Fight or Flight

Astrid studied the cord that wrapped around the grappling hook. "I'll climb up first, and if you have any difficulties, I'll pull you the rest of the way up."

Hiccup unwound the cord, eyed the balcony, and tossed the grappling hook with practiced ease. It fastened around the metal balustrade with a soft clank.

"You first, Tridy." He swept his hand upwards.

"Tridy? You are not calling me that." Where was he getting all of the stupid nicknames? Astrid hoped he wasn't picking them out of books.

Pushing the thought out of her mind, she began to scale the improvised ladder. Being a fairly frequent visitor to the weight lifting sector of the gym when she wasn't busy with work, Astrid zipped right to the top and swung over the iron railing with ease.

"Come on!" she called down.

Hiccup moved back a couple of feet and tossed his crutches up to Astrid, who snagged them out of the air. He then hopped on one foot to the makeshift ladder, nearly losing his balance three times in the process. Astrid tried to stifle her giggle, but it slipped out anyway.

"It's not funny!" Hiccup snapped. "Try having one leg and see if you don't lack finesse! Have some etiquette, will you?"

"Sorry!"

Hiccup grabbed two rungs with his hands and managed to get his foot on the bottom rung. He slowly inched his way up in the same manner. When he was almost all the way to the top, his hand slipped and he nearly fell, but he managed to regain his grip.

Hiccup wasn't buff in the first place. He was straining hard and his muscles were about to give out. His right hand slipped again at his next attempt, leaving him hanging by his left hand.

"Help!"

Astrid reacted instantly, reaching through the bars of the balcony and encircling his hand in a firm grasp. She hauled him up and over the railing and they both lay there panting for a bit.

"Thanks," Hiccup said when he caught his breath.

"I'll send my bill in the mail. I accept cash only." Astrid handed him back his crutches. "We really need to have a talk with your prosthetic manufacturer. This is ridiculous."

"Don't I know it," Hiccup muttered. He pressed a button on the top of the grappling hook and the ladder snapped up from the ground like a tape measure does when the mechanism is released. "Wouldn't want anyone coming along and taking away our exit."

"Nifty." Astrid nodded at the now folded hook.

Hiccup grinned. "Thanks. Shall we?" The balcony door was unlocked, allowing for easy access into the unoccupied apartment. Not so smart on the owner's part, but exactly what they needed.

"It's so dark," Astrid whispered, peering around and trying to distinguish shapes.

"Really?" Hiccup whispered back. In the dark, his dragon eyes glowed green. They made him look like the Cheshire cat, since she couldn't really see the rest of him. "The carpet's very clean," he observed.

"Whoop de do. Fenrir's rope!" The last part was shouted, due to the fact that Astrid inadvertently rammed her shin into a coffee table by the couch. Astrid braced herself against the table and bit the inside of her cheek in pain.

"Shh!" Hiccup hissed. "Do you want to alert the whole neighborhood that we're technically breaking and entering?"

"Blame the coffee table, not me! Hey, what's this?" When Astrid had grabbed the table, her fingers collided with a thin piece of paper. Carrying it back to the glass balcony door to read by the scarce light of the moon, Astrid discovered it was a piece of newspaper.

"Don't see anything else," Hiccup said, coming up behind her and peeking over her shoulder.

"This is a newspaper from six years ago..." Astrid squinted at the letters. The piece was a mere

tear from a larger page. The only information it contained was a date, the reporter's name, and a scrap of a title that ended in "-lka".

"Whoever the ghost is, they sure have buttery fingers to keep dropping things," Astrid commented dryly.

"Yeah," Hiccup agreed, but he looked uncomfortable with the whole thing. In fact, he was as pale as if he had seen the ghost.

"You all right?" Astrid asked, concerned.

"I'm fine. I don't think there's anything else here. We'd better get out of here."

Before they could head back to the balcony to get down, an engine's rumble filled the night air, and a car drove into the alley. Two persons exited the vehicle and started up a heated discussion. Hiccup and Astrid realized they wouldn't be exiting that way.

"Rats!" Astrid exclaimed. "We'll just have to go out the front door."

Just then, aggravated talking came from the hallway outside the apartment room and heavy footsteps came closer to the door. Oh, why did everything always have to go wrong? Astrid bemoaned to herself.

Hiccup jerked his head in the direction of the balcony. "There's a fire escape on the third floor," he hissed. They both went back outside, hugging the building's wall in the shadows. Hiccup leaned over the handrail and swung the grappling hook up to the third balcony. It attached onto its target with a small thud that made Astrid wince. Thankfully, the bickering bellow them drowned out the clank.

Since the height they were climbing at was greater than the first try, Hiccup clambered up first so Astrid could catch him should he fall. She didn't have to and ascended next.

"Whoever designed this building was an idiot!" Hiccup hissed. "They put a fire escape on all the third floor balconies, but not the second floor's? This has to be a violation of fire standards."

They carefully picked their way across the scaffolding of the fire escape, which creaked and groaned at different intervals without attracting any unwanted attention. She only allowed herself to breathe when they were safely on the ground.

"That was quite the adventure," Hiccup remarked as they quickly evacuated from the neighborhood. He checked his watch. "Wow, it's late."

Astrid grabbed his wrist. "Two in the morning? Oh, brilliant." She envisioned spending the next day asleep, underneath her cozy, warm comforter. Too bad that wouldn't be happening.

"Don't forget to turn your heat on," she warned Hiccup as they neared the junction to his street. She had caught him last week, whiling away the time in his workshop, oblivious to the fact that the windows were icing up. "And go straight to sleep. You don't want to miss your alarm clock and fail to catch your cases."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Worrywart."

"Slacker." With that last remark, they parted ways.

…

Astrid should have warned herself to get more sleep, because the next morning she might as well have put an over-stuffed dummy in her office chair for all of the work she was getting done.

"Here." Something slammed down on her desk, jolting her out of nodding off. Camicazi stood in front of her, arms crossed.

"Coffee!" Astrid cried, jubilant. "Thank you!" She tried to think of a reason for Camicazi's generosity, but she couldn't come up with one. Maybe the thief wasn't so bad.

"I swiped it from the lounge. Having a zombie stare at you is unproductive. Hiccup asked me to tell you that Ruffnut set fire to her bathroom, and that you might want to give her a talk about not keeping flammable material next to gas containers and matches. Even I know not to do that."

Astrid scowled. So there was a reason. "When did you talk to Hiccup?" It was barely nine in the morning. Astrid dumped an emergency packet of sugar she always kept in her desk into the coffee cup and took a swig of the hot, sweet liquid.

"Around eight. We had coffee in the break room. Did you know that he's left handed? A good lefty always has an advantage over a good righty."

The coffee turned sour. "Of course I know he's left handed. What do dominant hands have to do with anything?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Camicazi said nonchalantly. "The coffee is really horrible here. It's a mix between grog and sludge, but I haven't had grog so I wouldn't be able to tell you. Have you had grog? You look like you have with that scowl on your face all the time." Camicazi checked her watch without waiting for an answer. "Is that the time? Gotta run. See you later."

Astrid sat fuming at her desk for a few minutes before getting back to work. Camicazi had a way of getting under her nerves. Astrid periodically glanced over at Hiccup's desk, which remained empty for most of the day. He finally came in right before lunch hour.

Deciding that she wasn't going to let Camicazi get the upper left or right hand, Astrid dragged Hiccup to the cafeteria for lunch. She plopped him down at a table and went to choose two lunches from the limited menu. When she came back, Hiccup was drumming his fingers and looking around anxiously. Astrid loudly dropped the food trays on the table and Hiccup jumped.

"All right. Spill the beans," Astrid ordered. "What's going on?"

Hiccup dumped some of the beans that were on his tray onto the table.

"I'm serious, Hiccup!"

"How come you always know when something's going on?" he complained.

"Don't you dare try to change the subject." Astrid grimaced at the taste of the tuna she'd picked out. The cafeteria really needed to add soufflé to their cooking resumé. One could only eat so many sautéd endives and survive.

Hiccup sighed. "I found a note in my mailbox this morning. It's probably nothing, but it's still creepy."

Astrid quickly swallowed a mouthful of tuna followed by endives. "What did it say?"

"It said, 'I'll get you for it.' Astrid, I've been thinking-"

"-A dangerous past time-" she broke in.

"I know," Hiccup finished. "But what if we've been going about the problem all wrong?"

"Oh?" He had her curiosity spiked. "How?"

"All those case files. I don't think it's any of them."

Their conversation was interrupted. "Aw, man!" Ruffnut dropped a food tray onto the table, stacked high with disgusting scallop meatballs. Tuffnut, Fishlegs, Snotlout, and Camicazi had all snuck up on them and were standing there. The table ended up quite crowded by the time everyone sat down.

"So all that work was for nothing?" Snotlout whined.

Ruffnut frowned at him. "What work? You went out and bought pizza!"

"I'll have you know that lifting pizza boxes requires muscles!" Snotlout flexed a poor example.

Ruffnut snickered. "Yeah, the muscles of a toddler."

"Ladies, ladies," Camicazi soothed. "There's no need to argue. You both have beautiful corsages."

"That's visages," Astrid corrected poisonously.

"As I was saying," Hiccup interrupted, "I think Alvin is a part of it."

"I thought he was dead," Fishlegs spoke up. "Remember? They burned his dragon corpse."

"Yes," Hiccup said slowly, "but what if it's someone connected to Alvin?"

Astrid caught on first. "Like a gang member that escaped the big round up. Or better yet, a family member who wants revenge on Hiccup for killing Alvin."

"Exactly." Hiccup snapped his fingers. "Gang members wouldn't have the incentive to come after me if they were only in the job for the money."

Ruffnut pouted. "Now we have to start a search all over again!" She began to use her spoon to catapult meatballs in Tuffnut's direction. A glob hit him square on the nose.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Tuffnut picked up a tomato slice from his tray and threw it at Fishlegs. It hit the giant square in the chest.

Fishlegs looked down at his ruined shirt in disbelief. "He threw a tomato at me. Why did he throw a tomato at me? Hiccup, ask him why he threw a tomato at me."

Camicazi took the moment to cackle and dump milk in Ruffnut's lap.

"That's it," Hiccup muttered. "I'm getting out of here."

Things quickly dissolved into utter confusion. Astrid was about to join Hiccup's hasty retreat, but Snotlout reared back an arm to throw applesauce at her.

"Oh, no you don't!" She lunged for him, but it was too late. Applesauce splattered all over her hair. "You little troll!" She shoved him. He fell to the ground, the backside of his pants landing right in the middle of someone's to-go cup of coffee.

Astrid worked to break up the food fight, which escalated to the whole of the cafeteria, only taking the time to secretly dump someone's soggy leftover beets down the back of Camicazi's white shirt. The produced stain would take months to get out and hopefully keep the thief's fingers away from Astrid's watch.

Astrid had Snotlout and Tuffnut by the ears and was about to bonk their heads together like a croquet mallet to knock some sense into their thick skulls when a loud voice broke through the chaos.

"WHAT IN FREYA'S YELLOW BRAIDS IS GOIN' ON?!"

Silence fell over the cafeteria. Chief of Police Stoick "the Vast" stood before their gooey mess, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he surveyed the area. "Would someone like to tell me the meaning of this?"

Ruffnut and Tuffnut looked at each other meaningfully. "GET HIM!" they screamed in unison before charging at him.

a/n: Grizzly98 was the first to get the last quote! Yes, it was from Narnia. Who can guess where the "dangerous pastime" quote came from?

Concerning pairings: I am like the Wizard Howl: I do not like to be backed into corners. You will have to wait and read to find out.

~Rider