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DISCLAIMER: Boku no Hero Academia is not owned by me but by Kohei Horikoshi, Bones studio, and Shonen Jump. Please support the official series
Chapter 1
Settling Into The Office
As the skeletal All Might steps in and takes a seat, he introduces himself.
All Might, Former Pro Number 1 Pro Hero, Age 52:
"I am Toshinori Yagi, the CEO Head of this company or as most will say, the boss here. Though I guess most people will still be referring to me by my… *sighs* hero name All Might."
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Deku, Young Pro Hero, Age 19:
"My name is Human Resources! I mean uh, can we do another take?"
"… No? I should just keep go- ok. I guess it's fine since most of this isn't really for the public to see but for the program."
He would take a moment to take a deep breath before starting over.
"My name is Izuku Midoriya and I'm the head of Human Resources. Though I'm fine if you called me my hero Deku."
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Interviewer: "So what made you consider doing this entire crazy plan?"
All Might: "It's like what I said during the interview, I realized the flaw my previous methods were and wanted to change the cycle. It was of course due to the excellent advice of my former student Midoriya that opened my eyes. We probably wouldn't have been here without him."
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Izuku: "Now you're all probably wondering why did I decide to use my influences and connections with All Might to essentially cheat the justice system so that instead of imprisoning and reasonably executing the group that tried to destroy the world...multiple times, they'll be instead forced into community service at an office."
"It's the same reason why I keep on breaking the bones in my body, because it's what a true hero does."
…
"What?"
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All Might: "I do sometimes worry about his intentions behind certain actions, he can sometimes be a bit fanatical or go overboard with his ideas. But I guess that's how he manage to become the head of the HR department at age 19."
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Deku: "There were some, ah, hoops to jump."
Cut to, Deku stepping up on stage as he accepts his certifications as he had graduated 2 years early from UA High School along with Mirio and the rest of the Third Year Class.
"Like… a lot of hoops to jump through"
Deku was now stepping on stage to accept his degree after graduating college, his very obvious younger appearance to everyone else bewildered most.
"I'm honestly surprise I got away with it, but I guess when the most famous and respected person alive is in your corner giving recommendations they let you do anything. Which makes me wonder and worry about the current state of society but one issue at a time, I think it was all worth it in the end."
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Inko Midoriya, Deku's Mother, Age 44:
"Now normally most mothers would probably stop their son from graduating early just to help make the justice system allow literal serial killers to roam free with an office job when the job market is struggling as it is. But my eyes were filled with tears of joy after hearing he was graduating to properly read when he ask me to sign the papers to allow him to follow whatever plan he and All Might came up with. By the time I realized it he was halfway through college."
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Deku: "I'm not sure how we manage to convince my Mom to go through with it, I guess the speech All Might gave her really got to her because she was in complete tears the entire time. She would later have some concerns about the entire thing but I manage to assure her when I graduated college."
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Inko: "I'm still questioning how he did that within the span of a single semester while...also keeping with some hero duties. There's a possible chance he might've cheated."
"But I guess that no longer matters apparently despite the absurdity. He's 19 so I no longer have any direct control over him, so as a mother the best I can do is hope he make the best decisions and assist him whenever I can."
"It's not so bad though, it's just my one and only son working an office job…with a bunch of convicted serial killers...that have tried to directly MURDER him before."
Her body will begin to shake rapidly.
Interviewer: "You ok?"
"I'm fine!" She would declare while holding back a tear, trying desperately to not freak out.
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All Might: "Our Company's name is the Corporation of Hero Inspired Products and Sale, the name was Midoriya's idea and I didn't have the heart to turn it down.
"Despite all the trouble that it took to get here, I'm looking forward to seeing how this all goes. I mean I'll be lying if I said at the beginning a bit of this idea wasn't a bit selfish on my part, but now we actually have a chance to change society worldwide. When I retired I thought I was going to be resigned to only teaching the next generations to be great heroes to help society, but now I can directly help as well"
"... Just in a weird way. At an office, with villains."
"I have complete confidence that I'll get through it, I just have no idea how."
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"Dabi, Dabi!" A voice shouted from the kitchen.
Dabi who just finished setting his box down onto his desk looked in the direction of the voice, "What do you want old man?"
Stepping out of the kitchen, the blind notorious All for One showed his face, "Where's the coffee?"
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All For One, Former Crime Boss of Terror, Age 100+:
"Oh hello there, glad to meet ya I'm All For One. I was once the leader of the League of Villains, but as you all may know I got beat by the grand hero that is, well was, All Might. So due to some genius idea All Might had, I'm just his Personal Assistant."
He was smiling the entire time, but with his next statement it grew even widen.
"This is going to be fun."
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"What do you mean where's the coffee? Just get it from the coffee maker." Dabi told him.
"Oh right, right," AFO replies as he goes back into the kitchen, "Uh Dabi!"
"What?" Dabi grunted, "You better not say you can't find it."
"No I see it, it's just not working?"
"What do you mean it's not working?"
"Nothing is happening, even though I'm pressing every button I see."
"Did you even plug it in?"
…
"Old Man?"
"I got it, thank you for your assistance Dabi."
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AFO: "You seemed surprised that I'm so chipper with working for my former mortal enemy. Well why wouldn't I be, not only do I get to stretch out my legs instead of being strapped to a chair, but I get another chance to annoy the hell out of All Might everyday and get paid for it! Talk about a dream job!"
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"Unbelievable, how long have you been alive and months of orientation." Dabi says, though it was in his usual tone, these words were filled with both surprise and disappointment.
"Hey in my defense I was used to having my coffee handed to me for literally over a century. It's just going to take a while getting back in shape!"
"Whatever?" Dabi replies as he leaves his office area to go back outside.
"Now how do I work this thing, there's a bunch of buttons and a screen but I don't know which does what. Is this that new voice command thing?...Dabi?" All for One called out, "Dabi!"
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Dabi, Wielder of Blue Fire, Age 29:
"They put these ankle brace on us so they can track us wherever we are," Dabi explained, lifting his leg up to show the mechanical brace attached to his leg. It wasn't super thick, in fact it was rather thin and seemed very advanced.
"They also do double duty with restraining our quirks, apparently by doing something to the extra joint in our pinkie toe. They didn't give a lot of details to us as to not give us any ideas on how to escape."
Interviewer: That's...good to know but I asked what was your role in the company.
"Oh I know, this is my answer, just letting ya know why I haven't burn you or this building to the ground...yet." He didn't even blink as he says this line.
…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AFO would once again poke his head out of the kitchen, looking for the closest person he can call. Seeing a terribly dressed, light blue hair male slouching around the office he called out to him, "Shigaraki my boy!"
Turning to his master Shigaraki would reply. "Hm?"
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Shigaraki, Former League of Villain's Boss, Age 23:
"I'm Shigaraki Tomura and I have no idea what my job is here. I was told I was suppose to be in charge of something but I wasn't paying attention when they told me, they made the mistake of giving us pad as they explained the situation to us which I promptly used the time to play games on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the villainous student and master stared at the machine in front of them, AFO would ask.
"What even is this?"
After leaning forward a bit and squinting, Shigaraki promptly remarked, "Well master, this seems to be Keurig."
"I mean that was obvious, but how do we operate it?" AFO asked, gesturing toward the machine.
"Oh, yeah I have no clue," Shigaraki shrugged.
"What how!? You're young and I heard you drank it nearly everyday."
"Kurogiri usually made it for me in a old-fashion way."
A silence soon came between the two of them, Shigaraki to have a look with no concern whatsoever while AFO seemed to hold a face containing many emotions.
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AFO: I'm so proud of him for following in my footsteps.
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"Well where is Kurogiri anyways?" AFO asked as he patted Shigaraki's shoulder, that was the most affection he should show at the moment.
"I don't know, probably off cleaning something."
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Kurogiri, League of Villain's Personal Driver, Age Unknown:
"I am Kurogiri and I'm apart of the maintenance department."
"You'll think someone with two masters degrees, one in business, would be put in a better position but instead I got put as the fucking janitor… excuse my language."
It would show how Kurogiri was currently in the bathroom mopping the floor, no one knows how it got dirty on the very day of work.
"Honestly I'm used to cleaning up after the league, the only difference now is that I only have to do it in shifts."
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As the pair were trying to get a hold on working the coffee maker, AFO would suggest something, "I think we should ask one of your friends for help."
Their attention were taking away as they spot a certain blonde walk by the door, with a statement they got the girl's attention.
"Hey Toga, you know how to work this thing?" Shigaraki asked
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Toga, League of Villain's Attractive Yandere, Age 20:
"I'm Himiko Toga, my job here is to be the adorably cute secretary and receptionist at the office. I'm so excited to be here with my savior Izuku-chan, now he has no choice but to be around me. Well not that I haven't already iron out that problem.
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As the three villains stare at the coffee maker Toga would announce, "Yeah I got nothing."
"Are you kidding me!?" AFO tells her.
"How do you not know, you didn't have a servant?" Shigaraki asked.
"I was never really a fan of coffee to begin with, the only kind I drink is Pumpkin Spice Latte, and I already bought mine from Starbucks." She would explain as she happily showed off her store brought cup, taking a moment to nuzzle it.
"Delightful little drink made from the heavens, my favorite thing to drink. Well second favorite thing to drink," She would giggle before tossing it into the trash since it was empty.
"Starbucks eh? That was the uhh," AFO would be snapping his fingers as he tried to think of what he wanted to say, "That interesting place I've heard of, where you can uuh-"
"It's a coffee shop you can get coffee from," Shigaraki told him so he'll quit his annoying snapping, "Listen Toga just help us work this thing."
"Why though, I already got the drink I want."
"Wait… isn't October almost over?"
"Yeah, and?"
"Doesn't that mean they're going to stop selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes soon?"
Upon this realization Toga would stopped dead, she's been imprisoned for so long she forgotten this terrifying cycle. Being able to taste such a delicacy she have been craving was such a god sent to her that she forgot to think of what comes next, it was way too soon for her to give it up.
"Oh my god." She would mumble, "What do I do now!"
"You know, if you learn how to make it here, you could just look up how to make it yourself online. That way everyday you can have fresh pumpkin spice latte, every. single. day."
…
"Move aside!"
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Mr. Compress, League of Villain's straight man, Age 32:
"You may call me Mr. Compress and my job is marketing, I have to use my talents to attract as many people to our business as possible."
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As was Compress was walking into the office with his own box of belongings he would soon feel a fierce grip on his shoulder before being forcefully turned around. He would look at his confronter preparing for a fight, but then see that it was actually just his co-worker Dabi.
"Oh Dabi, it's just you." He would say relieved.
"Hey listen, I think I found a way to get our ankle brace off."
With hearing this news Mr. Compress looked more concerned then happy or at least surprised.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. Compress: "So wait no matter what we say here, no one, not you, my co-workers, my boss, the people from the program, or even the government will see or acknowledge anything I do here? You even signed a contract? So what's the point of this if I may ask?"
"Mental health reasons? Well I guess having a platform where we can freely express ourselves isn't too bad...alright fine I'll bite I guess, what's the worst that can happen."
"It's not as though I don't trust the Dabi or the League, no I care for all of them. I just don't trust them to make sensible decisions in these kinds of situations, they have a record of sometimes executing plans by the seat of their pants, and Dabi is no exception to that."
"Also I'm not having too much faith in any plan of escape from him after the last one I heard he had."
He remembers it as it wasn't that long ago he saw it happen, it was around the last week of orientation. Twice and Dabi had were alone in a room, looking at their uncovered feet, and Dabi was holding a hammer.
"What if it's a bluff?" Twice would ask.
"What if it isn't?" Dabi responded
"How do we check?"
"I'll just... you know, bash bash."
"We're NOT doing that!"
"Come o~n twice"
"No!"
"You won't even feel it."
As the conversation was taking place, Mr. Compress was listening in from the highway.
"It all just feels like another half baked plan that we're going to go in thinking it was all planned out but then find out midway through that we were just going to wing it and see what happens."
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"Ye~ah," Compress would respond, looking away awkwardly, "Well anyways, be careful how hard you grab people in here. I'll hate for you to get a complaint sent to HR on our first week here."
"Whatever, I don't care," Dabi would state as he got closer to Compress, his face being only a few millimeters from his ear, "Listen, all we gotta do is-"
"Woooo watch it Dabi," Twice announce as he walks in, "I think being that close could be sexual harassment. We just start you dunce, why you trying to get reported to HR!"
"Forget about HR already, once I get this ankle brace off we can get out of here."
"Oh gre~at, I got to go set up my desk so I'm going to get back on you on that. Uh, yeah." Without another word Compress hurriedly walked off.
"You gotta be kidding me," Dabi stated looking a bit annoyed, "Oi Twice, you're still good with trying to get these off of us right?"
"Sorry, that's going to be a hard pass for me. I'm ain't doing any one of your stupid plans, my foot still hurts from the last time!"
"It would've worked if you didn't struggle so much."
"No it wouldn't you asshole!" Twice shouted at him before stomping off, "I can't believe the nerve of that man, his hair is looking pretty fresh though."
Watching the last of his teammate walk off annoyed Dabi to no end, not that he'll express it visually, "You guys gotta stop being such cowards." he called out.
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Dabi: "I don't get why they're so adamant, of course escaping this is going to include a lot of trial and error. Yes, some of them trails might end horrifically wrong but hey, no pain, no game."
Interviewer: So you're willing to put yourself in harms way to get it off?
"Oh no of course not me, I'm not stupid."
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Twice, League of Villain's literal fodder machine, Age 34:
"I'm Twice, I'm in control the companies Receiving and Sending department. Basically I make sure everyone gets their mail, and their mail is properly sent. When I'm not doing that I basically fill in for any department that needs help or is understaffed at the moment."
"I honestly find this opportunity quick good for me to go straight, fuck this place I wanna go back to killing people!"
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As the split personality villain walked into the office area he quickly greeted a familiar face, "Oh hey Magne," who happily returned the greetings as they walked by each other.
"Magne!" 4 voice shouted from the kitchen, as well as two from the hallway. AFO, Shigaraki, Toga, and new to the group Spinner all poked their heads out of the kitchen to see if they heard it correctly. Lo and behold their eyes or ears didn't deceive them, standing there in the office was a living Magne in one piece.
"Hey there party people, did you miss me?" Magne says with a smile.
"You're alive!" Toga shouts, regardless of being completely bewildered she dashed toward her to give her a hug. Last she saw of her, she was literally everywhere.
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Magne, League of Villain's Diversity Hire, Age 41:
"Now I was surprised too when I found out that the government was not only hiding a person with a quirk to bring back an exploded corpse back to life, but was willing to use it for me of all people just to work an office job."
"Honestly I missed being alive, it'll be a nice change of pace to be able to properly provide for my partner legally. Though they did say I might suffer some possible temporary memory lost...and brain damage."
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"Oh you guys didn't know?" Twice asked turning back.
"NO!"
"Oh, well ya they brought her back for this. I guess they only let me know so I can fill her in since we were the closest." Twice explained before walking off.
"Regardless that's great news," Compress states entering the scene, he overheard everything, "But how-"
"Save the questions for later, Magne you know how to work a Coffee machine." Shigaraki asked
Magne would shake her head, "Sorry hun, I learned how unhealthy coffee is back in high school from my now partner and I swore to never drink it for the rest of my life…...and I'm picking it back up now."
"Wait you guys can't work a coffee maker?" Compressed asked them, amazed on this revelation, "I can salvage a reason for most of you, but Spinner?"
Spinner silently replied, "I heard that Stain never needed coffee to commit to his conviction and I was trying to copy that."
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Spinner, Stain's Hypeman, Age 24:
"They call me Spinner, and I work Customer Service."
"But I won't let that distract me from my true purpose, I exist to spread the ideal of Stain about being a true hero."
"So what if that means I never learned how to do simple things like use a coffee maker, never needed it I was a NEET. So what if it meant I had to attempt to slaughter a couple of children, their fault for being fake heroes. So what if I'm now only recognized as that mutant that was apart of the group that tried to murder kids, I was already discriminated before for just my looks. So what-"
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As Compress was making his way over to the kitchen he would just shake his head, "I swear you guys find new ways to amaze me."
"I don't tell you how to live your life." Spinner mumbled
"Actually you do, that's what spreading a manifesto is," Compress replied, "Just give me a second I'll be right there."
"Hurray!" Toga cheered.
"Finally." Shigaraki exhaled.
"I don't know why it was so hard to find someone who can work a Keurig." AFO states.
That was when suddenly Compress stopped in his tracks, frozen solid. This drew looks of confusion from the group as they stare at each other for what seems like hours. That was until Shigaraki broke the silence.
"Please don't tell us you don't know how to work a Keurig."
…
Compress would just walk away without any word.
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Compress: "Before I became a villain I had a part-time job at a coffee shop…"
…
"It didn't end well."
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"You gotta be kidding me," AFO exclaim, "What kind of rag tag group did you get yourself my boy, none of them can use a freaking coffee maker!?"
"You're so lucky I'm too low on caffeine to properly reply to that," Shigaraki hissed back, "Right now, I just want my cup of joe, so I can go play Steam games."
"Wait don't we have to work?" Spinner questioned.
"I don't even know what my job is."
That was when Toga suddenly yelp, drawing the attention of the rest of the League "Ah!"
"What?"
"We just need the person whose job it was to be good with machines!" Toga exclaimed
"Oh you mean the IT guy?" Spinner told them.
"Yes him! Whose our IT technician?" AFO ask.
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AFO: So apparently Dabi is our IT technician, surprisingly he's quite knowledgeable with technology. Don't know why he never put it in his resume.
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"Never mind we can do it ourselves." AFO states.
"What, why?" Spinner asked.
"Because he's being stubborn this morning and I don't have my coffee to deal with it," AFO he tells them, he slowly step toward the coffee maker as if he was preparing for the ultimate showdown, "Now stand back, I'm just going to just press buttons and see what happens."
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AFO: I did consider the possibility of asking Twice for help but I'm not trusting him with anything after what he did. I can handle some petty machine, I was the crime boss of the entire underworld at one point. If I actually put effort into it I can easily do it by myself.
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Dabi was currently asleep at his desk, after spending an entire night trying to find a way to get out of his ankle brace, and getting denied any help from his co-worker, he decided to use the time to catch up on his sleep. That was until AFO quickly approach him
"Dabi, Dabi help! Wake up the Keurigs SCREAMING AT US!"
The shout seemed to have awoken the villain as his eyes slowly opened, still half awake he would grumble, "I-it's...what?"
"The Keurig, it's threatening us!" AFO exclaims.
As Dabi rose up, he would rub his eyes, giving a responding yawn, "You guys are still at it? Wait, how can a machine threaten you?"
In the kitchen Toga was slowly approaching the Coffee Maker, the league inching closer behind her as well for emotional support. When it was within range Toga would lift a finger, pressing one of the buttons slightly, but contact awoken the beast. Roaring in such a matter that it caused the rest of the League to jump back in fear, taking up battle stances in case of an impending assault from the machine.
"I don't know and now everyone is too scared to find out how it works. Just come help." AFO would tell him, if only he had the authority to command him.
Before Dabi would respond another voice would entered, it was Midoriya's.
"H-hey...guys, All Might wants us a meeting, A-all For One he wants you to gather all the office workers there." He announces before giving them both a very long and awkward stare before walking off quickly.
"Save by the bell." Dabi claims as he got up.
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Deku: "It's going to take a while getting used to seeing the League as...Co-workers. Not that I have anything against them, it's just the thought of how many times they've tried to kill me that's affecting me."
"But I guess after a few months of working together with them it'll eventually go away, how bad can they be to work with?"
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With most of the League in the meeting room they were awaiting the final member to arrive, while they were waiting they would be chatting with each other about their day, and other banters. That was until Kurogiri enters followed by AFO, closing the door behind him AFO would announce to his boss.
"That's the last of them ol' buddy ol' pal sir, please take the grand stage." his tone was obviously in a taunting manner.
All Might had to hold back the wide array of words he wanted to say to him, but he knew that's what AFO wanted from him. So instead he took a large breath as he begins.
"Welcome everyone to the first day of this company."
"Hello~!" Nejire Hado cheered.
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Nejire Hado, Lovable Airhead UA Graduated, 21:
"Hey hey I'm Nejire Hado and I'm the…"
"I don't think I was assigned anything, wait why was I here again? What is this place?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Might: Our purpose? It's how the name implies. We work with many businesses as well as pro-heroes with the production of hero branded ideas, products, and other such content. It's a very diverse and varied company which is good because it allows us to always be flexible to the kinds of work we do, so in case one method doesn't work out we can always change to another.
"But I have faith we won't be needing it that often after we get our foot through the door and find our strengths."
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"I hope you all manage to unpack your belong and got started on your tasks?"
"Actually I haven't finish setting up my desk," Toga announced.
"Wait you haven't?" Izuku say stunned
"Sorry Izuku-chan, I got caught up in something." She would explain to him, it was hard to know if she was actually apologetic since she was always smiling.
"I didn't either, sorry." Spinner states as well.
"Wh- who didn't finish unpacking?" All Might would ask the group, "Show of hands."
Izuku didn't believe in his life he saw All Might have a face of utter confusion when he saw almost everyone, except Kurogiri, raise their hands. Kurogiri was a janitor so it wasn't like he really had a desk to unpack in the first place
"Why~!?" All Might ask, his voice almost cracking from speaking.
"I was napping." Dabi says.
"I'm sorry, I was just being too indecisive about how to arrange my desk." Magne told them.
"I bought the wrong marbles that had my stuff in them so I had to go back home to get the right ones." Compress states.
"It's noon," Deku tells them, "and we've been here since 8 am."
"I didn't even know we had work to do after unpacking." Shigaraki mumbled, "I planned on just playing TF2 all day."
"Most of us got caught up trying to get the coffee maker to work." Spinner would explained.
All Might shutters as he tries to clarify the situation, "I-I'm...I'm sorry, what? The coffee maker?"
AFO would say in defense of his colleagues, "Don't take that tone with us, this wouldn't have been an issue if Dabi did his job!" Causing the rest of the group to stare at Dabi.
It took a minute for Dabi to realize the current air of the room as he calmly says, "Ignoring the fact that several people in this office can't work a fucking coffee maker or think it's the IT guy's job to deal with it, don't you have like a million quirks at your disposal? You don't have even one that can do something like help you understand how technology works?"
"That blasted machine counters all the ones I'm allowed to use!" AFO shouted.
"Oh My God, I made this guy my assistant." All Might mutters to himself as he was truly rethinking a lot of his life decisions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AFO: It's pretty insane how life goes, one moment you're fighting for your life against your greatest enemy. Next moment, the guy whose organs you ripped is now your boss." He would chuckle at the idea.
"Me and my WONDERFUL boss have a literal record of trying to kill each other, ain't that some shit right All Might? I'm sorry I mean, Boss Might!?" He would make sure to give an extra smug grin at this statement.
All Might who was sitting right next to him was just staring off into space, as if he's in deep thought about something.
All Might: "I spent decades trying to defeat him once and for all, but apparently all I needed to do was throw a coffee maker at him and ask him what coins are."
AFO: "What's a coins?"
His only answer was All Might putting his hands on his forehead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't act like you're so perfect, you made our company name CHIPS." Dabi pointed out.
"Yeah why are we named CHIPS?" Shigaraki questioned.
All Might looked confused, "We're not named CHIPS, we're the Corporation of Hero Inspired Products and Sake."
"That's still CHIPS," Compress told them.
Toga would count the words on her fingers before saying, "Yeah the abbreviation spells CHIPS."
Spinner supported her statement, "I got that as well."
"Yeah it's CHIPS hun." Magne added.
All Might would stay silent for a while as he thinks it over, "Crap it is CHIPS."
AFO would comment, "That sounds like some bootleg company name they'll put in a children's TV show."
"It's a worst name then how Twice's dentist is named Crentist," Dabi grumbled.
"Who's the dumbass who came up with that name?" Twice would ask.
All Might wouldn't answer, Deku had already turned his head away from guilt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deku: …
…..
…..
Sniff
"It's a work in progress to do better with name."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright that's enough ragging about the name," All Might stepped in, hoping to salvage some amount of Midoriya's self-confidence, "It's fine, it's the first day. Everyone just, finish unpacking and get started on something."
Shigaraki would asked, "What about the coffee machine? I can't gam- 'work' efficiently without some."
"No worries, our flawless CEO would surely just lead us on how to do it." AFO would taunt.
All Might waving everyone out the room, already exhausted told them, "Fine, I'll be there in a few minutes."
With the League leaving the room, Toga would blow a kiss to Izuku, Shigaraki would be talking to Spinner and Nejire about how to execute a tech he found online, AFO would head to the kitchen smiling with his efforts of annoying All Might, Compress was asking Twice if his dentist name was actually crentist, and the rest returned to their desk to finish unpacking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RVC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Might:...
Deku: …
All Might: I guess it was obvious it wasn't going to be easy.
Deku: I thought the hardest part was getting them to work out of them flat out refusing to work, I didn't expect this.
All Might: We just gotta push through the headaches young Midoriya.
Deku: Y-yeah… let's do it.
All Might & Deku: PLUS ULTRA!
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Suddenly there a scream that came from the kitchen, sighing Deku would offer himself up to go check what it was. Soon after the other employees were called into the kitchen.
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Dabi: I swear to god- wait do gods exist? I gotta ask Magne about that later. Anyways I swear to the possible existence of a god or gods, if we're not going to put in the effort to break free of these ankle brace at least let go like 15 minutes without some stupid drama happening.
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Once they gathered they would see AFO by a table, with his hand over a visibly broken coffee maker.
"Who broke it?" AFO would ask.
Izuku commented, "It's not that important i-"
AFO would cut him off midway by putting his hand in the air, "I'm not mad, I just want to know."
…
Compress would step up, "I did."
"No, no you didn't." AFO would say, shutting down Compress' attempt of self-sacrifice, "Twice?"
"What? Why me?" Twice would ask.
"You know what you did." AFO would say squinting...if he still had eyes, "Not too hard to believe you do something like this."
"You're holding that against me now!?" Twice would say, "Don't look at me, look at Shigaraki."
"What? I didn't break it." Shigaraki replied
"Huh, that's weird. How do you even know it's broken?"
"Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken."
"...suspicious."
"No it's not."
"I-if it matter," Spinner spoke up, "Probably not but, Toga was the last one who touched it."
"What? I barely even tapped it!" Toga replied,
"I don't know, you went to hug Magne maybe some of his magnetism wore off on you and fried it or something."
"That's not how my powers work Spinner!" Magne tells him.
"Like you would know, maybe after coming back you got a few new powers or something." Spinner suggest.
"Ok, ok let's not fight, I broke it let me pay for it All For One." Compress say, trying to end it quickly so they can actually get some work done.
But AFO put his foot down in getting to the bottom of it, "No, who broke it!?"
…
In the silence Shigaraki would learn toward AFO trying to whisper, "Master, Dabi have been awfully silent."
"Really?" Dabi would call out Shigaraki's attempt to frame him.
"Yes really."
"Oh my god why would I break the thing everyone wanted me to fix before I even walk into the kitchen,"
"It won't be the first thing you had flawed logic."
At that point the entire room got into arguing with each other, countless accusations was swung around, finger pointing, strawmanning, and paranoia ran rapid.
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AFO: "I broke it."
"Before the meeting I tried getting it to work one more time and it burned my hand, so I punched it.
Kurogiri: "Before making me swear to silence when I walked in on it after hearing the noise." He says standing next to him.
AFO: "On the bright side, I officially assigned you the duty of coffee maker once we get a new one. Till then I'm glad I found a replacement." He would say holding a cup from Starbucks.
Kurogiri: He would give his former boss a long stare, before grabbing his equipment and walking off grumbling, "Great."
AFO: "A shame, I haven't thank him for getting me this for me." He would look down at his cup for a moment, swirling it around.
"Anyways, I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their face and a pig's head on a stick."
He would take a moment to look back at the group arguing, turning back with a smug smile, "Good, the less chummy they are with each other the more time they'll spend bickering among each other then working. So when I'm the most efficient worker by a mile All Might would be forced to award me Employee of the Month even though I fucked with him the entire time."
"I love this job." He said as he would take a sip from his cup, pulling it back and looking down at it, "Oh that's good. Toga was right, this does taste like heaven."
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All Might would enter in with all the commotion, "Alright, alright break it up you guys, and put those away!" He commanded.
Upon his request Twice would stop mid-way putting war paint on Spinner's face after already doing his own and Magne's, begrudgingly putting it away. Toga would pout as she puts the pig head she was holding in the fridge and toss away the stick.
"Yeah guys, face painting is fun and all, but we need to get back to whatever it is we do here." Nejire would state to the group, the war paint being on her face as well but it seemed more like doodling than anything.
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Izuku: "All Might?"
All Might: "Yes young Midoriya?"
Izuku: "What is Nejire position here?"
All Might would open his mouth as if he was about to answer, but then would pause. Not speaking for a short while before going into a heavy concentration pose to think.
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"We literally wasted more time on this then it should humanly be allowed," All Might would tell them all, "We'll just label this as a workplace...whatever it's called and use the companies' budget to replace it."
"That seems reasonable, whose our accountant?" would ask.
All Might and Deku would simultaneously look at Shigaraki...it took a while for it to sink it.
Upon realizing why he was getting stared at he would clap his hands together in a 'aha' moment, "Ooo~h, so that's my job here."
END OF EPISODE 1
((Thanks for reading, don't forget to follow the story if it interest you and leave a review to tell me what you think of the chapter. Also yes, this is heavily inspired by The Office and other Office like shows.))