This chapter of sadism brought to you by the request of Sam (ft. elements from 13BlueBananas & Random Reader)

It's... a little similar to one of the other chapters, but ghreaweruied *incoherent noises*

Disclaimed.

...

Plot Hole

...

It was a perfectly lovely day.

That should have been the first clue that something was about to go horribly wrong. As someone wise once said, 'if it seems perfect, it probably sucks'. Something that Jack quickly learned the moment he touched down in the clearing before Mother Nature's castle and was swallowed up by the ground as it rumbled and cracked beneath him.

"Ow," he groaned, rubbing the spot on the back of his head that'd struck against something uncomfortably like stone. Whatever it was, it was on top of him.

"We have got to stop meeting like this," a familiar voice said, clearly highly amused.

"Lleu?" Jack guessed. Well, that explained what he'd hit… or, rather, what had hit him. It also explained why he was suddenly uncomfortably hot. Sighing, he asked, "What happened this time?"

"I believe we've fallen into a plot hole," Lleu said knowledgably, pushing himself off Jack before he could burn him any further.

"A… a what?"

"Yep, this definitely looks like a plot hole."

"A plot hole," Jack repeated.

"Well, a plot cavern, maybe. But it's obviously some kind of hole and I can't think of any other reason why we're here so… plot hole."

Silence.

"Do you have a better idea?" Lleu asked, sounding like he highly doubted it.

"It felt kind of like an earthquake or something. Maybe the ground was just unstable."

"An earthquake sent by the author."

"Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?"

"No, seriously, think about it!" Lleu chirped excitedly. Judging from the wave of hot air sent Jack's way the summer spirit had gestured widely. "All of this – our whole lives – are just part of a story and everything is dictated by the author! Obviously the author is some kind of sadist, too, if you consider everything that's happened over the years. And is currently happening right now."

"That is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. And I hang around Bunny."

"Yeah, well, you can't prove I'm wrong," Lleu said petulantly.

"And you can't prove you're right, either," Jack rebuked, wiping a thin layer of sweat from where it had accumulated on his brow.

"It's too hot in here," Lleu said, apparently having sensed the movement.

"I'm fine," Jack replied automatically. He was, for now anyway. But if he had to stay in there for too much longer he wouldn't be.

"It's going to turn into an oven in here. And I don't particularly fancy roast Jack for lunch."

Jack didn't have the heart to tell him it would probably be more like 'puddle Jack' than a roast. "We should focus on trying to find a way out of here," he said instead. "Wherever we are."

"Plot hole."

Jack ignored him.

"At least it's our off season," he felt Lleu shrug.

"Great, so the only people who'll notice we're gone are Mom and the others when we don't turn up for lunch."

"Works out pretty conveniently for a sadistic auth–"

"Will you please stop with the conspiracy theories?"

Lleu held his hands up in surrender.

Jack tried to ignore the way it was getting harder and harder to breathe as the space heated up, holding his arms out in search of an exit. He'd barely extended at all before his hand came into contact with rock and dirt. When he tried again, this time in a different direction, he quickly learned, to his horror, that they were completely surrounded by earth on all sides, leaving them with a space barely big enough for the two of them.

Suddenly feeling very claustrophobic, Jack pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them.

A loud bump, dirt tumbling from the ceiling, and a muffled curse made him jump.

"Pretty cramped in here, huh?" Lleu chuckled, but it sounded forced. "Not much room to move."

"Yeah," Jack murmured.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"No you're not."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Sorry, standard question. Maybe we can dig ourselves out," he suggested, using his hands to scrape away some of the dirt above him. Jack shuffled backwards to avoid having dirt fall on him. The last thing he needed was to add to the feeling of being buried alive. At least he still had his staff.

More and more dirt tumbled over the two of them, starting to fill up the space. When Jack found his feet partially buried in it he cried, "Stop! Stop!"

"What? What's wrong?" Lleu replied in alarm.

"I… um… it's… it's really cramped in here and…" Jack took a steadying breath. "I just don't like being stuck in small spaces." Especially underground like this. There were too many parallels with burying the dead for him to be any kind of comfortable.

"That's why I'm trying to dig us out," Lleu said slowly.

"I-I know, but with all the dirt and… it just feels like…"

"Oh. Ooooh," Lleu quickly gave up his digging and sat back down. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"You know this means we're relying on the others to get us out then, right?"

"How long could it take?" Jack shrugged, trying to be optimistic.

"We're the two who are normally late," Lleu deadpanned.

"Oh. So a while, then."

"But I don't think we have that long," Lleu said, uncharacteristically serious. "Well, I probably do…"

He didn't need to finish the sentence for Jack to know what he meant. Already he was suffering from the prolonged contact with heat. And judging by the way his cheek stung, he was starting to get a burn there. Why did these things always happen to him?

Jack leaned his head back against the dirt wall and shut his eyes. It was really getting hard to breathe and he was starting to feel tired. His stomach was protesting, too. Was this what a sauna felt like?

"Man, where is that heat-proof suit when you need it?" he heard Lleu mutter beside him.

"With the way you carried on about it I was sure you would wear it all the time," Jack chuckled quietly.

"Not much point if you're not there," Lleu replied. "Besides, it would hinder my work if I wore it all the time."

"True."

They lapsed into silence.

"Snow Cone?" Lleu called after a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Don't fall asleep."

"Tired."

"I know but you can't fall asleep."

Jack didn't reply.

Lleu bit his lip and felt around the darkness for Jack's staff to prod him with. When Jack merely grunted – not even a single complaint that he had snatched his staff – Lleu resumed trying to find an exit. But digging looked like the only option. He would just have to be careful to catch all the dirt and put it in a pile away from Jack. The kid would just have to put up with a few little bits here and there; it was worth it if he didn't melt before they got out of there.

He'd been at it for what felt like hours (but in reality may have only been a few minutes) before his hand struck something hard and he cursed.

Rocks.

That was probably why the cavern hadn't collapsed on them when they'd fallen in. But as it was, he wouldn't be able to move them alone, especially with however much dirt was sitting on top of them. If he tried, there was a huge chance they'd fall and the two of them would be crushed.

They were stuck.

"If there really is an author who controls everything, I could really use your help right about now," he muttered.

Lleu sat back down with a huff. "Sorry, Jack," he whispered. "I tried."

...

...

Dirt trickling down into Lleu's face had him springing up, only for the slight increase in height to make him hit his head on the ceiling. Staring upwards he could see nothing through the all-consuming darkness, but there was definitely dirt falling.

"Snow Cone?" he called, part of him hoping it was Jack's doing. There was no answer, though, and a quick feel around confirmed the boy was still exactly where he had been however long ago. Unconscious and unmoving.

But dirt was still tumbling, so something had to be unsettling it. Lleu really hoped it wasn't just the rocks shifting under the weight of so much earth.

"Hello?!" he called. "Is someone there?!"

The dirt started falling at a faster pace. Lleu moved so he was protecting Jack from the majority of it. Even if he was unconscious, he didn't want the kid to feel like he was being buried alive.

The sound of rocks scraping sent a surge of hope through the summer spirit so strong Bunnymund could probably feel it all the way in Australia. (If that got his attention, Lleu probably should have exploited it ages ago and had the rabbit dig them out.)

After what felt like a century of waiting, one of the big rocks directly above them was nudged and moved upwards. A torrent of dirt, loosened by the removal, rained down over them as blinding light poured in.

"Lleu?!" a beautifully familiar voice shouted in concern.

"Yeah, I'm here," he coughed, shaking the soil from his clothes. "Jack's here, too. I can fly up but he's out… hot, I suppose."

The air that swelled in from the surface made him shiver after so long in the heat, but it was probably the most soothing thing Jack had felt all day.

"You come on up, then, and I'll grab him," Mother Nature replied.

Lleu nodded, not that she'd see it, and let his long-time friend swoop him up out of the ground. His feet had barely touched grass before he was swept into a deep embrace.

"Are you alright?" Mother Nature asked, tightening her grip.

"Fine," Lleu replied, smiling at a concerned May and a blank-faced Ceres behind her. "Jack's not, though."

"Right, yes," Mother said hastily, releasing him. She made no further comment as she jumped down into the hole.

"How long did it take you guys to notice?" he asked the girls.

"We thought you were just running late at first, until we realised it was both of you," May said apologetically.

"Which was…?"

"About an hour."

"Nice."

"Well if you were on time more often we wouldn't have taken so long," Ceres huffed.

"It's nice to see you too."

"How is he?" May asked, drawing their attention to Mother, who had Jack cradled to her chest as she emerged from the gaping hole in the ground.

"Severely overheated," she replied. "But he should be fine as soon as we cool him off and get some water into him." She started walking back towards the castle, not sparing the destruction of her lawn a second glance. The others fell into step behind her.

"I'm still confused about why your lawn tried to eat us," Lleu remarked. His eyes fell on their destination. "Oh."

...

...

"So it turns out you were right all along, Snow Cone," Lleu admitted as he finished his tale, reclining back in his chair across the room. "It was an earthquake and the ground was unstable."

"I told you your conspiracy theory was ridiculous," Jack smirked around the rim of a glass of water. He'd woken up a little while ago and, after being squeezed within an inch of his life by Mom, was now seated up in bed, the room covered in ice courtesy of said Mom.

"Still kind of suspicious that there was an earthquake right when we landed, though."

"You just told me it was Mom reacting badly to finding out the sprites had completely destroyed all the lunch preparations ten minutes before we were supposed to arrive. The front of the castle is destroyed. What further proof do you need?"

"Still suspicious."

Jack shook his head in fond exasperation. "We're not stuck in a story, Lleu."

"What if that's just what the author wants you to believe?"

"I give up. Believe what you want."

"I will."

Guest Review Responses:

Ivory: Naaaaaaaaw ^/^ You flatter me. Hahaha as long as you didn't hurt yourself XD

Shamangirl1: Thank you!