IMPORTANT NEWS! James Gunn, the director of the GOTG films, has been wrongly fired by Disney for STUPID reasons. We need to sign a petition to save his career and let him direct more GOTG films, which I have already done. Please sign it!
Also, to Guest David, please try not to overwhelm the review box with your long notes. I appreciate and understand your passion, but please understand, it's for reviews only. And Shinigamilover2 wanted me to tell you that he feels the same way.
NOTE: There will probably be grammar mistakes which I will fix later.
"Ugh, when is he going to get here already?" Rocket growled impatiently as he continued to fidget in his chair. Little Groot sat in his lap and was nibbling on one of the leaves on his arm. The raccoon noticed this and gently pulled Groot's arm away from his mouth. "Hey, I told you to quit doing that."
The Guardians all sat in the waiting room of the Nova Corps headquarters, waiting for the arrival of the mutant Turtle they came to love as a little brother. Sure they had some thrilling adventures since the epic battle on Xandar, but it just wasn't the same without the hyperactive, pizza-loving ninja. So when they were assigned to protect the Anulax batteries from the Abilisk, they begged Nova Prime to send someone to pick up their friend.
"He'll be here," Gamora assured him. Peter Quill, or "Star-Lord" as he preferred to be called, stood next to her, listening to his tunes on his Walkman.
"Yeah, what makes you so sure?" Rocket mumbled, looking a little guilty. "I yelled at him before he left."
Drax, who also sat in a chair, nodded in agreement. "And you also called him a 'freak'. And you tried to shoot him in the face."
Rocket shot him an annoyed "Really?" look.
"You know Mikey," Gamora said with a little smile. "He's very forgiving, and he won't let us down. He'll show up."
At that moment, Mikey peeked his head in and nearly squealed when he saw his friends. Gamora And Quill had their backs to him, so with a mischievous smile, he snuck up behind him and slowly reached for Quill's headphones. Then he snatched them off, causing the human to jump in surprise and turn around. Mikey put them on his head and listened to the lyrics of the song that was playing.
...time of your life
Ooh, see that girl, watch that scene
Digging the dancing queen
Mikey looked up at Quill and grinned. "'Dancing Queen', huh?"
Quill only chuckled. "ABBA was my Mom's favorite group." Mikey gave him back the headphones and they did a bro fist. "It's great to see you again, man."
Gamora was the next to greet Mikey and she gave him a warm hug. "We've really missed you, Mikey."
Before Mikey could even say something to her, a pair of strong hands ripped him out of her arms. Drax laughed heartily as he pressed Mikey's face against his rock-hard bare chest and gave him a bear hug. "Oh, words cannot describe how much I have missed you, Michelangelo!"
Mikey yelled out words that were muffled by Drax's chest, and when the burly man squeezed harder, a cracking sound was heard by everyone in the room.
"Dude, I think you're crushing and smothering him," Quill told Drax.
"Oh." Drax quickly let go of Mikey, who let out a wheezing gasp and rubbed his now aching neck. "Sorry. I couldn't control myself."
Rocket put Groot down on the chair and hesitantly joined the group. He nervously wringed his hands as he approached Mikey, and with his tiny finger, he tapped the Turtle on his shell. When Mikey turned around, the raccoon gave him a shy smile. "Uh, hey, kid."
Mikey smiled warmly at Rocket and grabbed him in a hug, lifting the raccoon off the ground. "Hey, Rocket. Did you miss me, bro?"
"Eh, a little," Rocket fibbed, thankful that the Turtle couldn't see the tears that were building up in his brown eyes.
Quill smiled. "He's lying. He totally missed you. You should've seen him begging Nova Prime to let you come-"
"Zip it, Quill!" Rocket snapped.
Mikey chuckled and put Rocket down, then he noticed something small sitting on one of the chairs. It almost looked like...
He gasped when he recognized the tiny creature. "Groot...?" he whispered.
"I Am Groot," the wooden baby squeaked as he waved his hand.
"GROOT!" Mikey ran to the chair and picked up little Groot, snuggling him against his freckled cheek. "Groot, you're back!" he tearfully laughed, his heart filled with joy and relief. "And..." He looked down at the creature and gently poked him in the chest. "And you're soooooo cute and tiny! Awwww, I could just eat you up!" He playfully nuzzled Groot's head with his beak, all the while cooing at him. "Yes, I could! Yes, I could!"
Groot pushed Mikey's nose back and frowned at him. "I Am Groot."
"Awww, I love you too, Groot."
Rocket chuckled and shook his head. "Uh, no, he said, 'Don't call me cute.' He doesn't like to be called that."
"Oh, sorry," Mikey apologized to Groot, the huge grin still on his face. "I'm not gonna lie, though. You are cute."
Leo decided to walk into the room after Mikey said his hellos to all his friends and cleared his throat, catching their attention. "Um, hi," he said with an awkward smile.
"Oh, hey," Quill gave him a friendly grin. "You're Mikey's brother, right?"
"Yeah," Leo took the captain's hand and shook it. "Leonardo, or you can just call me Leo."
"Whoa, whoa, wait, what's Fanboy doing here?" Rocket asked Mikey.
Leo raised a confused eye ridge. "'Fanboy?'"
"Leo's coming with us!" Mikey happily announced. "So he doesn't have to worry about me back on Earth."
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have one more person on board," Quill said with a shrug. "The more, the better. Now that the crew's all here, let's get going. And after we've collected our payment, we'll all go to Xandar's best bar to celebrate the reunion. My treat."
"Meaning I end up paying for it, right?" Rocket grumbled as he took Groot from Mikey and placed him on his shoulder.
"But we're not old enough to drink yet," Leo said, referring to himself and Mikey, who roughly nudged him in the shoulder.
"Dude, quit cramping our style," Mikey whispered to him, embarassed by his brother's mother henning.
"Yes!" Drax laughed, pulling out one of his knives. "I look forward to slaying the battery-eating beast!"
"You look forward to slaying anything," Rocket sassed.
"And you like to blow up people," Gamora retorted, earning a dirty look from the raccoon.
As the entire crew headed toward the exit, Leo pulled Mikey aside and whispered, "Mikey, why did he call me 'Fanboy'?"
"Oh, uh, heh," Mikey rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "I may had told him about your...obession with Space Heroes."
Leo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course." Great. The Guardians of the galaxy thought he was a nerd instead of a cool leader.
They were now on one of the main planets of the Sovereign solar system, and they stood on the platform of a high tower that served as the planet's main power source using the Anulax batteries. The batteries themselves were stored in large conductors that encircled them. The skies were dark and stormy, with lighting constantly flashing and thunder roaring, but not a single raindrop fell down upon then, which was very odd. The longer they waited for the monster to arrive, the more anxious the Turtle brothers became. They both wore Aero-Rigs, which were metal harnesses with back-mounted jets and of Rocket's design.
"Showtime, a-holes!" Quill announced as he looked down at his tracking device, which was beeping. "It will be here any minute."
Mikey and Leo simultaneously reached for their weapons, preparing for battle.
"Which will be its loss," Gamora remarked as she loaded her large gun.
"I thought your thing was a sword?" Quill asked her.
"We've been hired to stop an inter-dimensional beast from feeding on those batteries, and I'm gonna stop it with a sword?" she asked him rhetorically.
Leo heard her and slowly moved his hands away from his swords. "Um, does anybody have a gun I could borrow?"
Gamora tossed him a smaller gun, then she turned to Drax, who was still bare-chested. "Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's Aero-Rigs?"
"It hurts," Drax simply said.
"It hurts?" Gamora repeated with a raised eye ridge.
He looked at her a bit embarrassed before answering softly, "I have sensitive nipples."
Rocket, who had been working on a set of speakers, immediately broke into laughter and mocked Drax. "'My nipples hurt! Oh, goodness me!'"
"What about him?!" Drax asked the others angrily as he pointed to Rocket. "What's he doing?"
"I'm finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work," Rocket said as he gestured to the speakers.
"How is that a priority?"
"Blame Quill! He's the one who loves music so much!"
Quill shook his head. "No, I actually agree with Drax on this. That's hardly important right now."
"What?!" Mikey gasped dramatically, then pointed an accusing finger at the human. "You speak blasphemy! Of course we need music! It pumps the soul! Who are you and what have you done with the real Peter Quill?"
"He's got a point, Mikey," Leo said as Gamora showed him how to use his gun. "This is a matter of life and death here-"
ZAP!
Leo had accidentally pushed the button to fire and a laser blast nearly missed Rocket's foot by an inch. The raccoon yelped and jumped before glaring at the Turtle, who grinned at him sheepishly and apologetically. Mikey facepalmed in embarrassment.
"You sure it was a good idea to give that putz a gun?" Rocket gruffly asked Gamora.
Just then a couple of Orlonis scurried past Rocket and Mikey's feet as Groot kicked and threw punches at them. The tiny creature looked up at them and stood with his chest puffed out in an attempt to look tough. "I Am Groot."
"They were not looking at you funny," Rocket scolded him.
Suddenly a booming sound provoked everyone to look up at the sky. The clouds parted as a bright, colorful portal opened up, and crawling out of it was a huge, terrifying creature with tentacles and multiple rows of sharp teeth. It let out a roar as it plummeted straight toward them.
"Holy Chalupa," Mikey gulped.
"Well, that's intense," Rocket muttered fearfully.
Drax drew his knives out and charged at the beast with a war cry as soon as it landed on the platform. Everyone else followed suit, except for Mikey and Groot, who stayed next to the speakers. Mikey didn't want to leave baby Groot's side, afraid that the little guy might get hurt in the midst of all the chaos. Groot connected two cables, which turned on the speakers, and to Mikey's surprise and delight, "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra started playing.
Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin', everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day, hey hey
When Groot began to dance to the music, Mikey pulled out his T-Phone and hit the record button. He giggled at Groot's cuteness, completely oblivious to the intense battle that was taking place all around them. At one point, Quill landed on his face next to them, and as he struggled to get back up, he was shocked to see Mikey just standing there and recording Groot's dance instead of helping them.
"What are you doing?!" he yelled right before he was knocked away by one of the Abilisk's tentacles.
But Mikey didn't even hear him, too distracted by Groot's adorableness. He followed Groot wherever he went, and he found himself dancing to the music as well. It was pretty catchy after all.
Meanwhile, as Leo fired at the Abilisk airborne with the others, he looked down and saw Mikey dancing with Groot. His jaw dropped and made a dash toward his brother. "Mikey! Focus-!" He grunted as a tentacle smashed into him and pinned him to the ground.
Groot suddenly got distracted by another Orloni and chased after it. He extended his hand into vines that attached themselves to the rodent, and Groot rode on it like a cowboy on a horse.
"Whoa, whoa, Groot! Wait!" Mikey ran after them all across the platform, narrowly dodging all the tentacles and colorful yet deadly fire blasts that came their way. The Orloni had finally managed to throw Groot off, but Mikey caught him and landed facefirst on the floor.
He groaned as he let go of Groot, but after the little tree boy merely brushed himself off and resumed the cute dance, Mikey quickly forgot the pain and continued to record him.
This was definitely going on YouTube.
Mister Blue, you did it right
But soon comes Mister Night creepin' over
Now his-
Unfortunately, the dance sequence came to an abrupt end after Drax crashed right into the speakers and destroyed them.
"Ohhhhh, dude!" Mikey groaned, even though he knew that it wasn't at all Drax's fault.
Groot wasn't as forgiving and attacked Drax by whipping his vines at him, though it felt more taps to the much bigger and more muscular man.
Drax got back on his feet and brushed off the pieces of metal that stuck to his skin. Then he got an idea as he watched the Abilisk fight off the others. "The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside!" He sneered as he raised his knives. "I must cut through it from the inside."
Mikey looked over at Drax. "What?"
Drax laughed as he charged at the Abilisk once again. Mikey called after him, but he ignored the young Turtle and took one big leap toward monster just as it opened its horrifying mouth. Mikey screamed in horror as it clamped its jaws shut and swallowed his friend whole.
Quill, Leo, and Gamora all rushed to Mikey's side after they witnessed what had just happened. "What is he doing?!" Quill yelled, completely flabbergasted.
Mikey panicked as he tried to explain. "He-He-He said that-that the skin is too thick to be cut from the-the outside so-so he-!"
"So he's gonna try to cut it from the inside?!" Leo finished for him.
"That doesn't make any sense!" Quill said. "Skin is the same level of thickness from the inside as from the outside!"
"No DUH, dude!" Mikey yelled. "Even I know that!"
Leo then spotted a wound on the Abilisk's neck, which could be a penetrable area on its impenetrable skin. "Wait, there's a cut on its neck!" he yelled as he pointed to it. "See?"
Quill saw it and quickly came up with a plan. "Okay, you two fire at its weak spot!" he ordered Leo and Gamora. "Mikey! Rocket! Get it to look up!" He and Mikey flew toward the creature and started to taunt it together.
"Hey, you giant Sea-Monkey!" Quill yelled as he fired his guns at the monster. "Up here!"
"I use your cousins as toppings for my pizzas!" Mikey laughed, hiting it on the nose with his nunchucks.
Rocket joined in on the action, but his own gun was soon destroyed by the Abilisk's fire breath, leaving him defenseless (and useless).
Down below, Leo fired his gun multiple times at the distracted beasts, but he would always miss the target. Guns just weren't his specialty. Gamora prepared to shoot, but her gun only clicked and beep, and she tossed it aside in frustration.
Leo figured that she could hit that injury with her better aim and offered her his gun. "Here, take mine."
But Gamora unsheathed her sword and ran toward the creature. She jumped on a few tentacles before making one big leap and aiming her sword at the cut. She plunged her weapon right into the wound, and as she dragged herself down to its belly, yellow-green blood squirted out of the large laceration that she was making. The Abilisk squealed and writhed before it finally dropped to the floor dead.
Leo stared for a moment before he slumped his shoulders and dropped his gun. "Well, I could've done that," he pouted.
Mikey sighed in relief as he landed on his feet, but then he remembered that a certain someone was still inside the monster's body. "Drax!" He ran to the dead creature and yelled into its mouth, "Drax! Can you hear me, dude?!"
Just then, Drax's head popped out of the Abilisk's wound and he gasped for air. He crawled his way out and dropped to the floor, completely drenched in goo. But then he started laughing triumphantly and raised his knives over his head. "YES! I have single-handedly vanquished the beast!"
Everyone just looked at him annoyed and unamused, and Groot threw a pebble at him, which bounced off his head.
Drax looked down at him confused. "What?"
...
After cleaning themselves up and taking a break for a few minutes, the group checked on the conductors. All of the batteries were in tact.
"What are they called again?" Drax asked as he cleaned his face with a towel.
"Anulax batteries," Quill answered as he put his leather coat back on.
Drax nodded and looked at the glowing batteries in wonder and amazement. "Harbulary batteries."
Quill gave him a look. "That's nothing like what I just said. But they're worth thousands of units apiece which is why the Sovereign hired us to protect them."
"Why are they worth so much?" Mikey asked as he picked off one of the batteries and studied it. "Couldn't be any better than Energizer or Duracell."
"They are among the most powerful energy sources in the universe," Gamora explained. "With only a handful, you could have enough power to light up an entire city."
Mikey's eyes went big. "Whoa...that's so cool!"
"Yeah," Leo took the battery out of his brother's hand and carefully put it back in place. "Which is why we shouldn't mess with them."
"So what are these Sovereign guys like?" Mikey asked the others.
"Well, Dey said that they are a highly advanced and very rich bunch," Quill said. "But he added that they are also conceited douchebags. Careful what you say around these folks. They're easily offended. The cost of transgression is death."
"We thank you, Guardians, for putting your lives on the line," High Priestess Ayesha, supreme ruler of the Sovereign, said to the crew.
The Sovereign were the most beautiful people Mikey and Leo had ever seen. Their very skin, hair, and even eyes were a magnificent golden color. They wore elegant clothing that was also gold and their frames were thin and perfect. But they had an aura about them that felt...arrogant.
Ayesha continued to address the Guardians from her throne. "We could not risk the lives of our own Sovereign citizens. Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community. Impeccable, both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny, germinating them in birthing pods."
Mikey blinked in confusion. "Huh? Could you repeat that?"
"I guess I prefer to make people the old-fashioned way," Quill said to her.
An amused smile formed on Ayesha's golden face. "Well, perhaps someday, you could give me a history lesson...in the archaic ways of our ancestors. For academic purposes."
Mikey nudged Leo and whispered to him, "Dude, is that priestess seriously trying to flirt with Quill?"
Leo shrugged. "I'm not sure."
Quill blushed a little, but he tried to maintain a straight face. "I would be honored, yes. In the name of research...I think that could be pretty, uh...repulsive. I'm not into that kind of casual..."
Before the conversation could get any more awkward, a slightly jealous Gamora stepped forward. "Oh, please. Your people promised something in exchange for our services. Bring it and we shall gladly be on our way."
Ayeshia raised a single finger, which signaled for two Sovereign soldiers to come forward and bring a cloaked person in cuffs to the front. They roughly shoved the prisoner to her knees and pulled back the hood, revealing her face to everyone in the room.
Mikey gasped softly. He recognized that blue-skinned lady with metal plates on her head and left eye. It was Gamora's crazy sister, Nebula.
Shivers went down Leo's spine as Nebula slowly raised her head to Gamora and gave her a glare that burned with so much hate and contempt. He had seen that kind of look before; it was the same look that Oroku Saki would give Splinter every time they met face to face.
Gamora only stared back at her coldly. Neither sister said a word to the other.
Quill tried to break the tension and awkward silence. "Family reunion, yaaaay," he said softly with a grin.
"I understand she is your sister?" Ayeshia asked Gamora.
"She's worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar," Gamora calmly replied as she pulled Nebula to her feet.
Ouch. Mikey and Leo both winched at her harsh words.
Ayeshia stood up from her throne and folded her hands. "Our soldiers apprehended her attempting to steal the batteries. Do with her as you please."
And with that, Gamora dragged a struggling Nebula toward the exit. Leo watched them leave and a felt a twinge of sadness for the two siblings. It couldn't have been easy for Gamora to turn her own sister in.
"We thank you, High Priestess Ayeshia," Quill bowed to her before following after Gamora.
But Ayeshia stopped him with an unexpected question. "What is your heritage, Mr. Quill?"
"My mother is from Earth," Quill said.
"And your father?"
Mikey curiously turned to the human. During their first adventure together, Quill had told him about the death of his mother and his abduction from Earth. But he never once mentioned his father.
Quill paused before he answered with a shrug, "He ain't from Missouri. That's all I know."
"Wait, you're from Missouri?" Mikey asked him. "Whoa, that caught me off guard. You seemed more like a Montana guy to me.
"I see it within you," Ayeshia said to Quill. "An unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly...reckless."
Mikey didn't completely understand what she had just said, but judging by the hurt and slightly angered look on Quill's face, it wasn't very polite. And nobody insulted his friends and got away with it. So the youngest Turtle bravely took a step forward and pointed at the snooty Priestess. "Guess they were right about you people: you ARE conceited douchebags!"
Gasps and mutterings filled the room, and Rocket clamped a paw over his mouth to stifle his laughter. An angry soldier stomped toward the group with his gun raised.
Leo ran to his brother's side and stood before Ayeshia, who looked infuriated. "Uh, for-forgive him, High Priestess," he chuckled nervously. "He was only joking."
But Mikey shook his head. "No, I wasn't-"
Leo quickly clamped his hand over Mikey's mouth. "Shut up," he whispered harshly. "Let's go." He grabbed Mikey by the arm and pulled him along as the crew headed towards the exit.
Quill gave Ayeshia one last dirty look before leaving with the others.
"You're lucky they didn't kill us," Leo softly scolded his brother. "And after we get back home, I'm washing your mouth out with soap."
"What?" Mikey whined out loud. "Raph says 'douchebag' all the time!"
"Shhh!" Leo shushed him. "That doesn't make it right!"
Drax and Rocket were ahead of them, whispering to each other, and when the raccoon showed the tattooed man something inside his small bag, the latter threw his head back and laughed. Rocket quickly shushed him with a smile on his face.
Mikey suddenly got a very bad feeling.