Thanks for the comments on this, I really appreciate them. I hope you all like the second chapter too.
Note: Ignoring Crisis for now (partially because I've yet to watch it). Might include it later. Might not.
Alex wasn't surprised when she walked into the DEO to find Kara pacing back and forth in front of the screens. Brainy was sitting nearby, watching Kara with a vaguely mystified expression.
Upon seeing Alex, Kara stopped pacing and walked briskly forward, her cape flowing behind her. "Where is she?"
Alex sighed softly at Kara's worried expression. "She's still at L-Corp. She's fine, I had someone check her o-"
"You left her alone?!" Kara exclaimed, her eyes wide. "She was just attacked. Do we even know who attacked her yet? Or why they attacked her? How could you just leave her there alone, Alex?"
"I left her there alone because she doesn't want anything to do with us." Alexa regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth. "I'm sorry."
"I need to go." Kara moved to walk past Alex only for her sister to step in her way, gripping her arms.
"Supergirl, stop," Alex said strictly, her eyes narrowing at Kara. "Not yet. She's not ready to hear what you have to say. Just give her some time, okay? Take a step back and calm down."
Kara bit the inside of her cheek, willing her eyes not to cloud with tears again. "Someone needs to protect her."
"I have agents stationed outside of L-Corp. Nothing's going to happen to her." Alex replied calmly. "She's my friend too. I'm not going to let anything happen to her even if she's being…" She paused, seeing Kara frown at her. "Go home and get some rest. Take a few days away from all of this to clear your head."
"What? I don't need time, I'm fine!" Kara shook her head emphatically. "Alex, I'm fine. I just need to get back to work...here and at CatCo."
Alex glanced around to make sure nobody was listening before she stepped closer to Kara. "You're not okay, Kara. We both know that."
Her brow still furrowed, Kara tugged herself free of Alex's light grip and turned, walking away.
"Supergirl!"
"I'm not going to see Lena," Kara called over her shoulder, a sharp edge to her voice. She wasn't sure why she was angry with Alex. Maybe she wasn't, maybe she was just angry with herself. Angry that because of her mistake she couldn't even go to Lena to protect her anymore.
"That did not seem to go well." Brainy commented in concern.
Alex flinched at his voice, turning her head quickly toward the left. She let out a breath, relieved that it was only him. "You don't say." She muttered before she walked away, her chest tight with emotion.
She didn't want to hurt Kara by being so blunt with her but she didn't want her sister putting herself in harm's way because of the guilt she felt either. She knew that where Lena was concerned, Kara had a tendency to dive in first and ask questions later.
-
Lena gritted her teeth as she stared hard at that damned watch, sitting on the coffee table in front of her couch. The hand clutching her glass of chardonnay trembled subtly, causing the wine to splash against the sides of the glass. She put it down to anger as well as nerves from what had happened that morning.
She hated having to look at that watch every day. It was if it were mocking her. There would always be some piece of Supergirl in her life, no matter how hard Lena tried to purge herself of the woman who'd built her up and so effortlessly torn her back down.
She set the glass of wine down on her coffee table and snatched the watch up. Getting to her feet she turned and drew her arm back, intending to throw the wretched thing out of the window only to pause at the last second.
Hesitating for a moment, she pressed her thumb firmly down on the button and awaited Supergirl's arrival. She had to admit, she didn't know whether the woman would actually show up or not. As the seconds ticked by it seemed to become less and less likely.
Finally, just as she was about to give up, she jumped in alarm at a sudden crash from her balcony. She hastened over, partially to check what the noise was and partially because she was sure she'd left her balcony door ajar.
She reached the door just in time to see Supergirl pulling herself shakily to her feet.
"You came," Lena said, surprised that Kara had even shown up. "You...crashed?"
Kara grimaced as she dusted herself off. "Maybe."
Lena was silent as she looked Kara over, taking note of how unsteady she seemed to be on her feet. She noticed that Kara's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were slightly glazed over. "Are you drunk?!"
Kara smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "I might be a-a bish...ah, a bit."
Lena stared long and hard at Kara who was clearly trying not to laugh at her own mistake, before she scoffed in disbelief and whirled around, storming back into her living room. "Unbelievable!"
"Sorry." Kara followed Lena hesitantly inside. "You called for me."
"I didn't expect you to turn up here drunk!" Lena whirled around to face Kara, anger clear on her face. "Why would you even FLY drunk?!"
"You...called me," Kara said, tilting her head slightly in confusion.
"STOP looking at me like that!" Lena snapped in annoyance. She lifted a hand, covering her eyes and sighed loudly in annoyance. Silence followed and after a long moment, Lena lowered her hand to see Kara biting her lip as she tried pointedly not to look at her. "Here. I called you to give back your watch. I don't need it."
Wide-eyed, Kara looked back at Lena. "I don't want it back."
"Well, I don't want it either." Lena moved forward, pressing the watch against Kara's chest. "Take it."
Kara frowned. "No."
"Take it, I'm not going to use it!"
"I don't want it back."
"Supergirl!" Lena pushed harder, trying to make Kara take the watch.
"Stop calling me that!" Kara's voice rose for the first time and Lena paused in surprise. She blinked, seeing tears lacing Kara's eyes. "It's Kara. I'm still Kara." She scrambled for her glasses and put them on. Lena watched as the suit disappeared in front of her eyes, leaving Kara standing in front of her in her usual attire.
Lena let her hand drop down to her side. "Fine. I'll keep it. But I'm not going to use it. Just get out."
"Lena." Kara reached out and grabbed Lena's arm. She pulled her firmly forward, maybe a bit too hard as Lena stumbled into Kara's chest, her hands instinctively gripping the Kryptonian's shoulders. "What can I do to make it better? Just tell me. Please."
Lena was caught off guard, both by the sheer desperation in Kara's voice and by how close they suddenly were. She could smell alcohol on Kara's breath, feel the beating of her heart through the soft sweater Kara was wearing. She swallowed hard, her own heart racing.
"Do you want to hit me?" Kara offered breathily. "I'm okay with that. I-I can...I'll let you."
Lena's stomach twisted uncomfortably. She remembered the simulations she'd created where she did just that but none of them had made her feel better. What's worse, Kara hadn't looked at her like she was now. "You're drunk, Su…" She paused just short of saying Supergirl again. "You're drunk. How does a Kryptonian even get drunk?"
Kara's grip tightened slightly as Lena made a feeble attempt to pull away. "It's...complisac...complicated."
Lena observed Kara for a long moment before she made up her mind. Now that Kara was there and drunk at that, Lena figured she may as well make use of the time. She was using Kara, she told herself. Taking advantage just like Kara had with her. With Kara's inhibitions mostly melted away, Lena was sure she could get some honesty out of the woman.
"You're going to have to sober up before you leave," Lena said after a moment, painfully aware that Kara was still holding onto her. She was still holding onto Kara for that matter. She had yet to let go of her shoulders. "I can't have you killing someone, can I?"
Kara nodded somberly, her heart leaping in her chest at the thought of getting to spend time with Lena. "So should I…?"
Lena rolled her eyes. "You can start by letting go of me. Then sit down. I'll bring you some coffee."
Kara reluctantly let her arms drop from around Lena and let her move back. She watched Lena turn and walk away from her and when the CEO disappeared she walked toward the couch, sinking down into the soft upholstery. She bit her lip, thinking about all of the times she'd sat on that exact couch with Lena. When they were friends.
Hearing footsteps, she looked up, blinking when she saw Lena walking back into the room with a mug cradled in her hands.
"Here." Lena handed the warm cup to Kara and sat down, further away than she usually would, crossing her legs.
"Thank you," Kara mumbled, looking down into the dark liquid.
"How much of this are you going to remember tomorrow?" Lena asked thoughtfully. She hastened to explain herself when Kara looked at her. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. This doesn't make us friends."
Kara shrugged in response to Lena's original question. "Alcohol usually doesn't infect my memories."
"Affect." Lena corrected automatically, her voice soft.
Kara bit the inside of her cheek, agreeing with a tiny nod of her head.
"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now," Lena said quietly, her eyes still fixed on Kara. She wasn't sure whether it helped or not that Kara looked like Kara instead of Supergirl. She was starting to think that in some ways it was making it worse. "Let's play a game, shall we?"
Kara's brow furrowed in confusion. That was the last thing she'd expected to come out of Lena's mouth. "A game?"
"Yes." Lena nodded in response. "I'll make a statement and you can tell me whether it was the truth or a lie."
Kara sighed softly. She wasn't sure she liked where this game was going. Still, she gave a hesitant nod. At least Lena was speaking to her. She took a quick sip of her coffee before she set her cup aside.
"Okay." Lena turned slightly to face Kara, trying not to let her hands tremble. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know the answers to the questions she was about to ask. "You trusted me."
"One hundred percent." Kara nodded emphatically.
"You still trusted your other friends more than me."
"Our other friends." Kara corrected with a frown. "Wrong. I trust you with my life. You've saved my life on countless-"
"You don't trust me with kryptonite." Lena interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth. "Which is why you asked James to break into my vault. You thought I would use it against you."
Kara was silent for a moment before she shook her head. "I don't trust anyone with kryptonite. Not even Alex. If it fell into the wrong hands it could be used against me or Kal."
"You only told me because you knew I would find out."
"No!"
"You used me."
"N-No. I would never-"
"You wanted to tell me."
"All of the time!"
"I'm your best friend."
"Of course."
"You care about me."
"I love you!" Kara burst out. "Of course I care about you. More than you know, I'm just...I was an idiot. I was a coward and I didn't want to put you in danger by telling you. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you I'd been lying to you for so long. I wanted to put it off for as long as possible because I was selfish and I didn't want to lose you!"
Lena stared long and hard at Kara. "You love me. Because I'm your best friend."
Kara's heart leaped with hope at the thought that she might be getting through to Lena. She reached forward, taking her hand and felt a wave of relief when she wasn't pushed away. "I love you completely."
Lena swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. "What does that even mean?"
Kara wasn't sure how to answer that herself. All she knew was that it was true. "Lena, I'm sorry. If I can do something to make this better just tell me and I'll do it. I'll do anything."
"Anything?"
Kara nodded without hesitation. She knew that Lena would never ask her to do anything morally wrong. "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."
Lena lifted her hand, lightly touching Kara's cheek. "Sometimes I think...how could I be such an idiot to be taken in by this? A change of clothes and no glasses...it's ridiculous." She felt her breath hitch as Kara's eyes closed and the Kryptonian leaned into her touch. She had to remind herself that Kara was drunk. That she was reading too much into what was happening. "But you don't look like Supergirl like this. You just look like Kara. Like my Kara."
Kara's lower lip trembled. "I am. Lena, you have to…" her eyes flew open as Lena's fingers drifted to her lips and she was silenced with a single finger pressed to them. She could only watch, trembling with anticipation as Lena's eyes drifted over her face. Finally, Lena's fingers slipped away from her lips, followed by her hands leaving Kara's face completely, coming to rest instead on her shoulders.
Kara still couldn't speak, fascinated by whatever Lena was doing. She felt hands gently move down her shoulders and arms to her biceps, pausing there for a moment.
"The girl of steel." Lena murmured to herself thoughtfully, her eyes resting on Kara's arms. "I wouldn't have imagined you could lift a building."
Kara nervously licked her lips. "I'm stronger than I look."
"Looks can be deceiving, I suppose." Lena's eyes grew dark again and she drew her hands away, letting them fall into her lap instead. "You're a lot of things you don't seem to be."
Kara clenched her hands into fists, suddenly feeling chillingly sober. "Can I ask you a question?"
Lena scoffed slightly at the audacity of the suggestion but nodded for Kara to go ahead.
"Are you ever going to be able to forgive me?"
Lena frowned at the question. "I don't know."
Kara blinked quickly, taking a deep breath. "Do you still care about me?"
Lena shook her head slowly, her hair falling into her face as she bowed her head.
"O-Oh." Kara had feared that Lena's response would be what it had been but she'd underestimated how much it would.
"You idiot."
"What?"
"I said you're an idiot!" Lena's words were suddenly loud and choked with emotion. "Do you think I would be this angry with you if I didn't care?! I was i...I cared about you more than I've ever cared about anyone else. I love you. And I hate you."
Kara shuffled forward slightly, her hand coming to rest on Lena's knee. "Lena…"
Lena sniffled softly and brushed away her tears. "You should leave. You seem sober enough now."
Kara wanted to argue, she wanted to stay, but she nodded silently in response and slowly stood up. "Yeah. I'll see you...um...call me if you need me. Please."
Lena didn't answer, choosing to stare at the floor instead.
Kara lingered for a moment, wanting nothing more than to hug the brunette as tightly as a human could endure. Instead, she took a deep breath and headed for the balcony.
-
"Where have you been?!"
Kara faltered as she entered her apartment to find Nia waiting for her, sitting at the table. "Nia? What are you doing here?"
"Movie night, remember?" Nia frowned, getting to her feet as Kara walked further into the apartment. "We were drinking, talking…? Do you remember?"
"Oh, right." Kara looked toward the crumpled blankets on the couch in the living room. "Sorry. I guess I ruined our night, huh?"
Nia exhaled loudly. "I'm not angry, I was just worried about you. You said you can't usually get drunk unless you drink that...stuff you had and then you just took off without saying anything!"
Kara grimaced, rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry, I...had to take a call." She slipped off her shoes and walked to the couch, sinking down onto it with a weary sigh. The walk home had done nothing to calm her nerves. "Was I gone long?"
"About an hour." Nia moved to sit down next to Kara, tucking her legs underneath herself on the couch. She let her elbow rest on the back of the couch, her cheek coming to rest on her hand. "Lena?"
Kara looked at Nia in surprise. "How did you know?"
"I may have called Brainy," Nia replied with a small smile. "He mentioned that there was a 99.2496 percent chance that you'd rushed off to see Lena."
"That high?" Kara mused softly as she pulled the blankets over her legs.
Nia bit her lip, doing her best not to tell Kara that she was becoming somewhat predictable. "So what happened? Why did she call you?"
"I crashed on her balcony." Kara groaned at the thought of how clumsy she'd been. She almost wished the alcohol hadn't worn off so quickly so she wouldn't have to think about what a fool she'd made of herself until the next day. Like a normal person. "She tried to make me take the watch back and I offered to let her hit me if it would make her feel better."
"Kara." Nia's voice somehow conveyed concern and disapproval.
"I know, I know. It's messed up and Alex would be pissed if she heard me talking like that." Kara ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not thinking straight. I just want to be able to do something to fix this, I want to…" She paused as Nia frowned. "And now I realize that all I've talked about since you got here is Lena. Rao, I'm a horrible friend."
"No, you're not. Trust me, I'm the only person in this room who's qualified to say what kind of friend you are. But this needs to stop. You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. You've been punished enough already." Nia lightly patted Kara's forearm. "Tell me what else happened. Without beating yourself up this time."
Kara managed a slight smile at that. "She asked me questions about our friendship. If I trusted her, why I didn't want her to have kryptonite. If I even cared about her…" Her brow furrowed at that as she recalled her answer. How easy it was to tell Lena that she loved her. "She told me that she hates me. I deserved it, I suppose. I asked. She said she…" She hesitated, biting the inside of her cheek.
Nia hummed quizzically.
"That she cares about me too." Kara finally finished, still lost in her own thoughts. "She did something else too but...I'm not sure what to think about it. It was like she was inspecting me."
"As the alien of the two of you, isn't 'inspecting' your job?"
Kara couldn't help but laugh at the comment, surprising even herself. "I mean she wanted to figure out how she didn't know I was Supergirl."
"Okay. And…?"
Kara closed her eyes, recalling the way Lena's hands had run gently down her shoulders, the brush of Lena's fingers against her lips. She remembered fighting the urge to lean in and kiss Lena until the hurt went away. "Nia?"
"Yeah?"
"I think…" Kara swallowed hard, turning her head to look at Nia. "I think I'm in love with Lena Luthor."
TBC