a big discussion about our education. He was prepared to put off going to school for a few years while we focused on our music careers but I didn't want to do that. So after talking with Brock, we decided we could do both. We would spend the summer touring around the country, playing county fairs and smoky bars, and then in the fall, we would go to NYU and continue our education.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye for a while," said Esme, after the last of us made it through security. Our gates were spread out through the airport. "I expect a lot of phone calls from all of you, ok?"
"We promise, Mom," said Alice, hugging Esme. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too," whispered Esme. She pulled away and hugged Jasper. "Take care of my daughter, Jasper."
"I will," said Jasper. "Esme, thank you for being my mom when I needed one."
"You're welcome, Jasper," whispered Esme, through her tears. She pulled back and brought her hands to his face. "It's an honor to be your mother."
"Esme," whispered Rose, pulling Esme into her arms. "I….I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you, too, Rose," whispered Esme. "You are a remarkable young woman, Rosalie Swan. I am so proud of you."
"Thank you, Esme," cried Rose softly. Esme turned to Emmett next, who was already quite emotional.
"Emmett, I don't want to hear that you are slacking off in your studies, do you hear me?" asked Esme. Emmett chuckled through his tears.
"Yes, ma'am," he whispered. He engulfed her in his arms. "I won't let you down, Mom. I promise."
"Good boy," whispered Esme. She pulled back and looked over at me and Edward. "Now, you two had better be careful while you are on the road. If you need us, we will be there, ok?"
"We know, Mom," said Edward, hugging her. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too," she whispered. She pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around me. She moved her lips to my ear. "Bella, thank you for loving my son. I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too, Mom," I sobbed softly, clinging to her. "Thank you for taking care of everyone when I couldn't."
"Oh, Bella, that's what moms do," she whispered. She pulled away and stepped back as Carlisle cleared his throat and stepped up to all of us.
"Well, Jasper, Rose, I hope you know that Esme and I consider both of you to be ours," said Carlisle. "You've made us proud to be your parents."
"Thank you, Carlisle," said Rose, hugging him.
"Yeah, thanks," said Jasper, giving Carlisle a manly hug. Carlisle turned to Emmett next.
"Emmett, I'm very proud you," said Carlisle as a tear slipped down his face. "You are a good man and I know that you are going to be great doctor."
"Thank you, Carlisle," whispered Emmett, hugging him. "For saving my sister and being my dad when I needed one."
"Anytime, Emmett," whispered Carlisle. He pulled away from Emmett and turned to me. "Now, Bella, I know you are feeling good right now but if you even begin to feel-"
"I'll call immediately," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "I promise, Dad. I love you. Thank you for everything."
"I love you, too," whispered Carlisle. He kissed my forehead before he pulled back and looked at Edward and Alice. "You know, there was a time when I didn't think I would get to see you grow up, graduate high school, or get married. I guess those are three more things I can cross off my list. I am so proud of both of you. Anytime you need me, I'll be there, ok?"
"Ok, Daddy," cried Alice, throwing her arms around Carlisle. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, too, honey," cried Carlisle. She pulled away and melted into Jasper's waiting arms.
"Dad," whispered Edward through his tears. "There's so much I want to say."
"I know, Edward," whispered Carlisle, hugging his son. "I'm so proud of you, Edward. You're a good husband, a good man. I love you."
"I love you, too, Dad," whispered Edward. They pulled away and wiped their tears off their faces.
"Ok, well, call us when you get in," said Esme, wrapping her arms around Carlisle.
We assured her and Carlisle that we would call. Edward wrapped his arms around me as the six of us watched them walk down the terminal for their flight. I don't think either of them would ever know the impact that they had on my life. I turned to Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice. This was the moment I had been dreading.
"Well, I am going to go get something to drink before our flight so….I'll miss you," said Alice, throwing her tiny arms around me and Edward.
"We'll miss you, too," I said. "Make sure you get the apartment ready for us."
"I will," she chuckled. "Be careful, ok?"
"I promise," I said.
"Don't go doing anything dangerous," said Jasper.
"I won't," I said, hugging my best friend. "Take care of the pixie, ok?"
"You know I will," whispered Jasper. He kissed my forehead and turned to Edward. "Take care of her or I will kick your ass."
"I believe you," said Edward. "Same goes for my sister."
"I promise," said Jasper. He wrapped his arm around Alice's waist as they headed off to get a drink.
"So I guess you are going to be like a superstar by the time you get to New York, huh?" smirked Rose.
"You know it," I chuckled. "I'll probably have a Mohawk or something crazy."
"Just make sure you take pictures," teased Rose. She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm really going to miss you, Bella."
"Me too, Rosie," I whispered. "Take care of him. He's going to need you."
"I know," she whispered. She pulled away and looked over at Edward. "Let's go have a little talk about my girl here."
"Ok," chuckled Edward. He leaned down and kissed my cheek gently before heading off with her. I looked over at Emmett.
"So, Dr. Swan," I said. "You getting nervous yet?"
"Nah," he said, offhandedly.
"Liar," I chuckled.
"I'm terrified," he said. "I just have this feeling they are going to ask me to leave the first day."
"You'll be fine," I said.
"You nervous?" asked Emmett.
"Terrified," I said. "What if I get there and they decide they don't think I'm good enough anymore?"
"You are already a star, Belly," said Emmett, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm going to miss you. Promise me you will be careful."
"I promise," I murmured. "Promise me that you aren't going to give up."
"I promise," he whispered, as Edward and Rose came back.
"Emmett, thank you for saving my life," I whispered through my tears.
"Thank you for letting me," he cried softly. Emmett kissed my cheek before he shook Edward's hand. He wrapped his arm around Rose's waist and headed down the terminal.
"Em?" I called out. He and Rose stopped and looked back at me. "Don't forget me when I'm gone."
"Never," he called back. "I love you, superwoman."
"I love you, too, superman," I yelled.
He smiled before he and Rose turned back and headed down to Alice and Jasper. Edward wrapped his arms around me as we watched our brothers and sister disappeared in the crowd.
"Come on, love," whispered Edward in my ear. "They are going to be fine. Let's go."
"I know," I whispered, turning in Edward's arms. "I love you, Edward."
"I love you, too," whispered Edward.
He kissed me before we turned and headed down to our own gate. Twenty minutes later, we boarded the plane that would take us to LA. The plane that would take us to our new life.