Chapter 23
…
"Commander Cody." The voice broke from his comm into the rushing wind of his speeder. He wasn't going anywhere particular. Just anywhere but the GAR compound. "There's a message for you from General Kenobi at headquarters."
Finally, some word from the General. It had been over a week.
"Copy that. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"No rush, sir. It's recorded."
Cody didn't respond. There was no sense entertaining the drastic conclusions those few words produced in his mind. A recorded message didn't necessarily mean bad news, or good news, or that his general preferred not to speak directly to him. It could simply mean Kenobi was too busy to wait.
With a deep breath, he looked up for an opening and swung the speeder around. It was about 5:30, and the traffic wasn't bad this early in the morning. The sky was a steely blue-grey, pinpricks of colored light still scattered below it. The cool wind on his face barely succeeded in clearing his head, but his body still sparked with jitters.
When he landed ten minutes later, the sky had already changed, bleeding faint violet in the corrugated clouds. He kept his eyes straight ahead as he passed a group of city guards turning in from the night patrol, blood churning hotly through his veins. They didn't speak to him. The hallways were quiet, scattered with faint reverberations of footsteps. In the empty lift he took a deep breath to fill the hollow that appeared when his stomach was left behind on the first floor.
As he entered the communications tower, he didn't even have to approach the clone on duty at the control station. Leth recognized him and jumped to his feet.
"Station Six-A is open." Leth gestured down the hall of small, secure rooms equipped with holoprojectors. "The message was encrypted and he didn't leave us a go-ahead to reroute it to your personal receiver."
"Thanks." Cody thought about making some kind of conversation—Leth was the friendly type who no doubt languished during long shifts with no one around. But Cody was too impatient to hear what Kenobi had to say. He lifted a hand in a quick wave and hurried to the dimly lit station.
The moment the door closed, the hologram of General Kenobi appeared in his usual arms-half-folded, beard-stroking posture. He looked worried.
"Greetings, Cody. I'm sorry I had to record this, but I'm a little short on time. I do hope you and the rest of the troops on Coruscant are doing well, because I'm ordering you back to the front as soon as possible. We're scheduled to rendezvous with the fleet in the Saleucami system within the next week. The siege there has been going for months now and the other battalions may need our help. I've been considering how to split our forces, since the Jedi Council also wants to send me and Anakin to Cato Neimoidia, but I think I'll hold off on that decision until you arrive and I can get a second opinion."
Cody felt some of the constant tension in his shoulders relaxing already, even as his mind raced ahead. General Skywalker would be at the rendezvous.
"I really meant to check in with you sooner. But I'm afraid that even with Captain Ricky's help, leading the Third Systems Army without you…." Kenobi grimaced sheepishly, and his voice took on a warm tone. "Well, let's put it this way… I'm never bored." The hologram smiled. Cody stared at it, full of relief. "I'll do my best to organize a helpful report before you arrive, but there may be quite a few loose ends left. I apologize in advance."
There was a brief pause while Kenobi picked up a datapad and set it down again, trading it for another one.
"I'm sure I'm forgetting something…hmm. There was something else I meant to tell you, or…ask you, but you know, I've completely forgotten what it was." Kenobi looked perplexed and laughed at himself, shaking his head and letting the pad fall back out of sight. "Well, I hope that new antenna I ordered for you meets your approval. Oh, and if any of the men need to stay behind, let me know before you leave. Otherwise, I'll see you aboard the Tenacity. If you can't make it to the rendezvous, I'll just have to make do somehow." He shrugged heavily, one eyebrow quirked. "But I think the battalion would prefer it if you were here. And so would I.
"Blast, why can't I remember what I was going to say…? Well, I'm sure it will come to me by the time we see each other." Kenobi sighed. "May the Force be with you, Cody. I hope to see you soon."
The hologram flickered out and Cody felt himself warming and loosening with new purpose. They were going to get out of here. He would finally have a chance to approach Skywalker and put the questions that were haunting him behind him.
He walked out and back the way he came, letting Kenobi's words crowd out the doubts that had been gnawing at him for days now, keeping him awake at night. Kenobi wanted him back.
"Good news?" Leth perked up from behind the desk.
"Yeah," Cody half-laughed, waving a hand. "I'm finally getting out of here! Going to see some action."
Leth grinned. "Can't keep a good commander down for long! Good luck out there."
"Thanks."
He kept a brisk pace once he reached the ground floor, hoping to avoid as much contact with the city guard as possible. Fox had been keeping his distance ever since their confrontation, and the rumors had tapered off, but it wasn't fear that kept Cody's eyes fixed forward so much as annoyance. He just didn't need a reason to get angry like that again, and the mere sight of red armor only made the sick feeling worse.
He held off from immediately calling Stern; it was still not quite six hundred hours, and his inability to get a good night's rest didn't preclude the rest of the men from getting one. They could catch a few more minutes while he walked to deliver the news in person.
He wondered how General Skywalker would take to a direct request for a private audience. From all Cody had observed, Skywalker appreciated boldness, but not always when it was aimed at him. Besides, the subject of Rex's… death… might not be one he was willing to discuss. Cody wasn't sure how much he even wanted to discuss it. Just the thought of approaching Skywalker with such a request made his throat close up. But the thought of going to battle with these questions gnawing at his mind was even worse.
Inside the 212th battalion's barracks, the troopers were only just getting out of bed. Ran was among the first to notice and shout "Commander!" loud enough to startle some of the other men awake. "You're here early, sir!"
"I've got news from General Kenobi." Cody raised his voice to the tone he used for announcements. "We're moving out as soon as possible to rendezvous with the fleet. Group leaders should report to me for assignments after breakfast. I aim to depart no later than sixteen hundred hours today."
"Yes sir!" came the scattered response. Despite the bleary eyes that stared across the room at him, the call was strong.
West broke from the crowd as soon as Cody motioned for everyone to carry on, and the impromptu bunk-side ranks dissolved into activity.
"Can I have a word with you?" he grunted, his eyes on someone behind Cody.
Cody nodded and followed West out into the hall. Instead of heading outside, West turned left and tailed a group of troopers into the refreshers. He left Cody standing in the doorway to pace leisurely along the lines of stalls, checked his face in the mirror, and walked back out, giving Cody a knowing frown as he passed.
"What was the point of that?" Cody asked when they stepped out into the cold dawn.
"Just checking," West said, very quietly. "Some of them are having trouble, too. Not taking too well to down time, I guess."
"Well… down time is almost over," Cody said with relief. "I think we'll all be glad to get back to work."
"Maybe." West sighed. "Oliver told you about Cratt and Puzzler?"
"He mentioned they're not doing well."
"Puzzler's trying. I'm trying to help him, but his focus and response time is down. By a lot. Blood pressure too. Cratt… well, he's had trouble keeping food down, and I had to check him for concussion because he blacked out yesterday. Poor kid was pretty confused. I think it's because he's not eating enough. I can't recommend them for active duty in this condition, and there are at least a dozen of the men I would like to put on backup for another week. Do you know if we'll be landing soon after the rendezvous?"
"Sounds like it. Saleucami or Cato Neimoidia. Or both." Cody sighed. "I'll talk to the General when we arrive. Do you have a guess what's wrong with Cratt and Puzzler?"
"Well…." West shook his head. "Cratt won't talk about it. Puzzler's morale is the worst I've seen in any trooper in a long time. He just keeps saying it's pointless."
"Hmm." Cody stared at the ground.
"I hope your appetite comes back now that we're leaving." West gave him a keen sidelong glance.
"Oh… I think it will." Cody folded his arms and exaggerated the disgust that he couldn't keep off his face. "Once Fox and his goons aren't around to spoil it."
West actually chuckled. "Ahh, I wish I'd been there to see his face. Must have been something else! I feel sorry for his men… having to listen to him all the time—"
"Was there anything else?" Cody asked.
"No sir." West looked at him steadily; his grin vanished as quickly as it came. "We're all doing the best we can. Your men are behind you, sir. I think most of us have been in the same place at least once."
Cody opened his mouth to rebuff West's words, to say he didn't know what West was talking about… and sighed. "You're a good man, West. I'll be fine… as soon as we reach the rest of the fleet."
"That may be." West tilted his head both ways as if to shake a thought loose, or a crick in his neck. "Fine? Yeah. The same as you were before? That might take a little longer."
"As long as I can do my duty, that's all that matters," Cody said, and it was such a Rex thing to say that he looked at the ground, afraid West would see something there. The Rex he had known once, or thought he knew.
"Right," West muttered. "That's what Oliver thought too. Just make sure to think about the long term, or you might be limping around for longer than you like."
Cody tried to squeeze out a joking tone. "West, are you scolding me? Your commanding officer?"
"I try not to pull rank unless I have to, Commander." West gave him a stony look. "But I thought you could use the reminder."
"There are other men who need this kind of talk more than I do," Cody said quietly. He shrugged, trying to roll the tension out of his shoulders. The void in his chest was burning, just below his sternum, like a kick in the gut.
"Maybe." West folded his arms. "I'll keep doing whatever I can think of for them."
"I know you will." Cody took a deep breath. "You're already doing enough for me."
"You're eating, then?"
"Yeah. Slept most of the night."
West nodded grimly. "Well… I'd better get back to the others. See you after breakfast."
…
Cody stood in the cockpit as Aiwha guided the transport in to the Tenacity's shuttle bay. It felt more like coming home than his return to Coruscant had. He hurried back through the doors and the main corridor to direct the offloading. It had been an uneventful couple of days, but the tiny glimpses of Cratt's condition and the restless midnight hours waking up to stifle his own breathing had Cody wound tight enough to elicit warning looks from West every now and then.
Soon enough, it would all be over.
"Shuttle bay is secure," said Aiwha over the ship's PA system. "We are cleared to disembark."
"Alright," Cody commanded the section leaders who had assembled before him in the hall. "You have your assignments. Let's make this quick. Officers, report back to me when you've made contact with your squad or platoon."
"Yes, sir!" The response was mostly enthusiastic.
As soon as the ramp at the back opened to let them off, Cody led the way toward where General Kenobi was standing, conferring with Captains Gil and Ricky. Kenobi looked up, beaming. It was an expression that Cody had only seen directed at him a few times, and those few times gave him a swell of pride.
"General Kenobi." Cody saluted, before putting his hands behind his back. "It's good to be back, sir."
"It's good to have you back." Kenobi came close and gripped his arm, and his eyes flickered to just over Cody's shoulder. "Nice antenna."
"Thank you, sir. Can't wait to test it in the field."
"Yes. Well, I tried to get everything in order for your return, but I'm afraid things are still a bit of a mess around here. It's not the fault of the men, you understand; there was so much I never realized goes into your position. The captains have been handing me constant reports I didn't know what to do with, and I've had to ask them to explain things to me more than once—I'm sure they'll all be quite pleased to know you've arrived. Isn't that right, Captain Ricky?"
Ricky grinned hesitantly. "You've got a lot on your plate, General. I'm sure Commander Cody wouldn't want to add a Jedi's duties to his own either."
"No, sir," Cody confirmed.
Kenobi laughed sheepishly. "Alright, let's see if we can't restore this army to its usual level of excellence now that I'm getting out of the way. I've been causing the men a great deal of stress by violating army regulations without even realizing it—how do you remember the official protocol for every situation?"
"It just takes time to memorize it, sir," Cody said.
"And experience to know when it's more acceptable to bend the rules, I imagine. I've received quite a few worried looks from the troops over that problem as well. I don't think they like having me directly involved in day to day matters." Kenobi clapped a hand briefly on Cody's back. "So glad to have you back."
"Thank you, General." Cody smiled, and it felt genuine. But his mind was already leaping ahead impatiently to his inevitable meeting with Skywalker. He would contact the other general as soon as everything was reasonably sorted out. It couldn't take that long.
…
Five hours later, in a gunship as they began their final descent toward Saleucami, Cody read the report Captain Gil had handed to him. There hadn't been a moment yet where he wasn't being asked to look at some report or other.
"So you're saying nearly five dozen crates of droid poppers just… disappeared?"
"I think I know what happened sir, but I can't confirm it, exactly. General Kenobi directly stated, multiple times, that every trooper's first responsibility was to help load the wounded and to make room by any means necessary, so someone probably shifted the crates to another supply room without updating the records because they were in a hurry. Trouble is, no one's come forward to say which one it was all transferred to, and no one wants to take total inventory. It would take a couple of days, at least, even with an entire squad working on it."
Cody sighed. "Why didn't you or Ricky just assign a squad at the time?"
"Sorry, sir." Gil grimaced. "We were busy. It's… difficult to tell a Jedi what needs to be done, sir, when he's already given out assignments."
"He would have listened," Cody insisted.
"To you, of course, but—"
"No," Cody interrupted gently. "He respects our abilities and it's up to us to keep things running behind the scenes. He can't be aware of everything all the time, even if he is a Jedi."
"Of course, sir. I… just didn't anticipate how difficult it would be to trust that. I never realized to what extent you influenced his orders to the rest of us."
Cody took a moment to digest that. "Well… maybe things will shake out while we're offloading. Thanks for bringing it to my attention."
"Yes, sir. That's all from me, sir."
Cody braced himself for someone else to call, someone else in the gunship to try and get his attention. But after five seconds, it was still silent. Now was as good a time as any.
Being Marshal Commander had its privileges. Cody could key in to the communicators of any Jedi General, and Skywalker had worked closely with Kenobi so often that calling him was almost as natural as calling Kenobi.
Still, his heart beat noticeably as he raised his wrist to his mouth. "General Skywalker, come in, please. This is Commander Cody."
A pause. "I hear you Commander. What can I do for you?"
He couldn't tell if Skywalker's voice was tense or if he was just imagining it.
"I need to speak with you as soon as possible."
"Alright. Is Obi-Wan coming with you?"
"He's still on the Tenacity, taking care of a few things. He'll be down shortly."
A short laugh. "Alright… I'm already on the surface, over with the other fighters. You'll have to make it fast, we need to move out soon."
"Yes, sir. I'll see you then."
As the ship vibrated in its final descent, he grew more nervous. He had never approached a general while feeling so volatile, and about such a sensitive topic. Everything depended on his ability to keep a cool head, especially if Skywalker was in one of his contrary moods Kenobi often complained about. He kept to an outline of what he wanted to say. Concern about a possible security breach… that was a good place to start. No assumptions. Keep it professional.
The larty settled and opened its sides. Cody jumped out and saw the starfighters had landed in a shadowy indentation nearby.
Skywalker was already heading over. He looked about the same as ever when he stopped a few meters away, tall, looking down at Cody with the shadow of a confident smile waiting in the corner of his mouth.
"Let's talk over there." Skywalker motioned toward a clump of bulbous trees.
"Yes, sir."
Cody stared at the back of Skywalker's shoulders as they walked, running over what to say. When they reached the shade the General turned to face him, arms folded.
"Now that you've got my attention… what is it?"
"Sir. While I was on Coruscant, I became aware of a possible security breach."
Skywalker's eyebrow quirked a little. "Okay. Go on."
"Some men in the city guard were spreading rumors about the last mission your Capt—your former Captain, Rex, was sent on." Cody tried to keep his tone even despite the fumble. "I think I managed to shut it down, but they were… unsettling, sir. The things they were saying. I thought you should know."
The General bowed his head a little, shadowing his narrowed eyes. "And what exactly were they saying to make you think it wasn't just a rumor?"
"They said…." It was hard to force himself to speak evenly through the anger. "That he made a big mistake on his last mission, possiblyintentional, and that it was on Anaxes. I assume it had something to do with the navy, sir, but he was nearly killed down there, and some of the troops are wondering how he sustained injuries like that on such a strongly Republic-allied world—"
"It was a top secret mission for a reason, Commander," Skywalkwer's voice held a warning note.
"Of course, sir. But they believe he must have betrayed the Republic somehow, and that's why he was sent…on that suicide mission." Cody took a deep breath, rushing when he hadn't meant to. "They also mentioned he was investigating key members of the senate—"
"I don't see why it's anyone's business why Rex was sent away," Skywalker's voice raised just a hair into a tone that Cody knew meant danger. "And if it was for disloyalty, you'd think you would know better than to do the same thing!"
"I…." Cody quickly corrected his expression with a rush of dread. "Sir, I don't understand exactly what you mean. I just want to set the record straight."
Skywalker started pacing and immediately stopped, sticking close to Cody and bearing down with that dark stare. "You don't think it was for a good reason? Do you think I would let a good captain go unless it was the right thing to do? And if there was something you heard that seemed like sensitive information, why do you think I would tell you and not Obi-Wan?"
"I… sir, it's not a matter of doubting the Republic," Cody protested, but the second he said it, he knew it was a lie. He was doubting the decision to let Rex go, doubting Rex…. "I thought…. He always spoke highly of you, General. I simply thought," he said choppily, "it would be more appropriate, to bring these rumors directly to your attention, sir."
"Rex isn't my Captain anymore." Skywalker's voice was heavy, his eyes burning disapprovingly into Cody's. "He was a soldier of the Republic and the Republic made its decision. That's all you need to know. That's all anyone needs to know! It's not your place to question whether he deserved it."
Cody clenched his fists and jaw, his entire body seizing in anger and then horror at himself. This was a general, the General Skywalker, Kenobi's closest friend, the Jedi hero of the war, the man Rex had looked up to with unwavering loyalty and admiration. And yet he wanted to punch him. His whole body trembled for half a moment with the effort of suppressing it, and he tried to breathe, hoping desperately that Skywalker couldn't sense the nature of his struggle.
"You want to know the truth?" Skywalker's voice rose passionately. "Rex was losing it! He did compromise the mission on Anaxes, by directly disobeying orders, chasing threats that weren't there! He willfully defied everything I ordered him to do, putting thousands at risk! If he hadn't, he would probably still be alive right now! But he just couldn't let go of his crazy paranoid fantasies, trying to work against the best people in the Republic! He wouldn't listen to me; he kept secrets from me, gave away crucial intelligence to people suspected of working against the Republic—"
"Sir," Cody said, overwhelmed. "That can't be true—Rex would never—!"
"It's true!" Skywalker cried, slashing his arm through the air. Cody nearly took a step backward. "You don't even want to know some of the things he said to me. He wasn't the same Rex you knew. He was unreliable on missions, even before what happened on Anaxes. His lack of focus got too many people killed."
"Sir, Rex was an excellent officer! I don't understand how this can—"
"Stop… defending… his weaknesses," Anakin insisted fiercely. "You clones put too much trust in each other—this is not the time for the army to start treating individual men like they're more important than winning the war! We can't afford that kind of selfishness right now!"
Cody couldn't move. He wanted to leave but was frozen to the spot, bracing for whatever new crack in his reality might show up next. The ground was falling out from under him, and his throat was crammed full of air his lungs couldn't seem to absorb or let go of. And there was Skywalker, so close. It would be so easy...
Skywalker took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. "You wanted the truth. I've already told you more than you needed to know. Just forget about this. If you want to avoid repeating what happened to Rex, just… just forget about him and focus on your duties." His voice flattened out at the end, quieting. "Trust your superiors."
Cody wanted to say he did trust them, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. Every word that arose was a word of anger and argument. Surely there had to be some mistake in his understanding, some crucial piece of information he was missing. But this had been the struggle from the beginning. Accept the decision. It should be a relief to finally find a good reason that Rex was gone, but he had seen more than once the way Rex grew venomous in the presence of traitors. How could Rex have been one? How could he have changed so suddenly? How could even Skywalker believe it?
"Was there anything else?" Skywalker asked dully.
"No, sir," Cody croaked.
"You're dismissed, then."
But Skywalker turned away first, walking so fast his feet kicked up dust as if he were running, fists stiff at his thighs. Cody stood still before a cracked, muffled yell made it out through his teeth, and he slammed his fists against the nearest tree. Immediately he unclenched his hands and tore his helmet off, throwing it to the ground, shaking and ashamed of himself as he paced a wide circle around it.
Rex had tried too hard for too long to stay strong when he was breaking… tried too hard to be vigilant, maybe, and ended up obsessing over… what? Finding traitors in the senate? Cody didn't have to look too far to realize how that might happen. His own feeling that something must be wrong with the situation could have easily led him in the same direction. If it was Fives' death at the hands of allies that drove Rex insane….
He could barely see around the memories of Rex's confession. How could Rex believe it too? Why did everyone believe Rex would betray the Republic, unless it was true? Cody's stomach felt like it was full of molten slag, and the idea of disappearing somewhere dark and solitary was the only thing that sounded safe right now. But he had too many things to do. They were on the edge of another battle. And in the dark and silence the memories would swallow him alive. He could turn the anger toward the enemy. He couldn't be this person, who couldn't let go of a dead brother, like a rookie still clinging in denial to a batcher's body on his first battlefield. He knew better.
Jerking out of his pacing, he crouched to retrieve his helmet and brush the dust off before putting it back on. He shivered at his own breathing, his back a single burning knot as he forced himself to follow the path Skywalker had taken toward the rest of the army, and the trembling brought him back to Rex's voice, breaking. Why didn't he talk to me? Why didn't I listen?
Rex hadn't trusted even him, in the end. And when he had spoken, at the rails outside the bar, Cody had missed the significance of it, and Rex must have decided not to push it, too ashamed. Maybe he had doubted himself too. Cody was sure if Rex had been in earnest, he would have believed anything Rex said. Rex was infallible, the most honest and loyal soldier Cody had ever known. He always had been. It was a fact of the universe, like the constant rain and churning seas of Kamino. And now the oceans were drying up.
And everyone believed it was right, even Rex. Everyone accepted it. Except me, Cody thought, vibrating with anger, and tried to direct it purely at the enemy. But for a moment he hated everything, including himself. Even Rex, even Skywalker believed this was right. Every breath was fuel to the fire spreading through his nerves.
Cody plunged headfirst into the nearest crowd. The sooner he could tear a few clankers apart, the better. There would be no other way to let this fury go.
…
Anakin lengthened his strides to get away from his battalion faster. He'd already given Appo the orders for the rest of the officers, but still, he caught sight of his commander running toward him.
"General!" Appo called. "General Skywalker!"
"What is it, Commander?" Anakin snapped.
Appo came up a few paces short. "Sorry, sir. I just wanted to confirm whether you will be heading to the port with General Kenobi, or leading the central contingent with me."
"Heading to the port."
"Yes, sir," Appo said, but he didn't move. "And our plans for after the rendezvous?"
"When it's important to know, I'll tell you." How many times was it going to take to get that message through to the men?
"Yes, General… understood!" Appo came sharply to attention. "We will move out immediately."
Anakin watched him jog away through the deep shade of the bulbous trees. He turned and hurried to find Obi-Wan, beyond the ranks of the 212th troops who were rushing to offload supplies. As he passed through them, he caught a glimpse of Cody consulting with another officer. Then an AT-RT crossed his field of vision and blocked the view.
He found Obi-Wan lying on his stomach on the nearest ridge, binoculars in hand. Anakin stood apart a ways, far enough from the edge that his outline wouldn't be visible to any enemies below. He stood still until Obi-Wan put down the binoculars and looked up at him.
"You seem stressed." Obi-Wan's cheerful tone was directly at odds with the tilt of his eyebrows.
"We need to talk."
Obi-Wan gave him a questioning look before he sat up. Anakin just shook his head and walked away a few paces, behind a large rock that would block them from view of the camp and keep their voices from carrying. Too bad it was still hot even in the shade. That did nothing for Anakin's mood.
Obi-Wan followed him with a sigh. "Just when I thought I was off the hook…."
"What? You mean because your commander's back?" Anakin asked.
"Well, yes. I was rather enjoying the idea of not being interrupted every five seconds by something that needs my immediate attention."
"Well, you might have to hold off on your vacation a little longer," Anakin muttered as he turned to face him.
"Alright, this is obviously serious," Obi-Wan said. "Did you get some new intelligence on our targets here? Is the fleet in danger?"
"What? No! It's not an outside threat. Although… you wouldn't know it by the kinds of things your commander's been asking me about."
"Like what?" Obi-Wan looked startled.
"He says there have been rumors spreading around on Coruscant about why Rex is gone, and he came to me acting like it was some kind of serious security breach." Anakin's voice briefly turned mocking. "And asking me what was 'really going on'. You better keep an eye on that Cody, Master, or he might end up going down the exact same path as Rex!"
Obi-Wan gave a sympathetic smile. "Anakin, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Why don't you let me worry about Cody? And you can focus on getting to know your new commander."
"This isn't a joke," Anakin protested, annoyed at Obi-Wan's stolid positivity. "He's going to start making some serious mistakes if he doesn't back off! Why is it that all these clones are suddenly trying to tell the Jedi and the Senate how to run things, and sticking their noses where they don't belong?"
"Now, wait a minute. Don't you think you might be generalizing just a—?"
"No, I'm not! This kind of questioning is rampant in the Five-Oh-First, and it looks like your battalion is having the same problem! Why do they have to start worrying about how the military is handling things now?" Anakin took a deep breath, frustration roiling through him. "Thinking they know more than we do about the war! You know, at first I thought these new uniformity measures from high command were extreme, but maybe Admiral Tarkin has the right idea after all! Clones are supposed to be soldiers, not investigators, not anything else! It just gets people killed when they do this! It has to stop!"
Obi-Wan stared at him with alarm. "Anakin… calm down."
"Is that all you can say?" Anakin pressed his fists against his own head in a brief moment of sheer frustration. "Calm down? This war is going on too long! When was the last time you sat down and thought about how many people have died in the entire galaxy because of it? How many deaths could have been prevented if everyone would just stop thinking they know what's best and listen to us?! We can't have disloyalty in the ranks now, not now that we're so close to the end—one captain or commander spreading the wrong ideas could ruin everything and every time the end of the war gets postponed, thousands more innocent people die! It's bad enough when we're not getting distracted with… with delusional soldiers who can't let go of the past, who can't put the Republic first like they're supposed to!"
"What are you talking about?" Obi-Wan asked quietly. "There's something you're not telling me. Explain."
Anakin stopped himself. He'd said too much. He hadn't intended this—it was supposed to be a simple warning. But the anger was there, coiled in his chest. Master Yoda had been right about his weaknesses. The thought just made him feel worse. He stared at the brittle grass beneath his feet.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan prompted firmly. "I'm listening. Tell me what you're thinking."
"No." He turned away so he wouldn't have to look at Obi-Wan's kind face. "Forget it."
"I can't help you unless you—"
"I wasn't asking for your help." Anakin stepped out of the shade and started walking back down the hill. "I just hope you can keep Cody out of trouble."
"I'll… do my best," Obi-Wan said gently, and Anakin didn't have to turn around to see the bewildered look on his face.
…
After Anakin left, Obi-Wan sat down alone for several minutes, processing what he'd heard. Distant noises of men and machinery faded into silence as half their forces marched beyond earshot. He ran through everything Anakin had said and his desperate tone of voice and agitated movements. Then he raised his arm.
"Cody?"
"Yes, sir."
"Could I speak with you privately for a moment?"
A pause. "Yes, sir. I'll need to speak with the captains for a moment first."
"That's fine. Meet me on the eastern ridge."
Less than ten minutes later, Obi-Wan saw the commander's figure climbing the hill with slow, deliberate steps, shadow stretching in front of him. He had his helmet tucked under his arm. Obi-wan's heart sank at the change he sensed in Cody. Outwardly, it was still nearly impossible to tell; Cody's eyes locked on Obi-wan as soon as he joined him in the shade. The commander looked alert, almost too alert, his eyes wide and his face stiff and drained of any of the easygoing calm Obi-Wan had seen earlier. But inwardly, the confusion, sadness, and suffering that had been effectively tempered upon his initial return was back in full force, nearly as raw as the first time Obi-Wan had felt it. And now it had been joined by a shield of anger.
"Cody… I'm sorry about Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed immediately. "I heard you and he had a… conversation. I see it wasn't exactly pleasant for either of you."
There—Cody's façade wavered, his eyes falling slightly and refocusing for a moment in a way that Obi-Wan was certain meant he was grasping for the right thing to say. "I was out of line, sir." It sounded forced.
"I doubt you were any further out of line than Anakin was. I'm not entirely sure why he reacted the way he did, but if his conversation with you was anything like his conversation with me… well, I think he has a lot on his mind, and he might have taken it out on you."
Cody stood stiffly, staring at the ground with his jaw quivering, forehead creased, barely breathing. It was almost hatred, Obi-Wan realized.
"You know he… he lost his padawan Ahsoka not so long ago. And I think he feels a great deal of grief and conflict about what happened with Rex… but he won't talk to me about it. Last time I tried, he thought I was… questioning his loyalties…." Obi-Wan caught himself, clasping his hands in front of him. "Well, I didn't call you here to make excuses for him. I just want you to know that I don't agree with his feelings on this matter. And if you still have any questions, I promise I will try to answer them to the best of my ability."
Cody stayed still as a droid in his armor, then took a slow breath, staring at the ground—a breath meant to keep him from saying too much, from all Obi-Wan was sensing. He waited. The silence was heavy, but Obi-Wan held back from breaking it.
At last, Cody said, "Thank you sir. I think I've already got my answer."
"But what exactly did he say?"
"I'd rather not repeat it," Cody half-whispered.
"Anakin mentioned something about rumors spreading on Coruscant," Obi-Wan prompted, and pressed on when Cody remained silent. "About Rex. I think I can put two and two together. Do you remember when Rex asked you to set up a private meeting with me?"
Cody nodded. His face was constricted in an expression Obi-Wan had almost never seen before.
"Did he tell you what we talked about?"
Cody looked so miserable for a moment that Obi-Wan felt a pang of guilt for even asking. But then the commander shook his head slightly. "He…." Cody swallowed. "He was worried the virus that…."
Kenobi waited, but Cody could only manage a tight "Sorry, sir," under his breath.
"He asked me who commissioned the clone army. That is confidential information, and I'm afraid I got rather impatient with him for even asking. I was surprised at his persistence, I suppose." Now in retrospect, he could see all too clearly what had driven him to take offense.
"So…" Cody said in defeat. "You're saying that… Rex…was looking into… things he shouldn't have. That…."
Obi-Wan waited.
"He was a traitor?" Cody whispered.
"No," Obi-Wan said gently. "Cody, that's not what I'm saying at all."
Cody looked up at him suddenly, almost pleading. "I don't understand, General."
"He was concerned with the parasite that drove Arc Trooper Fives mad, yes. He and Anakin were both there when Fives was killed. And Fives apparently said some things that implied a conspiracy of some kind against the Republic, most likely being carried out by someone in the senate. I think Rex was never truly convinced that a parasite was the cause of his breakdown, and because he trusted Fives, he couldn't ignore such a serious threat to the integrity of the army, even if it seemed unlikely to everyone else around him. I'm fairly certain he was loyal to the end… in his own way. I believe… seeing his friend die at the hands of his allies must have turned his drive to protect the rest of us into an obsession."
He could feel a painful hope in Cody rising.
"It wouldn't be the first time he's faced such a terrible situation," Obi-Wan sighed. "Isn't that right? After what happened to the Five-Oh-First under Pong Krell. And to some of our own men, as well."
"Yes, sir," Cody said.
Obi-Wan waited, but Cody didn't move or say anything more.
"You're still angry," he observed. What an understatement.
Cody stiffened. "I'm sorry, General. I know I have no reason to be. It's inexcusable."
"Oh, it's nothing to apologize about. Except perhaps to yourself." Obi-Wan sighed. "I don't usually bring up things like this, but… I understand a part of how you must be feeling. I cared a great deal for my Master, and when he was killed, I found it very difficult to let go of my anger. I thought I had, but… having to face the Sith who killed him after all these years brought it all back to the surface, and interfered with my judgment. If not for that… perhaps some deaths could have been prevented."
Obi-Wan watched Cody for a response to that, hoping his persistence, his own vulnerability, would do more good than harm to Cody's confidence. The commander seemed conflicted.
"I promised you, General," Cody muttered, eyes on the floor. "I'll take care of this, one way or another."
"The thing I'm still learning," Obi-Wan pressed on quietly, "is one of the most fundamental teachings of the Jedi philosophy. Fear leads to anger. Fear of a loss of some kind, usually. So when we are angry, we must ask ourselves what it is we are so afraid of. What are you afraid of, Cody? I want to help you."
"Sir," Cody said uncomfortably. "I don't… I don't think that talking about this will help."
"Because you're afraid to acknowledge that you're suffering?" Obi-Wan couldn't keep a tiny note of exasperation from his voice.
Cody sighed slowly, and Obi-Wan felt certain he'd hit the mark.
"You need to let it move through you. Letting go of attachment means letting go of fear… allowing ourselves to experience our feelings as they happen, good and bad, and recognizing they are only temporary… it's the only way to keep from being corrupted by them."
"I'm not a Jedi, sir," Cody insisted. "I don't know how to do any of this. Besides… if I am…afraid of something…. It's probably just that Fox was right… and… I didn't really know Rex as well as I thought I did…."
"I see." Obi-Wan frowned, not sure if Cody was being entirely honest or not. "How long have you known Rex?"
"Well… since we were cadets," Cody said, raising his hands from his sides slightly in a helpless gesture. "Kids, really... we were six when we met."
"And how long has Fox known him?"
"I'm not sure." Cody's mouth quivered—it almost looked like a weak smile. "A few years, maybe?"
"Then take that as a comfort. Both you and I know that Rex was as we knew him to be: a man of great integrity, a good friend." Obi-Wan finally gave in and reached for Cody's shoulder, rested his hand lightly on the shoulder plate. The restraint keeping Cody's face smooth and empty wavered again. "With the right perspective, his motives do make sense for who he was. And it does seem wrong that he was condemned for doing what he thought was his highest duty."
"And General Skywalker, sir?" Cody's breath came rough. "Is it possible he sensed something about Rex that we don't know?"
"I suppose… but… please trust me, Cody. I think I know when my former Padawan is being unreasonable. He is acting out of his pain… and he is in a great deal of it. I think… he is looking desperately for a justification, a good reason for the Republic's decision to…." Obi-Wan struggled with himself for a moment, realizing the euphemisms that immediately came to mind were just that. "To put Rex to death."
Cody exhaled as if he'd been kicked, closing his eyes tightly for a moment. "I…."
Obi-Wan kept his hand on Cody's shoulder, feeling a sad swell of admiration for his intense commitment to the Republic.
"I don't know what to say," Cody said, sounding lost. "I don't know what to think. It… I don't want to question the orders… but Rex was…."
"Caught up in forces that were beyond him," Obi-Wan sighed. "Cody, I'm trying to tell you that you're not wrong for feeling pain at the loss of someone you loved. No one is immune to that. I have felt it before. I've even let it corrupt me only because I didn't want to acknowledge that I felt it. I was afraid." He stopped himself, realizing that Cody's fear carried another layer of truth to it. "You... must also be afraid that expressing any kind of anger over the decisions of high command will carry a punishment."
"I don't want to question orders, sir," Cody repeated quietly, head bowed. "I… almost wish there was some traitor, responsible for this…. I'm sorry."
Obi-Wan felt trapped. Saying aloud that Cody was angry at the policies of the army in general would only make Cody feel more like a traitor, and what good would that do?
"I know how loyal you are to the Republic," he finally said. "Although they could have handled this situation better—" I could have handled it better, Obi-Wan thought. "—looking for someone to blame isn't going to change what you've lost. It isn't going to heal you. And that is what we need to focus on now. Of the two of us, I have more of a voice in the way the army does things. I'll be the one who worries about preventing this kind of tragedy in the future." Obi-Wan let his voice go very soft, and smiled sadly. "Is that clear, Commander?"
"Yes, sir." Cody looked at him with trust. For a moment Obi-Wan almost felt like he had a padawan again, and remembered the moments early on when Anakin was still a child, still missing his mother and trying to be strong. He shook himself free of that idea; Cody was an adult, no matter what his numerical age said, and Obi-Wan had always thought of him as such. But adults could feel just as lost and overwhelmed as children at times.
"If I'm responsible for your life… for all your men's lives… then I will do my best to protect you. I may fail—"
"General, our lives are our own, but we choose to give them up in service to you," Cody said automatically.
"Then that choice is exactly what I want to protect." Obi-Wan finally let his hand drop to his side. "There are some forces at work in the Republic that… well, let's just say they don't fully realize the value of that choice. You are more than just my commander, Cody. I'd like to be allowed to help you as a friend, but the choice is yours, of course. Just know that with me, you are entirely safe from suspicion of disloyalty. I've known you long enough and well enough, I think. It would take more than a bit of anger for me to lose faith in you."
Cody slumped a bit, and Obi-Wan wondered if it was in defeat or relief. "Thank you, General." He looked and sounded exhausted. "I don't want to let you down…."
"You haven't," Obi-Wan said firmly. Then, he laughed a little, which brought Cody's gaze up from the ground for a moment in question. "If there's something I've learned while you've been gone, it's that having the men trying too hard not to let me down can sometimes make it all too easy for me to let them down, and then I look like a complete fool. I think the captains who led in your absence didn't know what they were signing up for." He half smiled at Cody. "It's probably best if we're all a little more comfortable with one another's weaknesses. Besides, you usually handle things on the ground so well that it puts me to shame."
Cody straightened a little, trying and failing to smile back. "Ah… sir, it's just a matter of experience."
"Well, you know how often I complain to you about things. It's only fair that I listen once in a while. And I would have so much more to complain about if you weren't here."
Cody almost laughed—he gave a small huff of breath and shook his head. "I don't mind the complaining too much, sir. It can be pretty entertaining."
"Good! At least one of us is amused." Obi-Wan folded his arms, testing Cody through the Force again. He had relaxed a bit… perhaps the anger was fluctuating, lessening. "It's an interesting coincidence that you and Rex ended up working together so often after completing your training. I never really thought about it before. Is it rare to have such a strong friendship last outside of the same battalion?"
"I'm not sure. We don't… I… we were aware when we graduated that we might not see each other again… but that goes for every soldier in every battle, sir." Cody looked a little ashamed. "Groups of cadets are split up sometimes even if they're not being trained as officers."
"It must have been a great surprise for both of you that Anakin and I work together so often."
"Yes, sir. We always felt we were extremely fortunate in who we were assigned to. For several reasons."
"And I imagine your friendship only grew stronger with experience."
Cody took a deep breath. "Yes, sir."
Obi-Wan watched him, and Cody stared back, resigned.
"You probably wish I wouldn't notice all of this."
Cody's eyes narrowed a little but he said nothing.
"You'll have to be patient with me, Cody. It may seem easier to pretend that this never happened. But I think you know that's not the case. And it would be a shame to treat all that history between you as if it was meaningless. That's not really what you want, is it?"
"I don't know."
"Well... I'll leave it to you. You know your relationship with Rex much better than I do. But I am obligated to take an interest in it, both as your friend and as your General."
"I understand, sir. I appreciate the gesture… and the advice. I'm just not sure how to… follow it, exactly."
"I'm sure we'll figure something out. In the meantime, try not to let what Anakin said bother you too much. I wish my talks with him were nearly as productive as this." Obi-Wan shook his head. "I wish I knew if I were getting through to him at all."
A weak laugh from Cody. It hurt to see him trying so hard to act normal. "He's still young by the usual standards, isn't he? Sometimes I forget."
"He is," Obi-Wan admitted. "But a little too old to still be going through a brooding adolescent rebellion." Obi-Wan softened, thinking again of the pain Anakin was in. "Well, I can't be too hard on him… he's just stubborn, that's all."
"Stubbornness can be a good thing," Cody affected a light tone and shrugged stiffly. "He's an effective general." He hesitated. "If Rex respected him, and you're like a brother to him, sir… he can't be that bad."
Obi-Wan laughed. "No, he isn't…."
Cody took another deep breath and shifted his stance. "Thank you again for the antenna, sir. I'd better get back to the troops. If there's nothing else…."
"Oh. No, nothing else. Shall we?"
Cody hesitated, nodded once and turned to go. Obi-Wan sighed heavily and walked with him down the hill, hoping he had helped at least a little. Now all he had to do was figure out a way to defuse Anakin, or try to be there to mop up the damage the next time he exploded.
…