Hey! Gang! G King here! Brining in another chapter for my Gravity Falls story that is possibly the longest one I've done so far. Just note, it will be in my own version.
Either way, Enjoy! :)
Chapter 3
Headehunters
At the moment it was another day in Gravity Falls with the Mystery Shack coming into view. Inside Adam was sitting on Stan's recliner with a bored expression watching TV with the twins who were eating popcorn while Mabel was sowing another sweater at the same time.
" I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir " A constable said from the show. Mabel reaches for some popcorn but Dipper slaps it away. " My men have examined the evidence, and this was clearly an accident. " The contstable said as it shows a corpse of a man inside of tollbooth with his limbs hanging out as a duck wearing a detective hat come up.
" Accident, contstable or is it... " The duck paused and turned around looking at the screen dramatically. " Murder?! "
" What?! " The Constable exclaimed in shock and surprise.
" Duck-tective will return after these messages. " The tv said.
" Boooooo! That was terrible. " The blonde commented and looked down to Mabel to see she had a look of amazement in her eyes dropping her needles.
" That duck is a genius " She exclaimed putting her hands on her cheeks in awe eyes sparkling away.
" Eh, it's easier to find clues when your that close to the ground " Dipper commented.
" Are you saying you can outwit Duck-Tective? " Mabel asked.
" Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. " Dipper returned.
" Dipper, hate to break it to ya, but it ain't that simple..." Adam said joining in on the conversation turning off the TV. " Observation is good yes, but thinking outside the box has it uses. Plus Mabel, this show is cliché, heck even Scooby Doo was better then this, not the new stuff but the classics. "
" But he's a dog, "
" And your hero's a duck. What's the difference? " Adam returned. " I also don't need to be a detective to know that, you've been eating the toothpaste again! " The teen pointed out while Mabel turned away in shame.
" It was so sparkly... " She said.
" Hey dudes! " Soos called out skidding to the entrance of the hallway holding a broom. " Your never gonna guess what I found! "
" Buried treasure! " Dipper exclaimed pumping his arms into the air.
" A dragon skeleton, " Adam exclaimed.
" Burie- " She laughed at Dipper. " Hey! I was gonna say that! " Mabel said before joking pushing him and looked to the blonde. " And really a dragon? "
" Don't judge me. Okay, buddy, show us what ya found " Adam said getting up from the recliner as they followed him into a dark and dusty hallway.
" So what happened? " Adam asked.
" Okay, so I was cleaning up when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy " Soos explained holding the broom in fright as they stopped infront of a wall with the wall paper torn off with a door nob seen.
" Time to find out what you found " Adam said as he slowly opened the door making it emit a loud creek tearing a few spider webs away. Inside of the room were many wax figures depicting many historical and fictional characters.
" Whoa! " The trio said in unison.
" It's a secret wax museum! " Dipper whispered as he shined a flashlight gazing at the figures.
" Geez, Soos you defiantly were right about it being slightly creepy... " Adam commented as he looked at a Sherlock Homes figure with Mabel and Soos. " But how comes these are all in here? "
" There so life-like! " Mabel pointed out.
" Except for that one, " Dipper said pointing to one looking like Stan that turned out to be the real person.
" Hello! " Stan greeted making the twins and Soos scream in terror while Adam was confused. " It's just me, your Grunkle Stan! " The older male said making the trio run away in terror.
" Really guys? " Adam asked face palming himself.
After that whole fiasco the lights were turned on.
" Stan? What is all this? " Adam questioned.
" I'm glad you asked that question Adam. This the Gravity Falls Wax Museum. It was one of my most popular attractions. "
" Was? " The blonde teen asked in curiosity.
" Before I forgot all about it. " Stan answered and listed them all off. " I got them all, Genghis Khan , Sherlock Homes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man? "
" I'm pretty sure that's Larry King " Adam corrected the old man. " Also, is it just me or do these things give off a creepy vibe? "
" Nope, it ain't just you " Dipper answered.
" Anyways...now for my favorite..Wax Abraham Lincoln! Right over- " He said gesturing to nothing but air much to his confusion as he looked down to see that the figure was nothing more then a puddle of melted wax. " Oh! Oh no! Oh come on! Who left the blinds open?! Wax John Wilk's Booth, I'm looking at your direction " Stan said pointing to the wax figure much to Adam's confusion.
Stan then sighed before kneeling down and dapped his finger into the melted wax puddle. " How do you fix a wax figure?
" Cheer up Grunkle Stan, " Mabel said trying to brighten up his mood and leaned into his right shoulder. " Where's that smile?
" Egh. "
" Beep, bop, boop! " She then jabbed her finger into his face hitting his cheek and right eye in the process.
" Ow, " The old man said not wanting anymore of it and stood up.
" Don't worry Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax. " Mabel told him.
" You really think you can make one of these puppies? " Stan asked a little bit surprised with a hint of small doubt in his voice making Mabel put her hands behind her back.
" Grunkle Stan, I am an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm? " Mabel asked holding up her arm showing a glue gun stuck on the sweater's sleeve with other parts from her 'past projects'. She tried shaking it off but failed.
" I like your gumption kid " Stan exclaimed pointing at her.
" I have no idea what that means but thank you! "
XXXXXXX
It now shows Mabel in a room with a huge block made out of Wax Abraham Lincolns puddle with Adam coming in with Dipper.
" So? " The blonde asked. " Any ideas? " Curious to know what Mabel had in mind.
" Yeah totally! " The little brown head said jumping down and showed them her picture. " What do you think of my wax figure idea? " She showed them a drawing showing a female princess holding a wand and much to Adam's disbelief had a horses head sticking out of her stomach. " She's part fairy princess and part horse fairy princess."
" Uhh... " Adam couldn't come up with any words with Dipper doing it instead. " M-Maybe you should carve something from real life. "
" Like a waffle with big arms! " She said now showing another drawing off a waffle with an angry face with two muscular arms making Adam laugh. " Hehe. That's actually pretty funny. But, Mabel I think you should carve someone from your family? Or just something else from real life? "
" Kids! " Stan called out getting their attention coming into the room wearing no pants only her drawers. " Have you seen my pants? " He asked standing on a brief case with a light shining down onto him making Mabel's eyes grow big with excitement showing her imagination was working.
" Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways " Mabel said dreamingly turning around.
" Why is your sister talking to the ceiling? " Stan asked.
" One of those moment's of inspiration " The blond answered. " Well, time to get to work. " Adam said before busting out a mix tape and placed it into a Walkman strapping it around his waist.
" You have a walk man? " Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.
" Don't judge me. It's not like a have an IPod you know. " He returned before pressing a button making some music.
(Music Que, Another Brick in the Wall (We don't need no Education, By Pink Floyd.)
Mabel began her work montage on carving a wax figure by first busting out her crafting tools and slapped some goggles on.
With Adam beside her they began to carve into the wax block chipping it into what the she wanted it to be.
Minutes passed by soon turning into hours as the two continued to work away. Once the process of chipping away was done they felt tired drinking from water bottles and splashed water onto their faces.
Mabel then started painting away while tasting it for some odd reason with Adam adding in the details for the statue.
It then shows Mabel walking in with a bucket full of glitter much to the blondes confusion as she explained the idea. He grabbed the bucket and looked to his partner who eagerly nodded her head in approval before he dumped the whole bucket.
(Music ends.)
The music ends with Mabel wiping sweat off her brow and gave Adam a high five for a job well done now finishing their work while Soos and Dipper were admiring it.
" Huh, this actually turned out really good then expected. " The blonde commented as Stan came in now wearing some pants but no shoes only socks.
" I found my pants, but now I'm missing my-" He paused noticing the statue and screamed in terror and fell onto his back crawling back in surprise as he then looked at it once again.
" What do you think? " Mabel asked looking down to him.
" I think... " Stan then made a big grin throwing his arms into the air. " The Was Museum is back in business! "
A sign is now seen reading 'WAX MUSEUM OF MYSTERY GRAND RE-OPENING! ' in front of the Mystery Shack. Much to everyone's surprise everyone in town showed up driving in with Soos acting as a velvet using corndogs as the sticking motioning them inside and taking a bite of one of them afterwards.
Meanwhile Adam was taking in admissions with Wendy taking the money with her giving out the tickets. " Thank you for coming! " Adam said to the last person who bought the last ticket and looked to Wendy. " Geez, this many people really showed up? " He asked her with a smile. " It's like the whole town came in! "
" I know right? " Wendy nodded with a smile. " He probably bribed them or something. "
" Well...he can be a bit 'convincing' " Adam pulled out a twenty dollar bill from his headband.
" Oh yeah " Wendy said busted out one of her own twenty dollar bill making the two of them laugh. These kind of moments Adam always enjoyed best kicking back and letting the good times roll when ever he could and often at time Wendy was always there with him to share those moments.
Up at the stage the twins stood next to Mabel's creation that was covered up in a tarp with Stan coming up to the stand clearing up his throat tapping the microphone making the noise hurt everyone's ears making sure it worked.
" You all know me folks, town darling 'Mr Mystery'. " He smoothed talked with a grin. " Please, ladies, control yourselves! "
Three woman stared blankly at Stan with flies all around them.
He then continued. " As you know, I always bring the fair people of this town novelties and befuddlement, the likes the world, has never known, But enough about me... " Dipper grabbed the fabric. " Behold... " His nephew pulled away the tarp revealing a wax figure of himself giving a thumbs up. " ME! "
Soos then played a keyboard making a fanfare sound and continued to mess with it. " YE-AH! Ye-Ye-Ye-Ye-Yeah! "
Not one person in the audience was impressed in the slightest. Two people gave a non excited applaud trying to be polite with another guy coughing." Now that's a buzzkill. " Adam commented making Wendy do her best to try and not laugh holding it back.
" And now a word from our very own, Mabelangelo! " Stan announced now passing the mike to his great niece.
" It's Mabel " She corrected him and walked to the edge. " Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with the help of a friend our own two hands! It's covered in our blood, sweat, tears...and other fluids. " Mabel said grossing the crowd out and making her twin brother face palm himself while Adam dropped his face into the table out of embarrassment getting a laugh from Wendy while she chuckled. " Yeah. I will now take questions. You there! "
The person she pointed out to was none other then a certain old man. " Old Man Mgucket, local kook. " He introduced himself with Adam noticing a weird looking bald guy in the background and was confused to know what he was doing. " Are the wax figures alive? And follow up question, can I survive the 'Wax Man' Uprising? "
" Umm... " She didn't know how to reply to that question but answered anyways. " Yes! "
Adam leaned to Wendy and whispered. " Nope, we gonna die. "
" Then we might as well take a few with us! " Wendy said in a dramatic tone making them laugh.
Next question! "
" Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper, Do you really think this constitutes to the wonders of the world? " He asked holding out a turkey baster as if it was a microphone.
" Your microphone is a turkey baster Toby. " Stan noted with a dead pan look.
" It certainly is- "
" Next question " Stan interrupted him.
A tan skinned woman with long brown hair stood up wearing a light blue shirt underneath a vest with a black skirt included. " Shandara Jimenez. A real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with emission to this event. " She said holding up a flyer. " Is this true? " After that was said the audience began yelling at Stan.
At the admission Stan both Wendy and Adam exchanged a nervous look. " Ooooh boy... " He exclaimed already knowing how this was gonna end.
" That was a typo, " Stan quickly responded and waved to the audience with a smile. " Goodnight everyone! " He then threw down a smoke bomb. As the crowd got more pissed off with Stan running by the table and taking the admission box with him.
The audience was now furious and began to leave the Mystery Shack with one round guy wearing a free pizza shirt in misery. One lady kicked a chair into the air sending it flying into the air with an old woman on it before grabbing another and smashing it into the ground.
" In your face! " Manly Dan cried out in furry punching one of the poles for the grand reopening sign making it crack tilting down slightly leaving everyone who worked at the Mystery Shack wide eyed with shock.
" I think that went well " Mabel said in a real positive tone leaning against the admission table.
Nighttime came to Gravity Falls with Mystery Shack now closed for the day. " Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! " Stan exclaimed over the edge of bills while the others were doing their own business. " And I owe it all to one person- " Mabel looked at him with an innocent smile hopping she would be the one but instead he motioned his hand to Wax Stan. " -this guy! "
Mabel then jokingly punched Stan in the stomach. " Ooh! Yeah, you two you little gremlin " He said before petting Mabel much to her enjoyment.
Adam cleared his throat. " Oh, yeah, and you to Adam He said and pushed Mabel away. " Now you kids wash up! We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go! Go! " Adam and the twins made their way out of the room and up the stairs leaving the old man sighing and leaned into the statue. " Kids. "
On the TV Ducktective was with the constable right near a tied up criminal. ~ Well, Ducktective, it seems you really, quacked the case. " The constable said using a terrible pun.
" Don't patronize me. " The duck quacked making Stan laugh at the TV.
" Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john! " Stan got up and looked back at the statue. " You need anything? " He got no response making him chuckle. " I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere! " He said and headed off to the bathroom.
Meanwhile in the upstairs bathroom Adam and the twins were in their Pj's brushing their teeth with Dipper standing infront of the mirror, Mabel sitting on the bath tube, while Adam stood behind Dipper.
Mabel took out her toothbrush. " Hey guys? Wanna have a toothbrush race? "
" Okay.. "
" Sure... " Both Dipper and Adam replied to Mabel's suggestion.
" No...no...Nooooo! " All at once they heard Stan scream and instantly dashed down stairs to find the old man sweating and was terrified looking down at something on the floor.
" Stan what happened?! " Adam asked.
" Wax Stan...He's been.. m-murdered! " He then gestured to the headless body of Wax Stan laying on the floor. The clock then bonged three times intensifying the traumatic scene before them.
Mabel fainted and was caught by Dipper while Adam was already dialing in 911.
In five minutes a single police car had arrived bringing in Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. The Pine's family, Adam and the two law enforcers were inside the living room examining the scene with Stan explaining what had happened.
" I get up to use the john right, and when I come back. Blammo! He's headless! "
" Me and Adam's expert handcrafting besmirched...besmiirched! " Mabel cried into her hands with Dipper comforting his twin sister.
" Who would do something like this? " Dipper questioned.
" What's your opinion Sheriff Blubs? " Durland asked his partner.
" Look, we like to help you folks...but lets face the facts. This case is unsolvable " He said before taking a sip of his coffee.
" WHAT?! " The four yelled out in disbelief at the same time.
" You take that back Sheriff Blubs! " Stan exclaimed angrily pointing at him.
" Unsolvable my ass! " Adam added glaring at them. " You guys didn't even do anything, this is bull crap! "
" He's right... " Dipper backed him up. " There must be evidence motive's, we can help if you want. "
" Yeah, he's really good " Mabel said supporting her brother. " He figured out who was eating our tin cans. "
" All signs pointed to the goat. " The boy said.
" Come on let us help! " Adam asked. " Someone could have been killed, if they really beheaded a wax figure. So the killer might strike again. " However instead of a yes or no Blubs elbowed his partner.
" Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone! " He mocked with his retarted friend adding into it.
" City boooy! Ciity booooooy! " Durland cried out.
" You are adorable! " Blubs said stunning Dipper while Adam clenched his right fist in anger.
" Adorable " The male twin asked making the cops laugh as he grit his teeth in anger.
" Look P.J's how about you leave the investigating to the grown ups, okay? " Blubs said and got a low give from Durland.
" Then how bout you start doing your jobs then dumbass " Adam retorted crossing his arms tightly.
Just as the sheriff was gonna reply the walkie talkies came on with a man speaking through. " Attention all unit's. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe into his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe! "
" It's a 24-16! " Durland exclaimed.
" Let's move! " Blubs said as the two made their way out laughing.
Adam scoffed as they left. " Can you believe this? They ain't gonna do anything about this! " The blonde exclaimed in anger. " Guy's we can let this slide, we got to do something, me and Mabel worked hard on making Wax Stan. "
" You read my mind Adam " Dipper exclaimed turning to Mabel " Mabel, you me and Adam are gonna find the jerk who did this, and get back that head! Then we'll see who's adorable. " He then sneezed in a cute way.
" Awww, you sneeze like a kitten " Mabel said with Adam doing his best to hold back his laughter.
The next morning Adam and the twins had arrived in the living room setting up the crime scene. Mabel was currently taking photo's of Wax Stan's headless body and had nailed toilet paper making it look like police tape while Dipper set up a bulletin board with the photo's of all the suspects thumbed onto it.
" Okay gang, let's get straight into business " Adam spoke up taking charge as they all gazed at the headless statue. " It's gonna be a long day, so we need started. Some one in this town was more then willing to break into the shack last night and beheaded Wax Stan. The question is...who did it, and where the head is. "
" Right, " Dipper agreed and turned to the board examing the photo's of the suspects. " There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murder could have been anyone. "
" Yeah! Even us! " Mabel exclaimed.
" I highly doubt it, but in this town...anything can be possible. What do you think Dipper? " The blonde asked the male twin who was flipping through pages of the journal.
" It's hard to say. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find out first clue.
" I don't think we'll need to wait that long... " Adam kneeled down and examined the body. " Remember how I said think outside the box? Well, this is where it comes in. First off, the head was cut clean off. "
" How can you tell? " Mabel inquired.
" A heavy instrument like a hammer, frying pan, or a crowbar would leave more damage on the body. This was done by something heavy, it made a clean cut. " Adam made a note of that. He then noticed the floor. " Hmm? Look here " Adam pointed to a set of footprints.
" foot prints in the shag carpet, " Dipper exclaimed.
" Yeah, the weird thing is that one of the foot prints has a hole in it. " He then pointed to the kitchen. " The suspect came from the kitchen... " He followed the foot prints and walked towards Wax Stan making sure his feet got onto the foot prints. " He cut the head off here, and then it leads,,," Adam paused with his eyes widening in surprise.
" What is it? " Dipper asked in concern as Adam leaned down and turned around giving him his answer. He turned around and revealed the weapon used to behead Wax Stan: an axe.
" Well Soos? Got any idea's? " Adam asked as his best friend was examining the weapon while Mabel was squinting her eyes at him.
" In my opinion. This is an axe. " He replied.
" Obviously, but we need to find out who had one. " Adam clarified.
Mabel gasped in realization. " Wait a minute...The lumberjack! "
" Of course! " The twins exclaimed looking at one another.
" He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza " Dipper exclaimed.
" Furious enough, for murder! " Mabel added.
" Hey hold on, " Wendy spoke up putting down her magazine and pointed to them with a scowl. " Are you seriously accusing my dad of murdering Wax Stan? Because he didn't. I mean, sure he can have 'anger problems'. "
" He punched a wooden pole in two. " Adam pointed out.
" Okay he has serious anger problems, but I'm telling you guy's he ain't a killer. "
" I do have to admit, she ain't wrong guys. First time I met Manly Dan I thought he was bigfoot. " Adam added before turning to her. " Look Wendy, were not accusing him of anything...yet. We just need to ask a few questions. Me and Mabel worked hard on making Wax Stan, and for someone to just do that, it ain't right. So can you please tell us where he is at least? "
Wendy though about it for a moment and sighed in defeat. " He usually hangs out in a crazy biker joint down town. "
" The Skull Fracture right? "
" Yep, that's the one " Wendy replied.
" Then that's where were going " Mabel commented.
" Dude, this is awesome you three are like the Mystery Crew. " Dipper, Mabel and Adam looked towards Soos.
" Don't call us that " Dipper said.
" What's wrong with it? I think it has a ring to it. " Adam commented before he grabbed a backpack and headed out with the twins passing by Ghompers the goat. As they continued on they walked past Stan who was struggling to pull a coffin out from the back of his car before he noticed the trio.
" Hey, give me a hand with this coffin will ya? " Stan ordered. " I'm doing a memorial service for Wax Stan, something small, but classy " He said before finally pulling out the casket and wiped off the sweat from his brow.
" Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we got a big break on the case! " Dipper said. " But we got a break in the case. "
" Break in the case! " Mabel exclaimed.
" Were heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer "
" We don't know that yet you two " Adam told them. " We got to play this smart, and figure it out as we go. "
" We have an axe! " Mabel exclaimed happily holding the weapon. " REE, REE, REE. " The girl said imitating the Pyshco movie screeching noise making Adam take it out of her hands.
Stan placed a hand on his chin and thought for a moment. " Hm, this seems the king of thing a responsible parent wouldn't you to be doing. " He said before smiling. " Good thing I'm an uncle, " He then put a leg on the coffin raising his fist into the air. " Avenge kids! AVENGE MEEE! "
" Well, guys here it is, The Skull Fracture " Adam said gesturing to biker bar that had a large thuggish dark skin male covered in many tattoos and had nose piercings. " I always avoided this place, never thought I'd be going here. "
" Got the fake Id's? " Dipper asked before Mabel passed showed them to Dipper who narrowed his eyes while Adam face palmed himself.
" No way in hell this is gonna work. "
As they made their way towards the entrance the dark skinned guard was examining an ID before returning it to it's owner. " Sorry, but we don't serve miners. " He told an actual miner.
" Daaannnnn'nab it! " The miner cursed before spitting on the road and walked away. " Eughh! " The three walked up to the man.
" Were here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of Wax Stan " Mabel said as she Dipper and Adam held up fake id's that were made from arts and crafts in under ten seconds before Mabel shook her Id making the groggily-eyes move. " Dedledle-e. "
Adam now frowned because there was no way this was gonna work but instead he was surprised to see him open the door. " Works for me. "
The teen and twins were soon meet with heavy metal music playing in the background with the sight of large men duking it out with some teeth being knocked out. The teen quickly scanned the area and spotted their suspect on the other side of the bar. He motioned the two to follow him towards Manly Dan and passed by a guy laying flat on the floor. " He's resting " Mabel said.
Adam looked to the man. " And bleeding. " Adam added and got serious. " Okay, Dipper, your with me, remember I'll do the talking. Mabel you stay here and try to blend in. " He and Adam walked off towards their suspect.
" You got it A Plus! " Mabel exclaimed before jumping onto a stool and greeted a large bearded man. " Hello fellow restaurant patron! Bap! " She patted him on the arm making the him growl menacingly.
" AAAAAGGGHH! " Manly Dan roared as he played against an arm wrestling arcade game that was most likely gonna be destroyed.
" Remember I talk, you stay quiet " The blonde whispered to Dipper who nodded and headed over to Manly Dan. " Hello sir " Adam greeted getting his attention.
" Do I know you? " Manly Dan asked still keeping a grip on the machine.
" Um, yeah. I work with your daughter at the Mystery Shack Adam Winter's? "
" Oh, right. What do you want?! " He asked keeping his grip on the game.
" Where were you last night? "
" Punchin' the clock " He responded.
" You were at work? " Dipper asked.
" No! I was punchin' that clock! " Manly Dan pointed to a broken clock outside.
" Ten o'clock, the time of the murder. " Adam noted. " Okay. Another question, have you seen this axe before? " Adam showed the weapon the murderer used.
" Listen little man! "
" I'm actually not- "
" I wouldn't pick my teeth with that axe. " Manly Dan cut him off pointing towards it. " It's left handed! I only use my right hand! The Maaanly! Hand! " He roared as he tore the metal arm off of the machine with Tyler Cutebiker running up as he watched Manly Dan use the hand to break the machine and roar in victory. " Get'im! Get'im! " He chanted enthusiastically and giggled leaving both Adam and Dipper baffled by what he said.
" Left handed... " Adam repeated looking at the axe and putted it away in his backpack.
Back with Mabel she was playing cootie catcher with the biker. " 3, 4, 5, 6 " They said as Mabel gasped making the biker look anxious covering his mouth with his hands. " You're wife is gonna be beautiful. "
The biker bumped his fist with a grin. " Yes! "
" Come on Mabel were leaving, " Adam called out walking past them.
" We got a big break in the case! " Dipper
" But will she love me?! " The biker asked desperately with Mabel quickly doing the cootie catcher.
" Yes she will! " Mabel replied as they left making him smile.
After making their way out of the bar the trio were now walking down the street.
" Well guy's, Manly Dan is off of our list, he ain't the murderer. Ontop pf that he said that the axe was left handed. "
" Which means all we need to do is find our left hand suspect " Dipper said checking in Manly Dan as a right hand. " And we got our killer. "
" Oh man! We are on fire today! " Mabel exclaimed as they stopped and made laser noises. " Pa-zow, Pa-zow Pa-zow! "
" Let's get to work guys " Adam said as they all fist bumped beginning the montage.
First up came Old Man Mgucket's junkyard with Mabel getting his attention waving over to him who waved back with his right hand that had a baby alligator biting onto it. They checked him off as right handed.
Dipper is seen with his hat turned backwards wearing a fake mustache holding a package. He knocked on the door making thee fat guy with the Free Pizza shirt come out. He handed him a clipboard and he signed it. With his right hand making Adam check him off the list before Dipper walked away.
The trio are now seen walking down the street with Mabel whistling to the angry lady getting her attention before Mabel threw a baseball. The lady caught it with her left hand and crushed it, checking her off the list.
They then knocked on another guys door that soon opened revealing he had casts on both of his arms so they crossed him off.
" Well, we went to everyone who was at the event " Adam noted as Dipper flipped through the pages. " But sheesh, there are a lot of right handed people in Gravity Falls. "
" All except for one... " Dipper spoke up as he showed the last name of the suspects Mabel and Adam. " There's only one person left on this list. "
" Of course! It all adds up! " Mabel exclaimed with excitement.
The sun had went down at Gravity Falls with Sherriff Blubs and Deputy Durland's squad car pulling up the Gravity Falls Gossiper. The two policemen got out of the car wielding their nightsticks and flashlights. " You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it! " Blubs said looking to the trio.
" The evidence is irrefutable " Dipper replied.
" What he said, " Adam added and not wanting to hear the idiot cops he got infront of the door. " Let's get this over with " He said before kicking it open breaking the some of the wood in the process letting the cops inside.
" Nobody move! This is a raid! " Blubs warned who was inside. But the only person inside was Toby Determined.
" Aaaahh! " He yelled in shock as he fell from his chair onto the floor with the lights shining onto him. " What is this? Some kind of raid?! " He asked for some odd reason.
" Dur! " Durland said as he used his night stick to smash a lamp.
" Surprise. " Adam said as he and the twins made their way towards the confused man.
" Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the Wax murder of Grunkle Stan. " Dipper told him.
" You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work " Mabel said and shared a high five with her brother.
" Gobbling Goose Feather's " Toby exclaimed as he stood up. " I don't understand! "
" Dipper, if you'd please " Adam said snapping his fingers signaling the boy to do his job.
" You were hoping Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story to save your failing newspaper. But when the show was a slop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. "
" But you were sloppy, " Adam picked up after Dipper. " and all the clues pointed straight towards a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed. "
" Toby Determined, your yesterdays news " Mabel said as she crumbled up a newspaper.
The weird looking reporter was silent for a moment till he spoke up. " Boy, your knees must be sore... From jumping to conclusions, " For some reason he did a little dance. " Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder! "
" What?! " Adam exclaimed in shock as the twins were stunned as well.
" Then where you the night of the break in? " Blubs asked making Toby suddenly nervous pulling the collar of his shirt.
Toby then inserted a VC tape into the TV rewinding it as it shows him at the closet with his hand on one of the handles. " Finally we can be alone, " Toby said in the recording pulling out a cardboard copy of the woman from the event who was the female reporter." Cardboard copy of female newsreporter Shandra Jiminez! " He then started making out with it making all kinds of noises.
" That is just messed up " Adam said shaking his head in disapproval while everyone was making their own comments.
" Timestamps confirms " Blubs said since the video was taken around the same time of the murder. " Toby, your off the hook you freak of nature. "
" Hurray! " The freak cheered.
" But-but, it has to be him! Check the axe for finger prints! " Dipper said in desperation making Adam pass the axe to the cops who examined it. " No prints at all " Blubs told them.
" No prints? How can that be?! " Adam said in disbelief.
" Hey, " Durland spoke up. " I got a headline for ya. City kids waste everyone's time " He said making his partner and Toby laugh while Dipper and Mabel were embarrassed.
" Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you three. " Toby added.
Patrick cursed to himself before he noticed the TV noticing something very disturbing. " Oh my god! He's taking off his pants! "
The trio had now returned to the Mystery Shack in shame failing to find Wax Stan's head and was now in the wax room that held the funeral for the sculpture. Stan took his spot on the podium, the coffin right beside him with the body of Wax Stan with all of the wax figures, Soos, Wendy, the twins and Adam as the audience.
" Kids, Adam, Wendy, Soos, lifeless wax figures. Thank you all for coming " Stan said making Soos blow his nose into a tissue sobbing a little. " Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself. "
" There wrong! " Soos cried out with Adam pulling him back.
" Easy Soos. " He said and looked to his replica. " Wax Stan, I hope you pick pockets in wax heaven " He said wiping a tear from his eye. " I'm sorry I got glitter in my eye! " He said now running out of the room crying into his hands.
" Ohhhhhh Duuuude... " Soos exclaimed as he ran out of the room.
" I'm sorry you guys couldn't find the head. " Wendy said getting up. " I better get home. See you guys tomorrow. "
" Bye Wendy " Adam said as she left and Dipper sighed.
" Those cops were right about me... " He said looking dejected.
" Dipper, we've come so far. We can't give up now " Mabel said holding up the axe.
" How are we gonna do that Mabel? " Adam asked now looking towards her. " Were out of leads, the trails gone cold. "
Dipper got up and walked to the coffin. " But I considered everything: The weapon, the motive, the clues. " Adam walked up to Dipper and put a hand on his shoulder.
" Even we didn't find it, the three of us tried more then those cops. " He said trying to cheer him up. " We made one heck of a good team. "
" Yeah Adams right " Mabel said now joining in making Dipper smile and noticed something about the sculptures feet.
" Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it. " He said.
" All the wax guys have that " Mabel said. " It's where their pole thingy's attach to their stand dealy. "
" What a minute... " Dippers eyes widened in shock. " What has holes in its shoes and no finger prints? " Dipper asked making Adam think before he pieced it all together. Nobody in Gravity Falls killed Wax Stan, or any person.
" Now it all coming together! " Adam said in realization looking towards the twins in fear. " The murder's are-
" Standing right behind you " A voice with a British Ascent spoke up making them all turn around to see Wax Sherlock homes standing on his own with the other Wax figures suddenly rising out of there chairs like zombies.
" Wax Sherlock Holmes?! " Adam gasped.
" Wax Shakespeare! " Mabel gasped.
" Wax Coolio? " Dipper gasped.
" Wha s'up Homes? " Said the Wax Coolio to Wax Sherlock Homes.
All the sudden Wax Lizzie Borden reached out and took back her axe from Mabel. " Oh my gosh! oh my gosh! " She said repeatedly with Adam pushing her back to Dipper and put himself in between them and the wax figures.
" Congratulations my three amateur sleuths, " Wax Homes said. " You've unburied the truth and now, were going to bury you " He said pointing his magnifying glass to the trio making them widen their eyes in fear. " Also bravo Dipper Pines, you've discovered our little secret " Wax Homes said reaching into his coat and pulled out Wax Stan's head and turned to his fellow wax figures. " Applaud everyone, applaud sarcastically. " They all applaud. " Uh, no, that sounds to sincere slow clap. " They did as they were told. " There we go. Nice and condescending. "
" This is crazy! " Adam exclaimed in shock.
" How is this possible? " Dipper asked shocked as well by what was happening. " Your made out of wax! "
" Are you...magic? " Mabel asked hoping it was the case.
" Are we magic? " Wax Homes laughed, looking back to the other Wax figures she want's to know if were magic! " He stopped laughing and slammed his fist onto the coffin startling them. " WERE CURSED! "
" Cursed! " The other figures repeated. " Cursed! "
" Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing " Wax Homes said with his back now turned to the trio.
" So...you were really trying to Stan. " Adam said much to the twins shock.
" Your rather sharp Adam Winters " Homes said in a mussed tone. " Stanford Pines bought us at a haunted garage sale, ignoring the terrible price that came with us. He stole us and soon the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day we would be the play things of man.
" But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night " Wax Coolio piped in.
" It was charmed life for us cursed beings. " Wax Homes continued. " That is...until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away, but we got the wrong guy. "
" You guys were right! Wax People are creepy! " Mabel exclaimed.
" Enough! " Wax Homes turned around to face them. " Now that you know our secret, you must...die " He said before his eyes rolled backwards with the other Wax figures doing the same making zombie like noises walking towards the trio who backed away in fear.
" What'd we do?! What'd we do?! " Mabel frantically asked frightened.
" I don't know! " Dipper answered.
" Well someone thing fast! These things got to have a weakness! " Adam exclaimed brining out his nightstick. In desperation the twins began to throw all kinds of stuff that was on the table but Wax Genghis Khan kept coming. The last thing left was the coffee so Dipper grabbed maker and splashed it onto the wax figure making him scream in pain and run off.
" Aha! That's it! There made out of wax just like a candle stick! So there body's can't stand the intense heat! Grab those candles! " Adam said with the twins nodding as they armed themselves. With the electric candles they walked forward making the wax folk back up.
" Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles! " Dipper threatened.
" Decorative candles " Mabel added.
" You really think you can defeat us? " Wax Homes questioned as he and other wax figures glared at them.
" How about we find out? " Adam responded gripping his night stick tightly.
" So be it...attack! " Wax Homes commanded making the figures charge.
Wax Lizzie Borden swung her axe at Adam but he rolled to the side smashed her arms grabbed the axe and brought it down killing the wax replica of the murder. With Mabel she sliced off Wax Robin Hood's legs making him fall before decapitating him. Wax Shakespeare towards her from behind, but she noticed and cut his hands off with the candle scarring him off. Then one of the severed arms began to strangle her. In an attempt to get it off she kept slamming a door on the fingers.
" Interview this Larry King! " Dipper said as he decapitated him making his head fly off and his body tried to find it. " My neck! My beautiful neck! " Wax Groucho then tried to grab Dipper's candle but it only ended up melted making him recoil from pain. " Jokes on you Groucho! " Dipper cut him in half.
" I heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous " The famous comedian joked. " Why is there nothing in my hand? " He asked as his body slid off before Wax Genghis Khan charged at Dipper but he ducked out of the way and into the fire place he went splashing some wax on the boy.
" Ha! Genghis Khan! You fell harder then...the uh...I don't know. Jin Dynasty? " He asked not entirely sure what history joke he was talking about.
At the same time Wendy just came in. " Hey, guy's sorry but I forgot my-What the?! " She exclaimed in shock to see the wax figures fighting her friends.
" Wendy! Look out! " Adam cried out pushing Wax Shakesphere aside and threw the axe in Wendy's direction hitting Wax Richard Nixon.
" What's happening?! " The red head asked as she grabbed the axe and blocked an attack from Wax
" The wax figures turned out to be cursed! And now there trying to kill us! " Adam quickly explained as he then knocked the replica of the rapper's head off of his body and noticed Mabel was getting surrounded. " Mabel! Catch! " The blonde called out to the girl who caught the head. She then began to spin it above her head hitting the approaching Wax Quuen Elizabeth the second, Wax Edgare Alan Poe, and Wax Shakespeare knocking them away.
" What's up with that? " The head asked.
" Dipper! Watch out! " Mabel said to her brother who was approached by Wax Homes who placed the head of Wax Stan on the horn of a rhino head.
" Alright, let's get this taken care of " He said taking a sword off the wall and swung it out of Dipper's hands making it break upon landing. Nearby Adam held Thomas Edison giving Wendy the chance to decapitate the famous inventor before he noticed the boy was in trouble.
" Dipper! " he cried out and ran forward tackling Wax Homes into the floor and landed a right hook. " Go help the others! This guy's mine! " Adam said getting a nod and helped Mabel and Wendy fight off the other wax figures. As this went on Wax Homes punched Adam off of him and glared at the teen before his sword but the blonde dodged the attack and blocked a swing from the sword with his night stick.
Adam went on the offense while Homes went on the defense making Adam go up the stairs backwards and into the attic. Then Wax Homes went on the offensive making Adam go into defense and got the blonde teen into a corner.
" Once you and the pines family are out of the way we will rule the night once again! " Homes said raising his sword.
Adam looked around and spotted the window. As Sherlock charged Adam blocked the sword and headbutted the dective sending him back giving Adam the moment he needed.. " That's ain't happening! " He said and went out the window onto the roof with the detective not far behind.
" Come back here, you delinquent " Homes ordered but the blonde didn't listen and climbed higher and onto the sign pf the Mystery Shack. Once he was up top he slightly lost his balance and regained it. His opponent had caught up and began a clash of their weapons. Adam jabbed Homes back a few feet with the detective trying to cut him down to size only for the teen to jump back causing the blade to hit the S of the sign making it drop down.
" Even if you are smart as your friend, Dipper, you really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock Bleeding Holmes! " He ranted on with Adam dropping his weapon he climbed up the sign that said Mystery. " Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous! " He said showing it off as Adam landed on the other side of the sign but do to the loose tiles being loose he slipped but caught the edge of the of the chimney and hid behind it.
Adam peeked through the corner and saw no sign of the living wax figure much to his relief. Instead his foe did a sneak attack kicking him down. " Any last words? " The detective asked raising his sword upwards.
" Just a few " Adam replied. " Do you enjoy mornings? "
" Do I-" Wax Homes stopped asking the question when drops of wax began to fell onto his shoulder. " What?! " He was shocked to see his hand was melting away causing the sword to be dropped. He looked over to the horizon and gasped in horror.
His greatest fear came into reality the sun was rising.
" No, he answered as he began to melt away while Adam stood up. " I might not have Dipper complete smarts, but there's one reason you lost. Just one reason...." He paused. "...You pissed me off. "
" Outsmarted by a child with a mystery head band?! Nooo! " Wax Homes cried out charging towards the teen who responded by landed a right hook to the face making him stumble back to the edge.
" Bop " Adam simply poked his melting forehead causing the cursed wax figure to fall off screaming as he met his end turning into a puddle of wax. The blonde looked down at the puddle, " Hmph. Like all detectives say including yourself Holmes, case closed. "
Back in the Wax Room Dipper Mabbel and Wendy defeated the remaining Wax figures and were currently disposing the solid parts into the fire place. With Wendy's help she and Dipper put Lizzie Bourdon's torso into the fire place. Once it was done Dipper wiped his hands together as he and red head high fived to a job well done.
" Any more Mabel? " Wendy asked.
" Just arms and a head " She replied brining what remained of Wax Shakespeare.
" Though our group may be left in twain, " The poet said as Mabel threw his arms into the fire. " Man of wax shall rise agayn! " Wendy grabbed his head.
" You know any limericks? " Mabel asked the head.
" Uh... " He was unsure of what to say. " There was once was a dude from Kentucky- "
" Nope! " Wendy said as she threw the head into the fireplace not minding the scream. At the same time Adam came into the room.
" Adam! Your okay! " Mabel cheered running up to the teen and hugging his leg with Wendy and Dipper walking up to him.
" Yeah, but I don't deserve all the credit. Dipper you technically solved the mystery dude " The blonde said getting the head of Wax Stan off of the rhino's horn before passing it to him.
" And I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks! " Dipper said.
" No offense Dipper, but your the sidekick " Mabel said.
" What? Say's who? Are-Are people saying that? " He asked nervously. " Have you heard that? "
" Eh who cares? " Adam asked. " We did together, and in a team there ain't no 'sidekicks' so you ain't got nothing to worry about man " Adam said to Dipper with a smile and looked to Wendy. " And how come you came back? "
" I forgot my wallet " Wendy replied and showed that she got it. " Also does weird stuff like this happen all the time to guys? "
" Ooooh yeah. Welcome to club " He joked getting a laugh from the twins with Stan now coming in eyes widened in shock and surprise at the condition the room was in.
" Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor?! "
" Your wax figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death! " Mabel explained.
" I decapitated Larry King! " Dipper said.
" I beat Sherlock Homes! " Adam added.
" And I killed Thomas Edison " Wendy added casually.
Stan stared at them for a while in silence and broke it with laughter. " Your kids and your imaginations! "
" On the bright side though, look at what we found " Dipper said tossing Wax Stan's head to their great uncle who caught it with ease.
" My head! " He exclaimed happily and laughed. " I missed this guy. You done good kids! Now line up for some affectionate noogie-ing! " Stan said but they didn't really want any of it but it didn't stop him from giving the twins noogie's laughing away. He was even gonna do Adam until they heard a police siren outside.
It turned out to be Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland outside of the window. " Solved the case yet boy? " He asked. " I'm so confidant your gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long sip of my coffee. " Blubs said and began to drink the cup.
" Hehe " Adam chuckled crossing his arms. " Dipper... "
" With pleasure. Actually the answer is yes! " Dipper replied showing the head of Wax Stan to the idiot cops.
" Blu, blu, blu- " Sheriff Blubs began to choke on his coffee before spitting it right into his partner's face. He screamed in pain and spat coffee into Blub's He screamed again and spat at Durlands face who screamed again and returned the spit.
" My eyes! " " It burns! It burns! " The two cops then drove off making the them all laugh.
" They got scalded! " Stan laughed out, as they then heard their car crash in the distance.
" More like burned " Adam laughed at their misfortune along with the four once again. After calming down he looked to the twins and his friend. " So? Did you all get rid of all the wax figures? "
" Were are ninety-nine percent sure. " Mabel replied with the blonde shrugging his shoulders.
" Works for me! (yawns) Now, I'm gonna take a nap. " Adam said leaving the room.
" Me too " Wendy added going to the counter.
Unknown to them the head of Wax Larry King still remained as he watched them all from inside the vent laughing away as he looked to the side to see a rat. " So your a rat. Tell about that, " He said before the rat bit off his ear and ran off. " Hey! Get back here! " He said and began to hop after it. " I'm hopping, I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear! "
The living room comes into view with Mabel looking in the mirror trying to decide witch sweater to wear for the day. " Hmm...Hey Dipper? " She asked. " What do you think is better? Sequence or Lama hair? " She asked and didn't know Wax Larry King's head was in the vent.
" The Lama hair. Lama's are natures greatest warriors " He said before hopping off.
" Thanks Dipper! " Mabel said making the boy confused for a moment and went back to reading on the recliner.
To be continued
Now replying to reviewers
Bloody Demon666
I'm happy to see that you were able to check out this story, and also glad to see you found something amusing out of it :)
Bobby Jenkin's.
Ah, good old Courage. I loved that cartoon to, I might have a few ideas from the show I could use, but for the moment I'm fine with sticking to the original plot,
Also...have any of you heard of something called the Steel Chair effect. Literally, all ya need to do is throw a steel chair into the air and people start fighting beating the shit out of one another. Crazy ass shit huh?
And speaking of which...spoiler alert!
I'm gonna do my own original Gravity Falls chapter that will introduce a new character that will be also be part of this story, right after I do Gideon coming into the story, so keep tuned in for the next update! :)