I was on the roof of the house that my mother bought, it was like 2 O'clock in the morning and I was admiring the stars in the night sky, and then my older sister Savannah found me.

"Lacey, what are you doing up here?"

"Looking at the stars since it's way too quiet for me to sleep"

"You could talk to mom"

"And be completely ignored?, fuck that Savy"

"She's trying Lou"

"That doesn't mean shit, you didn't hear the argument that night because you were fast asleep, but I did, you didn't hear what she said that night, because if you did then you wouldn't be so fucking forgiving"

Savannah looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"Is that why you'd never want to talk about her?"

"Do you really need to ask that?"

"I guess not, ok, I guess I'll leave you to look at the stars, just don't tell mom that I let you"

"(Laughs), course not Savy, goodnight"

"Goodnight Lou"

So Savannah went back to bed, and I just sat there, remembering the night mom left.

I woke up from a nightmare to yelling coming from the living room, at first I tried to wake Savannah up but she's impossible to wake at the best of times, so I lied on my bed and tried to get back to sleep, but it didn't work.

"You can't drink our problems away Brie"

"I'm not"

"Then what the hell happened at Cameron's funeral today?"

"I couldn't cope, so I had a couple of drinks"

"Do you think that I want to cope with burying our son Brie, because I don't, but our girls need us to be their parents!"

"I don't think that I can do this anymore"

"Do what Brie?"

"Be a mother Troy, we were so young when Savannah was born that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life-"

"Seven years down the line is a shitty time to figure that out, it's like Stanford all over again!"

"That's not fair-!"

"Do you know how it feels when you find that the one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with has been keeping things from you, and you feel like a complete fucking idiot that you didn't realise what was going (voice crack) on"

"I realise that I might not have chosen a good time-"

"No shit!"

"But I don't know who I am anymore with being a mother, and I don't know how to feel about that"

"Please leave"

And the next thing I heard was rings being chucked and the front door opening and closing, I went into the living room with my hippo Bertie in hand because my nightmare was bothering me still.

"Daddy"

Dad turned and saw me, his eyes were bloodshot from all the crying he had done that day, his face was all blotchy too.

"Lacey, darling it's 3 o'clock in the morning, you should be in bed asleep"

"I had a nightmare, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't"

"You heard me and mommy fighting didn't you?"

I nodded, so then dad wrapped his arms around me making me feel safe.

"Daddy, are we still a family?"

"Of course we are Lou, no matter what happens we will always be a family, ok?"

"Ok, can I sleep with you tonight Daddy?"

"Yeah sweetheart, you can sleep with me tonight"

The next thing I remember was waking up the next morning.