The more he thought about it, the more Link came to realize something. It was a realization that, if voiced to the average (or even not-so-average) inhabitant of Hyrule, it would shock them to the core. For a while, he would not even admit it to himself, but as he continued the pursuit of his arduous quest, he grew beyond caring, and fully accepted the truth of the startling realization.
Link - knight of the realm, Hero of Hyrule, one of the five Champions - really hated the princess.
Bound by an oath of fealty, loyal to the core, and with a sense of honor that was renowned from one end of the continent to the other, the young Hylian would never suffer Princess Zelda to be harmed or brought low. If the situation demanded it, he would give his life in exchange for hers without a moments hesitation or a second thought. It had always been thus, and his hundred-year coma had done nothing to change that.
But his unflagging loyalty had no impact on his personal convictions, and as as he crouched on a narrow ledge near the top of a cliff, cold rain pouring down on him from above and an angry Hinox out for his blood flinging rocks at him from below, it was Link's private opinion that the princess was a helpless, useless twit, who, despite being endowed with the Triforce of Wisdom, had all the personality and capabilities of an icicle. Perhaps even less so - you could always use an icicle to stab something, in a pinch.
Licking rainwater from his lip, Link peered over the edge of his perch, watching as the Hinox uprooted a tree and hurled it towards him. Like the beast's other projectiles, the giant log fell far short of its target, glancing off the cliff face some twelve feet below the ledge where the Hylian crouched. Incensed, the giant ogre let loose a bone-jarring roar, pounding its chest with its fists and working itself into a frenzy. Link took the opportunity to loose off a few arrows, one of which struck the Hinox directly in its single eye, enraging it further, and then sat back on his heels as a barrage of boulders pummeled the cliff just below him.
Life, he decided as he strung an electrically charged arrow onto his bow, simply wasn't fair. All he ever wanted was to just be a simple knight; no fuss, no frills, and certainly no "great honor" of being appointed the princess's own personal bodyguard. It had been an exhausting, trying, thankless job.
And still is, he thought irritably, aiming the shock arrow at the Hinox's face before releasing it. Admittedly, he no longer had to tag along after the princess, listening to her incessant prattling, being forced to eat frogs, and constantly having her temper taken out on him, but here he was, still following in her trail, cleaning up her mess.
And what thanks do I get for it? None. It's still all about her. "Save the Princess, Link." "She's waiting for you Link." "Don't fail her Link." "The Princess has been fighting this whole time, Link." Is that so remarkable, considering this is partially her doing?
It was no secret that Princess Zelda had regarded herself as a failure, or even that some of the denizens of Hyrule thought the same a century ago. It was less known that her personal guard happened to agree; indeed, it might not even have been true a hundred years ago. But ever since he'd regained his memories, something had been niggling in the back of his mind, the hint of an idea, the thought that there had to have been a better solution. He hadn't quite figured it out, until about six weeks ago.
He'd been up on Mount Lanayru, searching for the rumored location of a shrine, when he had stumbled across the ice dragon, Naydra. The magnificent creature was trapped, draped across the pinnacles of ice, and held down by vestiges of Calamity Ganon. Overcome with pity for the beautiful dragon, Link had approached it, searching for a way to free it from its predicament. Not knowing that the Calamity had infiltrated Naydra itself, he had inadvertently brushed against one of its massive purple talons were it lay curled over an ice column.
An excruciating shock of dark power surged through him, halting his breath and flinging his body backwards. Unable to stop himself, Link fell, rolling and tumbling, down the side of Lanayru, glancing off of rocks and plunging over ledges, his momentum making it impossible to halt or even control his descent; until, more than halfway to the bottom of the mountain, he came up sharply against a large boulder, and finally his fall was arrested. There he lay, battered, wounded, and bleeding, unable to move, for five days. Drifting in and out of consciousness, he watched, in his clearer moments, as fairy after fairy rose from his pouch and bestowed their magic on him, bringing him back from the very brink of death each time his body failed. And, on the fifth day, as he was finally able to drag himself to his feet and take a few staggering steps, The Thought had occurred to him.
On that fateful day a hundred years ago, when he had fallen whilst battling the Guardians, Zelda could very well have sent him off to the Great Fairy Fountain just above Kakariko Village. It was much closer than the Shrine of Resurrection, and the fairies could have kept him stable - or at least alive - until Princess Mipha could be sent for. They could have taken on Ganon before he rose to full power, conquered the Divine Beasts, and took over Hyrule Castle, and none of this would have happened. Ideally, Link could right now have been retired and living happily in a remote woodland somewhere, in a cabin with a fireplace and lots of books; or he could be safely dead, untroubled by the current ways of the world.
Instead, the princess had sent him to the Shrine, to be put in suspended animation, and in suspended animation he had remained, for a full century.
And see where that's gotten me. Stuck on a mountain in the middle of a thunderstorm, just a rain-slick cliff away from being turned into Hinox toejam.
Link once more peered over the lip of the ledge, squinting through the rain at the Hinox in question. The simpleminded ogre was, apparently, not so simpleminded as to forget that it was trying to kill him, and it flung another tree at him with insulting ease. Though too high up for the projectiles to actually hit him, the impact sent a tremor up the cliffside, and the Hylian hastily retreated as far back as the shallow ledge would permit. The idea of being turned into toejam did not particularly appeal to him, and he had no desire to lose his balance and go sliding down the mountain to face the giant on the ground.
He selected another electrical arrow from his quiver and set it to his bow, waiting for the Hinox to uncover its single eye. The creature had just enough brains to protect its most vulnerable spot whenever it saw an arrow, but Link knew it would eventually lose patience and start chucking boulders at him again.
A sudden thunderclap crashed upon his ears as lightning struck the mountain above him; startled, he instinctively released the bowstring. The arrow thudded into the ground, an electrical current traveling across the rain-soaked grass and up the Hinox's legs, irritating the beast, but doing no great damage. Link grunted in annoyance as he strung another arrow; the specialty variety didn't come cheap.
There's got to be an easier way, he thought as he sighted down the shaft. The Hinox chanced throwing another boulder at his adversary, and was rewarded with an arrow to the eyeball. The enraged ogre's roar of pain was lost in another crash of thunder, and Link's eyes lit up with an idea. Carefully setting aside his bow, he retrieved several metal shields from his pack, gauging the distance between himself and the Hinox with a practiced eye. A quick flick of his wrist sent a shield spinning down to land on the sodden grass by the monster's foot, the other three following after in rapid succession. One ricocheted off the Hinox's leg and bounced away, but the others lay around it, a dangerous minefield to the eyes of anyone cognitive of the habits of lightning. The Hinox, being a simple creature, had no knowledge of electricity, and to its mind, the projectiles its diminutive enemy had sent its way were no more than little trinkets. It roared derisively and uprooted another tree.
Unconcerned, Link sat back on his heels and waited. Scarcely two minutes had passed before three massive bolts of lightning descended from the sky, striking the shields and sending deadly volts of electricity racing across the puddles and up the Hinox's body. The giant monster spasmed, let out a last ear-splitting bellow, and collapsed to the saturated ground, its body dissolving into a cloud of smoke that dissipated on the humid air.
Link blew out a pent-up breath, his whole body going slack with the relief that came after the conclusion of every fight. Gathering up his bow and quivers of arrows, he unfurled his glider and leapt from the ledge, gliding smoothly down to solid ground to land among the debris left behind by the deceased monster. Kicking aside undesirable detritus like giant toenails and rotten, half-devoured fruit, he examined the items worth salvaging: a bow that appeared to once have been carried by a knight of Hyrule, a topaz still embedded in a piece of stone, a few rupees, and a rusty sword. Pocketing the topaz and the rupees, he added the bow to his arsenal and went about gathering the rest of the remnants into a single pile, onto the top of which he tossed the rusty sword. Dusting his hands off, he glanced around, making sure he left the little clearing as tidy as he could. Normally he'd burn whatever he didn't take, but such an attempt would be futile in this downpour. He supposed the Zoras would clean it up the next time they were up this way.
Just as he was about to continue on his way, he remembered his shields. Cursing under his breath, he hastened to to collect them, stuffing them in his pack as quickly as he could; he had no desire to share the unfortunate Hinox's fate. At least Her Highness isn't here to send me off to the Shrine of Resurrection again he thought with an ironic half-smile.
He was taking a last cursory glance around and turning to go when disaster struck - quite literally. Another jagged bolt of lightning flashed down from the heavens, striking the rusty sword and throwing smaller bolts in every direction. Link was thrown off his feet by the blast, flying backwards to come up sharply against the cliff side before sliding to the ground, twitching uncontrollably as electricity crackled over his body, sending white-hot fire coursing through his veins. He was dimly aware of someone screaming in the distance, and wondered, with a detached sort of interest, if it was himself. Such a display of weakness was humiliating, but seemed inevitable in his current situation, and he felt a last, irrational stab of irritation at the Princess of Hyrule
Bugger, he thought distantly, as his vision tunneled and went black. This is all her fault.