May the Halls of Valhalla Welcome Her

The rain pounded into the ground, turning dry dirt into mud. Grass bent under the water's onslaught. They were poor conditions to dig a grave in, yet Camicazi's coffin was being lowered into a soupy mess six feet under. She would have liked it that way, Astrid thought, staring at her toes.

Camicazi would have liked the fact that it was storming. If she was there, she probably would have looked up at the sky and casually dared it to do its worst, or perhaps steal the very grey off of it like the thief she was.

But Camicazi couldn't do either of those things, because dirt was being shoveled on top of her, and a grave stone was chiseled out of granite, waiting to mark the final resting place of Camicazi Burglar.

It should have been me, Astrid thought, watching Bertha Burglar, Camicazi's mother, blow her nose loudly into an already soaking wet handkerchief. She instantly felt guilty when she caught Hiccup's gaze across the ceremony. He would have felt horrible if either one of them had died. Hiccup quickly looked away, his face unreadable. Did he blame her?

Astrid's guilt increased when she thought about Camicazi. How had she repaid her for saving her life? She had hated Camicazi's guts with a passion that would have melted metal. There was no way she could change that. She couldn't go back and make amends.

The last of the dirt was packed down.

The person in charge of the ceremony concluded it saying, "May the halls of Valhalla welcome her." The old Viking tradition was comforting even though Valhalla didn't really exist.

Like a robot, Astrid moved to get into a line of people who were offering condolences. When it was her turn, she hesitated. How could she apologize without coming across as crass?

Hello, I'm the jerk your daughter died for.

Nice daughter you had. I used to hate her, but I guess bygones be bygones, right?

Your daughter was a pain in the neck to me until the moment she saved my life.

Those would go over really well. She opened her mouth to say something – anything, really – when Bertha grabbed her hands with her two big ones.

"You must be Astrid! I've heard so much about you!" she said, half-smiling through tears.

"Really?" Astrid wanted to melt right then and there. She could only dream of what Camicazi had told her mother.

"Oh, yes. She talked about you all the time. You two must have been very close," Bertha blubbered, dropping Astrid's hands to grab another handkerchief.

"I'm sorry that she died. I wish I was able to change it."

Bertha swatted at her shoulder with one hand while blowing her nose with the other. "As depressing as it is, Camicazi would have loved to know she died a hero. Thank you for coming." Bertha sounded like she really meant it.

Astrid moved on in bewilderment. She didn't really have a reason to stick around afterwards, so she slipped off to her car and drove home alone.

She spent much of the next couple of days alone, too, moping around the house in pajamas and slippers. She was going to watch a movie one night, but when she pulled out her copy of The Happiest Millionaire, an envelope with her name on it fell out. Curious, she slit it open with her fingernail.

Dollar bills and a note fell out. Confused, Astrid scooped them out, and shoving the bills under her arm, read the letter.

Astrid,

(I would have put dear, but I don't think you would appreciate the sentiment.) This is the money I owe you for the rent. I bet it took you ages to find it! And don't you watch anything besides old-fashioned stuff?

Sincerely not yours,

Camicazi Burglar

Astrid didn't mean to crumple the paper; it just happened, and she was on the couch, fighting to hold off angry tears she hadn't even known were in her.

Camicazi had been a better person than Astrid had thought. Oh why, why, why hadn't Astrid given her a chance?

Because of Hiccup, a little voice nagged in the back of her head. You let jealousy get the better of you.

Be quiet! Astrid snapped back, shoving the movie back where it belonged and stomping to her room. She was in no mood for it now.

…

Astrid pretty much avoided the office, staying at home to fill out paperwork. She had to write an official report on Camicazi's death at one point. Nothing exciting about that, except for the fact that both Excellinor and the murder weapon had disappeared. Astrid didn't like the idea of Excellinor running around with a weapon, especially with Hiccup not in top condition. Guilt drove her away from Hiccup.

Her guilt might have been keeping her away from her friends, but it certainly did not keep her friends away from her. One night, Astrid was popping a bowl of popcorn when the doorbell rang. With a weary sigh, she padded to the door and opened it.

"You, Hofferson, ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Ruffnut pushed her way in without waiting for permission.

"Excuse...me?" Astrid blinked in surprise.

"You haven't shown up to work in fifteen hundred days! And you get onto me!" Ruffnut made herself comfortable on Astrid's couch and kicked her heels up on the coffee table, leaving Astrid still standing by the open door.

"I've been busy!" Astrid defended herself.

Ruffnut snorted. "Watching the Brady Bunch and eating tubs of ice cream in pajamas? Since when did Astrid Hofferson wear bunny slippers?"

"Uh..." Since when had Ruffnut become her boss?

"Quit!"

"I'd say the same thing to you!" Astrid snapped. "You're getting scuff marks all over my coffee table. And you're one to talk! Since when did Ruffnut Thorsen wear 'Kindergarten Rocks!' t-shirts?"

Ruffnut glanced down at her snarky apparel (which included jeans with paintball marks all over them) and quipped, "Since kindergarten."

Astrid huffed and went to get her popcorn out the microwave.

"You're not off the hook!" Ruffnut called after her.

"Off the hook for what, exactly?" Astrid ripped the hot bag open and dumped its fluffy white contents into a bowl.

"You're feeling guilty," Ruffnut said.

"Who wouldn't?" Astrid countered.

"Hiccup's feeling guilty."

"What's your point?" Astrid sat down on the other end of the couch with her bowl and curled up.

"This may sound harsh, but Camicazi made her choice. Are you going to just sit there like a mopey teenager, or are you going to get up and do something to make her sacrifice worth it? Are you a Viking, or are you a wimp?"

Astrid scowled at the jab at her pride. "Since when did you become so mature?"

"Since two minutes ago. Hey! You should really try dipping the popcorn into tomato juice. It improves the taste."

"Hands off!" Astrid moved her bowl away from Ruffnut.

"So are you coming to work or not? We need someone to bail us out of trouble. Stoick's already called us to his office three times!" Ruffnut sounded rather proud of this.

"Fine," Astrid muttered.

"And while you're at it, could you talk to Hiccup?"

"I don't think he wants to talk to me." And why would he? She had practically killed his best friend because she had froze in a tough situation!

"Oh, I definitely thinks he wants to talk to you!" Ruffnut began scraping dried mud off her boots and onto Astrid's floor. "He's been moping around his house for the past couple of days in his pajamas, and Snotlout isn't having my luck."

"Quit doing that!" Astrid snatched away the letter opener Ruffnut was using on her boots.

Ruffnut pouted and crossed her arms. "Are you going to talk to Hiccup or not? And if you are, can I have your popcorn?"

"NO!"

Astrid ended up kicking Ruffnut out of the house, threatening to box her ears into the next year. She dawdled around for a couple of minutes, straightening up the house, vacuuming, and brushing her teeth. Then, steeling her nerves, she faced the music and drove to Hiccup's house.

The lights were off when she expertly cruised into the driveway, and she almost thought about turning around and heading home. She finally made it the front door, and before she could change her mind, she rang the doorbell.

Silence reigned the night. Getting cold, Astrid on the door with her knuckles. There was still not answer. Finally, getting over her reluctance, she slammed on the door with the flat of her palm.

"I know you're in there, Hiccup Haddock, so don't you dare try to pretend you're not!" If he didn't answer, she was seriously considering breaking open the door, just to make sure that he was okay.

An eternity later, Astrid heard things crashing around inside, and the door opened a crack. Hiccup peered out, his hair messy and clothes askew. His leg was missing, and a trail of items on the floor indicated he'd tripped over half the place trying to get to the door.

"Hi," he said, his voice scratchy. He didn't meet her eyes.

"Hi. Could I talk to you for a moment?" Astrid asked.

"That's what we're doing, aren't we?" Hiccup leaned up heavily against the door frame, almost losing his balance. Astrid moved to help him, but he brushed her away.

"Quit-" Astrid took a deep breath. She wasn't there to get onto Hiccup. "I came here to apologize."

Hiccup didn't do anything, and Astrid took that as a sign to continue. "My stupidity killed Camicazi. I should have been more alert and paid more attention and moved. I'm sorry, Hiccup. I know she was your best friend. Will you please forgive me?" She sucked in a big breath.

"You...think I'm mad at you?" Hiccup sounded surprised.

"Aren't you?"

"No." Hiccup sighed. "I'm not mad at you. Why would you think that?"

"I killed Camicazi!" How could he not see it?

"If anybody killed her, it was me," Hiccup said miserably. "I didn't do anything!"

"But-"

"I stood there like an idiot, just like six years ago, and another person died because of it."

"You didn't have much of a choice!" Astrid retorted, crossing her arms. "You couldn't have very well given the formula to Excellinor!"

"That guy had you held by the neck! Remember the night my house got ransacked? I thought there was a second person involved, and that must have been him. So it's my fault for forgetting about him! I didn't even prepare that well!" Hiccup's voice rose as he went on.

"It's my fault for not being able to get rid of him!" Astrid yelled right on back. "And are you even thinking about Camicazi?"

"Huh? Of course I'm thinking about her!"

"No, you're not, because Camicazi wouldn't have wanted you to mope around your house for days in your pajamas," Astrid pointed out. "She would have wanted you to go on with life and live!"

"She would have wanted to live!" Hiccup grumbled.

"But she isn't, and there isn't much we can do about it." Astrid wasn't trying to be harsh; she bit her tongue at her own words until she could taste blood. It was just the truth. "So are you going to stay in your house for the rest of your life or sit around and mope?"

"Sit around and mope," Hiccup mumbled, seeming to melt back into the shadows.

Well, Astrid wasn't going to let him. "You can do that, or you can make Camicazi proud."

Hiccup stiffened at the words. Astrid could see that she had struck a raw nerve.

"She'd call you a jellyfish in a skirt if she saw you right now," Astrid continued. "Right after stealing your wallet."

Hiccup gave her a weak grin, the mental cogs of his mind almost visibly turning.

"So are you coming with me to the office or not?" Astrid asked. "We have work to get done."

Hiccup coughed into his fist. "Fine. Give me a second to get my crutch and leg. By the way, you might want to change out of your pajamas first, Astrid. Nice bunny slippers."