Chapter 9

'Shut the fuck up!'

I cry harder, tears streaming down my face. I am scared. I am heading back to the city, against my will by a guy who terrifies me, to find a guy who tried to rape me.

Trying to not anger him any further, I gulp the tears down, but I end up sobbing more. The car swerves to the side of the road, the brakes are slammed on with force and I am rocked forward, my head connecting with the dashboard. Pain engulfs my head instantly; I think I have cut it open. Rough hands push me up against the door, pinning me in place. His face is angry, and I fear that he is about to hit me. I grimace against him and he yanks me back towards him, his face inches away from mine. I feel his breathe on my skin, and I dare myself to look into his icy, cool, blue eyes. They penetrate my skin and I see how much I repulse him. I want to beg him to not hurt me, but I feel the act would be futile… I feel like this guy wants to do nothing more than hurt me. To him, I am nothing. I am more than nothing. I feel how much he hates me, and I want to crawl away from him, but he is strong, and he holds me in place. How did I ever think that I would be safe within that group?

'If you don't shut the fuck up, I will hurt you. You are a fucking whore who led my brother on and got him chained up on a roof, like walker fodder... You are going to take me to where you left him, and then I will decide whether I let you live or not.'

I force my breathing to calm down, I don't want to piss him off even more than I am doing. He slams me back against the seat, my elbow connecting with the arm rest, causing me to cry out. I choke my tears down and force myself to straighten up, placing my back against the seat and looking out of the window in front of me. I feel his eyes on me, and he is obviously satisfied that I have heard him because he restarts the car, driving us onwards.

Sitting still, with my eyes closed, hoping that sleep will take me away from this horrible situation for a while, my mind plays over the events that led to here.

Our welcome into the group had been quite uneventful. Families were reformed, friends were telling their own 'Walker' stories and before long we all settled in. The group had several people and in the few days that I was there I got to know a few of them. Dale, although suspicious of us at first, was a good guy. Someone who could be relied upon to offer rational thought and advice. Glenn and I set up camp, and although we knew not to cross THAT line again, we knew it was safer for us to bunk up together, so we hitched a makeshift tent for two.

Andrea surprisingly was a little more hospitable after being reunited with her sister, Amy. She had even been friendly towards me, even getting my name correct when she addressed me. Her sister was friendly and approachable from the start, if not a little nervous at times, but I liked her.

Rick appeared to be happy that he had found his family, but there was hidden tension still behind his eyes. There was a rumour that his wife, Lori, had moved on when she thought Rick had died. According to Glenn, she had a very close relationship with Shane, who was Rick's close friend from the force. Nobody knows for sure how close these two got, but tensions are high between the two friends, with Shane stomping around a lot and causing arguments when decisions are being made. It appears that he was a leader type within this group, before Rick came. The pair buttheads a lot, but now things seem amicable, at best, between them. I can sense that it is only a matter of time before things come out in the open.

Amongst the group are other survivors, people who are living each day, trying to survive the best way they know how. I was one of them, I was living each day as best as I could. Fetching wood for a fire, hunting birds or helping to prepare food. Every task made the day go faster, otherwise it was an empty day, where I was forced to sit waiting for life to begin properly again. I have hope that my life will return to normal one day, but I know that life can never… will never be the same for any of us. I watch as families huddle together of an evening, or as Andrea jokes with Amy…even when Lori kisses Rick, and I see everything that I am missing. My Dad used to give me the best hugs, they made me feel safe and protected. My Mom was always my champion, she helped to style my hair for school, but never agreed with the make-up. My siblings; we laughed and joked and argued. We hated each other sometimes, but we always looked out for one another.

It was during a moment of contemplation, when tears were streaking down my face as I sat thinking about my family that I felt a rough hand grab my arm. I was brought back to reality by a guy pulling me up to standing position. I was shocked by this sudden assault and I failed to hear what he was initially saying, but I could tell that he was pissed.

'Fucking bitch…'

Other words came but I just stared at him; I wasn't sure what was happening, but I was suddenly very scared. I wished my sister was there, she always looked after me. She would have known what to do. I snap out of my shock and snatch my arm away from this intruder.

'You want to tell me why you left my brother on a fucking roof?'

I blinked at him slowly, my mind racing. Pictures of a roof flashed in my mind. A roof where I have been. And then I saw him. Merle. The man who had tried to rape me. The one who had almost thrown Glenn off the roof. This aggressive person in front of me was his brother. I looked around and saw with relief that Glenn and Rick were rushing to my aid. Within moments, they were in between me and my attacker. Rick held onto both of his arms, pushing him backwards.

'Daryl… Daryl… Calm Down.'

This came from Dale; he had appeared from nowhere and I felt my colour rising. Glenn had come close to me; his face close to mine.

'Jen, are you okay? Did he hurt you?'

There was shouting behind us and I could see that this guy, Daryl, was taking swings at Rick. The sheriff held his own and ducked away from each punch. The greasy, filthy looking guy with blue eyes looked back into my direction and sneered, pouncing towards me.

'Get him away from me,' I scream, fear etched into my skin.

Daryl was held back, not just by Rick, but by Dale too. And shortly afterwards, Shane appearred and joined in with calming him down.

'If you calm down, we will explain why we did what we did.'

Rick tried to control the situation, but I feared that there was no way he could calm down this man. Daryl looked ready to kill, and his eyes were on me. I beat myself up inside for not being a stronger character.

'You left my brother on a roof… chained up like a piece of fucking meat, and you want me to calm down?'

Rick sighed heavily, knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have.

'We had to make a decision that was best for the group. Your brother was a law unto himself and he put others in danger. He tried to force himself on Jenni, and then he almost killed Glenn by throwing him off the same roof he is chained to.'

Daryl shrugged off the people who held him, his strength knowing no limits, and he aimed and connected a punch with Ricks face. All at once, blood spurted from him, obvious that damage had been caused to his nose. Stepping back, holding up his hands, Rick chose not to retaliate. Daryl was wrestled to the ground by Shane, who sat on his back, arms pinned behind him.

Looking straight at me, anger deep in his features, Daryl grinded his teeth.

'That bitch led my brother on, and that Chinese guy probably had it coming to him.'

'Korean,' Glenn responds, looking determinedly back at Daryl.

'Whatever fuckface!'

Glenn laughs, 'Yeah… you're Merles brother alright.'

'What did you say?'

Daryl squirmed again underneath Shane, his chin grazing off the floor. Determination was etched into his face. This guy was angry, and to be honest, I think I can understand it. Members of this group have been reunited with their family and friends… and now he's found out that his brother is alive; or at least he was when we chained him to that roof.

'I'm sorry,' the words became trapped in my throat, but I regret what has happened. I don't feel any remorse for Merle, but I can see that this guy is hurt by not having his brother here with him. I empathise with him and I want him to know that I am sorry for that.

Glenn looked at me, both shocked and impressed.

'You're sorry! Really? Is that all you have bitch? Fancied a bit of rough, did you? Wanted to take my brother on, but changed your mind at the last minute and called rape?'

His words came out, sneered at me. The look on his face was one of complete hatred. I feared what this man could do to me, he doesn't care who he lashes out at. He just wants to make sure those who wronged his brother, pay.

Glenn stepped in front of me and quietly suggested us moving away from the scene. I allowed myself to be led away, but I didn't feel a sense of relief like I should. At some point, they will release Daryl and I will always feel like I am on guard, just as I did with Merle. Can I never just feel safe?

After some discussion between Rick, Dale, Shane and Daryl, it was agreed that he must stay away from me, unless he wants to be thrown out of the camp or worse. No actual threat of harm was made, but the insinuation was there. As they walk on past, I caught Shanes eye and he looked at me in a way that made me shudder. I couldn't place what he was thinking, but I know he doesn't like me. He is added to the list of people I need to keep an eye on. Only a few days have passed since we got to this camp, but it is starting to feel less safe as time goes on.

Glenn remained with me the rest of the day, always mindful of where Daryl may be. He kept to his word, he stayed away from me, although his angry stare made me feel sick to the stomach. Night-time came and we all settled down. Glenn got up in the night to pee and I was left alone in our tent. I stared up and tried to bring on sleep, but I was too wound up. I sat up as I heard movement coming into the tent, hoping that Glenn was awake enough to talk, but I froze in horror as I saw Daryl kneeling in front of me, a hunting knife pointed at me. I wanted to scream and shout, but I knew that he wouldn't hesitate to use the blade on me.

'Get on your fucking feet, and move!'

'What? Why? Look, Daryl..'

I didn't get any more words out, as he cut them off by hitting me hard around the face. I thought my nose was about to explode from the force of the hit. My head spun, and stars appeared in my vision.

'Up! Now!'

The voice was deep and assertive…but he remained quiet, not wanting to bring attention to us. I realised that I was never going to get out of this, I needed to do as he said. So, I got to my feet, shakily, as I felt a bit dizzy after he struck me, and he led me forcibly out and past the camp. My feet tripped over one another, my head still spinning. I thought I was going to throw up, but Daryl kept me upright, a hand clenched tightly around my arm pulling me with him.

'Please…'

Tears formed in my eyes, and I want to shout for help, but I couldn't. I knew I would anger him more if I did.

'Shut up.'

'Please, don't hurt me.'

Daryl abruptly stopped, turning me towards him. He grabbed my face with his other hand, the one which wasn't gripped like a vice around my arm, causing bruising that I know will be there for weeks. I fought to break away from him, but he held me tight, his icy eyes showing no remorse at all.

'Now, you listen to me, whore! You are coming with me to find my brother. When we find him, I will let him decide what we do with you. You think you can go around dick-teasing guys and getting away with it? Play nice, and maybe you will walk away from this.'

He shoved me roughly away from him before dragging me towards the vehicle in front of us.

And here we sit, in a car heading back towards the city. A place I fought to escape from. I really don't know what awaits me there, but strangely enough the dozens of walkers don't bother me. It's a couple of guys who have my fate in their hands and I have no control over it whatsoever.