Chapter 16

No... It shouldn't be like this. Not with him. I try to struggle away from him, but he pushes me further into the bed, his fingers cutting into my skin, leaving their mark.

I came here willingly, but I changed my mind. I told him no, I told him to stop. But he has no intention of stopping. No intention at all.

'Please...'

The only word I can get out, as my mind goes into a blind panic. I feel the shirt rise, as his hand slips underneath. I hear his breathing against my cheek and I freeze in fear at his touch.'

'Shush... You will like this... Just trust me.'

But I don't trust him.

I don't trust him at all.

I have never trusted him.

I want to get out of here. I am trapped in my bedroom. The door has been locked from the inside, and nobody will find us in here as they all outside. I hear the muffled voices and wish I was stronger and less afraid so I could shout for help. But this guy scares me. The hand he slipped under my top is now wrestling with my bra, his fingers are tucking underneath, bringing the cups upwards so they rest above my breasts. He laughs into my ear and the sound chills me.

'Fuck... You have nice tits.'

I breath quickly, and my heart is racing. I am scared. I should be putting up a fight, but I cant bring myself to move. I am frozen to the spot.

'Please...'

I beg again.

'Please... I don't want this...'

His laugh repeats and I feel as his teeth bite down on my neck, causing me to squeal in pain. The bite is a warning. He is going to do this whether I want it or not.

The hand is twisting my nipples painfully, and I feel hardening at the top of my thigh. I have never done anything like this before. I wanted to have sex, but I chose the wrong person. I was trying to kid myself, trying to kid how I felt...how can I undo this? I start to push against him, but he simply puts more pressure back. One hand is still resting on my breast, whilst the other lowers to the button on my denim shorts. Quickly, he pops it open, before teasing the zip down. I try to protest, but he covers my mouth with his. I taste him, as his tongue dips in and out of my mouth. The taste of alcohol is strong and I gag. There goes that laugh again, before he bites my lip painfully. I taste blood mixed with the filthy taste of him and I feel my stomach churn. His lower hand slips into my shorts and finds an area that I don't want him to touch. I want my sister, she would fight him off for me. I push again, trying to pull his hand away from me. His patience is running low, and I am shocked into submission when he slaps me across the face. Looking down at me, his face is downcast. He is angry. But I think he was angry before he even came into here. I shake with fear and tears spill from my eyes. I stare up at him.

'Please...'

It is all I can manage, before his hand comes up to grip tightly around my throat.

'Hard way, or easy way, bitch! Your choice!'

I cry a little harder, but I nod slowly. I don't want him to hurt me.

He smiles, but he looks almost manic. I fear this man. I have always felt uncomfortable around him. Why did I flirt with him? Why did I lead him up here? I know why... But none of it matters right now.

He relieves some of the pressure as he lifts himself off my briefly, but only long enough so that he can lower my pants and shorts. I am naked beneath him and I feel a rush of shame. Instinctively, I cross my legs, trying to hide myself. The act brings out another laugh from him, and I turn my head away, staring at the wall. I don't want to see him looking at me.

'Sit up!'

I look back abruptly, caught off guard by his request.

'Sit UP!'

I do as he says, and look up sheepishly at him.

'Take the rest off.'

Controlling my emotions, knowing that I will only anger him more, I lift my top off. I delay slightly with my bra, not wanting to be completely naked when I remove it. But knowing that I don't have any choice. I take it off gingerly, letting it drop to the floor, and all at once I cross my arms across myself, trying to hide away from his glances.

'Very nice.'

I hate him! I hate this! I want it to be over with. I want to turn back the clock and change my mind. His hands push me back roughly onto the bed, and he removes his own shirt. I see the tattoos and the toned chest. This is what I wanted right? Should I try to make myself enjoy it? I know that it would be impossible. The very sight of him repulses me. I lie still, arms wrapped across my chest, legs crossed and I stare up straight ahead. I can hear him removing his trousers beside me. Within seconds he climbs on top of me, pushing my clamped legs apart so he can place himself between them. I want to hide. I want to cower away, but I can't. I am on display. Grabbing my arms roughly, he pushes them to my side, so that my body is open to him. Blushes rise up to my cheeks.

Get it over with!

I want to shout it out loud, but I can't find my voice.

His right hand comes up and rests on my breast, twisting the nipple. His left hand travels slowly up my thigh, before it reaches the spot between my legs. I inhale in shock as his fingers slide around before he slowly inserts a finger inside of me. The pain is immediate. I want it to stop. But there is no chance of that happening now. In, out, in, out. I feel as he speeds up, and although I hate this, the pain is lessening. His thumb on the same hand circles around the outside whilst he still pushes in and out of me. I don't want this. I hate him. And yet, the feeling is not pain. The feeling is something else. The feeling is almost okay. No, the feeling is good. I feel shame rush through me. Why am I enjoying him raping me? Why?

Working on me with his hands, he notices the change in me.

'Enjoying that, eh?'

I blush deeper. I don't want to enjoy this. My body is betraying. The pressure on my nipple plus the invasion between my legs is creating a sensation that I have never felt before. He takes his fingers out of me, smiling at me. That same menacing smile which makes me fear him. He is enjoying this way too much. He knows I don't want this, but he is getting off on my body saying otherwise.

'Feel this.'

And with that, he lowers himself so that his mouth is level with the area where his hand just was. I try to ignore it. I try to focus on anything but what he is doing, but as his tongue slips in and around, I feel a twisting sensation deep in my stomach. As he pushes his tongue around me, I feel his fingers enter me, creating even more sensation. I want this to stop. Please. Please stop. I cry in shame, tears streaking down my face, but he doesn't relent. I unwillingly bite my lip, trying to ignore what is happening below my waist. The suckling, licking and entering is creating a fire in my stomach that I have never experienced before, and I want him to stop. I don't want to feel like this with him. The sensations are proving too much, and I feel heat rise up inside of me. I grab and twist the bedding underneath me. My mind wants this to stop, but my body is enjoying the ride. Why can't stop this?

And then it happens... my first orgasm... at the hands of a man I hate. A man I fear. I feel the shudders rip through my body as he continues to assault me with his mouth. Lifting himself up and above me, I see the smug look in his face, before he grabs me roughly by the face and then slipping his tongue into my mouth, forcing me to taste myself. I feel the familiar churn in my stomach. I feel sick.

'Is this over now?'

I sob. I shake. I want to get away from him.

'No... now, its my turn.'

And then he enters me, and the pain causes me to scream out. The noise I make is quickly stifled by his hand, and I watch through teary eyes as Shane stares down at me. The pain makes me want to kick him off of me, but he holds me down. I must wait until he is finished with raping me.