A/N: Hello! Sorry it has been a while since I posted. Life got in the way. Plus, I wanted to make sure I was representing what I wanted in this chapter. (I pulled out all my notes from therapy and my work books LOL). Disassociation when it comes to Trauma is different for many people. I have based Tokoyami's disassociation based off my own personal experience. I also tried to get some metaphorical examples of a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) method that worked well for me, as well as the kind of support I needed to Start DBT to move into a more serious EMDR therapy. If you have experienced disassociation before, your experience may be different from mine. That is totally fine. But this is how my experience while working through my own trauma was like. I, as a writer, believe it is extremely important to be knowledgeable about the content I am writing and pull from my personal experiences. If you are not wiling to put in the effort to research a serious topic and represent it, then you are not representing the topic well. Some things are too important to just throw in as a plot device. (steps off soap box). Alright. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I love knowing your thoughts and opinions.
Love you all,
Traditional Twist
Chapter 16
Bakugou watched as he saw a fully clothed, drenching wet Tokoyami being guided to his room. The blonde felt the grip on his leg tighten. He glanced down to see Sora practically burying her face into his leg.
He placed a hand on her head. "Let's go sit down."
Sora shook her head. "Fumi needs help."
"Yeah," Bakugou said. "Hawks and multi-limbs are taking care of him."
"I didn't mean to make him step forward." Sora's voice cracked as she spoke.
"You made him step forward?" Bakugou asked.
Grandma was talking about me. I should have stayed out of sight." Sora rocked her forehead along the curve of Bakugou's knee. "If I would have done that, then maybe Fumi would have kept his distance."
"That's fucking stupid," Bakugou spat. He knelt next to the girl. "Look at me. You can't control anything anyone else does. If they decide to do dumb shit, that is their fault. It's not your fault you were acting like a normal person. Got that?" Sora nodded. "Good. Let's go sit on the couch. We can watch one of those dumb shows you like so much."
"Can we watch Quirks of our Lives?" Sora asked.
Bakugou stood up and led her to the couch. "Sure, whatever." He plopped down on the cushions and turned on the television. The screen flashed until he came upon the soap opera the tiny bird wanted. Sora didn't say much after that.
Mirio watched, wide eyed, as the small girl settled on the couch next to Bakugou. How could she feel so comfortable with such an abrasive person, yet still be wary of himself? He felt Eri grab onto his hand.
"Did I do something to hurt Sora?" Eri asked.
"Of course not!" exclaimed Mirio. "You did nothing wrong."
"I wish I knew how to make Sora feel better."
Mirio wrapped an arm around Eri. It was so heartwarming to see her so concerned for her friend. "Me too. All we can do is be nice right now."
At that moment Aizawa walked in through the door. "I'm here. Where are Sora and Fumikage?"
Mirio pointed to the couch here Sora sat next to Bakugou. She had somehow crept closer to Bakugou, now leaning against the teen. Bakugou's eyebrow was twitching with annoyance, but he said nothing.
Aizawa nodded. "Was she touched?"
"No, only Fumikage," informed Mirio.
"Where is he?"
"He was led up stares by Hawks and another student."
Aizawa sighed. "I'm going to head that way. You and Eri head home." Aizawa headed for the elevators as Mirio took Eri by the hand and guided her out of the dorms. The teacher growled under his breath as he reached the elevator. "That woman is lucky I wasn't there."
Hawks released Tokoyami as he entered the teens room. There was so much running through the hero's mind. He was mad that someone's own grandmother would be so selfish and uncaring. He was concerned that Fumikage had dissociated as he did. And he was worried about Sora who was down stairs with a Bakugou. Needless to say, the hero had a lot to do, and no clear instructs on what to do first aside from get Fumikage out of his wet clothes. Though after how today's events had transpired, he did not think he, as an adult, should be the one helping the boy out.
"Stay with him," Hawks instructed Shoji. "I don't want him alone after that. I need to check on Red, as well. I will be right back."
"Right." Shoji nodded his head as Hawks left the room. The multi-armed teen turned to his friend.
Tokoyami was sitting on the floor. He had his arms folded and resting on his knees. His head was pressed firmly on his forearms. His red, glistening eyes stared at the dresser in front of him. "How could I let this happen again?" He whispered.
"Tokoyami, you didn't let anything happen," said Shoji.
"I let her get me. And she did it in front of Sora too." Tokoyami buried his head into the wet clothes.
"N-no," Shoji stuttered. "You need to get dressed."
Dark Shadow appeared out of Tokoyami's back and pulled at his master's head. "What's the point? I'm disgusting." Tokoyami continued to speak incoherent mumbles into his knees.
"You are not disgusting," Shoji said with a bit of surprise. Tokoyami didn't stop. Shoji tried clearing his throat to get some sort of response.
"He's not talking to you," Dark Shadow said to Shoji.
"What?" Shoji realized that Tokoyami wasn't fully there. Though he was moving and talking, he was not mentally out of the event. Whatever had happened, had shut Tokoyami off from reality.
"He is talking to himself. He may be like this for a few hours," Dark Shadow informed Shoji.
"A few hours?" Shoji was shocked.
Dark Shadow nodded. "Hopefully he will just fall asleep."
Shoji stood in silence as he watched his friend continue to mumble to himself. "I don't know what to do." Shoji admitted.
"If you grab some dry clothes, I will get him dressed."
Shoji nodded and walked to Tokoyami's closet. He grabbed a large shirt and a pair of pants. The larger teen handed Dark Shadow the clothes, then turned around and faced the door. "I wish I could do more," he thought.
As Hawks raced down the hall, he was halted by a white scarf wrapping around his arm. "What the?" His eyes met the glowing red of Eraserhead's face.
"What the hell happened?" Aizawa demanded.
Hawks pulled at the bandage, reeling himself closer to the U.A. teacher. "That old woman is a demon. She just jumped on him in public."
Aizawa's eyes widened. "She did what?"
"You heard me." Hawks felt the bandages fall from his arm. "Fumikage is changing. I need to check on Red."
"You left him alone?"
"Of course not! The kid with multiple arms is with him. Fumikage is so upset he is dissociating. I'm not leaving him alone, but I'm also not going to help him get dressed. The last thing he needs is another adult all over him."
Aizawa frowned. He couldn't argue with Hawks' logic. He didn't want the hero to leave his mentee. "Bakugou has Sora. She will be fine."
"I'm trying to take care of both kids," Hawks said. "I can't ignore one. I bet that is how they got into this scenario." He moved passed Aizawa. "You can go knock and wait outside while Tokoyami gets dressed. I'll be back up once I've given him some space. Besides, he's never alone. Dark Shadow will know more what to do than I will."
With great haste, Hawks rushed down to see Sora sitting next to the blonde teen on the couch. He paused, catching his breath before sauntering over to the couch and sitting down.
"Hey, Red."
Sora turned to Hawks with a solemn expression. "Is Fumi okay?"
"He will be," Hawks said as he ran a hand over his head.
"Why aren't you with him?" Bakugou scoffed.
Hawks narrowed his eyes at the blonde. Bakugou hadn't looked away from the TV. "I wanted to check on Red."
"Pipsqueak is fine," Bakugou said defensively. "You could help if you got Tokoyami back down here."
"It's not that simple," said Hawks.
"You can't make Fumi better?" Sora asked.
Hawks waved his hands. "No! That's not what I mean at all. Some things take time."
Sora lowered her head. "It's hard to not think about Grandma." She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled herself close. Silent tears willed her eyes as a small squeaky whimper was released from her mouth
Bakugou picked up the remote and muted the television. He cracked his neck and turned to Hawks. "Well?"
"Well what?" Hawks asked.
"Do something!"
Hawks froze. Seeing Sora cry, he wasn't what to do. The child had the right to be scared. She had the right to cry. She was small, and scared. What all could he do? "It will be okay, Red. I know this was scary but-"
"OH MY GOD!" Bakugou yelled. He grabbed the small bird child and turned her towards him. He put a finger to Sora's beak. "Don't cry."
Hawks' eyes grew wide as a sniffling Sora looked Bakugou in the eye. "But I am sad."
"You're letting your stupid grandmother make you sad. You need to fight back. We won't let her do shit to you, and this shit will stop with your brother, too."
"But what if you're not there?" Sora wiped the tears from her eyes. "What if you are not there to stop it?"
"Well duh! I can't always be there. You're going to be alone at someone point. And yeah, sometimes shit is going to happen. But if you keep crying about it or shutting down, then it won't stop." Bakugou tapped the girl's head. "You can hear me in here."
"You can tell me how to make it stop?"
"Maybe." Bakugou shrugged. "I will always tell you to fight."
Sora nodded. "You want me to fight."
Bakugou leaned back. "Exactly. Are you going to start fighting back?" Sora nodded. "Good. And if you forget, I'm right here."
"Can we watch TV now?" Sora asked. A twinkle of determination filled her eyes. "I think not thinking about it will help me fight."
"Sure." Bakugou unmuted the television. "I don't see why you like this show though. I thought you would want cartoons."
Hawks was stunned the girl was now sitting up, closer to Bakugou. She climbed next to the boy's side. "Mom would always turn this on before she took her medicine. I just wanted to be with her, so I started watching. Now I can't stop."
Bakugou stiffened at the girl's proximity to him. He was clearly uncomfortable, but simply leaned back in his seat. "You better not get me invested in this shit."
It took hawks a moment to process what had happened. Somehow Bakugou had the right instinct to help that girl. "How did you do that?" Hawks asked.
"Do what?" Bakugou mumbled.
"Look at her." Hawks pointed to Sora, who was no entranced with the show.
Bakugou shrugged. "Pipsqueak needs to learn she can fight back."
"How can you care so much and not act it?"
"Hey! Just cuz I don't get involved in all the emotional shit doesn't mean I don't care." Bakugou motioned his head upstairs. "Doesn't mean I don't give a shit about him, too. I know he'd be pissed if she was left alone." He turned to look Hawks in the eyes. "You're supposed to be the number two hero, right?
"I am," Hawks stated.
"Then start acting like it and do shit for him upstairs."
Hawks was baffled at Bakugou's statement. He was right though. He really didn't need to check on Sora for her sake. He finally got an idea on how to make the Tokoyami children feel safe, and now that Sora was on her way to being fine, Hawks was going to Help his pupil in the same way.
The pro hero rushed upstairs. Eraserhead was waiting outside Tokoyami's door. "You're back."
Hawks nodded and motioned for Aizawa to move. "I'll be taking Fumikage for a bit."
"Taking him?" Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "Do you think he's really up for leaving?"
"I don't," said Hawks as he grabbed the door handle, "but he is not staying in there." He opened the door and walked in.
Tokoyami had moved. He was now huddled up on his bed, in new and dried clothes. Shoji stood off to the side, as he talked with his friend's quirk. Both were surprised when Hawks walked in.
"Hawks," said Shoji. "You returned."
Hawks nodded as he moved swiftly to Tokoyami. He grabbed the teens arm and pulled. "Get up. Let's go."
"What?" Shoji flinched as he saw the hero pull his friend. Tokoyami slid on the ground. Hawks managed to pull him to his balcony window. The winged hero opened the window.
Dark Shadow uncoiled from around his host. "Hawks he's not all here. It will just take time. He will come to in a few hours."
"I'm not giving him hours." Hawks bent down and wrapped his arms around Tokoyami's torso. "We'll be back." He flapped his wings and flew off.
Hawks flew across the U.A grounds to an open field on the far side of campus. He plopped the teen on the ground. Tokoyami was blinking in a dream like state. Dark Shadow grew and confronted Hawks.
"What the hell? He's not ready to be out here!"
"He needs to fight it," said Hawks. He knocked the teen over.
"He can't fight!" Dark Shadow yelled.
"He needs to." Hawks kicked the teen. "Get up! Fumikage, you need to stand up. I can't help you if you don't try. Snap out of it."
"Stop!" Dark Shadow lunged towards Hawks, but the hero dodged.
"You can't keep defending him. He has to protect himself."
"It's my job to protect Fumikage!" Dark Shadow roared.
"Fumikage!" Hawks yelled as he dodged. "Get up and take control!"
Those words echoed in Tokoyami's head. He heard the voices. Hawks and Dark Shadow shouting. He felt the ground. It was cool and moist. Was he on grass? The teen shook his head and blinked. He was outside. Hawks and Dark Shadow were yelling… about him!
"Fumikage! Snap out of this! You can't just go away! What if you were on a mission?" Hawks sounded out of breath as he dodged Dark Shadow.
"Fumikage needs time! I will protect him!"
Dark Shadow tugged at Tokoyami's chest and the teen sat up. The shadow grew larger, and more ferocious. Still in a slight daze, he saw the fight unfolding before him. Why was he outside? Why was Dark Shadow fighting Hawks.
Hawks noticed Tokoyami sitting. "Tokoyami! Take control of your quirk. Take control of your feelings."
"My feelings?" Tokoyami muttered. Then the memory hit. It was the assault while out with Hawks that set him off. Had Dark Shadow been attacking Hawks the entire time?
"Dark Shadow!" Tokoyami's voice choked.
The Shadow paused its actions before dwindling in size and snaking back to his master. "Fumikage!" The shadow nuzzled Tokoyami in joy.
"Dark Shadow, you need to stop. Return." The shadow obeyed and disappeared back into the teen's body.
Hawks smiled as he caught his breath. He walked over to his pupil and stuck out his hand to pull him up. "You had me worried, kid."
"I apologize," Tokoyami said as he was pulled to his feet. "I also apologize for Dark Shadow."
"He did nothing wrong," Hawks assured. "This did show me we need to look into getting you and Sora some help. Can you agree to that? That if I set it up, you two will talk to somebody."
"I can agree to that," Tokoyami said with a nod.
Hawks placed his arm around the teen's shoulder. "Good. Then let's get you back to campus."
