Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Wishful Thinking
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It's been an hour and she hadn't eaten half of the food. She was staring at her plate in perfect silence for a while, breathing in and out, and repeating to herself it was alright. It was absolutely fine for him to stare, it's something he's been doing for years, it was part of his character. It's just what he did, with everyone. It would've been ridiculous not to stare at her as well, they were wife and husband. Ridiculous... She was being ridiculous because staring was a thing he did, but it transpierced and shook her to her core every single time. Her body never learned what to do about it or how to handle it.
The heatwaves hit her one after the other, leaving her mind in a heavy daze. Her vision was doubling and tripling as if she was high on a painkiller… no, it was something stronger, something clammy, a mist of something vast and pleasant and she was submerged whole. She could feel everything, the moisture that was onto her skin, every tremor of the sensitive air, every quiet breath that disturbed it. The sounds echoed distantly as if under deep waters.
Sakura blinked when she heard Naruto asking her for the salad. She raised her head with a swallow. It had become really hard to breathe, for some reason, and she blinked a few times, to refocus. Then she smiled before Naruto or Hinata could notice anything, passing the bowl to Naruto quickly. Her fingers slid against the table's surface and grabbed her knife with the full intention to properly start eating. And then she glanced at Sasuke, who was looking down to his own plate absently. Soon he felt her looking his way and raised his head.
The heat was desert-like, her lungs were almost dry from trying to cope with the fire he had set all over. All over. Her mind was in limbo, she lidded her eyes open, her back just slightly arching off the warm, soft surface. The air rippled and with it her nerves too, resounding like a set of strings under the touch of a skilled musician. It was nothing like she had experienced and... she had experienced a lot.
Sakura took a sharp, shaky breath, leaving the fork and knife back on the table. Her heart was racing and she couldn't calm it down. Her appetite had dissipated completely, she was bothered and hot. The fabric bothered her now too, it irritated and suffocated her. She reached for her collar and tugged at it.
"Are you alright, Sakura?" Hinata asked, and she smiled at her immediately.
"Ah, yes! Why wouldn't I be?"
She didn't know this game and she was curious beyond hesitation now. Curious as to what he's constructed with his devices this time. But at the same time, the alarm in her doubled. Naruto cast her dubious glances, it's how she knew she was too weak tonight. She was falling apart already, swallowing thickly, and grabbing her fork with a renewed attempt to eat. She managed to chew on a morsel, but her fingers were shaking a tad when she reached for her glass of water. The water washed a little of her uneasiness, but she couldn't resist, peeking over and meeting his calm gaze.
Her back arched again, head thrown back. The strings strained and her lips parted with the release of the breath of air in her lungs. Her exhale was soundless, but strangely loud in the incandescent atmosphere, the odd pressure wasn't gone with it and it frustrated her. She opened her eyes to a blurry image, his steps echoed in the space and her ears caught the tremble of the ground on which she lied. He was circling around her, she realized; with a slow, unhurried pace as if she was his ritual.
When she felt it again, her breath hitched and broke off and she had to dig into her lip badly to keep her voice from escaping. The moist was sticking to her skin when the air rippled again, the surface beneath her seemed to sink in a tad, softening like wet soil under her weight. His very presence had dissolved into her senses and she marveled at it, he was an odd aura of warmth that she could sense from afar. She wished he wasn't so far.
"Sasuke," she called, faintly, barely moving her lips.
She managed to chew on a second morsel but had to stop and tug at the collar of her evening dress once again, playing with the thin edge and swirling the matter between her fingers.
He talked from time to time, answering questions, nodding. Calm, measured movements. Nothing had changed about his appearance except… his eye. Sakura had to remind herself not to stare for too long so she leaned into Hinata and asked her about meal ideas because she was running out of them lately. She knew he was fast, but it was very mystical to her still. Nobody saw it, even her, even though she was affected. His Mangekyo was shifting alive somewhere in-between, within the split of the second. A blink of an eye was too much time. A blink of an eye was already late.
She had stared at him before, especially when they married first, and his calmness was undoubtedly perfect for everyone else but her. There was an almost invisible strain on his features, like on a person who was holding a breath. You could tell if you were really, really observant. It was a strain on a person who was slowly losing power over something. It was enough to force her to cross her legs and press them together.
"Boruto told me he wanted to train with you more," Naruto chimed, with a proud look on his face. "He wants to master swordfight enough to be able to beat you in a duel."
Sasuke squinted a little, thinking a bit before answering. An evanescent smile flashed on his lips.
"Are you going to tell him that's impossible?"
"Of course not," Naruto scoffed, unable to stop the laugh that came out of him. Hinata started laughing too.
Sasuke swirled his thumb around the rim of his cup absently. Once, then a second time. The third was different because he applied pressure. The fourth was slower and she gripped at her fork hard, a little scared that she'd break it under her inhuman strength and also, terribly conflicted. There was no way he did that purposelessly.
He took a deep breath and sighed. "Thank you both for the dinner."
Naruto raised a brow, but before he could speak Hinata gasped.
"W-wait, it's still so early!" she protested, timidly, looking at her husband for support. "Please stay a little more. Only for the dessert."
Her plea was now directed to Sakura and she wasn't sure how to react or what to say, so she looked over to Sasuke, in hopes that he'd decide instead of her. It was really all the same to her, she didn't mind either of the choices. He looked back.
"Sasuke," she said, louder, and he laughed. The sound splashed around her and made her stomach turn. "It's not funny!" Her voice was close to a whisper and didn't sound as firm as she wanted it to. He came in sight, crouching next to her with this genuine amusement on his features. The Mangekyo was whirling, but so were the tomoe in the Rinnegan, to her surprise. She thought…
"What are you doing?"
"The question is what are you doing?" he shrugged. "It's your fantasy."
The shock went through her and she heaved up, despite the heaviness and the missing shame of her being completely bare, supporting herself with one hand. She pointed him with the other.
"No, it's not. It's your genjutsu! You are in my head, while we're eating dinner at Naruto and Hinata's table."
"I'm not doing anything. Everything is in your…" Sasuke shook his head, angering her with the growing amusement on his features. She clenched her fists and after a blink she was lying on her back, legs apart, with Sasuke over her. Both of them froze at the sudden change, both instinctively backing away, flushed in a deep red. "…your mind." He finished, tilting his head in a mixture of confusion and curiosity.
"I think…" His voice broke off a little and he coughed quickly, to conceal it, but Naruto was giving a pointed look. Then he blinked. "We can stay for dessert if-if Sakura wants to as well."
Sakura couldn't help but snort into a laugh, but it resounded highly inappropriate and displaced from the context, and loud in the pause of the silence. Serves him right, if he went on and dug into her mind without asking, just to experiment with techniques. What did he expect her fantasies to be, watching him talk to her all serious and sophisticated and fully dressed?
"Did you drink any alcohol before coming here?" Naruto squinted at her, then his eyes shifted at a flustered and blushing Sasuke who tried his best to look strictly into a single point on the table.
"Dessert it is, then," Hinata clapped with hands, likely to discard the awkwardness of the situation and Sakura silently thanked her.
"Yeah, I'll help you with the dishes," Naruto furrowed at Sakura and then at Sasuke with an expression of annoyance and bemusement before standing up and walking away, leaving both in the thick silence.
Sakura licked her lips, putting a lock behind her ear casually. That it was funny was one, but the notion, not being bound by any limits and being free from anyone's intervention, free of everything she didn't want, just because she had made a wish. It was perfection made real. They had played around with genjutsu before, but he had never allowed her to take part or control. It made her want to have it again.
Sakura leaned in, searching for his gaze, and he looked at her. For a moment nothing happened, but she smiled. She wanted to experiment too. Shuffling noise and calm voices came from the kitchen, making her want to hurry up. Space and time were different through his eyes so it wasn't much to ask. No one else would notice because they could spend hours in an illusion, but make it a mere second.
His breathing had become more ragged than before, he avoided looking at her, seemingly unsure whether he wanted to continue with the jutsu and give her access. It was going to be a bad inconvenience for him if he went on for sure, but there was a magnetic allure in it all that he was failing to resist. She gave in long ago, all she demanded from him was to follow.
Their gazes met again.
Catching him unprepared was of the things she most adored, but it was probably a bit too much to skip directly into the feeling of being entangled, their bodies pressed intensely against one another amidst this dense, humid air. The heat waves washed over her constantly, but all she could do was breathe heavily, and so did he, relishing in this strange unified sensation. Not quite real, but not an illusion entirely. The senses were muffled here, so it was more of a dream than anything. Lucid, with a lightness that she hadn't felt anywhere else.
There was a sting of shame in the back of her mind, really, that she had to present this exact fantasy out of all others, but she couldn't quite stop herself. Not when she knew she could recreate everything that she set her mind to and that he would be there, as a witness and a participant. The temptation was too great. She wasn't that strong. Her hands skimmed over his skin absently as she breathed against his lips, opening her eyes to see him looking down at her with readable regret. He had predicted the consequences, but it wasn't like he hadn't allowed them to take place himself. The guilt was equal.
Sakura puffed in disbelief, "Do you mean to tell me I can do whatever I want and you'll see, hear and feel it? How… since when does the Mangekyo work like that?"
"It's not Mangekyo only," Sasuke said, his eyes darting to her side in another tick of surprise. He wondered at something for a while, forgetting he was in the middle of giving an explanation, and it soon dawned on her what. The touch of his tips on her face was careful and uncertain, full of anticipation, and she gave him a half-smile. It was long since he had used his dominant hand, so she decided to gift him with it. It was up to him to forgive himself for that already. Maybe he had, but she wished he could feel what it's like again.
"Then what is it?"
"Momoshiki did that, I saw it when I fought him, and so did Kaguya. It's a clan's thing, I suppose. It seems to me that the construction of the illusion is not strictly under my command," Sasuke paused, disrupted by Sakura's uncalled kiss. Her tongue plied against his and she pulled him closer, greatly amused by his furrow.
"Go on," she breathed out through a peal of laughter. "Sorry, you're just so..." her sentence ended with a moan when it finally occurred to him to press his body against her, kissing her back. Likely, as revenge for her interruption. "Speak to me," she whispered, weaving around him tighter.
The heat between them spiked rapidly, she shivered with the pleasurable spasms that coursed through her as he sighed contentedly. There was this lovely, almost childish excitement she felt in him, almost happiness because he could freely touch her. Because it was easy for him to touch and he indulged in it spontaneously. "The Mangekyo can manipulate reality as I want it," He spoke in her ear absently, "but with the augment of the Rinnegan, it can provide an illusion of your mind. I never would've seen the effect if I had tried to perform this on an enemy. It has to be a person that I know well and who trusts me fully."
"What's the mechanism?"
"Enhancing the power of an eye with the Rinnegan of another." He heaved up, to meet her eyes, and she saw the worry in them.
She swallowed, well aware of what he'd say.
"I should stop with this," he sighed, at least just as dreadfully displeased as her. "It got way out of hand."
It was funny and tragic at the same time, but she knew it was a bad idea to go on as well. It was an illusion, after all.
The steps echoed, closing in, and Sakura took a deep breath, eyes wide at the daze that hit her after the illusion broke apart. Everything was fine, except that she now felt a burning sensation between her legs and the desire was still whirling wild inside her. Her lips pressed together when her eyes landed on Sasuke, whose breathing came too sharp into the emptiness. He was genuinely scowling and overall, he looked like he was terribly uncomfortable. Illusion or not, it did damage anyway.
Maybe it was a bad idea, yes, and she only regretted not being alone with him. But it couldn't be helped. Sakura reconciled with the situation and smiled at her hosts again when they sat at the table and brought Hinata's home-made cherry pie. She eyed the piece in her plate, but all she could think of was… Sasuke. There was no way she could eat anything now. As she glanced over to him, she could swear his thoughts were mirroring hers.
"We need to go," Sasuke suddenly spoke, standing up, and Sakura was shocked at first, holding her breath. Naruto and Hinata looked up at him in utter astonishment. The strain in his voice was very much real now and sensible to everyone.
"What?" Naruto blurted out. "I see there's clearly something wrong, but you could at least tell me what."
Sakura stood up as well, but completely silent. It was terribly offensive to leave abruptly like that, she knew. Sasuke knew it too. It wasn't like they didn't stay for a few hours, though.
"You need to go," Naruto repeated, more like a question and Sasuke kept staring down at the table. Then he took a breath and stepped away, taking Sakura by the hand.
"It's urgent," he announced nonchalantly, on his way out of the house, and Sakura had to bite her lip hard to keep from laughing and offending Naruto and Hinata by doing so.
"Thank you so much for the dinner!" She waved with a hand before Sasuke swished them out of the door.
He faced her, once they were outside and the faint moonlight bathed his dark hair and pale skin. His eyes came alive again, but it was vivid and sharp this time because she wasn't in the previous haze. Sakura almost asked what he planned to do now, but he cleared up the situation by pushing her backward. The nausea was intense and brief when the reality shifted under the power of his eyes and they fell, her back meeting a familiar softness.
Sakura gasped, recognizing their bedroom, and then finally allowed herself to burst out laughing. He's been impatient before, but skipping through distances for a cause like this was rare. She took her dress off and began unbuttoning his shirt, used to doing it, nimble and quiet. Back to the usual. As worked-up they have managed to get themselves to be throughout the years, undressing him as he stood still and quiet has been ever so adorable. Plainly adorable.
Especially when he didn't like her being slow with it. Like now, his faintly glowing eyes marking sharp pathways over her body in the dark. She wasn't halfway done with the button when he pushed her hand away and tore down forcefully through the rest, making her breath stumble with another laugh. Ruining clothes was never in his repertoire, matter-of-fact; he had a gloomy sense of fashion, but he always came from missions without a speck of dust on him. And he liked his clothes a lot most of the time. Tearing away through them was a high compliment for her and she appreciated it.
"Stop laughing, this is your fault," Sasuke growled, pushing them down and pressing his lips against hers to stop her from trembling with laughter.
"How is this my fault? You invaded my mind. What did you think you'd find there? Rainbows and sunshine?" Sakura squeaked when he pulled down her lower piece, then the sound quickly fell into a giggle. "You know very well I'm thinking about you all the time."
He paused his movements for a second, freezing completely, but then went on. "Shut up."
"The dinner wasn't that boring!"
Sasuke gave out a pained sound that firstly shocked her, but then she smacked him, and he almost ended up losing balance.
"They're your friends, how dare you?" Sakura chuckled as he struggled to break through her cheeriness by slowly kissing her down the neck.
She found his mouth and kissed him back, her thoughts diverting to the overly pleasant heat he radiated. Real heat. His skin burned against hers and she couldn't remember feeling it just then, in her mind. The thought dispersed when their bodies met again, a little too abruptly, but she welcomed it with a moan on her lips. The desire was aggravating already.
It was muddling her mind when he ground against her slowly and his whole body was driving against hers, and she had to curve and align to him, bend and writhe around him, and when he moved again, to realign and contort until it pleased him too. The way the cycle repeated secondly and minutely, was bittersweet and it reminded her of… of her life, really. The process was closely reminiscent of what she's been doing for years since her youth. Arching and coiling, orbiting around him all this time, just to make him happy. It was the greatest struggle of all she's had and she won.
"So you trying new techniques with your eyes because you're bored as hell isn't bad, but my mental imagery turning you on is, huh?" She rasped against his ear, a shudder of a chuckle coursing through her.
Instead of replying, he hummed absent-mindedly and then shifted to a strange angle, his temple was just barely touching her forehead. The bubble of amusement almost dissipated with yet another heatwave that struck her when she realized he was listening to her laugh. The silence renewed when she calmed down.
"Are you alright, dear?" she heard herself say because it's been a few seconds and he hadn't moved at all.
A quiet tick of a clock resonated somewhere in the room and it distracted her. It's been a long time since they had peace and quiet like that. She could always feel when he was sad, but he wasn't now, he was just overthinking something. As opposed to her, who didn't stop to think about anything tonight. She had given in to her senses tonight. Not many days in her life she could afford it, with all the responsibilities, but whenever Sasuke was home she could afford to lean on him. Everything suddenly felt easier when he was around like the weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was high on joy.
"It's not the same," Sasuke exhaled, indefinitely and with a brush of disappointment to his voice, like he was speaking to himself. Then he turned to kiss her again like she was supposed to completely ignore his words.
Sakura didn't need him to explain. Her imagery was nothing more than wishful thinking coming to life. Changing the rules of reality. But it was a fantasy and she realized that she made a few mistakes by imposing certain… things on him. It was her mind, but her thoughts were controllable, it was up to her. She didn't even warn him.
"I'm sorry," she spoke against his lips, caressing his skin gently.
"I prefer this," Sasuke countered rapidly, when she tensed with remorse, "It's fine."
Sakura was quiet for a while, before wrapping her hands around his neck with a sigh, "Okay."
Sakura woke up to an empty bed in the morning, but her attention was quickly drawn to Sasuke, who was fully dressed and sitting close, on her side of the bed and in perfect silence. His expression was so full of horror that she was frightened in the beginning, but then he turned around, sensing that she was awake and she saw that he was holding a note. He gave it to her, pale and mute, making her furrow.
She sat up, pulling the sheets closer to her bare skin and pushing her hair away from her eyes. The note was in familiar handwriting.
I can't believe you guys think I am supposed to ignore all that noise and pretend it didn't happen. Next time, warn me so that I can go sleep at Chouchou's. Thanks. I'm off to the Academy and I'll come back late in the afternoon.
- Sarada
P.S. I'd love a little brother, though. Keep it up.
Sakura carefully left the note on the sheets and pulled them all over her head because she didn't plan to laugh out of this for at least an hour. Just when she thought she'd gotten over it, tears of exhilaration in her eyes, she found Sasuke still sitting next to her in solemn silence and watching her.
"Do you want to come back to bed?" Sakura reached for his sleeve and tugged at it. He blushed and looked away.
Of course he did.
A/N: Since I have a reason to celebrate these days, I decided to write something that would make me happy. Hope it'd make you happy too. My SasuSaku fanfics are always so sad and depressing lol, I thought I'd change the mood a bit. I like to think that Sasuke talks most when he's with Sakura and she, in turn, loves it a little too much.
