Hey guys, so this is the longest chapter so far. It's a lot of information and it's pretty heavy. It is definitely a lot of dialogue, which is my favorite thing to write. It's what I'm best at and for me it really creates an image in my mind, and I hope I am able to help create that for you guys. As always, I really appreciate your comments and anything you guys have to say. I hope you enjoy!

The meeting had been going on for hours. They had taken a lunch break a while ago and now where all back at the meeting. It was awful. The entire conversation was about The Shadow and the threat that each leader in the room felt. The Sankru ambassadors chair was empty, and Clarke's eyes seemed to always travel to it.

Every clan, including Azgeda, had voiced their concerns, and Clarke was forced to listen to all of it. She felt like she was suffocating. Each time someone said something about her felt like a blow to the gut. She was called a monster more times than she could count, she could see the fear in the eyes of many of the people who spoke about her, and that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when all the clan leaders went into detail on every assassination that The Shadow had committed within their lands. The stories from each guard and possible eye witness was the same, a figure came from the shadows, killed their target and escaped, all without being seen. Some people were beginning to believe that The Shadow was a ghost, a literal shadow, that's how good she was. She didn't enjoy hearing the details of each of death she had caused, but each clan leader depicted the scenes of the assassinations well enough for Clarke to picture every single one of them in her mind. She remembered every kill, not allowing herself to forget, so she had a clear picture in her mind of the different deaths that were being recounted.

Lexa didn't make matters easier at all. She would listen to each of the clan leaders and speak about The Shadow with an unreadable look on her face. Clarke knew if she had a better angle and was able to look the Commander in the eye, she would be able to read how she was feeling, but she couldn't and if she was being honest she didn't want to.

Once the clans had finished expressing their fears and their issues with The Shadow, they moved on to coming up with a plan to protect the people and capture her if possible. Lexa had told everyone to increase their guards. She said she would increase guards throughout the city and at the gates of Polis. Anyone with any information or thoughts on The Shadow was to speak with her or one of her advisors immediately. There was an even higher bounty placed on her head, and she was to be captured alive if possible, but if not, a kill shot was permitted.

Clarke wasn't worried about any of that. Of course more guards would make it more difficult for her if Nia gave her another target, but she would figure it out. She wasn't worried about everyone being allowed to kill her either because she was never seen and she never would be seen. She was too good for that.

After the longest and most painful meeting of her life, Lexa dismissed everyone. She remained in her throne room with Titus and Indra. When the room had cleared Titus spoke, "Heda, you need to find a way to capture this assassin. Your people are afraid and they need to know that you can protect them."

"I know that Titus," Lexa snarled from her seat on her throne. Lexa was frustrated. An assassin had snuck into Polis under her watch and assassinated one of her ambassadors and she had no idea who they were or how to catch them. Her people relied on her to protect them, keep them safe from outside threats, and currently she was failing in that duty. "What would you have me do? This assassin has never been seen. No one knows anything about them. How do I catch someone like that?" Titus was silent from where he was standing, clearly not having an answer for her.

"Heda you must be careful," Indra spoke up from the other side of Lexa. "Most of the targets that The Shadow has taken out have been a close supporter of yourself. You could be next."

Lexa stood up from her throne and started to pace the floor of her throne room, "Yes, I noticed that. I do not think they after me though. If they were, they would have already tried."

"That may not be true Heda. They may not have had the opportunity to get to you yet. You are very well guarded, nearly impossible to get to," Titus added.

"I do not think that is the case. An assassin as good as The Shadow should have the ability to get to me. I do not think I am their target. I think if we want to find this assassin, we have to find their leader. Assassins rarely work alone, they usually take orders from someone. I need to find out who that is," Lexa said, still pacing.

"Azgeda would be the best place to start," Indra said, not holding back her disdain towards the Ice Nation. "They use assassins most commonly and their's usually are the most skilled."

Lexa hummed in agreement, "It would also explain why they haven't gone after me. Nia wants to see me suffer, she would not want my death to be at the hands of an assassin in a non public manner."

As the three of them continued to talk more about The Shadow and what they should do about it, Clarke and Roan were led by Nia into her room. "That was a very entertaining meeting would you not agree?" Nia asked with a grin.

Clarke bristled slightly, so Roan stepped up, "What is it you wanted to discuss mother?"

"I just wanted to inform you that I will be enacting a plan involving both of you very soon. It will serve to make the Commander suffer even more than she already is right now," she turned to look at Clarke. "You are doing a very good job with that by the way Clarke. Every time she looks at you I can see the pain in her eyes. Keep drawing her in."

Clarke nodded her head, but said nothing. She could feel her blood boiling and chose not to speak to make sure she didn't say anything out of line. Nia was going to pay for what she was doing to Clarke and definitely for what she was doing to Lexa. Clarke just needed to wait for her chance to strike. Nia continued, "Everything is going along so well. the Commander is still scrambling to figure out who sent that assassin to kill me, and she'll never discover that it was me who did it myself. Plus, now she has to figure out who The Shadow is, and we all know that won't happen."

Roan cleared his throat, "I'm sorry mother, but did you say that you hired the assassin that Clarke killed?"

"I did," Nia nodded. "The Commander will never think to look at me for hiring an assassin to kill myself. He was not a very good assassin anyway. Clarke, I know you saw him before he even tried to attack me."

Clarke nodded, "Yes my Queen. I did."

"Well I got rid of a useless assassin, showed the other clan leaders that the Commander is not doing a good job of protecting her people in Polis, and I got to show the Commander and the others a little of what you could do and that you follow me. Everything is going along perfectly." Roan and Clarke just stood and stared at Nia a little surprised, even though they probably shouldn't have been, over just how insane Nia was. She hated the Commander so much to go to such great lengths to make her suffer. It was ridiculous. "You may go. I will speak to you more when I intend to incorporate the next part of my plan. Keep following your orders," Nia instructed and Clarke and Roan left her room.

The two of them walked to the elevator and waited for the doors to close before they spoke. "Your mother is insane," Clarke said.

"The Commander killed my father. It was with good reason, but my mother hates her for it. She is also in search of power and she intends to take it from the Commander. I don't know what it is, but she clearly has a plan," Roan said.

"That's exactly what Dak said," Clarke whispered more to herself than to Roan, but he still heard her. He raised an eyebrow waiting for her to elaborate. The elevator doors opened and Clarke led Roan outside and to a quiet area where they could talk. "Before Dak was killed, he told me I needed to escape Azgeda. He said Queen Nia had a plan involving me and that he didn't know what it was, but I was the center of it. That's why he wanted me to escape so badly. He knew that if I stayed, she would be able to use me for whatever she has planned. I agreed to try and escape, but after he was killed along with those two Skaikru," Clarke shook her head and trailed off from her previous sentence. "Nia is going to use me to try and gain control of the coalition. What do I do Roan?"

Roan exhaled deeply. "You keep doing what you've been doing. Clarke, she will kill all of Skaikru if you don't," he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you trust the Commander?" he asked. "And don't get all weird about it. Seriously, do you trust her?"

"I do," Clarke said without hesitation.

"Then I think you should talk to her. Don't tell her everything, you can't, but there are some things that you can tell her. Let her in on some of Nia's plans and see what help she can provide," Roan suggested.

"If I do that, I'll have to tell her everything that has happened to me. I'm not sure if she'll be able to hear it and I'm not sure if I'll be able to tell it," Clarke admitted quietly.

Roan reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, "I know you've been through a lot, but I think you should let her in. It'll be hard, but I think it'll be worth it."

Clarke closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. He was right, it was time to let everyone in. At least on some parts of the past two years. Before that though, Clarke needed to let out some of her energy and frustration from the meeting earlier. She went with Roan to the sparring pits and the two of them put on a show of their own before beating the hell out of their next challengers.

/

Lexa left Polis Tower and made her way to the tavern where the Sankru Ambassador had been killed. The body had been removed and taken away to be burned, but everything else was in the same position as it had been the night before. Lexa started to examine the scene trying to find any sign that The Shadow may have left behind. She started from the table where Julius was killed and looked for any clue, but found none. Then she started to look for escape routes.

There were a few different paths The Shadow could have used to get away, and Lexa checked each and every one of them, but again there was no sign of anything. She decided to widen her scope. Assassins like to watch their targets and wait for the perfect moment to strike. The best way to watch your target without being seen was up high. Lexa climbed up onto the roof of every building that was surrounding the table that Julius had been sitting at. She found the best vantage points possible and found that the roof of the tavern would have been the closest, smartest option.

There was still no sign of the assassin, but she didn't really expect to find one. The Shadow was the best assassin in the coalition for a reason. Lexa mapped out the course of action she would have taken if she was The Shadow and it was actually very close to what Clarke had actually done. There were a few differences, but Lexa wasn't a highly skilled assassin, so it made sense that she didn't take the exact same route.

She spent a little while longer searching, but there was no sign that could provided even the slightest clue about The Shadow. Lexa was confident that she had at least mapped out the route the assassin had most likely taken and considered maybe, if she tried to set something up, she would be able to catch them, but that was a long shot.

When Lexa was done she started to make her way back to Polis Tower. There was a lot going through her mind at the moment. Two assassins had made their way into Polis and had attempted their own assassinations. Luckily, one of them wasn't successful, but Lexa still needed to figure out who had sent them. Her head was spinning with information. She had to find the identities of two assassins with absolutely nothing to go on, and her people were hounding her for answers. She had to do what she could to find out who these assassins were though, so her first decision was to start with Azgeda and there was one blonde member of Azgeda that Lexa was actually excited to go and talk to.

As she was walking to her tower, Nyko stepped up to her. "Heda," he said. "I am sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could speak to you about Clarke for a moment."

Lexa immediately felt panic start to take over, but she managed to keep her stoic mask of indifference on her face as she let Nyko lead her to his tent. "Is she alright?"

Lexa walked into Nyko's tent and saw that the blonde wasn't in there, and she immediately took a sigh of relief. "I'm unsure Heda." Lexa's eyebrows creased and Nyko continued. "She seems to be alright. Her lashes seem to be healing well and she isn't bothered by the pain."

Lexa's brows furrowed. That seemed like good news, not bad. "What is the problem then?"

"That's just it. She isn't bothered by the pain. Heda, twenty lashes usually takes down even the strongest warriors for longer than the few hours of rest that she had," he took a heavy breath before continuing. He felt what he was about to say was necessary, but he was not excited to see Lexa's reaction. He had seen how close Clarke and Lexa were in his tent and the fact that Lexa had stayed the night, Nyko knew that Clarke meant something to Lexa. This could be very bad. "Heda has she talked to you any about what she has been through?"

Lexa balked at the question. She wasn't expecting him to ask that. Why was he asking about that? Lexa hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with Clarke and when she was able to spend time with her, the blonde avoided such questions. Lexa could feel her heart pick up slightly and her nerves increased, "No, we have not discussed much of the past two years yet."

"Heda I don't know if I should be discussing this with you, but she is one of your subjects, and you deserve to know what is happening to your people," he started. Lexa nodded, urging him to continue. He swallowed thickly. "Almost all of her body is covered in scars and brands. It is clear that she was tortured for a long period of time. Heda, those wounds… She is lucky to be alive. I tried to speak to her about it, but she just brushed it off like it was nothing. I know that each clan is allowed their own rules, their own training and discipline within their own territory, but Heda what she has been through is too much. I just thought you deserved to know."

Lexa felt sick. She had known that whatever had happened to Clarke wouldn't have been peaceful, but she couldn't imagine what Nyko was describing to her. She didn't put it past Queen Nia to torture someone, no that wasn't it, she just couldn't physically picture Clarke the way Nyko was describing her. She didn't want to believe it.

Time seemed to slow down and she left Nyko's tent in a daze without saying a word to him. He knew it wasn't exactly his place to reveal what he had, but he felt that he had to. He watched as she half walked half stumbled out of his tent and through Polis on her way to find Clarke.

/

Clarke had won a few of her own sparring matches even though she had been moving much slower and being much more careful than she usually would to accommodate her still healing back, and it was starting to get dark out. The pits were lit up enough to see however, so Clarke didn't feel the need or want to leave. After a while, Octavia made her way out to the pit with Raven beside her, "I don't want to spar. I just wanted to see if you had some time to teach me a few of those moves you used." Clarke had easily agreed and the two had been working together for a while. Raven took a seat at the edge of the pit to watch, laughing every time Clarke took Octavia down. Clarke was impressed with Octavia's skills. She was fast and resourceful and she never ever gave up. Clarke enjoyed teaching her, but she also enjoyed showing her up. She also enjoyed Raven's commentary over from the side. It made for a very entertaining evening.

Clarke was trying to teach Octavia a specific type of flip when she noticed Lexa staring at her from a little ways away. She could see the blank look on the brunettes face and knew something was wrong. "Octavia I think that's enough for to today."

Octavia took a sigh of relief and reached towards her ribs, "Good, I need to sit down for a while. Thanks for your help Clarke. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah I do too. Anytime I get to watch Octavia fall on her ass is a good night," Raven added with a laugh.

Octavia glared at her and mumbled something to herself as she walked towards the raven haired girl. "No problem. I'm happy to train with you whenever you want, and I'm always happy to entertain," Clarke said. It felt good to be able to talk to her friends like this again. It almost made everything feel normal. Almost.

Clarke walked out of the pits and straight towards Lexa. "Hey, what's wrong?" Clarke asked as soon as she was close enough.

"I need to talk to you," Lexa replied. She didn't look at Clarke and her body language was off. Something was definitely wrong.

"Yeah of course," Clarke agreed. "Lead the way."

Lexa took Clarke into the tower and all the way to the top floor. The walk from the pits to the elevator was a little awkward and the elevator ride even more so, but they made it. Lexa led Clarke down the hall and into a giant bedroom which Clarke assumed was Lexa's. It looked similar to her room with tables and chairs, a couch, and the bed. Lexa's bed was a little bigger but not much. There were some maps and some small figures spread out on the tables and there were tons of candle spread out everywhere throughout the room.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked again when they were both inside.

"I spoke to Nyko," Lexa said, finally looking into the blue of Clarke's eyes.

Clarke swallowed. She knew what they must of talked about, but she decided to test it anyway. "And?"

"He told me about the scars," Lexa replied. Clarke closed her eyes and looked down to the ground. She knew this moment was coming, but boy she was not prepared for it. "I need to see." It came out as barely a whisper, but Clarke heard it anyway.

Clarke inhaled slowly through her nose, "Are you sure?"

Clarke opened her eyes to look at Lexa and saw the girl nod. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and slowly reached down to the hem of her shirt. She peeled it back slowly, taking off her shirt and tank top in one go, until the clothing was completely off her body. She dropped it on the ground and met Lexa's eyes, standing only in her breast band.

Lexa slowly let her eyes travel down Clarke's body and she couldn't hold back the gasp at what she saw. Clarke's skin looked exactly as Nyko had described. There were all different types of scars covering her front and it was clear that most of them were from torture and not battle. Lexa stepped towards Clarke and reached out with her hands to traced one of the scars across Clarke's abdomen with her fingertips. Clarke gasped at the touch. No one had touched her this gently, with this much care in a really long time. Lexa slowly walked around to Clarke's back and her heart nearly stopped. Clarke's back was even worse than her front. The markings from Clarke's recent whipping were clear, but the scars underneath were what Lexa couldn't take her eyes off of. Her eyes trailed over each and every one of them until she came up to the symbol of Azgeda that was branded on her back. The symbol wasn't the clearest, as it looked like the scorching brand had been placed in the same spot multiple times, but Lexa recognized it. The skin there probably hadn't ever healed before the brand was placed on it again and it looked like it had been placed there multiple times. Lexa couldn't imagine the pain that Clarke must have been in. She made her way back to Clarke's front, "Clarke," she whispered hoarsely, her voice broken.

Clarke reached up to cup Lexa's cheeks, wiping away the steady stream of tears that were pouring out of Lexa's eyes. It didn't matter though because every time Clarke would wipe one away, another would replace it. "Clarke how did you survive this?"

"Honestly, I probably shouldn't have," Clarke said softly. "But Nia, she had something on me, and I couldn't let her use it. There was another reason too. I wasn't willing to admit it at the time but I am now. It was the thought of the people I cared about. The people I loved and who loved me. I couldn't leave them behind. I survived because of them. I survived because of you."

Lexa couldn't hold back her sob. Clarke pulled her in close and wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl. She whispered quiet reassurances into her ear until Lexa had calmed down. "Clarke I need to know what happened to you," Lexa said after a while.

"I know and I can't tell you everything, but I'll tell you all that I can, but I want Skaikru there too. I don't want to tell this story more than once. You can bring in anyone you trust if you want them to hear everything too," Clarke said.

Lexa nodded and exited her room to tell her guards to gather Skaikru and a few others and have them wait for her in her throne room. The guard left to follow her orders, and Lexa returned to her room.

"There are a few things I should tell you in private though. Nia knows about… us? I guess is the best way to say it," Clarke started. She and Lexa hadn't had a lot of time to be together or to discuss what they were yet, but that was the best way Clarke could think to phrase it.

"How?" Lexa asked.

"She said she had some spies at the mountain. They reported to her that you and I spent much more time together than was necessary. She only confirmed that fact, when you continued to send out search parties for me even when Skaikru had stopped," Clarke explained.

"I wasn't going to stop looking until I had answers," Lexa replied.

Clarke smiled and took a step forward, placing a soft kiss to Lexa's lips, "Sorry. Couldn't help myself," she whispered. Lexa reached up and pulled Clarke back towards her, crashing their lips together again. This time the kiss was much longer and much more passionate than before, almost desperate. When they separated Clarke smiled, but tried to get the conversation back on track, "Anyway, Nia wants you to suffer, and she wants to use me to do it. She gave me orders to get close to you. To blame you for everything that's happened to me and make you suffer for it. She said she wanted me to get you to let me in. To lower your walls and get you to let your guard down. She obviously has something planned, but I'm not sure what that is yet. I just thought I should tell only you that instead of everyone."

Lexa nodded and kissed Clarke again. When they separated, Lexa couldn't stop her eyes from travelling over Clarke's body again. "It's not your fault," Clarke whispered, knowing that Lexa would be blaming herself for the condition of her body. "Don't ever believe that you had anything to do with this. No matter what I say when I tell you what happened to me in Azgeda, know that," Clarke said. She reached out to swipe away another tear from Lexa's cheek. She could tell Lexa was torn up over this, but Clarke was not going to let Lexa for one second blame herself for this. It was all Nia.

"I'm so glad you're alive Clarke," Lexa whispered. "After all the time of searching with no answers, I didn't think I would ever see you again."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and pulled her down so their foreheads were resting on each other. "I'm right here Lexa," she whispered from less than an inch away from Lexa's lips. "I'm right here. Right where I'm supposed to be," and their lips met again, their bodies molding against each other like they were made for each other. Maybe they were.

/

Clarke paced back and forth outside of Lexa's throne room. Lexa had dismissed her guards and was standing in front of the door watching the blonde. They had spent a good while in Lexa's room talking and just holding each other, but now it was time for Clarke to tell her story. Lexa could tell the girl was panicking, and there really wasn't much to say because she was panicking too. Lexa just couldn't get the images of Clarke's mutilated body out of her mind and in a few minutes she was going to hear how she got her scars.

Clarke had started whispering to herself trying to prepare for what she was about to do and that was when Lexa stepped in. She stood before Clarke and put her hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing, "Clarke, stop. You can do this."

Clarke sighed, "This is going to be a lot for everyone Lexa. Including me. I'm not sure if I'm ready for everyone to look at me like I'm… like I'm broken."

Lexa moved her hands up from Clarke's shoulders and cupped her cheeks, "No one will look at you like your broken, and even if they do, I won't. You are strong Clarke, and every time I look at you, that is all I will see."

Clarke smiled a little, it wasn't much, but it was enough for her for the moment. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to Lexa's lips. "Lexa, I need you to promise me that when I'm done telling this story, you won't do something that could break the coalition," Clarke said after they separated. She knew Lexa would never do anything to harm her people, but she wanted some form of reassurance anyway. She waited for Lexa to respond, and got a very short, stiff nod. It was all she was going to get and hopefully it was enough. "I also need you to help keep everyone in there from doing something stupid. I don't need Skaikru starting a war with Azgeda over this."

"I will do my best Clarke," Lexa replied.

"Thank you." Clarke leaned forward to capture the brunette's lips in a searing kiss one last time. It was exactly what she needed to calm her nerves. When they broke apart, Clarke took a deep breath and steeled herself, "Okay. I'm ready."

Lexa nodded and she opened the door to her throne room. She walked in with Clarke right behind her. In the room was Kane, Abby, Octavia, Raven, Bellamy, Lincoln, Monty, Harper, Luna, Titus, and Indra. "Commander if I may, what is it that we are here for?" Kane asked. The group was standing in the middle of the room, all unsure of what was about to happen. Lexa's messenger hadn't given them anything, just said that they were to wait for the Commander to meet her in her throne room.

"It's time I tell you all what's happened to me over these past two years," Clarke answered for her. Lexa walked to stand over by the others and Clarke stood by herself. Everyone in the room immediately grew quiet, all interested to hear what she had to say.

Clarke took a deep breath in and started her story, "After the mountain, I hated myself for what I did. I couldn't stay in Arkadia and see the faces of everyone there without being reminded of what I did, so I left. I stayed out in the woods for three weeks on my own. I struggled at first, but I started to get the hang of living out there alone. I had been on my own for three weeks, when I heard a branch snap. I knew it wasn't normal so I waited and tried to figure out what it was, but I couldn't. I started to move on, thought maybe my mind was playing tricks on me or it was just an animal, but then I was attacked. I tried to fight back and I killed one of my attackers, but the other was too big, too strong, and he knocked me out. When I woke up I was on a horse, a hood over my head and a gag in my mouth. I didn't stay conscious for long and I passed out again. The second time I awoke, I was dragged off the horse and led by my captor to Queen Nia. I don't who he was. He spoke Trigedasleng and at the time I couldn't speak it, so I really didn't know what was going. When the sack and the gag were removed, I found myself in Queen Nia's throne room."

Clarke looked at Lexa for a moment before continuing, "I knew a little about who she was, and I knew she wasn't someone I wanted to be around. We spoke for a while and she told me she wanted to command the Commander of Death, but she didn't think that I lived up to the title. She wanted to test me, so she sent me to a place called The Crater."

Clarke saw recognition in the eyes of Lexa, Luna, Lincoln, Titus, and Indra. It was clear they had heard of it, but she explained it anyway for Skaikru, "The Crater was hell. It was kill or be killed. For four months I was kept in a cell learning the grounder language and culture. The only time I was let out, was to be put in the arena. It was a giant crater in the ground, hence the name. Every time I entered I had to fight to the death against my opponent, and a crowd sat and watched, cheering the entire time. I of course had little skill, but my opponents were never really skilled either. They were sick or weak or injured or they weren't a soldier and were just as inexperienced as I was. It was all a game to Queen Nia and those who watched. After every fight I was returned to my cell, given a few supplies to manage my injuries and a little time to rest before my next fight. It went on like this for four months until I was told Nia had a final test for me. I was put in the ring with one of the largest panthers I've ever seen and somehow managed to win. After that I was freed from that place and taken to Queen Nia once again."

Clarke paused and looked out onto the faces of everyone. They were all clearly enraptured in her story. "The Crater is a public place. If Wanheda was there rumors would have spread about it," Titus was the one who spoke. It was clear he was not fully in belief of her story.

"Titus," Lexa hissed clearly displeased with his questioning of her story.

"It's okay. If any of you have questions, ask them. I may not be willing to talk about this again," Clarke said. "The reason no one knew Wanheda was in the pit, is because she wasn't. They never announced my name. They colored my hair and gave me Azgeda clothing. They took away who I was," Clarke explained to Titus.

She started to pace the floor now. This was where she had to leave out some details, even change up a little of her story. She couldn't tell them about Emerson or the fact that she was an assassin, The Shadow no less, so she had to make sure she was careful with just how much she said. When she was ready she started her story again, "I was brought to Queen Nia after The Crater and she told me she was impressed. Wanted to train me to be one of her warriors, and at first I refused. She preyed on my weaknesses, held something against me and forced me to agree to obey her, and I did. She told me the first thing I needed to learn as one of her warriors was how to deal with pain and how to keep my mouth shut. She wanted to teach me how not to talk if I was ever captured, and I think she wanted to basically scare me into submission."

Clarke swallowed hard before going any further. This was probably the hardest part for her to explain and would probably be the hardest part for everyone to hear. She opened her mouth to explain what had happened next, but no words came out. How could she possibly explain to her mother, to her friends, and to Lexa the torture that she had been through? So instead of telling them, she decided to show them. Clarke reached down and pulled her shirt off over her head to reveal her scarred body to everyone in the room. Every single one of the gasped, except for Lexa, but the pain in those green eyes was clear. Clarke turned to show her back and allowed everyone in the room to get a look of what happened to her. She could see everyone struggling to process what Clarke had been through, and when she couldn't stand the looks she was getting anymore, she put her shirt back on. "The woman there, Severna, asked me about Skaikru while she tortured me. It left me with two options. I could give Azgeda information or I could fight through the pain and be quiet. I tried so hard not to tell them anything, but I broke," Clarke said. She was surprised her voice was as steady as it was, and she kept going, "I told them a little about Skaikru and for a day I wasn't tortured. The day after that, it started again. Only it was so much worse and I learned quickly not to talk." Clarke could feel the tears running down her face at this point, but she did nothing to hide them. She could see most of the people in the room were crying themselves, all except for Titus, Indra, Lexa, and Bellamy. Clarke could see though that Bellamy and Lexa both had tears in their eyes, they just refused to let them fall.

"After three months a man named Dax came and released me. He told me he was going to train me. I was taken to my new quarters and given a little time to recover. Then the training began. It was rough, but I learned quickly. I met Prince Roan shortly after that and the three of us grew close. I trained with Dax for five months before I was put through my trials as a warrior. I passed and was accepted as Azgeda. A little while after that," Clarke swallowed. "Dax he… He tried to help me escape. He talked me into trying to get a message to Skaikru to tell them I was alive." Clarke stopped and took a few deep breaths. Her tears were still running down her cheeks, but less frequently. Her voice was beginning to waver so she took a moment to steady herself. "He was killed because of it, and Queen Nia killed a few more people as punishment to help keep me in line." Clarke didn't reveal that those people were Skaikru as she knew it would cause them to react harshly. "I spent the rest of my time in Azgeda following Queen Nia's every order, and here we are," Clarke finished.

Clarke looked to meet the eyes of everyone in the room and she barely held herself together. The looks she was getting from almost everyone was exactly what she was afraid of. They looked at her with pity, they looked at her like she was broken. She couldn't bare to be looked at like that, so she looked into the eyes of the one person who wouldn't look at her like that. Lexa's eyes were glossy, clearly filled with unshed tears, but she didn't look at Clarke with pity. There was pain in her eyes, but she also saw something like awe or adoration of her strength and Clarke drew all the strength she needed from it. The room had been silent for a while, but it was broken when Octavia spoke. "Clarke," it was shaky and pained, but Clarke could make out the words that were being spoken, "What does she have on you?"

Clarke shook her head, "I can't tell you that."

"Clarke please," it was her mother who spoke next. Her cheeks were wet with her tears and Clarke could see the light from the candles in the room glinting of the trails they had made. "Tell us and we will help you."

Clarke still wasn't pleased with her mother at this moment, but the pain on her face and in her voice got to Clarke anyway. "You can't. No one can help me. I told you all that I can say."

"Well it isn't enough. Tell me what she is holding over you. I will not let my daughter be controlled by that monster," Abby's voice demanded, changing from sorrowful to angered.

"You will," Clarke argued back. "There is nothing you can do for me."

"Then I'll go ask Queen Nia herself," Abby raged. If her daughter wouldn't give her the answers she was looking for, then she would find them on her own.

Kane reached out and put a hand on Abby's shoulder, "Abby, that's not a good idea."

"The Chancellor is right," Lexa spoke up. "Queen Nia will not tell you anything and it won't do anyone any good, especially Clarke."

"Well I don't see you trying to help here," Abby snarled as she stepped up into the Commander's space.

Indra, Luna, and Titus all snarled themselves and took a step closer to their Commander. After that the room descended into chaos. Everyone was in such a state of shock and concern they started yelling at each other and trying to deal with their own emotions. "Guys!" Clarke yelled over the commotion, gaining everyone's attention after her third try. "I didn't tell you all of this so that you could start fighting each other. I told you this so you would know my story. I'm doing what I can to come up with a way to get myself out of this, but until then, there is nothing any of you can do. I need you all to just do your jobs, stay in line, and let me figure this out. Please, don't make this any harder than it already is."

Octavia and Raven were the first to agree to the blonde's request and everyone else slowly started to agree as well. It came down to Abby at the end, but her mother reluctantly agreed. After that the room was cleared out save for Clarke and Lexa. When the doors closed behind the last person to leave, Lexa quickly enveloped Clarke into her arms and allowed a few of her tears to finally drop. She held onto Clarke tightly, never wanting to let the blonde go again, but eventually they separated. "It's okay Lexa. It's okay," the blonde cooed.

"Clarke I get that you didn't want to tell the entire group what Nia has over you, but please, tell me," Lexa begged.

Clarke pulled Lexa's head down so she could kiss the taller girls forehead, "I can't, Lexa."

Lexa looked into Clarke eyes, and the desperation there almost made Clarke tell her, but she couldn't. She held her tongue and wrapped her arms around the girl again, taking comfort in her arms. Lexa happily held on tightly, occasionally kissing the side of Clarke's head.

From the position Lexa was in, she could see out onto her balcony and she finally realized just how late it was. "Come to bed with me," she whispered, not wanting to let the blonde out of her sight.

Clarke was going to decline the offer, but when she looked into those emerald eyes, she couldn't say no. She let Lexa lead her to her room. There were two guards at their posts outside of Lexa's room, but Lexa dismissed them, and they didn't seem to think too much of the two of them being together. "This is dangerous," Clarke said when she entered the room.

"My guards won't say anything. You will be safe here," Lexa replied.

"It's more than that Lexa. You and me being together… I want to be with you more than anything, but it puts us both in danger. You already know it's my job to get close to you. Queen Nia could use me against you or you against me. I don't want to hurt you."

"Clarke, I don't want to spend any moment that I have without you beside me. It's dangerous I know, but I can't lose you again," Lexa replied softly. She was a little surprised with herself. Lexa was never vulnerable, she never put herself out there, but she was going to deny her feelings. If she could help it, she wasn't going to lose Clarke like she lost Costia.

Clarke nodded and pressed her body into Lexa's claiming her lips. Clarke knew that this was risky, but she wanted to be here with Lexa so badly and it was clear that Lexa wanted it too. They would need to be careful, but it was worth the risk. When they pulled apart, Lexa walked to her dresser and pulled out some more comfortable clothing. She gave a pair to Clarke and they both changed. When Lexa emerged from the bathroom, Clarke's mouth went dry. Lexa was wearing a black nightgown with a slit that went all the way to her side showing of her exquisite legs.

She watched as Lexa pulled back the furs of her bed and laid down. When she held her arms out for Clarke to join, the blonde didn't hesitate, climbing into the bed quickly. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke as the two got as close as they possibly could. "Thank you," Clarke whispered. Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke elaborated, "For not looking at me like I'm broken."

Lexa wrapped her arms a little tighter around the blonde. "Thank you, for not letting Nia break you," Lexa responded. Clarke rotated her body around so she could kiss Lexa properly, and the two lost themselves in each other. Lexa swiped her tongue across Clark's bottom lip and she opened her mouth, allowing her access. The kiss grew heated quickly, but before it got too far, they separated. They laid back onto the bed and fell asleep, wrapped in each others arms.

/

Clarke had slept much later into the morning than she usually did, but eventually, her nightmares caught up with her. She gasped for air as her body launched forward in the bed. Lexa awoke and reacted immediately reaching out to calm the distressed blonde. Clarke's breathing was frantic and her eyes were unfocused. Lexa cupped her cheeks, "Clarke! Clarke, it's okay. I'm here, you're okay. You're safe." Lexa wrapped her arms around her and whispered to her quietly, rocking their bodies back and forth slowly.

Clarke's breathing slowly started to become more regular. "I'm sorry," she croaked when she had herself back under control.

Lexa moved so she was looking into Clarke's eyes, "Don't be sorry for that." Lexa kissed her forehead softly. Clarke's body was trembling and she was sweating. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Clarke hesitated for a moment, but she decided to tell Lexa about what had haunted her that night, "I dreamed about Dax." Clarke spoke barely above a whisper. She wasn't really sure how to talk to Lexa about him and talking about him was still painful for her. She usually didn't dream about him or the events that had happened the night of his death anymore. She had learned how to block out much of that night, but the retelling of her story last night must have brought on the memories.

Lexa could sense the hesitation and the pain that Clarke was feeling. She remembered Clarke telling her about someone who had helped her forgive Lexa for what happened on the mountain, and she had that same pain in her voice then that she did now. When she told her story to everyone, she hadn't spoken much about him, but it was clear that him and Clarke were close. "You cared for him," Lexa said and it wasn't a question.

"I did, but not like that," Clarke admitted. "We spent a lot of time together. He taught me everything. He wasn't a fan of Queen Nia either, she threatened his family. We grew close. He helped me get over a lot of my problems and he helped me stay strong through everything Nia forced me to do. I never cared for him in that way though and he knew it. There was something holding me back. Maybe it was Finn, maybe it was you, maybe it was me, I don't know," Clarke trailed off.

"What happened to him?" Lexa prodded gently.

"He wanted to help me escape. Said that I had suffered enough and deserved to be free. He also said that Nia had a plan involving me. He didn't know what it was, but it wasn't good. I agreed to let him help me and he went to Arkadia to give them a message that I was alive," Clarke stopped and swallowed down the lump in her throat. Lexa reached out and took Clarke's hand in her own, squeezing it lightly. Clarke cleared her throat and continued, "Nia somehow found out. She sent someone after him, and then they came to me. I knew something was wrong the minute I saw Nia and her guards. One of them handed me a bag, and his head was in it." Clarke could feel her tears stinging her eyes, but she kept them from falling.

Lexa felt her heart break in her chest. She knew what that was like. Costia had been delivered to her in much the same way. It was one of her most painful memories and it haunted her dreams some nights as well.

Lexa knew there was more to this story, Clarke had mentioned that others had been killed to force her to follow Nia's orders. She gave Clarke some time to gather herself, providing as much comfort as possible, before the blonde continued, "She told me I was lucky she still needed me, or she would have killed me for disobeying her then and there. Then she brought me two more bodies. They were both Skaikru. One of them I didn't know, but the other… her name was Monroe. She was my friend, and Nia killed her to keep me in line. After that I followed her orders without question."

Lexa felt her blood boil. Nia had put Clarke through so much. She was seconds away from storming out of her room and killing Nia in her bed, but she wouldn't do that. It would tear the coalition apart and she couldn't do that to her people. She had also promised Clarke that she wouldn't do anything reckless like that, and she was not going to break that promise. "Is that what she has over you?" Lexa questioned. "She's threatening the lives of Skaikru?" Lexa knew Clarke didn't want to say what Nia had over her, but Lexa wanted so desperately to help. If Clarke would just tell her what was going on, she could do something, but the blonde didn't seem to budge.

"It's so much more than that Lexa. I know you want to help me, and I want to tell you, I do. I just can't."

"I know," Lexa whispered. "I won't push you, but I would like to help you in any way that I can."

Clarke nodded, "Well like I told you earlier, my job is to get close to you and make you suffer, make you let your guard down. Maybe if we spend some more time together and if you act like I may have some form of influence over you, she'll believe I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. If it works well enough, maybe she'll make a move too early and you'll be able to stop her."

Lexa leaned forward from where she was sitting on the bed and placed a sweet kiss to Clarke's lips, "I can do that."

/

After Clarke and Lexa talked, Clarke told Lexa that she usually trained when she couldn't sleep, so the two of them changed and made their way down to the sparring pits. The Commander didn't often train in public, but Lexa was not willing to leave Clarke's side unless she had to.

Unfortunately that time came when Queen Nia arrived at the pits. Clarke had been training with a warrior from Trikru and Lexa had been watching, giving pointers to both where she saw fit. She was surprised by just how much skill Clarke had gained in these past two years, but when your only opportunities to learn are kill or be killed or involved massive amounts of torture, it made sense that she had learned quickly.

Lexa stiffened when Nia approached her. It took everything she had not to run the woman through with her sword there and then. "I appreciate you taking the time to help teach one of my warriors Commander," Nia drawled.

Lexa kept her eyes on the two fighting and her stoic Commander mask was firmly in place, "They don't need much help from me. They are both very skilled."

Nia hummed her agreement. She stayed in her spot beside the Commander until Clarke ended up victorious in the fight. "Impressive Clarke," Nia called out.

Clarke had her back to Nia and Lexa and had been so focused on her fight, she didn't realize Nia had been watching. She tensed up slightly before turning to face her queen, "Thank you my Queen."

"Come, I have much to discuss with you," Nia ordered.

Clarke didn't argue and she left the pit quickly. She gave an apologetic glance over towards Lexa, who looked like she was barely holding herself back from snapping at Nia, before walking with her Queen towards Polis Tower. "You have done well Clarke. We've only been here for a few days, and already you are spending the night in the Commander's bed."

Clarke's eyes widened slightly. The two of them went to bed late last night and had only come out a little while ago. How the hell did Nia already know about that? Nia only smirked, "I told you Clarke, I have my spies. It is impressive really. I thought it would take much longer for the Commander to let you in."

Clarke pulled herself together quickly, "I told you I would not disappoint you. I will not."

"Keep doing what you are doing. Soon I will be able to make my first move against the Commander and before long, she will make a mistake and I will control the coalition myself." Without another word, Nia walked into Polis Tower, leaving a stunned Clarke behind.

"Clarke?"

Clarke was snapped out of her daze when Lexa came up from behind her. "She knows I stayed with you last night. She said she has spies that told her. She wants to control the coalition and whatever her plan is, she's going to enact it soon," Clarke spoke quickly, panic lacing her tone.

"I need to speak with Titus. If there is a spy in my guard I want them found. I will see you at the meeting later today," Lexa said. If they weren't in public, she would have kissed Clarke goodbye, but since they were Lexa subtly squeezed Clarke's hand and then made her way into the tower.

Everything was getting extremely complicated now and Clarke needed to figure something out.