My first venture into writing Supergirl. Hopefully, you guys enjoy this and want me to continue. I look forward to diving further into Supercorp shipping!
Note: Maybe include crisis/the aftermath of Crisis.
Let me know if you think I should continue. :)
Kara let out a shuddering breath as she slowly brushed her thumb over Lena's jaw, her eyes misted with tears. She wished that she could actually touch her best friend again, that it wasn't just a photo she was touching but after what she'd done she wasn't sure she would ever have the opportunity again.
There was a light knock at her door and Kara looked up, surprised that she hadn't heard anyone approaching. Usually, her super hearing would have picked it up. Her heart leaped with hope and she narrowed her eyes, using her x-ray vision on the door. Her heart sank in despair when she saw that it wasn't Lena.
"Kara?"
Kara begrudgingly set the photo she'd been holding onto the coffee table and got to her feet. She walked across the room, hastily wiping away her tears as she did so and opened the door to greet Nia.
"Nia." Kara managed a meek smile at the sight of her friend. "What are you doing here? Did Alex send you?"
As Kara stepped out of the way to allow her entrance, Nia stepped into the loft, closing the door behind her. "No, of course not. Why would you even think…" She paused at Kara's disbelieving stare. "Okay, maybe she called and mentioned you weren't feeling great but coming over was my idea, I swear! I brought potstickers!"
Kara blinked at the paper bag Nia was suddenly holding in front of her face. Usually, she'd be salivating at the thought of her favorite food but now her stomach just clenched uncomfortably at the thought of eating anything. "I-I'm not really hungry. Thank you though."
Nia's brow furrowed in confusion at the response. That definitely wasn't normal for Kara. "You heard me say potstickers, right?" She let her hand fall to her side as she watched Kara look away like she felt guilty at not accepting the offer of her favorite food. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for what happened with Lena."
Kara swallowed thickly against the lump that formed in her throat at the mention of Lena's name. "It's okay. I'm okay, I just need t-to figure out how to fix this. I'm not giving up on her. I can't give up."
Nia watched as Kara made her way back to the couch, sitting back down. She carefully set the bag in her hand on Kara's counter before she made her way toward her friend, sitting down next to her. "Maybe instead of the food, you could use some company instead?"
Kara nodded, tears clouding her eyes at the thoughtful suggestion. She didn't deserve such amazing friends. "I would like that. Thanks, Nia."
Nia moved closer to Kara, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to hug her from the side. "What are friends for?" She hadn't expected the rhetorical question to garner a response from Kara and her eyes widened when a broken sob escaped the girl of steel. "Oh, I-I'm sorry…"
Kara shook her head against Nia's shoulder. "It's my fault." She replied through tears. "I should have been a better friend, I should have been honest. Instead, I was just a...a coward. And look what's happened because of it."
"You did what you thought was best," Nia replied gently, her chest aching as Kara's tears soaked through her sweater. Her words were weak, not because she didn't believe them - she absolutely did, with every fiber of her being, but because she knew that Kara wouldn't believe what she was saying. "You don't have to blame yourself."
"But it's my fault!" Kara jerked away from Nia. Her eyes widened when she saw the surprise on Nia's face. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm not afraid of you, Kara. Well maybe a little, you could...actually snap me in two if you wanted to. But I know you wouldn't. I trust you."
"I should have trusted Lena." Kara murmured, lifting her hand to wipe her face with her sleeve. She cleared her throat, trying to compose herself. She had cried more than she deserved to already. Even if she wanted to curl up into a ball and sob until she couldn't anymore, she wouldn't. "Let's talk about something else. How are you and Brainy?"
A smile sprung to Nia's face at the mention of Brainy. "W-We're good. Great actually. But are you sure you want to talk about that?"
"Why wouldn't I? It's not like I broke up with my girlfrie-" Kara paused as her heart leaped in her chest for some unknown reason. "Lena is my best friend but that's all."
Nia was unconvinced, especially as she looked down and saw the photo Kara had obviously been clutching before she got there. She reached down, carefully picking it up and set it down on the coffee table in front of them.
Kara stared longingly at the picture. She missed those days. When Lena was her friend, when Kara could walk into a room and give the CEO a hug for no reason besides the two of them not seeing each other for a couple of days. When Lena didn't hate her enough to imprison her in the fortress of solitude. Kara wished she'd made more use of that time she'd had with Lena. Now she might never get the chance again.
"Kara?" Nia pressed gently, resting her hand lightly on Kara's knee. Blue eyes flicked back to her own. "Did you hear what I said?"
Kara silently shook her head.
Nia smiled gently. "I said how about I go and warm up those potstickers for us and you try to eat something? We can watch a movie to take your mind off things."
"Right…" Kara said faintly, still lost in her own thoughts. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus. Alex had said she would be stopping by later and Kara was well aware of how her sister could get when she didn't think Kara was taking good enough care of herself. "Thanks, Nia."
"Anytime."
As Nia got up to reheat their food, Kara sank into the back of the couch, her eyes glued to the picture. She had fought hard for Lena, sure, but she would do that for any of her friends...wouldn't she?
-
Lena stared blankly at the plain white ceiling above her bed. She couldn't sleep. Her thoughts tormented her too relentlessly for her to be able to catch a few precious minutes of sleep. Exhaustion would catch up on her. She knew that. Eventually, she would succumb to the blissful reprieve of slumber and she wouldn't have to think anymore. She wouldn't be stuck with thoughts of Kara racing through her mind.
No, she corrected herself sharply, her brow furrowing, Not Kara. Supergirl. She isn't Kara anymore. Not her Kara.
Maybe she had never been her Kara. Maybe her Kara wasn't even real.
Supergirl had lied to her, used her. Made Lena believe that Kara Danvers was someone she wasn't. Staring at the ceiling, Lena remembered the blinding fear she'd felt when she'd thought that Kara was in danger. She'd never felt fear like that before.
"Kara, the safest place for you to be right now is with me."
Kara must have thought her to be such an idiot for saying that. It was laughable. A Luthor trying to protect a Super. Her feeble attempts must have been hilarious to supergirl.
"Kara, are you okay?!"
"Yeah. Mercy must have hired terrible marksman. They totally missed me."
Lena gritted her teeth and twisted onto her side, curling into a ball as tears prickled at her eyes.
"I'm about to die but at least I lived without ever being a fool."
Lex's words rang in her ears as if he were in the very same room as her. He was right, she had been a fool. She'd been a fool to turn her back on her vow to never let anyone in. She'd been a fool to trust Kara as much as she had. She'd been a fool to not see what was right in front of her.
She hated Kara for doing that to her. She hated her. She hated her with every fiber of her being.
"Kara Danvers, YOU are my hero."
Lena buried her face into her pillow, crying silently into the soft cotton. She wished she could just make it stop, that she could just forget it all. She'd prefer anything to this utter misery she was feeling. Kara Danvers had crushed her, had humiliated her.
Had broken her as nobody else could.
-
"Alex! Alex, help me!" Kara's hands pounded against the small glass window of the pod she was confined in, her breath coming in short, panicked gasps. She could feel the burning agony of kryptonite coursing through her, seeping her power away.
Outside of the pod, there was darkness, pure darkness with no sight of the person she was calling for. Alex wouldn't be coming to save her this time. Nobody was going to come.
Still, Kara slammed her hands frantically against the glass. She couldn't get out. There was no escaping the prison she'd been trapped in. "Alex! ALEX!"
"ALEX!"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Alex caught Kara's arms as her sister bolted upright in bed. The force with which Kara had sprung up with almost had Alex tumbling to the floor but she managed to steady herself before she could fall. "Kara! Hey, you're okay. I'm here. It's okay."
It took a moment but finally, Kara's wide, tear-filled baby blue eyes focused on Alex's worried face. "A-Alex, I-I…"
"It's okay." Alex crawled further onto the bed and Kara fell forward into her arms, her tears coming thicker and faster.
"It's okay," Alex repeated, gently running her hand over Kara's hair. "It was just a nightmare. You're safe, I promise."
"I couldn't get out." Kara choked brokenly into Alex's shoulder. "I was calling for you a-and you weren't...I couldn't...a-and Lena…"
Alex gently shushed Kara, trying to calm her down while also trying to quell the sudden feeling of fury blooming in her chest. Lena had better hope that she didn't find herself in Alex's path anytime soon.
"I was so scared." Kara whimpered into the shirt Alex had borrowed from her when she'd gotten there. "I didn't think you were coming…"
"Of course I was coming," Alex said firmly. "You think a crazy Luthor and an impenetrable fortress would be enough to keep me away?" She felt Kara tense in her arms and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I'm just joking, Kara."
Kara nodded and slowly pulled away, wiping at her eyes. Alex didn't miss the subtle tremble of Kara's hands.
"It's been a long time since you had dreams like this," Alex remarked softly. She remembered Kara used to have them all of the time when she was younger. Nightmares. Panic attacks at being in an even slightly enclosed space.
Kara guiltily bowed her head. "I'm okay…"
"No, you're not." Alex disagreed with a sad smile. "It's okay not to be okay, Kara. It's only me here. You don't have to hide it from me."
Kara chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip for a moment before she nodded her head. "Will you stay here with me?" She jerked her head toward the pillow next to her own. "I don't want to…"
"Of course. I was sleeping here anyway. Nia's crashed on your couch. I don't think she wanted to leave until I got here and I was...really late." Alex said sheepishly. "I didn't have the heart to wake her."
As Kara lay down, Alex moved to lie next to her. As Kara turned onto her back to face the ceiling, Alex turned onto her side to silently watch Kara.
Kara was silent for a few long moments before she spoke, her voice trembling. "I really...I love her, Alex."
Alex knew that Kara wasn't talking about Nia. "I know."
Kara swallowed convulsively. "She's my best friend." She murmured before she turned onto her side.
Alex stared at Kara's back, wondering why her sister had felt the need to elaborate on what she'd meant. "Kara…"
"Goodnight, Alex."
Alex sighed softly. Kara was stubborn. If she didn't want to talk, she wasn't going to talk. "Goodnight."
-
A week later
"You can do it, Danvers." Kara mumbled to herself as she stared at herself in the mirror. Thankfully she had checked that nobody else was in the stalls before she'd started talking to herself in the mirror. "It's just a day at work, that's all. Just a normal day at work."
She tucked her hair behind her ears, letting out a slow breath. She hated to admit it but her work had suffered after everything that had happened with her and Lena. She could barely focus on anything anymore. Everything at CatCo reminded her of Lena.
She knew that she couldn't keep doing this to herself. She had to give Lena time and space, that was all. She needed to give Lena time to heal. As much as it pained her to do so.
Kara was torn from her thoughts by her phone ringing in her pocket. She quickly scrambled to answer it, noticing it was Alex. "Hey, Alex. I was…"
"Kara, it's Lena." Alex interjected before Kara could finish speaking. "Something's going down at L-Corp. There's talk of shooters. You can get there faster than us. I know she-"
Kara didn't let Alex finish what she was saying. She dropped her phone and tore her glasses off before fleeing the bathroom, followed by the building as her suit formed around her. Her super speed had never felt slower than at that moment and Kara was struck by the idea that she wished Barry was there to give her a boost.
"Come on, come on…" Kara gritted her teeth to push herself faster. It could have only been seconds but it felt like hours before she finally burst into Lena's office. She glanced frantically around, noticing the office was smashed up, the entire contents of Lena's desk seemingly on the floor.
Her super-hearing picked up the sound of a smash beneath her feet and without hesitation she dashed off again, making her way down to Lena's lab. She crashed through the door, still at a speed that would easily rival the Flash's. Her eyes widened when she saw Lena standing with her back against the wall, her eyes wide with fear as five heavily armed men pointed their guns at her and pulled the triggers.
Without thinking, Kara flew across the room, pressing Lena against the wall with her own body. Time seemed to speed up around her again as she cupped the back of Lena's head drawing it to her shoulder to shield her.
Bullets hit her back, falling harmlessly to the ground but the men kept firing, clearly alarmed at the sudden presence of Supergirl.
Kara held Lena throughout it, feeling the woman trembling in her arms. Her face was pressed into Kara's neck, her hands clutching at Kara's back under her cape. Kara couldn't feel the bullets but she could vividly feel Lena's nails digging into her shoulder blades through her suit.
Guiltily, Kara couldn't help but soak in the feeling of being so close to Lena. She'd missed it. Her warmth, her scent. Everything about her.
Finally, the shooting died down and Kara reluctantly pulled away. Lena's eyes met hers and Kara swallowed thickly. She hesitated for a moment before she remembered the men behind them and turned on them, anger blazing in her eyes.
"Shit…" One of the men muttered, struggling to reload his gun as Kara advanced on him. Just as he lifted his weapon, he was hit with a punch to the jaw, knowing him unconscious.
Lena let out a slow breath as Kara dealt with the mean who'd attacked her, disarming them one by one.
Kara let the final mercenary fall to the ground and she made her way quickly back to Lena. "Are you okay? W-Were you hit?!"
Lena silently shook her head. She was still shaken, she had to admit but she didn't want to let it show. "I'm fine, Supergirl."
Kara grimaced slightly but chose to ignore Lena's pointed comment. She looked down at Lena's wrist, frowning slightly. "You don't have the watch I gave you…?"
"I have it somewhere," Lena answered, trying to seem nonchalant about it. "I don't see the need for it anymore. You can have it back if you wa…"
"Why didn't you use it?! What the hell were you thinking, Lena? You could have died!"
Kara was close. Suddenly too close and Lena felt like she couldn't breathe. "I didn't want you!" She pushed at Supergirl's chest but of course, the Kryptonian didn't budge. "I don't want you. That's why I didn't call you."
Hurt flickered across Kara's expression, her anger replaced by pain. "Lena…"
Lena gritted her teeth and looked away. She couldn't stand it. The way Kara said her name. Gentle and reverently. Like she cared. She was momentarily distracted by Alex rushing into the room with a few other agents. "I believe I made my feelings perfectly clear, Supergirl. I don't want you here."
Kara's lip trembled. "Lena, I'm sorry. I just…I know you don't want to see me. I know you...hate me. That I hurt you more than...more than I can imagine but don't do this. Don't put yourself at risk to get back at me. I'm not worth it. I'm here if you need me. It doesn't have to be as a friend but I can protect you if you're in danger and..."
"You're rambling, Supergirl." Lena snapped, effectively silencing Kara. "You're the very last person I would want to protect me after what you've do-"
"Alright, enough!" Alex suddenly appeared between them, her hand going to Kara's arm. "Supergirl, leave. I've got this from here."
"Alex…" Kara's teary eyes turned to Alex. Pleading with her.
"I won't hurt her," Alex said softly. It was a promise she hoped she could keep. "Go."
Lena stared at Kara as the woman glanced at her one last time before she flew off. She barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief before Alex turned on her, anger written across her face.
"I understand that you're angry and hurt. That you feel betrayed." Alex said, keeping her voice low. "But what you're doing is cruel. What you've done to her is cruel!"
Lena's eyebrows shot up. "I'm being cruel?! What about what she's…"
"How could she tell you?!" Alex interrupted sharply. "You barely even liked Supergirl! She thought you'd hate her. That you'd stop being her friend."
"That's not the…"
Alex held up a hand. "I'm not finished! Do you know she's been having nightmares since you locked her in that prison?!"
"What?" Lena's brow furrowed in confusion. "She knew I wasn't going to kill her, she…"
"She's claustrophobic!" Alex hissed, trembling with anger. "And you attacked her with Kryptonite even though you know how she feels about it!"
Lena stayed silent, at a loss for words. She hadn't known that. How hadn't she known that?
Alex scoffed and turned to walk away. Lena may have still been her friend but Alex was too angry to even look at her. She was surprised to see that during her exchange with Lena and Supergirl, the other DEO agents had dragged the mercenaries out of there.
"Alex."
Alex paused near the door, debating whether she should respond to Lena or not. She turned her head slightly. "What, Lena?"
"I wasn't Supergirl's biggest fan at times," Lena spoke softly, the crack in her voice betraying her feelings. "But I was Kara Danvers'. I would have hoped she'd known that. That she would have trusted me. Clearly, I misread our friendship."
Alex let out a soft sigh. "She adores you, Lena. She made a mistake, that's all. Who doesn't?"
Lena opened her mouth to answer but she stopped as Alex walked away. Trembling, she slid down the wall, her hand going to her chest. She could still feel Kara's warmth.
TBC?