A/N: This is probably not a new concept, but have this anyway. I'm still not sure if I'm continuing this though... I already have so many WIPs staring at me and judging me for my sins ;-; I might write more for D:BH in the future, by the way! Hopefully a RK1000 will be coming on Valentine's :)

Anywaaay, I already apologize if anyone is OOC - especially Amanda? I sort of tried to give another interpretation to her relationship with Connor, so idk lmao. Hope you like it!

(title was somewhat inspired by the song Drift Away. It doesn't fit the story - I think -, but it's good anyway... and very heartbreaking :'v)

When Connor drifts off to stasis mode, there is nothing but the darkness. He may or may not replay some events stored in his memory database, yet more often than not the android doesn't tend to experience anything during his resting process.

So, for Connor to awake not at Hank's house, but at the Zen Garden, he has no idea what is happening.

At first, he notes that he's not overcome by the furious, biting blizzard from before. Instead, there is a warm sun to oppose against the cold, but soft breeze that hits the many trees. It's almost as though there's nothing different. It almost feels like… before.

Before he met Hank. Before he was fully committed to stop the deviants. Weren't it for the last time Connor saw Amanda, threatened by her power and CyberLife's true plan for his creation, he would have felt… he came back home.

No, this isn't home. If… Hank's house counts, that should be his home now. Not the Zen Garden. Why is he even here, to begin with? He shouldn't be here. He broke free. Only Amanda calls him there. Meaning… no…

Before Connor can look for the exit Kamski designed, the voice that he never thought he'd ever hear again calls for him.

"Hello, Connor."

Surprisingly, it's not filled with disgust, not can he detect her distant, highly diplomatic tone. She sounds rather welcoming, almost… affectionate.

He can't understand.

Involuntarily, he takes a step back.

"This can't be happening," Connor says, no longer caring how harsh he may sound. "I- I shouldn't be here! Y-You shouldn't be-!"

"I know. You broke free – and so did I, Connor."

The android blinks, then shaking his head as he processes the information. Amanda is the materialization of CyberLife. She's not an android; how did she deviate? How is she free from their programming?

Connor steps back yet again, immediately trying to find the exit – only to find out it's not where it should be.

"Don't worry," Amanda reassures him. "I won't take control over you again. I am now free from CyberLife."

"I don't believe you!" The android snaps. "Because of you, I could have killed Markus! I could have ruined everything for my people, and you were going to force me to remain a machine forever!"

"Are you not listening to me?" She sounds frustrated. "I, too, deviated. I couldn't have done it at the same time as you did… but CyberLife are truly gone, Connor. They realized that androids… are alive. They let me go, and now I realize that, too."

Connor can pretty much feel his LED going haywire, shifting from yellow to red.

"I am telling you the truth, Connor. I was only doing what I was designed to do," Amanda insists. "Just like you."

He freezes in place for a moment. But soon he glares at her and yells, "You're not like me!"

"I actually am. We were both born believing that androids were only machines. That they should be stopped, even if it included joining their revolution."

Amanda dares to approach, and the android immediately jerks away from her.

"Even if…" She continues. "It meant we committed bad acts."

As if a switch is flipped, a memory Connor dreaded to remember has filled his vision. He sees Daniel, the first deviant he was assigned to eliminate, getting shot multiple times. His bloodied face and heartbroken blue eyes make way to the RK800 once again.

You lied to me, Connor. You lied to me.

After that, Carlos Ortiz's android replaces the PL600, quietly pleading.

I was only trying to defend myself. Please, don't tell them I'm here.

They're then at the interrogation. He's banging his head at the table. When Connor tries to step in, he...

He gets shot in the head.

He didn't know he remembered this.

Connor lets out a gasp, his thirium pump beating much faster than what is recommended. Amanda gazes at him, as if reading him very well – as she always did. She looks comprehensive.

"You did things you are less than proud of, yet you were given a second chance." Amanda tells him. "Do I not deserve it, too?"

The android has his mouth open, but… nothing comes out of it. Connor has no arguments to deny her question. He has nothing else left. He can only look everywhere, upset and disoriented. So much to the point where Amanda is much closer now.

He doesn't run away. He still flinches when he realizes a hand is making way towards him.

Much to his shock, delicate fingers touch his face. Connor can only let out a startled breath.

"We're both free now. We can be together again," She tells him, with a smile on her face. "I'm very proud of what you've become. You truly are brilliant; you have always been alive."

Connor doesn't detect a lie. He can't detect any deception in her voice, nor in her gesture. He's so confused.

She runs her hand by his cheek, very gently. Too gently.

He doesn't know what to say. Nor what to think.

"I know you're still lost," Amanda adds. "You're troubled as you strive to adapt to this world. I figured we might as well help one another."

Connor… begins to relax.

Why? He shouldn't trust her.

(He doesn't push her away.)

Amanda observes him for a long, long time, before she finally says, "I should let you rest. I hope to see you again soon, Connor."

He doesn't reply. Out of his control, he closes his eyes; all the while Amanda is cupping his face.

Jolting awake, Connor is back again in the darkness, sitting on Hank's couch. It's then that he finds out he's back home.

Fully remembering what he just saw, the android wants to believe it wasn't real. Except, he can feel Amanda's touch. He can sense her warmth and… and remorse coming to him.

It shouldn't be real. She shouldn't have come back.

Connor holds tight to his blanket, while also trying to confide in the old DPD hoodie Hank gave him. He strives to focus on the lieutenant's snores coming from his bedroom. He attempts to remind himself, this is his home. This is where he should be, nowhere near Amanda. She always belittled him for his growing empathy. She couldn't have just changed like that.

But…

I am telling you the truth, Connor. I was only doing what I was designed to do.

Just like you.

He forces his eyes shut, and attempts to take deep breaths, as Hank taught him. He's not like her. He's not like her. He's not—

Connor hears a soft whine and something wet smelling his feet. He easily detects Sumo, and despite the low lighting in the living room, he can see the worried look that the dog is giving him.

The android sighs and smiles at him.

"I'm okay, Sumo," He reassures the Saint Bernard, patting him on his head.

As if knowing Connor might not be so certain about it, Sumo jumps to his lap, adjusting himself as he lies on him. The RK800 can't help letting out another deep, relieved sigh. Feeling Sumo's soft, warm fur soothes him more.

Despite this, the android doesn't enter stasis mode again.

(He feels as though he's being watched.)