Listen, I know there are discrepancies. I am an overworked fast food worker that writes in her free time. I don't have time to read this shit through and make sure it all makes sense. With my sleep deprived mind it all makes sense to me.
Itachi is eighteen. Fifteen when he attempted to do the suicide.
Everyone else is mostly two years younger than him. Kay? Kay.
Sorry about the confusion friends.
She was about to call out to him and run to him, but Naruto grabbed her around her waist and slapped his hand over her mouth. "Don't. You'll just make it worse," he whispered in her ear, trying to calm her down. Sakura turned to him, tears in her eyes. She seemed about to say something, but instead she shoved past him and ran up the stairs.
"How dare you turn him against me?" Sasuke watched his father as he began kicking his older brother. He was quite speechless and motionless. He hadn't thought his father would punch Itachi squarely in the face. He didn't think his father would begin kicking the boy now that he was down, yelling obscenities and repeating that he had turned Sasuke against him.
"Stop!" he rushed forwards and knocked his father away from Itachi, sparing him from any more physical abuse. "Why are you hitting him?"
His father didn't answer. He just glared. "Come, Sasuke. We're going home," he finally said. He glared at the boy on the ground. He didn't want anything to do with him. Sasuke recoiled at the mention of going home with his father. He was definitely way too drunk to drive home and he wasn't about to get in the car with him. "Sasuke," his father barked his hand on the driver's door. Sasuke looked down at Itachi. He wasn't looking at him, his eyes closed tightly and curled into a tight ball.
"You're drunk, father," he said. "I am not going home with you. I'll be home soon." His voice was calm, completely different from the tumult he felt on the inside. He didn't like seeing Itachi like this and it bothered him to no end. He wanted to help him and if he went home with his father, he wouldn't have the chance to do so.
"You better be home within the next two hours, boy," his father said, eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Yes, father." Sasuke watched his father leave, the car swaying dangerously between the two lanes. He shook his head, telling himself that he shouldn't go after. He would see him at home, where he would undoubtedly wait up for him. Either that or he would fall asleep before Sasuke even managed to get home.
He sighed and stooped, pulling Itachi's arm over his shoulder and lifting him to help him towards the house. Naruto was waiting just inside the doorway, Hinata beside him. Neji and Tenten were nowhere to be found. Perhaps they were cleaning up, Sasuke didn't really care. He just cared that Itachi was hurt and needed some first aid.
"Here," Naruto said as he walked up to him. He took Itachi's other arm and slung it around his shoulders, helping Sasuke carry him into the house. They took him to the downstairs bathroom and finally let him down onto the toilet. Itachi didn't react as Sasuke pulled his shirt off of him. Sasuke was surprised and rather disgusted by what he found. There were multicolored bruises all over his chest and his stomach. There were slashes lacing across his forearms, most healed, but a few were still red and angry.
"Is this all from our father?" he asked, glued to his spot. Naruto didn't seem to notice. He seemed used to this. He attended to Itachi with expertise of someone that had done this for years.
"No. Some of it is from myself," Itachi answered after a long five minutes. He indicated his arms. Sasuke understood that he had done that himself, but the bruising was all from their father. Naruto finished patching him up and patted his shoulder, pulling his shirt back over his head. Itachi nodded in thanks, but he didn't say a word. He pulled himself up from the toilet and staggered through the house, disappearing through the door to the garage.
"Where's he going?" Naruto asked, tilting his head.
"For a cigarette. Maybe some weed," Sasuke answered, shrugging. "Where are Neji and Tenten?"
"They and Hinata are cleaning up for us. They figured they'd do something while all that went down," Naruto said. He sighed. "Sakura's upstairs. She was trying to call out to Itachi and was about to run out to him, but I stopped her. I don't think Itachi would ever forgive himself if Sakura was hurt by your dad." Sasuke only nodded. He didn't know what to say, not really. The entire ordeal was extremely disturbing to him and he couldn't quite wrap his head around it.
"I need to go home. I'll check on Itachi right now if you'll drive me home after," Sasuke said. He knew better than to ignore his father's words. If he wasn't home, the man would either pass out or come back here looking for him. No matter what he thought of his father, he wouldn't forgive himself if the man killed himself while driving drunk.
"Sure, let me go check on Sakura," Naruto said. He was worried about her. There was no knowing what she was doing with herself after she witnessed that whole scene. He was afraid she was hurting herself up there and he knew better than to leave her alone. Sasuke only nodded and went off towards the garage.
He didn't completely enter the garage. He saw too much from the doorway. Itachi held a cigarette between his lips and a razor in his hands. He was cutting into his arm, blood running down his arm and dripping onto the floor from his fingertips. Sasuke was frozen in the doorway and didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to help him. He had never cut himself and had never needed to speak to someone that was going through such things.
He had to get Naruto. He went up the stairs and to Sakura's room. He stood in the doorway and couldn't say anything then either. Sakura had been doing something as well, but he wasn't sure what. IT was odd. Blood was slowly dripping down the side of her face and she was staring blankly at the floor while Naruto was sitting beside her. He was holding her head against his shoulder.
He saw Sasuke and pulled himself carefully away from Sakura. "What was she doing?" Sasuke asked when he was outside the door.
"Hitting her head on the wall, probably since she got up here," Naruto answered, shoving his hand into his hair. "Weren't you going to talk to your brother?" he asked, wondering why Sasuke was up here. Sasuke shook his head and looked to the wall, his anger coming out.
"He's cutting himself. I don't know what to say." He hated how helpless he sounded. He hated that he didn't have the words to say or the actions to use like Naruto did. Naruto had been dealing with Sakura's mental health issues for a while and that was why he was so good at patching Itachi up. That's why he managed to get Sakura to stop her self destructive behavior so easily. He was jealous of his best friend because he knew what to do in this situation when he did not.
"We should just bring them to each other," Naruto said, shaking his head. "I think Sakura will snap out of it if we tell her Itachi needs her." Sasuke didn't know if that would work, but it was worth a try. He nodded to Naruto and the blond walked back into Sakura's room.
"Sak," Naruto said softly when he sat beside her, pulling her head back to his shoulder. He was happy that she hadn't continued hitting her head on the wall when he'd left. "Itachi's hurting really bad right now, Sak. Think you could talk to him?" Something sparked in Sakura's eyes and she nodded, grabbing Naruto's hand. "Alright, let's go to him then." He didn't think Itachi would come up here. He didn't know how the older boy was feeling.
Sakura pulled herself up slowly and wrapped her hand in Naruto's, allowing him to lead her down the stairs. He stopped at the door of the garage, not wanting to look inside. He knew the scene was probably pretty bad. He didn't know how deep or how many times Itachi would cut himself and he didn't know if there was blood everywhere. Sakura took a moment to look around the corner and sighed. She didn't say anything as she let go of Naruto's hand and entered the garage.
"Weasel?" she asked softly, her voice on the verge of tears. He had been cutting himself. He was almost too interested in the blood trailing down his arm. "Itachi," her voice was still so weak and still so soft. She had begun crying at this point and couldn't keep it in. She pushed herself into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face down to rest on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Itachi."
He stared at her chest, his mind reeling. Why was she crying? Why was she sorry? He had ruined the night for everyone. The secret he'd been trying to keep from Sasuke had come to light at long last. He felt like a failure. He felt like he'd done a shit job at protecting his brother. He hated himself. Why couldn't he protect his little brother more? He could deal with the physical and verbal abuse. He wasn't so sure Sasuke could.
These thoughts swirled around his mind and he finally dropped the razor. He began crying himself as his arms moved to crush her against him. Sakura held him tightly as well as they cried together. He still didn't know why she was crying, but he didn't care. It was an odd moment and he couldn't say he hated it. Having someone to be with like this meant more to him than anything else in the world.
She didn't seem to care that he was smearing blood down her back and effectively ruining her costume. She didn't seem to care that he was holding her so tightly that it was hard to breathe. They held each other in their mutual pain and his mind was at ease. Hers wasn't so much, but having him in her arms brought her a sense of safety.
"Are you alright?" she asked after a few minutes, pulling back to look at him. He didn't answer. He watched his hand as he drew it through her hair. He pulled away when he found dampness, the reason for the dried trail of blood on her face.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I had a love affair with the wall," she whispered, looking away from him. "I tried to go to you and Naruto stopped me. I was so scared and it hurt so much. I didn't have access to a razor." Sakura had often gone to great lengths to hurt herself if she felt like it. When she didn't have a razor, she'd use a knife. If there was no easy way to get a knife, she'd use a needle. If she didn't have access to any of that, she would hit her head on the wall until she only listened to the rhythm and hardly ever realized if she started bleeding from where she did hit it.
"Don't hurt yourself over me," he said softly, burying his head in her neck as he pulled her closer. "I am not worth such a thing."
"What are you worth, then?" she asked, her voice wavering on the edge of tears again. Was he not worth her pain? She didn't understand.
"I would like to be worth your love instead of pain you inflict on yourself," he said softly. "I do not wish to be the cause of your self harming, just as I am sure you do not want to be the cause of mine. I know the dark thoughts are overwhelming sometimes, but I do not want my own issues to swallow you whole."
"It was my own dark thoughts. You were getting hurt and I couldn't do anything about it. I felt so helpless," Sakura said, her voice thick with more tears. A few slipped past her eyelids and he was quick to wipe them away. He decided, then, that he was going to tell her. He knew that she didn't remember. He knew that it might hurt her more than help her, but he didn't care. She had to know. He had to tell her.
"You have been saving me far longer than you can remember," he said softly. Her breath caught, but he didn't give her a chance to ask what he was talking about. "You were the one that saved me from my own suicide attempt. You were a thirteen year old girl and you pulled me out of the lake. You ripped off your clothes and mine and held me close to warm me up. I do not deserve your tears and I do not deserve your pain or your love. I am selfish, but I do not care. I want to keep you safe because you did the same for me three years ago."
"What?" his words didn't quite make sense to her. "I'm the one that saved you?" he didn't answer. He let her think it through it. She pulled him closer and hugged him so tightly he was sure he was supposed to die from oxygen deprivation.
"You are far stronger than I can tell you," he said quietly. "Though you deal with your own issues, you are still here to help me. It is more than I can ask for. It is selfish of me to keep taking while I give you nothing in return." She had come to him. She had climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around him. She had gotten him to drop the razor. She was stronger and he borrowed her strength and her courage when she offered it.
"Itachi, no," she said suddenly. "Don't tell me that you're going to push me away. We do so much better when we're together. The dark thoughts aren't around when you're near and I know that I stop you from cutting yourself so often. Don't tell me that you're going to hurt me." Itachi was quiet through her words and hushed her, rubbing her back soothingly.
"I never said such things," he said quietly, pushing her face to his chest. "I wish to continue being selfish. I wish to continue kissing you and holding you. I do not wish to let you go." Sakura blinked and more tears began falling. He was astounded. Was she okay? He didn't know. He didn't know why she was crying. "Are you alright?" he asked, trying to make sure she was okay, brushing his fingertips over her face and trying to brush away all her tears.
"I was just scared you were going to go away," she said softy. "I don't want you to go away and I guess I'm selfish that way. I like having you around and the way you've opened up so much in the past couple months." She hiccupped and sniffled, wiping her eyes on his shoulder. He couldn't help the smile on his face. "So, what are you going to do?" she asked. She wanted to know if he was going to run away or if he had another plan in place. "Are you going to get out of that house? Are you going to go away to college?" she didn't like thinking that he wouldn't be so close to her, but she knew he had to do what he needed.
"I cannot leave that house," he said, his voice filled with venom. "Sasuke still has years before he is an adult, and I cannot leave him there alone. I have been dealing with our father's anger for years now. I do not think Sasuke is strong enough to deal with it himself." Sakura was surprised that Itachi wanted to protect his brother so much. She would have thought it astounding had it been a couple months ago when Sasuke rarely talked to Itachi, but it was less surprising now that she had seen them grow a little closer.
"I know you don't think you're strong, but you are," she said softly. Itachi hugged her again. He didn't know what caused her to say those words, but they were the only words he needed to hear. He hadn't thought he was strong. He hadn't thought he was brave, but here was the bravest girl he knew, telling him that he was. He craved her gentleness and soft words. He loved her smiling face and the way she could calm him, no matter what.
"I'll have to talk with Sasuke about this eventually," Itachi said with a deep sigh. Sakura only nodded.
"You can do that tomorrow. For now, why don't we get cleaned up and get to sleep?" she asked, brushing her fingers soothingly through his hair. He nodded numbly and she carefully crawled out of his lap, holding her hand out to him. He let her pull him up and lead him into the house. Naruto was the only one left and he offered the two of them a halfhearted smile.
"Hinata, Neji, and Tenten had to get home. I took Sasuke home a while ago. There's nothing to clean up." Hinata, Neji, and Tenten had taken care of it before they left, knowing something was going on in the garage. They hadn't tried to peek or anything, so Sakura and Itachi were safe. "I'm going to go to bed, though."
"We're going to take a shower and get to bed, too," Sakura said, looking up at Itachi. She didn't think he would let her get very far from him at this point and she didn't know which one of them would take a shower first, but they would figure it out. Naruto nodded, starting to go to his bedroom, but he stopped.
"Come with me for a second," he said, gesturing towards his room. Sakura and Itachi followed him and he didn't take long to throw a long sleeved shirt and some pajama pants at Itachi. "I know you what you were doing, so use these instead of your dirty clothes," was all Naruto said. Itachi nodded gratitude in his eyes. Sakura gave him a half-smile and pulled Itachi back to the stairs.
"So do you want to take a shower first or should I?" she asked as they got into her room. She went straight to her dresser and began pulling out her own pajamas.
"I would rather just take it with you," he said quietly, creeping up behind her to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her back to his chest, hugging her tightly. He didn't want to be too far away from her. She was his source of comfort and he didn't want to be away from her for even ten minutes. Sakura flushed a dark red. She was quiet as she nodded. He wasn't going to try anything, not if she didn't instigate first. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
She pulled him towards the bathroom and turned the shower on; trying to make sure it wasn't too hot. It would aggravate both their wounds if it was. Itachi pulled his shirt over his head and was about to pull his pants down when he felt Sakura's small, cold hands on his back. He froze and straightened, letting her draw her fingertips over her back. She moved to his front and traced his chest, her eyes locked on the many scars and bruises.
"Don't cry," was all he said. He knew it was ugly. He was rather unconfident in his looks, especially when he wasn't wearing clothes. He had so many scars and there were always bruises, some half healed and some not. It didn't make for a pretty picture.
"I wasn't going to," she said softly, finally pulling away from him. She turned her back to him and began pulling her costume off. She tossed it into the garbage, knowing it couldn't be salvaged. She didn't spare a look at him as she got into the shower. She was a little embarrassed. She hadn't allowed anyone else to see her naked, baths when she was four with Naruto notwithstanding.
Itachi got into the shower behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against her chest. She closed her eyes, basking in the almost overwhelming warmth he gave off. She let him hold her for a few minutes before pulling away. She realized she'd have to turn to him to grab the soap and so took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before she turned around. Itachi was staring at her, but kept his eyes carefully trained on her face. She was glad for this, what with feeling so self conscious.
"Here," he pulled her body wash from behind her and placed it in her hands. She smiled, her nervousness bleeding into it. She handed him her shampoo, knowing she should give him something to do or he would watch her body. She turned around again before washing her body. She was surprised when she felt his hands in her hair, working the shampoo into it. He was slow and careful, not wanting to get too much into her wound. She had stopped in her surprise and he nudged her gently to get her moving again.
While she rinsed everything out, he washed his own hair and she found it was going to be slightly awkward to let him under the spray of the water. He disregarded her as she attempted to move to the right to let him pass. He pulled her to his chest, bringing them both under the water. She couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. She leaned her chin on his chest, not feeling so self conscious anymore. All too soon, though, he was pulling back, tugging the conditioner from its place. He did his hair first before handing it to her and going to wash his body. She watched as he carefully washed his wrists, the blood raining down on the shower floor.
She was feeling a little calmer as they dried off and pulled on their clean clothes. She took his towel and tossed it into the hamper before gesturing towards the door. He followed her back to her room, where she crawled into bed and stared at him. He gave her a small smile before joining her. He laid on his back and pulled her on top of his chest, enjoying the feel of her weight on his chest. She smiled and dropped her head on his shoulder. She was so tired after everything. It was now two in the morning and she had stayed up far longer than she thought she would. Itachi brushed his fingers soothingly down her back, putting her to sleep quickly; he was quick to follow.
To his surprise, she was the one that woke him.
"Shit." She jumped off of his chest and went to the door, peering out into the hallway before breathing a sigh of relief. "We overslept. My parents are home they're totally going to kill me if they see you in bed with me." Itachi nodded.
"My car is still in the drive, Sakura, how do you explain that?"
"I didn't say they'd be mad that you had spent the night, Itachi," she said, rolling her eyes at him. "They're going to be pissed if they find you in my bed. Come on, quick," she said gesturing towards the door. He wasted no time in getting out of the bed. She walked quickly and quietly and opened a door a few feet from her own. "This is the guest room," she said softly, letting him enter. "Just go back to sleep, okay?"
"Alright," he nodded. She closed the door as gently as she could so it didn't make a sound and then she walked down the stairs. Her mother was in the kitchen, checking the cupboards. She always did this after Naruto and Sakura were allowed to have a party. She wanted to make sure nothing was missing and nothing was broken. She seemed to be pretty satisfied after five minutes of doing this and set to work making some breakfast. It was eight in the morning when they'd gotten home and she wasn't expecting her children to be up. Therefore, she could make them some breakfast.
"Hey, mom," Sakura said as she leaned against the counter. Her mother smiled brightly and handed her a banana.
"How was the party, Sakura?" she asked as she bustled around the kitchen. "I saw Itachi's car outside, did he spend the night?"
"Yeah," Sakura said, shrugging. "We found him asleep on a couch and thought it was better to just let him sleep in the guest room," she lied easily. She wasn't about to let her mother know that Itachi also hurt himself and of the issues that had happened at midnight. She didn't want to give her mother a heart attack. "The party was good, though. Everyone had fun."
"That's good. Itachi's a nice boy. I think he's nice to have around," her mother commented. She seemed to be making scrambled eggs and toast, one of the few things she could make that didn't come out tasting terrible. "Why don't you wake Naruto and him up?" she asked. "Your father's gone to watch the game at a bar." She wasn't about to let him watch the game with his friends here. They were far too loud and she was cleaning up beer cans for days after they left. It had only been a few times before she had put a stop to it.
"Okay," Sakura said, hopping off towards Naruto's room first. She hoped she would have time later to take a nap with Itachi, though she didn't know when she'd get a chance. When his father went out to watch the game, he wasn't back until six or seven at night. That meant she would just have to see if her mother had anything at the gym she had to take care of today. She really hoped she did. "Hey, Naruto, mom's making breakfast," Sakura said after she knocked twice.
"What? Okay," Naruto sat straight up. He was still half asleep and it made Sakura laugh. She moved into his room and took his arm, hoisting him up. She pulled him into the kitchen, where her mother pushed a glass of orange juice into Naruto's hands. Naruto smiled sleepily and began talking with his mother as Sakura went upstairs to get Itachi. She didn't bother knocking and just walked in. Itachi was lying on top of the covers, reading something on his phone. She jumped into the bed next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"What are you reading?" she asked, though didn't try to look at the phone. She didn't want to read anything he didn't want her to. He did the same for her.
"Just some articles. Is there something you needed?" he asked.
"My mom's just making breakfast and she told me to wake you up," she giggled. Itachi only nodded and locked his phone before attempting to get up. She grabbed his wrist and brought him back down. She pulled him on top of her and kissed him, her arms tight around his neck. He couldn't help the smile that took him over and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to his chest. The kiss was over too soon and she was squirming out from under him.
"What was that for?" he asked, getting up as well.
"I just wanted to kiss you. Is that an issue?" Sakura asked, a mischievous look in her eyes. Itachi just smiled at her and grabbed her before she could open the door. He pulled her against his chest and kissed her again, holding her there for a few moments longer than she had held him. She gave him a glorious smile when he pulled away and gestured towards the door. She smiled again and led him down the stairs.
"Sorry, mom, it was pretty hard to wake him up," Sakura said with a soft giggle. Her mother didn't seem to care much, just like she thought she wouldn't. She accepted the glasses of orange juice when her mother held them out and she gave one to Itachi. He sipped it quietly. He had still said few words to her parents, but when he did he was quite polite and her parents thought highly of him for that.
"Well, you got him up just in time. Breakfast is ready," her mother said with a smile. She doled out the eggs and toast, giving them each a plate before following them to the dining table. There wasn't much talk as they ate, but no one really minded it. It was usually quiet around the dining table.
"Do you have to go to the gym today?" Sakura asked after a few minutes. She was almost done, and wanted to ask before she got up to wash her and Itachi's plate. Itachi was a quick eater and had already finished.
"Yeah, I have to go over some files with the director," her mother said. "We have to make sure everyone's paid for this month." She and the director did this at the first of every month. If they didn't, the clients would try and get away with not paying for a month. She had figured this out about a year ago and didn't like it. "Are you three going to do anything?"
"We're pretty tired after last night," Naruto said with a laugh. "I think we were just going to watch some movies and be potatoes today."
"Well, you did a good job with the cleaning, so you're more than allowed to," she said. Usually, she wouldn't approve of such behavior, but they had put together an entire party and then cleaned up after themselves, so she figured it wasn't bad. She would want to sit on a couch all day if she'd accomplished that, too.
Sakura got up and collected the plates to wash them, Itachi trailing after her. He dried them for her after she washed them and followed her back through the house to the living room, where Naruto was already sitting in an armchair.
"Have you gotten a text from Sasuke yet, Itachi?" Naruto asked. "He's texted me and wants to know if you're okay and if you're ready to talk."
"I'll call him," Itachi said quickly, leaving the room to do so.
"Is he doing better, Sak?" Naruto asked. "Are you doing better?" Sakura had had a slight mental breakdown too, he had to remind himself. Sakura was easy to tell when she was doing better though. He didn't know Itachi well enough to judge it yet.
"He was doing better last night," Sakura said, watching Itachi in the hallway. He was talking quietly into the phone. "He's really protective of Sasuke so when he witnessed his father doing that, he couldn't really forgive himself. I got him to stop beating himself up, though." She didn't want to tell Naruto everything, for a lot of it had been extremely personal.
"Sasuke wants to come here and talk," Itachi said as he came back to the living room. "I am not sure I can." He wasn't sure he could make the words come forth and tell his little brother what was really going on. He wasn't sure he could tell his brother everything that their father had really done to him and everything he had been sparing him. He didn't know how to talk to him about it. It was easy talking about his experiences and why he did things, but he didn't know how to go about this.
"Well, we'll be here for you," Sakura said with a smile. "Naruto's really good at dealing with Sasuke and he'll calm him down if anything goes too far," she shrugged. "Naruto's really good with a lot of people. I've been telling him forever that he should be a counselor." Naruto just shook his head and grinned.
"Nope. One day I'll be a vet." He liked animals way too much and had always been interested in the medical field. He just didn't think he could deal with humans like that day to day. Sakura just laughed and Itachi watched the exchange curiously. They really did seem like siblings, though Naruto had only come here when he was four. It was a nice fit at least and he bet their parents were glad Sakura didn't grow up alone. She would probably have more issues with her mental health if she had.
"I thank you for your support and your being there," Itachi said. "I would suggest that we meet with him elsewhere, however. I do not wish for your mother to overhear." He was being quieter than usual just because he didn't want their mother to hear. He was certain it would only make things worse and he wasn't in the mood for it. Sakura only nodded and Naruto was enthusiastic in his grin. He was glad that Sasuke wouldn't be kept in the dark anymore. He didn't want him kept in the dark. It had finally come to the point where Sasuke wasn't being sheltered anymore and it was a pleasant moment.
"What about the coffee shop we go to before school?" Sakura asked. She could do with a cup of coffee. Itachi seemed to think for a moment and then just shrugged. He couldn't be upset with that. No one would bother them there, especially if they sat in the corner booth at the back of the shop. Itachi pulled out his phone and let Sasuke know that Naruto would be picking him up soon.
"I cannot show my face when my father is home," Itachi said quietly, "If you could pick him up, Naruto." Naruto blinked and nodded. He hadn't thought it was that bad, but he wasn't really surprised. He didn't know too much of what Itachi went through, but he was quite certain he would find out today along with his best friend and Sakura.
"So, when should we leave?" Sakura asked, leaning into Itachi's shoulder. She was trying to be ridiculously optimistic to keep Itachi's spirits high. It seemed to be working. He wrapped his arm around her waist and offered her a small, gentle smile. She was a bright ray of sunlight and it brought warmth to his chest whenever she smiled at him.
"I told him that Naruto would be there to pick him up soon. We may go now if you wish," he said. He was still wearing pajamas, but the guys at the coffee shop didn't give a shit. It was still early, too. He felt they could get away with it. He just didn't care at this point. He was too tired and worn out to care. Sakura didn't seem to care either, though.
"Alright," Naruto got out of his chair. "I'll be off to get Sasuke and I'll meet you at the coffee shop." They followed him to the door after sounding their agreement and he grabbed the keys. Sakura knew he would drive carefully at least. Naruto wasn't really that bad of a driver when it came down to it, she was certain he was only careful because their father would kill him if he were to get in an accident.
Sakura and Itachi set off towards the coffee shop as Naruto went the other way. They made it there within five minutes. Sakura ordered Itachi a coffee and herself a hot chocolate. They were sitting in the back corner, sipping their drinks. Itachi had his hand tight around her waist and she was leaning into his shoulder and they didn't move when the other two joined him. She knew her touch gave him comfort and didn't want to move away from him. He seemed grateful, for his hold grew just a little tighter.
Sasuke and Naruto got their own drinks before sitting on the other side of them. Itachi merely waited for Sasuke to talk. He didn't know how to start or where to start and he would rather just answer any and all of his questions. It was silent for a few long minutes. Sakura and Naruto were just staring at the table, Itachi out the window, and Sasuke's gaze was caught, unwavering, on his brother's face.
"How long, Itachi?" he asked suddenly.
"Ten years."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was protecting you." Itachi was still staring out the window, unwilling to meet his brother's eyes. From his tone, he felt as though he had betrayed him. He didn't like the fact that he felt that way. He had been protecting him and keeping him out of harm's way. He hadn't betrayed him in the least.
"I don't need protection."
Itachi's eyes snapped to Sasuke's. The movement was so quick that Sakura was quite surprised. She covered his hand with hers, hoping he wasn't upset. She didn't think she could deal with another scene like the night before. He was silent in his thoughts and didn't quite know how to answer him. Sakura didn't know how to help him. She knew he didn't know what to say and didn't know how to communicate for him.
"You don't have anything to say?" Sasuke asked, his dark eyes watching those that mirrored them. Itachi watched him, a calm look in his eyes. It annoyed him. How could his brother be so calm when he was sitting there, trying to ask him about the abuse he'd endured at the hands of his father? He didn't understand.
"I don't know what to say, Sasuke." Hell, his voice was calm too. He was too goddamn calm for this. Sasuke wanted him to flip out. He wanted him to tell all and be a blubbering mess, or whatever Itachi's form of that was. Itachi wasn't one to blubber, but he could be more forthcoming than 'I don't know what to say.'
"Tell me why you never told me," Sasuke reminded himself to keep quiet so the workers wouldn't look their way. "Tell me why that, instead of letting me know and letting me help you, you pushed me away and made me think you were a worthless piece of shit for years." Itachi was surprised. He hadn't thought his brother had felt that way.
"It was my burden to bear. Father does not see ou the way he sees me. You are safe from his wrath and I would rather keep it that way. I have endured his violence and his insults for years. I did not want you to have to face it as well. I attempted to commit suicide and ended up in a hellish institute for a year. I did not want the same to happen to you."
"So you thought it was better to let me hate you and think you were a terrible person?" Sasuke asked, venom in his voice. He didn't like that his brother had suffered in silence. He didn't like that this was still going on all these years later. He wanted to know how his family had managed to keep it hidden. He had known, all too well, that his father had great disdain for his brother, but hadn't known he verbally and physically abused him.
"I let you think what you thought," Itachi said. "I know my personality changed, but I hoped you had attributed it to my becoming a teenager. I did not want to know what you thought of me." Now that he knew his brother had thought so lowly of him for so many years, it hurt him just a bit. The brothers had been pleasant as of late, but it had become the new normal. He didn't like hearing this, but he had heard a lot of things that were difficult to swallow through the years.
"I didn't know what to think, Itachi! All of a sudden, father hated you and complained endlessly of anything you did. I didn't understand why, but I started listening and believing it. Mother said anything against it and so I thought the same. They had never been anything but nice to me and so I really just didn't know," Sasuke sighed, slumping back in his seat. He didn't know what to say at this point. He didn't know how to talk to his brother, had never really learned. All these things that he had repressed and thought through the years had finally begun to come forth and he couldn't stop it. It was just coming out of his mouth rapidly and he couldn't stop it.
"Our mother will never say anything against father," Itachi said quietly, looking away from him again. "She is scared that the anger and rage that is pointed mostly towards me will be pointed towards her if she does so. Our mother is a coward and has never felt anything but fear. She will never be brave. She will never do anything to stop his actions." Itachi's voice was hollow.
"What did she do?" Sasuke asked, watching his brother carefully. He was a very upset man and Sasuke could plainly see it. Sakura was watching him too, her small hands on his chest and bright eyes watching him, making sure he wasn't going to freak out.
"She watched. She would never stop him. That is the way it was. I eventually gave up calling for her," Itachi said. He had begged his mother, upon several occasions, to make his father stop. They never took him to the hospital after his father freaked out and he had had several broken bones. They had never set correctly. His mother had set them and she had no expertise in the area. The breaks were obvious on his body, especially when attention was drawn to them. He had horrid arthritis when it was terribly cold out, mostly in his right leg and left arm, where most of the breaks had occurred. He didn't say any of this, not wanting to overload his brother.
Sasuke was silent. Itachi sighed and realized he should continue on. "Don't hate them, Sasuke. They love you, more so than I. I count you lucky and I will continue to keep his wrath from you," Itachi was trying to reassure him, let it be known that Itachi wasn't about to abandon him. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his brother.
"Why should that make me feel better? You continue being hurt just so I won't be? What kind of sacrifice is that?"
"One that will keep you sane," Itachi cut across sharply, his eyes hard and narrowed. "I know this is hard for you, Sasuke. I know there are things being revealed to you that you never knew before. However, knowing what these past ten years have done to my mind and my wellbeing, I do not wish it on you like I would not wish it on my worst enemy."
"That isn't for you to decide, Itachi," Sasuke said darkly.
"Sasuke," Naruto cut across sharply. "You have been friends with Sakura and I for years. Don't you remember watching me fall apart at her bedside after her accident? Don't you remember me when she was taken to the hospital because she collapsed at school because she'd been starving herself? Don't you remember how upset I was when she was thrown in the psych ward so many times and started hurting and cutting herself? You didn't know what to do. Sakura was hurting and it was killing me because I didn't know how to fix it. He saved you that pain and he's trying to continue saving it. I know that it hurts that you didn't know anything concrete about it until today, but you have to realize that he thought it was best. He didn't want to put that burden on you and I admire him for it. He thought of you before himself and he committed a selfless sacrifice just so you didn't have to kill yourself over his issues and so you weren't worried about him every moment of the day." Sasuke was silent after Naruto's violent outburst and silent tears were dripping down Sakura's cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Naruto," she said softly, her hands dropping to her lap. She kept her gaze on the table. She hadn't known the pain she'd caused her brother and she felt so very terrible about it now, though she couldn't remember a lick of it. It made her even worse that she couldn't remember and couldn't properly apologize for the feelings she'd caused him. She wished that she had been like Itachi and had tried to save him the pain as well.
"Sak, calm down," Naruto offered her a gentle smile and Itachi hugged her to him, brushing his fingers through her hair. "You're still living and that's far braver than anything else. You see the world with a whole lot of optimism even though your head's all messed up. You're two different people, Itachi and you. It's two different situations. Itachi didn't have anyone, no support system, no nothing. He has it now and that's the important thing. We've always been here to support you so you didn't have to hide it like that.
"Tell me that you'll get away when you graduate," Sasuke said softly, staring at the table. Sakura had quieted with Naruto's words and was sipping her hot chocolate again. "Tell me that you'll go to live in a dorm or something or that you'll get an apartment. Tell me that you aren't staying in that house after you're allowed to be free."
"I will stay," Itachi said calmly, looking at his brother. "I know it hurts that I kept this from you. I know you do not wish this treatment to continue on, but I do not wish for you to be subjected to the treatment. I have dealt with the pain for the better part of a decade. A few more years will not kill me. He had not managed it when I was a child, he will never manage it now." His father hadn't been able to subject him to the likes of the beatings he'd received as a child. Itachi still didn't fight back, the memories of his father pulling a knife on him all too real, but he couldn't cause too much damage now. It had been years since he had broken a bone or even broken the skin as he'd hit him.
"I don't want you to be hurt anymore," Sasuke said harshly, biting back the tears that were rising in his throat. Why wasn't Itachi listening? He wasn't one to cry, though, out of frustration or otherwise. He bit his tongue and swallowed, effectively keeping them down.
"I do not wish for your skin to mirror mine," Itachi said quietly. He knew Sasuke had seen him without his shirt the night before. "You do remember the sight of my chest, do you not?" Sasuke nodded numbly. He had a painfully clear memory of Itachi's pale chest littered with new and old bruises, white scars that were both long and seemed rather deep when they'd been inflicted. "I consider myself incredibly unattractive because of it," Itachi said, knowing he would have to get personal with this in an attempt to make Sasuke understand. "I do not wish for you to think the same. I do not know how you will fare against father's fists and I do not know how you will fare if he pulls a knife on you. I would rather not think about it. I would rather continue taking it than chance you receiving it instead." Sasuke understood then. He had understood before, but it was with the force Itachi used in his words that it finally made it through his head. The scars weren't all mental and he didn't want the reminder to stare Sasuke in the face every day, the memories banging against his skull and reminding him every moment of the day.
"It still bothers you?" Sasuke asked, staring at the table.
"I can tell you where every scar came from," Itachi said, "in great detail. I can tell you exactly where our father caused the most damage and the memory of that night. I can tell you what it felt like to drown and the terror I felt at the prospect of living." Itachi didn't tell him the good things at the moment, knowing he had to hit hard and deep first. "These are things I do not want you to live with. I wish for you to be normal though I will be permanently messed up."
"You're not as messed up as you think," Sasuke muttered. "You're just different, like Sakura is. Sakura's different, but she isn't fucked up. She just has thoughts she can't get away from like you have a situation you can't get away from because you're so worried about me." Itachi was certain Sasuke understood now and he gave him a small smile. He was glad he coming to terms with the information he had now. Itachi was certain it would have taken longer, but Sasuke was a lot more accepting as of late. His long friendship with Sakura definitely didn't hurt his acceptance.
"It is not all bad, brother. Sakura pulled me from the water and, for a moment, she took the terror away as she held me in her arms." He was getting way too personal and was letting way too much out, but he didn't care. It was needed. He would not do this if he didn't completely trust the people around him and if it was not needed. "I looked forward to seeing her again, even as I was in that terrible psychiatric institute. Although she didn't remember me when I saw her again, I was glad to watch her from afar. She was still quite the angel I remembered." Sakura flushed at his words. She hadn't thought he would say something like that.
Sasuke didn't know what to say. Itachi had never gotten this personal. It was nice to know that he could be personal and could let things like this out every now and then. Itachi was continuing to speak and he scrambled to pull himself out of his thoughts and return his avid attention.
"Sakura has brought you back to me as well, Sasuke," Itachi said quietly, watching him with an impassive stare. Sasuke couldn't see what he was thinking at all. "I cannot thank her enough for the hope she has given me since that night. I am not sad she does not remember it. I do not hold it against her. I am glad that she is here now and has opened more doors for me than I could imagine." Sakura hid her face in her hair, way too embarrassed at this moment.
"You're good for each other," Sasuke heard himself saying. "You think alike and you can offer the comfort to each other that Naruto and I can't offer you." Itachi was surprised at his words. Sasuke wasn't speaking in venom. He was calm and was thinking his words through now. He was quite glad that he was accepting this now. He wanted nothing more than Sasuke's acceptance. "Are you happy, Itachi?" Sasuke asked.
"When I attempted my life, I saw it as my lowest point," Itachi said quietly. "When Sakura pulled me from the water, it gave me hope and reason to live. I wanted to see her again and thank her, but she did not remember me and therefore would not talk to me. I didn't need her to. I was happy to watch her and have her nearby. However, she did notice me after a while and things have only gotten better. Things always get better, Sasuke, I just had to wait."
"Sometimes our happy times are clouded and hidden by rain and storm," Sakura said softly, quietly, still hiding n her hair. "If we just wait, those clouds will break and the rain will stop eventually. Sometimes, it's just the eye of the storm and there's more to weather until our happily ever after happens. It will happen though. We have to push it forwards and make it happen sometimes instead of just weathering through the storm, but it always comes eventually." Itachi tightened his arm around her, pulling her harshly to his chest. Sasuke was watching her with a look in his eyes that Itachi hadn't seen anymore. It was gentle and kind. It was knowledge and understanding. He was glad he got to see that look in his eyes and knew he would keep it imprinted into his memory. It was the first time he'd seen it and he never wanted to forget it. Sakura rested her cheek on Itachi's shoulder, her eyes closed. She was tired, but was still listening. The emotions at the table over the past hour or so were just overwhelming her and tiring her out a bit.
"Itachi?" Sasuke said, staring uneasily around him. Itachi stared at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. "Thanks, you know?" he said softly. "Even though I didn't know, it means a lot that you protected me so much." Though he had begun by being betrayed and hurt, his understanding calmed him and made him realize it was the way Itachi had tried to show him that he loved him above anyting else. He knew that Sakura probably held a place above him, but Itachi had a lot of care and love invested in him as well. This realization touched him more than his brother would ever know.
Itachi knew Sasuke was trying to tell him that he loved him in so many words. They had never been ones to speak their feelings freely, so this was new to the both of them. It was odd and different, but not unwelcome.
"Why don't we get back home?" Naruto asked. "It looks like Sakura needs a nap," he laughed. Sakura had completely fallen asleep at this point, her breathing slow. Itachi hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep. He jostled her gently and she woke slowly, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"What's up?" she asked, still rubbing her eyes. She really was tired and just wanted to curl up for a nap with Itachi.
"We're going home," Naruto said with an easy grin. Sakura nodded, pulling herself up. She swayed drunkenly and Itachi was quick to catch her around the waist and give her a steadying hand around her forearm. She smiled and leaned back against him in thanks before standing on her own. Itachi grabbed their trash and threw it out. Sakura followed the other three out the door and climbed into Itachi's car, her head on the side of the door almost immediately. She really was tired, Itachi thought. He knew she would pull him into bed or on the couch to take a nap and he would have no way out of it. He often didn't.
Sasuke and Naruto pulled into the drive before him. He would have to leave with Sasuke eventually and therefore didn't want to be blocked in. He couldn't help the small smile of amusement when he looked over and saw Sakura completely knocked out again. He got out of the car and crossed to the other side, carefully pulling her out of her seat and into his arms, holding her tightly and carefully to his chest. Naruto held the door open for him and he brought her to the living room, laying her on the couch. He really had to go to the bathroom.
"Are your parents home?" Sasuke asked Naruto as they trailed after Itachi. They had decided to watch something on TV, though they were certain they would be treated to an Itachi-Sakura cuddle session. That fact didn't make them too happy, but they would rather have them around, cuddling or not. Sasuke was feeling particularly clingy of his brother today and wanted to be around him no matter what, something he had grudgingly told Naruto while they drove here.
"Nah, dad's watching the game at a bar and mom's doing paperwork at the gym," Naruto answered. "I think Sakura's pretty happy about it. She can't do anything too relationship-y with Itachi if they're around," he shrugged. He tried to find every moment he could to give the two some privacy because Sakura did the same when Hinata was over. It was a nice system they had going together.
They collapsed into a couple of armchairs and Naruto reached for the remote. He was always the one that picked what to watch. He was just really good at picking shows or movies that everyone enjoyed. Itachi joined them soon enough and climbed onto the couch next to Sakura, pulling her close to his chest and arranging a few pillows to rest his head on. Sakura woke slightly, only enough to press herself against him and find a comfortable place to put her head, and then she was asleep a few moments later.
"Does she usually do that?" Sasuke asked, watching with interest.
"Wake up to become comfortable and then go back to sleep not five seconds later?" Itachi asked, amusement clear in his eyes. Sasuke nodded. "Quite a lot. She will also wake if I get up. She begs me to stays and achieves her goal most of the time." Naruto couldn't help but laugh at Itachi's dry words.
"Yea, most of the time it's Sakura's way or nothing at all," he said through his laughter.
"I've noticed," Itachi deadpanned. Not that he could say no, anyways. It was hard for him to say no to her, her attitude or not. She was the most important person to him and he wasn't about to keep anything from her that she wanted. He would go further than anything else to make sure she was okay and happy, just like she helped him to be.
Itachi felt himself drifting off to sleep not long afterwards the warmth and closeness to Sakura lulling him into a drowsy state. Naruto and Sasuke had noticed that he was falling asleep and so kept quiet, not wanting to wake him again. Sasuke didn't think his brother got nearly enough sleep and it bothered him to no end.
It was a lazy afternoon and each of them enjoyed it. Sasuke was glad that he learned what he did today. A lot of the things he'd learned over the past few months had helped him understand his brother more and begin identifying him and learning to love him again. It was a good feeling and he liked that Sakura was there to help him along. Naruto even seemed more easy-going as of late, which had seemed impossible before. Naruto was all laid back and always cheery, Sasuke hadn't thought he could get more optimistic and chill, but here he was. He wasn't talking animatedly, just smiling and leaning back into his chair, turning every now to talk to Sasuke about something.
This afternoon didn't stop dread from pooling in the bottom of his stomach, though. This was a calm afternoon, but he knew there were going to be tumultuous afternoons and afternoons that were filled with upset friends and family. Something had to give and he didn't know what that was going to be. Something had to give and he wasn't sure if it would be Itachi's mental state or his father's rage. He wasn't looking forwards to finding out.
He sighed, though. It was time to just relax and watch TV with Naruto. Those things were better left to worry about for another day. There was no use worrying about it now when the situations had yet to come. Though he was scared and more than worried about the future, Sakura's words reverberated through his head.
"We have to push it forwards and make it happen sometimes instead of just weathering through the storm, but it always comes eventually."
Sasuke didn't know how much there was left to weather for either of them, but he was hoping he could be there to help them like he hadn't been before because he just hadn't understood. He understood and accepted it now, and so he would be with his brother when he took his next step forwards, no matter what that step was.
Kit kat you too fat to sit on my lap for 6 hours dude. Moooove.