So yeah, I decided to skip the party, cause quite frankly, it never really appealed to me as much, and wasn't that all exciting. I was gonna do it, but

Chapter 9

Irrational Treasure

In the recent amount of days me and the Twins joined Wendy and her friends to hang out at the condemned and haunted Dusk 2 Dawn convenience store, that did turn out to be haunted, and that previous day, Dipper developed a crush on her.

Heck, when we last talked she told me that the dance Dipper did to free everyone was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. But after that night, and me replacing the broken window Stan smashed with the tv. Afterwards Mabel got bit by a Weremole, and we managed to cure her, thank goodness.

But then after that I caught a cold, pretty sure the flu.

It was so bad that I had to skip out on the party that Stan used to get the younger people to give him money. Not to mention Dipper tried to use it as an attempt to get closer to Wendy, all while following a written plan instead of actually talking to her. To matters even worse, that piece of crap copying machine turned out capable of printing human being clones.

Now I'm all better, I wonder what the heck will happen next?

As of right now the Stanmobile is stuck in traffic downtown with the cars owner getting irritated and honked the horn. The twins were in the backseat munching on their own bags of chips while Adam was up front eating a bag of gummy worms growing irritated as well.

" Geez, what is the hold up? " The blonde asked

" Adam Look! " He turns to see Mabel having nacho's as earrings. " Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious! "

" That's debatable. " Stan agreed and continued to honk the horn. " Aw,come on! What's with all this traffic? " He leans forward and squints his eyes. " And why is it all... Covered wagons? " It was true their was a covered wagon being pulled by a horse with a family waving over to them. Seeing this Stan began to panic like the twins and Adam had never seen him do before.

" Oh no! No! No! " He quickly looked left and right to see more wagons on both sides of the car. He quickly pushes the lever forward, hit the gas and made a screeching turn down another road. " Not today! Not today! "

" Stan look out! " Adam screamed in fear pointing to a few woman ahead. The old man quickly hits the brakes to a screeching halt before he could run them over. Naturally the woman were afraid, but they saw how they were carrying baskets full of apples and wearing old looking clothing.

He then began to drive the car backwards

" Grunkle Stan what is going on? " Dipper asked as he and his sister were just as freaked out as Adam was.

" We got to get out of here! Before it's too late! " Stan exclaimed and looked over his shoulder to see what was happening. He suddenly screeched the car screeching stop. He looked all around to see that there were covered wagons circling all around them. " They've circled the wagons! Were trapped! Nnnooooooo! "

While Dipper and Adam were absorbing what the heck just happened Mabel heard a cowbell tinkling. She turned over to the window to see a cow with big cute eyes starring at her. " I got a good feeling about today. " Mabel told everyone.

" When don't you? " Adam asked.

Now inserting Gravity Falls opening theme music

We first see a view of trees with a water fall in the distance followed by the gas station that has the large wooden lumber jack near it before we see the Gravity Falls water tower.

Before long we see a Speedy Beaver bus drive off dropping the twins in front of the Mystery Shack with Stan appearing like a magician and motions over to the building as the S of the building falls off.

Adam now comes into view giving the twins the tour showing off different attractions before it shows the trio with Stan out in the rain examining a bigfoot footprint that's inside of an even larger footprint.

A brief forest trail is shown in speed motion with bigfoot running through as it shows the weather vane on the mystery shack that has a question mark and four letters, w,h,a & t spelling out: What?

DIPPER

We see the boy holding onto a candle holder using it to examine some strange symbols in some kind of cave before turning around and was frightened to see a demon skeleton causing him to drop the candle.

MABEL

The female pine twin is rubbing her cheek against a pig for some reason before it shows her wearing a sweater that illuminated thanks to being plugged into an outlet.

STAN

The twins great uncle is shown running while holding onto a cash register not caring if money is flying out of it before it shows him sitting on his recliner and shifts his eyepatch over to the other eye.

ADAM

The blonde is seen reading books about the supernatural before it shows him smiling giving an 'okay' sign while holding a magnifying glass in the other hand.

As it begins to end we see the Stan telling everyone a spooky story around a campfire with Soos, Mabel and Dipper buying into it while Wendy nudges Adam with her elbow and rolls her eyes as their unaware that massive bat is seen watching them.

We see Wendy at the counter near the cash register with a glass jar full of eyeballs looking at the viewers, followed by Dipper examining the symbols in the journal while Adam is seen with a pair of eyes right behind him. Then finally we see Adam and the twins minding their own business before everything suddenly begins to float making the Dipper and Adam exchange a quick glance at one another.

Finally we see multiple photo's fall until it shows a picture the main Mystery Shack crew posing in front of a tree with a hole in it with Adam seen kneeling down with his arms right over the twins shoulders before we see the main title.

Theme end

After the wagons stopped circling everyone had gotten out of the car, and Adam accompanied the twins as they looked around in wonder at the old fashioned main street.

" Man, look at the town. " Dipper said before they stopped pulling out a postcard, showing the Gravity Falls in the modern days. When he took it down everything looked brown and white like in an old school movie. But it was just a pane of dirty glass being carried by two workers.

" Dirty glass! " Said one worker carrying one of the ends of the panel. They walked by and all the colors returned back to normal. " We got dirty glass! Dirty glass! "

" Ooooh. So this is what Stan was freaking over about. " The blonde said now remembering.

" Yeah, it's Pioneer Day. " Stan grumbled as he walked over and stood along side them. " Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded. "

" Welcome to 1863! " Toby Determined walked up to them dressed up like a paper boy holding out a newspaper.

" I will break you, little man! " Stan said in a threatening manner raising one of sleeves holding up a fist meaning he wasn't joking scarring the gossiper off and crashed into a barrel.

" Wow, look! Candle dipping! " Mabel exclaimed pointing over to a few woman dipping candles the old fashioned way.

" Whoa! Gold panning! " Dipper pointed out to the said activity with Old Man Mgucket doing it as well while saying "Gold".

" Hey check it out they also got a wedding. " Adam pointed out to a bunch of people gathered around including Ghompers the goat for some reason. And the bizarre thing was that there wasn't a woman near the man, but instead a woodpecker?

" I now pronounce you man and wife. " The priest said with the woodpecker pecking her 'husbands' hand. " I do! " The man proclaimed.

" What chu talking about? " Mabel deadpanned while Adam and Dipper stared at the man.

" Yeah, that has to got to be illegal! " Adam added.

" Oh, yeah, I remember this. " Dipper spoke up and brought out the journal. He flipped through the pages till he found what he was looking for. " In Gravity Falls, it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. "

" Oh, it's still legal. " The woodpecker guy overheard them talk and walked over to them. " Very legal. " He said looking over to his 'new wife' placing a hand on his shoulder where the woodpecker was perched and walked away.

" WHO IN THE HELL MADE UP THIS LAW!? " Adam yelled out loud as an announcer was heard.

" Come one and all for the opening ceremonies! "

" Grunkle Stan, you coming? "

" No, thank you. " The older pines denied with a stretched-out-hand. " Just remember, if you come back to the shack, talking like these people, these people your dead to me! "

The twins then began to act like a prospector closing one of their eyes. " There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar. "

" Well, hornswoggle my haversack! " Mabel added making Adam chuckle at their antics and then joined in turning to face Stan.

" And just what makes you think that we care old-timer? " The teen asked doing a cowboy voice before the three of them spat onto the ground prospector style and ran off laughing.

" Dead to me! " The old man screamed and walked back to his car.

As they were going someone called out to them. " Howdy partners! " Adam recognized that voice from anywhere and it turned out to be Kylie dressed up like a cowboy with a hat included.

" Oh hey Kylie, " Adam greeted. " How you doing? "

" Just fine. I'm sort of using Pioneer Day as a way to get goof off from work. What bout you? "

" Eh, Stan got caught up in one of the few days he hates the most. "

" Uh... Who's this? " Mabel asked not recognizing the boy at all.

" Hmm? Oh right. Dipper, Mabel, this is Kylie Rivers. " Adam introduced the twins to the his friend and did the same by introducing them. " Kylie, meet Dipper and Mabel Pines, there my bosses great nephew and niece. "

" Nice to meet you both. "

" Yeah, the same. " Dipper replied giving him a fist bump with Mabel repeating the greeting.

" Are those nacho's hanging from your ears? "

" Why yes. " Mabel said proudly showing them off. " Yes they are. Do think it's funny? "

" A little, mainly cause I could really use some. So where you guys heading off to? "

" Were actually going to the opening ceremony. " Adam replied.

" You mind I tag along? It's just me by myself today. " Kylie asked sounding a bit shy.

" Where's your dad? "

" Eh, he needed to go get something from the next town over. So I figured I'd come by here to keep myself busy. "

" Not at all actually. Come on. " Adam replied and in a short few seconds the trio with their new companion headed over to where the towns folk gathered in a large crowd. The ceremony itself was staged at a large wooden stage made out of wooden planks and logs.

" Hear-ye! Hear-ye! " Sherriff Blubs said over a microphone wearing a coonskin cap with the Northwest family sitting behind him. " Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence! "

" Whoo! " Deputy Durland ran onto the stage while ringing a bell wearing a full prospector outfit. " I got a bell! "

While he kept ringing his bell, a robber dressed like a bandit was able to steal an old lady's purse and made a brake for it. " Oh no! Police! My purse! " The elder cried out before everyone else heard multiple loud sounds of fists hitting somebody.

( I mean come on, somebody should've at least done that. )

They all looked to see Adam had knocked the burglar onto the ground before stomping on the thief's hand. As he let out a painful cry he let it go, letting the blonde pick it up and give it back to the old woman. " Here you go mam. "

" Thank you so much young man. " She said gratefully receiving help while neither Durland or Blubs showing any signs of apprehending the now bruised and knocked out outlaw.

Instead being the idiot he was, Durland continued goofing off wish his bell. " Ring ring! Ring ring! Whoo! "

" Ring ring! Ring ring! Whoo! "

Blubs chuckled fondly and shook his head. " He sure loves his bell. "

" Worst lawenforcment ever... " Kylie whispered to Adam.

" For sure... " Adam agreed as the ceremony continued on with a girl tapping on the mic wearing a light turquoise dress with a purple belt to support it. Black leggings underneath her cream boots with purple arrowhead shaped earrings and a skinny purple bracelet around her arm

" Howdy everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. " She announced and made a pose similar to one of the statues on display. " I'm also very rich. "

Her parents the crowd give her an applause all except the group.

" Pff, rich brat. " Kylie mumbled underneath his breath as she continued on.

" Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself! "

Mabel gasped in excitement. " Audience participation! "

" I don't know Mabel, isn't that girl kinda like your arch-enemy? " Dipper asked looking over to Pacifica who was looking at her nails.

" That's water under the bridge. " Mabel insisted getting on stage laughing away.

The female twin walked over to Pacifica's right side, with the blonde gesturing to her. " Our first new comer is... " She looked over to see who walked up and when she saw it was Mabel she glared angrily at her. " Mabel... "

" Yeah! " She cheered and jumped in front of Pacifica. " Let's get this Pioneer day started! Right guys? USA! USA! "

" USA! USA! " Adam, Kylie, Dipper and the crowd cheered together with another guy wearing a yellow tank top and a flag hat cried tears of joy. " USA! USA! "

" I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people. " Pacifica said seeing an opportunity to humiliate the kind girl. " And you look and act ridiculous. " She looked at her sweater. " I mean a puppy playing basket ball? Are you always this silly? "

" Hey, I can be serious. " Mabel insisted making a poor attempt to glare at her.

" You do have nacho hanging from your ears hon. " Mabel grabbed the nacho's earrings and blushed in embarrassment.

" Hey! " Adam yelled at Pacifica having heard enough out of her mouth. " Leave her alone! "

" Yeah back off! You can't talk to my sister like that! " Dipper added brining more defense to his twin sister.

" Ha! Then I feel really embarrassed for you. " She replied and placed a hand on Mabel's shoulder while looking over to the audience. " Give her hand everybody! "

The crowd applauded all except for the trio who looked worried. Mabel's mouth trembled for a moment holding a look as if she was gonna cry and sadly walked off the stage.

" Now who want's to hear more about me?! "

" Nobody you blonde bitch! " Kylie snapped at the Northwest flipping her off with both middle fingers and went back over to join his new friends. He then sighed and went over to join his new friends.

" Hey, you okay? " Dipper asked in concern for his sister.

" I need some old timey butterscotch. "

" Come on, let's get out of here. " Adam said looking over to Pacifica and threw her a glare over his shoulder. With that done, he left the festival to look after the younger bunch.

We now cut to see Stan in his car which was apparently stuck in the mud. And then a man walking with a donkey walks by him.

" Hey there, uh, donkey boy! " He got his attention. " Give me a hand with my car, huh? "

" Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a "car." Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box? " The guy asked totally in character poking the vehicle with a crowbar frustrating Stan.

" Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for pete's sake! Cut me some slack! " The older man said in frustration.

" Slack? " He stayed in character. " I am unfamiliar with this bold new expression. "

" I can't take this anymore! " He grabs Steve by the collar pulling him close and began to shake him. " I'm getting dumber every second I'm here! " He then let steve go cause the law enforcement arrived.

" Are we going to have to intervene here? " Blubs asked

" Oh, look, the 'constable.' " Stan said sarcastically showing he wasn't intimidated at all. " What are you going to do? Throw me in ye stocks? " He laughed.

And that's exactly what they did much to his dismay.

" Oh, come on! " The old man complained as Gideon came walking by him wearing an old outfit to with a wig.

" Hey! Nice outfit, Gideon! You actually look less girly then usual. " He said before laughing.

" Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer selling his wares. " The boy said as he put the sack out in front of him. " Whoops! I dropped one. " He casually said before purposely throwing one right at one Stan's right eye. " Whoops! I dropped another one. " He threw another tomato hitting him in the other eye acting like he didn't do anything.

Growling in frustration Stan looked up the sky and yelled out on the top of his lungs. " PIONEER DAY! "

We now see the four of them now sitting on the stairwell near one of the statues of Nathanial Northwest. Mabel is shown to be depressed as she's eating out of the bag of butterscotch that Kylie bought for her.

" Dipper, can I ask you something? " The female twin inquired. " Do you think I'm silly? "

" Uh... No? Owww! " Dipper lied which got him a smack from the back of head from Adam who shook his head disproval.

" Ugh! I knew it. " The girl exclaimed in frustration. " I knew it. The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming. But I guess people see me as a big joke. " She said before taking off the nacho earrings, and her sweater tying it around her waist.

" Come on Mabel, you love that sweater! " Dipper said.

" I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything! "

" Pacifica... " Dipper growled clenching his fist, standing up and turned to face the statue of her ancestor. " Why does she think being related to the town founder means she gets to treat everyone like garbage? "

" Cause that's how rich folk are... " Kylie spoke up. " They have more, and therefore they've got more power. This ain't nothing new, it's been going on for centuries. "

" Yeah well even so someone's gotta take her down a peg. "

Hearing this made Adam snap up a bit in realization. " Wait a minute...Dipper? Didn't we read something Pacifica's great-great grandfather before? "

Dipper gasped. " Your right! I remember now! " because he was right and pulled out the journal flipping through the pages and found what he was looking for. " Of course! Oh, this is perfect! " Everyone gathered around to see the open journal.

" In my investigations... " For some reason the male twin began to imitate an old man.

" What are you doing? " Kylie asked in confusion.

" Should I do the voice? " Dipper stuttered.

" Uh-uh... " Both his sister and work friend replied.

" Nah, I'll just read normal. " He said before he began to read it. " 'In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls! I believe the proof of this secret is buried somewhere on the enclosed document.' " The boy read as Adam took a folded piece of paper out. " 'If only I could crack the code'. " He finished reading and tucked it back into his vest while Adam unfolded it revealing a series of symbols.

" Oh, man, you guys...if this cover up is true, then that means Pacifica and her whole family is a fraud! " Dipper exclaimed.

" Yeah, this could be a real major conspiracy. " Kylie added in agreement.

" Really? " Mabel asked with widened eyes.

" Adam, come on, we got to investigate this. "

" Wait! " Mabel put a hand on her brothers shoulder. " I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right? "

" Oh, yeah defiantly. " Dipper answered.

" Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could ever call me silly again! "

" I don't know guys... " Kylie spoke up. " If this is real, then we might bite off more then we can chew. "

" I get what you mean... " Adam agreed. " But let's not forget, Pacifica humiliated Mabel. She started this, so we might as well get even. "

" When you put like that, then what the heck. I'm in. "

" Yeah! Mystery Crew? " Dipper asked holding out a knuckle.

" I thought you hated that? " Mabel asked.

" I'm starting to accept it. "

" Cool, now all we need is a talking dog. " Kylie said giving off a chuckle cause this reminded him of one of his favorite cartoons as a little kid.

" Well what are we waiting for? Let's go! " Adam said taking the lead as he and the 'Mystery Crew' began their investigation. But unknown to them, for some odd reason Sheriff Blubs was behind the statue listening in on the conversation the whole time.

He grabbed his walkie. " This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia. "

[(sound of spitting) What?! And what are you doing about it?!]

" I'm following them now. "

[Find them and stop them. There's no room for error.]

" I understand. Blubs out. " The round black male looked to his partner. " Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready? "

" Whoo! " The idiot cop rang his bell in response making Blubs chuckle.

" If being delightful was a crime, you'd be breaking the law. "

" Let's go get'em! " Durland exclaimed before the two ran off after the group of kids.

The inside of the Gravity Falls public library comes into view with Old Man Mgucket appearing to be reading to some children.

" Back in the olden days, pioneers drew sustenance from telling stories around the fire. So let's eat some books, children. Go ahead, eat the books! " The crazy old man said before biting into the book that he was holding and began to eat it.

Meanwhile just a few feet away the group were reading some books at a table, with a lit candle and a projector.

" Dang there's something really messed up with that guy... " Adam whispered as he, Mabel and Kylie were reading while Dipper glared at a portrait of Nathanial Northwest with the document at hand.

" All right, Mabel, Adam, Kylie, if we can prove that Nathanial Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it'll finally put Pacifica in her place. "

" Darn right it will. " Kylie commented.

" And solving the mystery will prove that I'm not silly! I'm serious. " Mabel said before she leaned forward glaring at the book she was holding. She then leaned to the side and lapped a few pieces of butterscotch that were on the table into her mouth by using her tongue. " Seeeeriousssss... "

Kylie chuckled at her antics while Adam gave her a blank look and then turned to Dipper. " Don't forget, first we gotta crack the code on the document. "

" Way ahead of you. " Dipper said as he put a few slides into the projector and turned it on while holding up the document. " Let me see. It's not Egyptian. It's not numerology. " It's not...Wait! Of course! " He stopped at one slide and compared one of the symbols on the document. " The triangle is the alchemist's symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message! "

" It's so obvious! " Mabel agreed with her brother probably having no idea what he was talking about.

" Are you really sure that's gonna even work? " The blonde teen questioned the male twin hoping he knew just how insane it sounded.

" Yeeeah...I don't think that's the answer either. " Kylie said agreeing with what Adam had in mind but instead of listening and grabbed the candle.

" Alright, Now let's just light this sucker up, and...Mabel! " Dipper snapped seeing his twin sister folding the document into a paper hat now wearing it.

" Mwop! I just made a hat! " Mabel then realized what she did. " Ugh! I did something silly again! (Blows a raspberry)"

" Hmm? Wait a minute... " Kylie took the candle from her male twin and brought it closer to the document. " No way, Mabel, you just folded it into a map! "

Adam then looks to Dipper. " And you were gonna burn it. " The teen criticizing the boy.

" Not my brightest moment. " He confirmed the truth.

" Were we on the lookout for three kids and a teenager who might be reading. " The sound of Sherrif Blubs voice talking to the librarian caught the groups attention. They look over to see both dumb cops by the entrance with their life side facing them.

" Were hunting 'em down for secret reasons! " Durland rings his bell despite being in a library. " Whoo! " The group quickly ducks underneath the table to get out of their view while the retarted deputy slaps a few books off of a shelf saying. " DERP! " They then walk off in another direction.

" Did they see us? " Adam whispered.

" Nope. " Kylie replied. " But are they are they even following us? "

" I don't know. " Dipper answered with a serious face. " Maybe we should take this elsewhere... "

Mabel took off the hat, holding it for everyone to see. " This map should lead us to...

" ...The Gravity Fall Museum of Natural History. " The group stopped infront of the said museum, looking at it's roman/greek inspired exterior.

" Yep, just on the map. X marks the spot. " Kylie commented.

" You realize what this means you three... " Dipper said getting their attention and looked up squinting his eyes. " Were gonna have to break in. " Dramatic music is heard in the background.

" And those are your free Pioneer Day passes. " A woman wearing an old dress said each giving them a button. " And here are your balloons. blue, pink, red and white. " She gave then gave them their balloons. Blue for Dipper, pink for Mabel, red for Kylie and White for Adam.

Dipper keeps up the act like they were gonna break including the face. " Were in. "

" So what are we gonna do next? Steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage? "

The three males looked at her with grossed out faces. " Eww. No. According to the map, the next clue about the real founder should be right...here! " He puts down the map revealing an abstract stone painting mounted on the wall.

" Not to be killing the mood, but we better figure this thing out fast. Them cops weren't at the library to check out books. "

" I don't think the one with the bell can read. " Mabel said.

" I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. " Kylie added.

" But what is this thing supposed to be anyway? " Dipper asked before all four of them stared at the painting. While trying to analyze it, they hummed together.

" I ain't coming up with anything. " The tanned skinned boy said as they kept looking at it.

" It kind of reminds of a flower almost. " Adam admitted while Mabel went over to a bench to sit down resting her head on her hands. She then got into different sitting positions continuing to hum trying to figure out what it was. " Mmm. Hey, painting! Be less stupid! " She said while going upside down on the bench. Mabel suddenly gasps and points forward. " It worked! "

" Huh? " The three males looked at her widened eyes. They then rush over to the bench and joined her now seeing what she was seeing. It was an angel holding an open bible in her left hand while her left was pointing at something.

" Wait. It's not abstract, it's upside down. " Dipper said in realization.

" I think I've seen that statue in the cemetery. " Mabel told them.

" And I know where it is! " Kylie added.

" Let's go quick! " Dipper exclaimed, as soon as they did, the group experienced a head rush holding their heads to ease the pain.

back with the lady at the entrance dumb and dumber were at the entrance with Blubs holding a blue balloon.

" I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons. "

" Why did we even come? " Durland exclaimed in a sad voice looking down before a familiar voice to them was heard from Blubs radio.

[Officer Blubs.] Hearing the voice made the duo rush over to a wall with the fat man letting go of the balloon.

" Blubs here. " The sheriff answered.

[Have the targets been apprehended? ]

" Negative, " Blubs answered sweating nervously. " But were close. I promise those kids will never get past us! "

" Go! " Adam's voice yelled before they all rushed right past them

" Hey! Wait! " Blubs called out but the kids wouldn't listen and rushed out the door. As they got to the entrance the two cops got stuck right next to each other letting them escape. " Dang it! "

We now see Stan now coming back into view holding a bobby pin in his mouth trying to pick the lock. " Come on. " He was struggling. " Come on. Argh! " He drops it and some one picks it up. That someone was none other then Pacifica.

" Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this? "

" Yeah, yeah. What do you want? Money? "

" I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls. "

" Oh, sure! You want that in writing? "Stan said sarcastically as Pacifica put a pen into his mouth and held up a notepad letting him write. " There we go. " He finished writing. On the piece of paper instead of reading what she wanted it read : YOU SUCK! " Ha! I wrote with my mouth! " The older man said proudly angering Pacifica and spotted some people near a tomato stand. She whistled getting their attention and jabbed her thumb over to Stan with the people approaching over to him.

" Gah! Come on! " The older male complained as he was then assaulted with a barrage of tomato's

Cutting back to the 'Mystery Crew' we now see them in the cemetery right near statue matching that of the painting back at the museum.

" Yep, here it is. " Kylie confirmed.

" Oh yeah, exactly what were looking for. But this is got to mean something though. " Adam said.

" Yeah, your right. " Dipper agreed. " The statue has got to be pointing to the next clue. "

" Oh, gross, she's picking my nose! " They all look to Mabel putting the angels pointing finger into her nose. This enough made Adam chuckle lightly while Kylie just laughed. And as everyone was having a good laugh the finger suddenly cracked going upwards. Immediately after the stone slab infront of the angel slid forward much to the groups surprise.

" Mabel, look! " Dipper said pointing to the hole.

" Yeah, nice work. " Adam commented making Mabel feel proud.

" Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam! " She tried to get off but the stone finger which tugged on her. " Ah, ow, ow! "

" I gotcha. " Kylie said as he helped her off.

" Thanks. " The female twin said before they all went down the stairs with Dipper bringing out a flashlight. " Now, we're getting into real conspiracy mode! " Mabel said in determination. " I feel so serious! " She then unwrapped a piece of butterscotch and tossed the wrapper aside. They then started to make their way through a tunnel and the tensions were starting to grow.

" Okay, be on the look out for booby traps. " Dipper said in a serious tone making his sister snicker at what he said.

" Ha, booby traps! " She laughed at the joke. As everyone was making their way through they didn't pay attention to what they were stepping on before it was to late. And it turned out Mabel stepped on a tile sticking out of the ground. Their hearts paused upon hearing the noise and the sounds coming from the rock walls. All the sudden a dart flew right past Adam just a few inches away from his nose.

" Everyone run! " Adam cried out as they all ducked avoiding a few darts and ran with all their might like Indiana Jones in the Raider of the Lost Ark. While running Dipper tripped and they all fell down into a slide like tunnel going down in a single direction. They screamed as they rid the slide not long before they all broke through a large spider web.

" Oww... " Adam groaned in pain. " You all okay? "

" I think so. " Kylie answered before gasping in shock grabbing Dipper's flashlight lighting the way forward. " Hey guys...you might wanna see this. "

" Oh wow... " Adam said in awe and amazement. " Now I know how the Goonies feel. "

" I'll say. " Kylie agreed as they explored the secret room in wonder seeing what it had to offer.

" It's a treasure trove of historic-y secret-y things! " Mabel said walking over to a small table that had a film projector and a few documents. One of the 'TOP SECRET' documents was one about Abraham Lincoln's hat. One photo showing him wearing it, and another right beside it showing their was a hand sticking out on top of his head. She looked at the first page that showed Benjamin Franklin wearing earing's and sub captions reading secretly a woman. " Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman! "

" Oh man! Benjamin Franklin secretly was a woman! " Mabel told everyone.

" And I'm pretty sure I found Davy Crocket... " Kylie said pointed to the a skeleton wearing a racoon hat.

" Hey, jackpot! " Dipper said in excitement shining his light over onto a document titled 'The Northwest Cover-Up.' He then approached the pedestal. "

" Well what are you waiting for? Read it! " Adam urged the boy as they all gathered around as Dipper opened the document and began to read: " Let it be here be recorded that Nathanial Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was in fact, a fraud!...As well as a waste-shoveling village idiot? "

" It also says here he claimed to be a powerful wizard, and attempted to prove he was by eating an entire oak tree and died choking on a giant piece of bark. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed. " Adam read before laughing along with Kylie and Dipper " Oh, wow! That's just sad! Wait till the town and that brat hear about this! "

" Yep. Bad news for Pacific. " Dipper added.

Mabel then became excited. " Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they could never call me silly! "

Once he calmed down Kylie looked to the male twin. " So if Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the founder of Gravity Falls then who was it? "

Dipper shined the light back on the file to the very bottom. "The true found of Gravity Falls was Sir Lord Quinten Trembly III. Esquire. "

" Who's Quinten Trembly? " Mabel asked before all the sudden a bright flashed onto the group making them turn around to see the cop duo.

" That's none of yo business! " Blubs proclaimed pointing a finger at them making them all gasp.

" Whoo! " Durland cheered as he rang his bell. " We gotcha! Whoo! Whoo. " He then stopped looking very weak as if he wasn't gonna stay on his feet for very long. " Whoo-hoo.. " He suddenly falls face flat passed out onto the ground. It was revealed that there several darts sticking out of his beck and head.

" Whoa! Is he dead?! " Kylie asked in shock.

" Nah, he got hit with quite a few of those darts. " Blubs answered before he grew serious. " Now, hand over the file, so no one will get hurt. " Cursing slightly Adam grabbed the document and gave to the black cop as requested. " Thank you, now I hate to do this, but Quintin Trembley's a matter of national security. "

Durland suddenly shots back up on his feet. " Yeah! Ye-ah... " He nearly looses his footing again. So he held his knees to keep himself stableized. " Whoo...I think I might be color blind now. "

" Wait a minute, you guys work for the government? " Adam asked in shock figuring that they were just idiots, but then again looks could always be deceiving enough. " But how's this Trembly guy even national security? I mean the guys been dead for over at least nearly 200 years now, isn't he? "

" See for yourself. " Blubs said as he took off his hat and for some reason pulled out a small film roll that had some dust coming off of it. He puts it on the projector and turns on aiming at a small old white banner. They all turned towards the screen that was black and white doing a countdown.

" Ugh! It's black and white!? " Mabel complained.

" Shh! Mabel! " Dipper scolded her, as the reel started.

The first thing that comes into view was the government seal, followed up by showing an official standing near his desk looking at the audience as he begun to speak.

" If you are watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. Infact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete. " The official pauses and looks over to someone off screen. " -What, no? Ho! Oh well, that's a relief! "

' Yep he was shot. ' Kylie said to himself mentally as he continued watching.

" Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quinton Trembly. The eighth and a half president of the United States. " The screen showed the said individual. He was a man with a thin tall head, a long nose, a relatively simple haircut; his sideburns flowed into his very distinct almost mutton chop like facial hair. Her also had an extremely small pair of spectacles on top of his nose that didn't even need cover his eyes.

" President? " Dipper and Mabel asked together.

" Eight and half? " Adam and Kylie asked in unison confused at the same time raising an eyebrow.

" After winning the 1864 election in a landslide, " Everyone thought it a was a metaphor. The reel showed a photo of Trembley and the other1837b presidential candidates. Then without warning a landslide killed the candidates and the entire audience leaving trembley as the only one standing. " Quentin Trembley quickly gained the reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six baby's to the supreme court, and issued the De-pants-apation Proclamation. His state to the union speech was even worse. "

Voice Reenactment: " The only thing we need to fear, is gigantic man-eating spiders! "

" He was then kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls. After pluming into it at high speed. Trembley's shameful term was erased from history, and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President, and local, nobody, Nathanial Norhwest, as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of President Trembley's body are unknown. " The reel ends.

" Until now. " Blubs said gesturing to something. They all looked to see Quinton Trembley standing right behind them. Only he appeared to be encased in rectangle shaped amber prison.

" How did we not notice that? " Kylie asked outloud.

" Whoa... " Dipper said in awe as he approached the trapped man. " Is this like amber or something? " He asked rubbing his finger down on it.

" The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in peanut brittle. " Blubs answered approaching the group revealing what it actually was. " Smooth move! MR President! Finding Trembly body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete. "

" Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girls trail of candy wrappers? " Durland exclaimed holding up one of the discarded wrapper most likely the one she threw aside earlier. Adam, Dipper and Kylie instantly glared at Mabel who already knew she messed up.

" Ugh! Silly! " Mabel facepalmed herself.

" Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talking about it. " Blubs said rubbing both of his hands changing the vibe of things.

" Hey, hey...hold on! " Adam got in front of the others. " You're really not gonna kill us are you!? "

" ARE WE?! " Durland shouted freaking out for some reason.

" Now, now, " He told the kids and looked to Durland placing a hand on his shoulder. " Calm down now, buddy, calm down. " He turned back to the group. " We're just going to escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't coming back, by the way. "

" If your gonna do that, then at least take me instead... " Adam volunteered himself hoping he'd be able to reason with the dumb cops. " Just leave them out of it. There just kids. They won't tell nobody. "

" I'm sorry Adam. " Blubs apologized. " We can't take any risks. " He said making everyone exchanged frightened glances.

We now see a train running on the railroad tracks with it's whistle blowing away along with the cargo bay where the groups cries for help were heard banging on the wood from the inside of a crate.

Mabel: " Anyone there!? Help, help, help! "

Dipper: " Hey! Let us out! "

Kylie: " Yeah! We got our freakin rights! "

" Just let it go! " Adam said to the three younger children pounding on the wood. " There's no one to help us. Besides, at the rate this train's going, we're gonna be at the airport in only a matter of hours. "

" Man, i can't believe this is it... " Kylie said sadly. "...Were gonna spend the rest of our lives locked up, just because our stupid government won't own to their mistakes! " Kylie said in frustration kicking the crate as hard as he could making Mabel sigh.

" Oh, I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. " Mabel said miserably and sat against the wall of crate right near Trembley's body. " This all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure like that embarrassing President Whatshisname. "

" Hey, at least the fun lasted while it did right? " Kylie asked trying to cheer her up which it slightly did before she broke a piece off of the peanut brittle and ate it. But as soon as she did that the whole encasing began to crack and shake with the kids quickly hiding behind Adam watching the whole thing crumble away making them all scream.

" It is I! Quentin Trembley! " The eight and a half president of the united states proclaimed before ripping off his pants for some odd reason.

" Adam. Did that just happen? " Kylie asked wanting to know what just occurred.

" Yes, yes it did. " The blonde said confirming what they witnessed was indeed real.

" You're alive! " Dipper exclaimed in amazement. " But how? "

" Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! " Mabel said in awe. " You're not silly! You're brilliant! "

" And so are you, dear girl. " Trembley said praising the female twin. " For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb! "

Dipper put a hand on Mabel's shoulder. " He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside down! You're silliness solved a code that serious cops couldn't crack 100 years! "

" And we found him, so that's something to add ontop of the list of achievement's you made today. " Adam added patting her on the shoulder making her blush.

" Oh, stop it! " Mabel modestly waved them off.

" By Jefferson! " Trembley exclaimed getting their attention. " We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box. "

" Uh, yeah. It's a crate. " Kylie exclaimed with a bored look.

" Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America! " He said pulling out the very key. The group then watched as the ex-president went over to one of the walls of the crate looking hopeful enough for an escape. But instead he repeatedly slammed the end of the key into the wood as if he expected it to work.

" I don't thin that's going to work. " Dipper said.

" Wood! My age-old enemy. " He turned to the kids. " In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived. "

" And we know just who can help. " Adam said gesturing over to Mabel making her hum.

" How bout...that hole? " She pointed to a small hole in corner of the wall.

" We will leap through it! " Trembley said before they both jumped at the hole leaving Adam, Dipper and Kylie to exchange a look as she poked her finger through the hole moving it around. " Almost! Almost there! " They struggled to push through. " Good! Keep pushing! "

" Uh...I don't know what to say right now. " Adam said bluntly cause this was the most ridiculous thing he's ever seen possibly in his life.

" Trust...the silliness! " Mabel shouted

" Fiddlesticks! Keep going! " Trembly said. Outside of the crate a woodpecker had somehow gotten onboard the train and saw Mabels finger. It naturally figured that it was worm or bug of some sort before it started pecking at the crate. Hearing the pecking noise made silly duo stop what they were doing. " Is that my third wife, Sandy? "

" Well, now we know who made up that law. " Adam spoke out loud.

The woodpecker stopped what it was doing and flew away with the plank of the wood that had the hole fell off. And without question, the whole entire crate had just fell apart. " Well, we didn't fit through the hole. " Trembley said. " Let's rebuild the box and try again! "

" Screw that! Let's get out of here! " Adam cried out while Dipper grabbed the files and the group ran for the door.

" Also good! "

As Trembley caught up to them they opened the door to the train. In the other car Durland was happily getting some ice from the machine. He was just about to go to the room where he and Blubs were staying before he saw the five escapee's and dropped the bucket.

" Blubs!? " On que the sheriff poked his head out of the door making the group panic and slam the door shut. They all turned and ran away. As they reached into the other end of the cart they were in Adam slammed a nearby tall crate in front of where they just ran from. But unfortunately there weren't any other train cars behind theirs.

They quickly spotted a ladder leading to an emergency exit escape. Trembley was the first to climb and tried to use his president's key to open it. But it wouldn't suffice, so Dipper went up and snatched it from him. " Gimme that! " He opened up the hatch and climbed up followed by his twin sister, the ex president, their new friend and Adam. Only Blubs grabbed him by the leg. But he kicked the black cop in the face making him let go and joined the others at where they stopped.

" Oh crap, dead end! " The blonde cursed and turned around to see the cops coming up from behind them.

" There...is...no...escape! " Blubs exclaimed huffing and puffing from running he did, it was all because he was way out of shape. " Let me... I got to take a knee. " He fell on knee.

Durland went over to his partner putting both hands on his shoulders. " Are you okay? Can I get you anything? "

" Edwin Durland, you are a diamond in the rough. " Blubs said with a smile.

Hearing this and seeing how they were, now both Adam and Kylie were pretty sure they had to be gay. But the blonde spoke up. " Hey, Blubs! You really wanna lock us all in a government facility against our wills? "

" I've got no choice Adam. " The black cop replied. " Our orders come from the very top! "

They all had to think quickly, cause if it was true, then even if they were to escape the government would still try to track them down. But Dipper got an idea. " Wait! " He looks to Trembly. " Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?

" No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window. "

" Then technically, you're still the President of the United States! Right? " He then turns over to the two dumb cops. " You got to answer to this guy now! "

" Huh? " Blubs and Durland looked at one another in confusion.

Adam, Kylie, Dipper and Mabel made room so that the ex-president could give orders. " As President of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And go on a delightful vacation! Ow! " He got hit in the back of the head by a speeding metal rail, but it didn't really seem to bother him. " Mmm yes! "

" Vacation? " Blubs actually liked the sound of what he said turning to Durland. " What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two... "

" Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan! " Both cops shouted in excitement before giggling.

The group and the former x president were now seen walking down town. After Trembley gave orders to Blubs and Durland to take a vacation, the group was now off the hook. Afterwards Trembley also made Mabel a congressman, and gave Dipper his Presidents Key.

But right now, they were currently listening to one of Trembly's stories from when he was younger. And Adam wasn't gonna lie, it was actually kind of funny.

" And then what did he do? " Kylie asked finding his stories interesting to listen to considering he was a national treasure. Even though the government didn't want to admit it.

" He chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk. "

" A-greed! " Mabel said.

They then stopped, upon spotting the person who was the main reason for all this. Just a few feet away, Pacifica and her friends were watching some girls run around a maypole. One of them almost tripped on a rock, but she kept going just fine. But she wasn't having none of it.

" Kick her off the team. " The rich brat told her friends.

While her goons were doing that Mabel, Dipper, Adam and Kylie walked up to her. " Hey, Pacifica! " Mabel called out much to the blondes annoyance. " I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eight and a half President of the Unites States. Who's silly now? "

Her attention wasn't on Mabel, but on someone else. " What? Who is that idiot? " She asked pointing to Trembley chasing after a bald eagle with his fists in the air.

" Put up your dukes, you bald-fiend! " The ex president challenged much to Kylie and Adams amusement.

" The eight and a half President of America! " Mabel told her. " I know what you're thinking. How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle, and... " The rich blonde laughed cutting her off.

" Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way. " She said insulting the female twin much to her rich snobbish parents amusement.

" Good one, daughter! "

" Oh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home! " Pacifica said mockingly at the group before a sedan pulled up right near her parents. As they got in, Pacifica joined them, to go back to her so called 'perfect life'.

" Man, what a bitch... " Kylie muttered underneath his breath.

While she walked away Dipper held up the document and asked Mabel. " Aren't you gonna tell her about her ate-gray andpa-gray? "

" You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. " Mabel said with a confidant smile. " I've learned being silly is awesome! " She said topping off by putting her sweater back on.

" Well, I haven't learned anything! " Dipper declared before whistling over to the Northwest's Sedan. " Hey, Pacifica! " He called out to the car making it screech to a halt rushing over to where the said girl was with her window rolled down halfway showing her the documents. " Nathanial Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham! Deal with it! " He said before giving her the documents.

The male twin handed her the papers. As the car started back up again she read it, and was shocked looking out the back window. " What?! Moooom! "

" Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome! " Dipper said with a smile now back with the group.

" So this is literally what you guys do all the time? " Kylie asked.

" Welcome to the club. " Adam said giving him his answer before Trembley approached them.

" Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here. " He said pointing right at Adam heart and opened the closed fist. " On the negative 12 dollar bill. " He finished his sentence and the said bill to Adam.

" Wow...this is worthless. " The blonde said with a smile.

" It's less than worthless, my boy. Trembley, away! " He then jumped backwards landing perfectly on the saddle of a horse. This startled the steed, and the ex president rode backwards on the saddle saluting the whole time as he rode out of Gravity Falls.

" Where do you think he's going? " Mabel asked in wonder.

" I'm going to say off a cliff. " Dipper guessed.

" I'll take that bet. " Adam agreed.

" What he said. " Kylie added.

After a little bit of searching, the group was pointed out to where Stan was, still in the stocks, telling them on how his day went.

" And then Soos came by and talked to me for, like an hour! " He finished his tale.

" You've been through so much. " Mabel said in sympathy with Dipper pulling out the President's Key and unlocked the lock much to his surprise. " It works! " The boy said in amazement.

" So what's with the top hat? " Stan asked while rubbing his aching forearms.

" I'm a Congressman! "

" Pardon me? " Her great uncle was really confused.

Mabel took off her hat. " You are officially pardoned. " She said making the group minus Stan laugh at her joke.

" Oy. You are never going to make sense, are you kid? "

" No, I'm not Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. " She replied proudly and attempted to do what Trembley said. " Mabel, away! " She then jumped backwards jumping through most likely a window cause their was shattering heard off camera. " I'm okay! " She called making Adam sigh rubbing his temples.

" I'll get her. " The teenager said walking off screen to tend to the female twin.

To be continued

Now replying to reviewers

Justus80

The toe fungus? Eh, that episode was really disturbing to me.

Darkmaster10000000

Hmmm...well, I'll have to think bout it, but I might do it to get it out of the way.

ROCuevas

Thank you

Cowboy Alchemist

Chapter 7

Indeed, and yeah J enjoyed those parts as well

Chapter 8

Happy to hear, I enjoy these chapters too, there a whole lot of fun.