I was in a bad mood. Something I was blaming on work, stress and lack of sleep. I had also been eating more junk food then usual so that may have also contributed. It was in nooooo way because of Steve. Yeah I hadn't heard from him all week but no biggie. If he was happy staying away, so was I. I had plenty of ways to occupy my time; People, events, meetings etc. In fact, now that I thought about it, I also had so much paper work piled on me right now Steve would have just been a distraction on top of my already full plate.
And even though we usually met up today for Frozen Yoghurt Fridays, something I wasn't sure was still on since I hadn't heard a word from him, I was not gonna be the one to reach out.
I had already done my part. I had txted him Monday morning, again that afternoon, and then once more that night, but after no response, refused to message again on principle. I'd even ended the last message with a question and he had the nerve to leave me on seen.
He had seen me on Monday night and it was Friday now.
Reaching out on my end at this stage was just embarrassing. I'm Toni freaking Stark. Something he obviously forgot and needed a reminder of.
I shook my head trying to refocus. So much reading to get through Toni. Concentrate.
Geez how many pages was this dossier? I scowled flicking through the pages. A manual for the rocket moon landing would have been smaller than this. I was trying not to scowl at the papers on my desk when my office door swung open with a force that had it hitting the wall with a loud bang.
"Alright what's going on with Steve and when are you gonna sort it?" Natasha stomped in, a look of determination and annoyance on her features.
"Nice to see you Tasha, I'm fine thanks for asking." I rolled my eyes looking up from some contract I was revising. I forced myself to relax the muscles that had tensed at the mention of his name.
"Cut the crap Toni." Her hands slammed on the desk. "What's up with him? What'd you do?"
"Me?" I asked incredulously. "Absolutely nothing! If he's suggesting otherwise then he's full of it."
"Well if it isn't you, then call him." She picked up my cell and handed it to me. "And find out what his deal is."
Maybe there was something up with him at the moment which had him AWOL. Maybe it was nothing to do with me but maybe it was and maybe I really didn't want to be the one to make the phone call to find out. Especially since I had my pride to look out for.
"May I ask what the deal is with you? Why are you in such a state?" Her frazzled look would have had me laughing if I were in a better mood. That and I also knew laughing in the face of a highly capable assassin when she was already on edge was a good way to end up with a bullet in your head.
"I'm in a state because Steve's had us running drills day and night, and believe it or not, I have a life outside of this place that I really need to get back too."
"You've got a life outside of work? I'm shocked." I responded dryly, going back to the paper I was reading.
"Don't get snarky with me." Tasha grabbed the stack from me and threw it in the air. "We can't all be like you, absent to training all week!"
"Okay." My voice was a long drawl. "Was that really necessary?" I gave her a pointed look before taking in the A4's now littered on the floor. Glancing up I continued, "And just saying, I didn't even know about the training". Though honestly, if he scheduled it 'day and night' like Natasha claimed, I would have gracefully bowed out days ago No Stark worth their salt had that much time to waste.
Natasha straightened from the desk, I could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes.
"So it is you." She spoke finally.
"What are you talking about?"
"Whatever Steve's issue is, you're obviously the problem." Natasha spoke more firmly now, seeming to be satisfied with her conclusion. "Call him Toni."
"I don't see how I'm the problem. I honestly haven't seen him in-"
"Just call him. Find out." She cut me off before turning and taking her leave.
"That's it? You're not even gonna pick up the papers?" I reminded loudly as she continued walking
Without looking back she threw up her middle finger in response.
"Rude!" I shouted before she slammed the door behind her.
"Call Steve, check on Steve, what'd you do to Steve." I muttered underneath my breath doing a very poor and whiney Tash impression. "The better question is when did I start taking orders from you!" I shouted to no one in particular.
Pulling up Steve's name on my phone, I glared at his image as my thumb hovered over the call button. This would be a phone call, and three txts. What if he ignored the call?
God I don't know where my sudden insecurities were coming from. Just hit the call button Toni.
Committing to my decision I heard the familiar ring tone. Once, twice, then a third. And then the ringing had the audacity to continue. There was never a time when Steve didn't answer straight away. Even before we became close, it would ring three times at the most. The past month it barely made its way through half a sound when he'd answer. Something I mercilessly teased him about, asking whether or not he waited by the phone for my call.
I guess on top of not replying to messages, he wanted to add phone calls to the mix.
When his voice mail started playing, a sound I had never heard before because he always answered, I hit end and looked at my screen in disbelief. Did he really not answer my call? MY CALL.
Not. Cool. Steve.
Hitting the call button once more, this time much more aggressively then needed, as if he would somehow feel the threat in it and grace me with an answer.
Once again the 'leave a message' played and I waited for the now familiar beep.
"Answer my call asshole." I snapped before hitting the end button and letting my phone drop to my desk.
Alright so maybe that wasn't the best message to leave. Especially if Tash was right and somehow I was to blame for whatever Steve had up his ass. But I was just so mad and I didn't know where my sudden irritation was coming from. Why did I care whether Steve ignored me or not. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, annoyed at myself for my rash reaction.
"Get a grip Toni." I mumbled to myself.
I heard my door swing open and this time Pepper was standing there, her face red, her eyes glaring daggers.
"What did you do to Steve?" She slammed her tablet on my table and I winced. Why was everyone taking their anger out on my desk? I was suddenly rethinking the intelligence in making it touch sensitive.
"Hi Pepper, lovely to see you too."
Pepper didn't respond but folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.
"I shouldn't even dignify that with a response." I continued, leaning back into my chair. "But to answer your rather presumptuous question: Absolutely nothing."
"Right." Pepper didn't look impressed.
I rose my arms defensively. "Honestly what is with you guys today? Steve's irritable and I get the blame? Totally unfair." I pouted.
At that moment my phone began to vibrate, playing the familiar ring tone of the person we were talking about. I answered the call and opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, my mood prickly as hell now.
"What is it?" His voice snapped through the phone.
Okaaaaaay. I'm not sure what I expected exactly, but I knew it wasn't that. And in a weird way, I was a little hurt by his tone. We hadn't talked in a week and that's how he greeted me. Moody Steve or not, I expected more from him.
Completely taken aback, but always ready to argue, I pushed on with, "Oh thanks for finding the time to call me back." My voice dripped with false sweetness. "How's it going Steve?"
Pepper glowered at me as I twirled a strand of hair around my index finger.
"What do you want Toni?"
"No 'Hi? How are you?'" I looked for any split ends, my voice sounding bored, "Did society lose their social civility overnight or what?"
"Stop antagonizing him." Pepper slapped my arm, "Just ask him if he's okay."
It was my turn to glower at her. Maybe people should stop antagonizing me.
"Toni, I don't exactly have time right now, just say what you have to say." His voice was still cold.
"If you don't have the time, why bother calling at all?"
"I missed your call before and was suddenly an asshole," His laugh was bitter, "I wasn't exactly itching for another insult if, god forbid, I didn't drop everything to call the ever impatient Toni Stark back."
"Check the attitude Steve," I snapped losing my light tone. "If you don't want me insulting you, maybe do me the same courtesy."
Pepper was listening to the whole conversation as intensely as I was, and seemed to be more of a Steve supporter if the shaking of her head at me was anything to go by.
"Deescalate whatever's going on." Pepper pleaded.
"Sure thing Toni, consider my attitude checked. Now if you could do me the courtesy of not wasting my time that would be great." His words were so dismissive I found myself getting more and more worked up with every comment. Attitude checked my ass.
"Ouch Steve. My feelings are hurt." My voice was so apathetic no one would know there was any ounce of truth in the statement. "I didn't know you considered talking to me to be such a waste of time." Hopefully he would think about how much of an asshole he was being and reign it in.
Peppers gaze seemed to focus like an eagle on that part of the conversation. Looking for signs on my face to clue her in.
"Only when it seems as pointless as this conversation." He clapped back without missing a beat.
I could feel my jaw clench and I tried my best to relax it with Peppers beady eyes watching the whole exchange.
"Wooooow" I let out a laugh even though nothing about this conversation was funny. "It seems this call was a mistake." My throat felt tight but I managed to control my voice enough to give nothing away. "I'll let you get back to your pressing issues."
"Toni." His voice was still angry. "Just say what you need to say."
"Forget it, I was just checking in. The next time I wanna kill time, I'll be sure to call Bruce."
"Toni I-"
"Bye Steve." I hung up the phone and forced my shoulders to relax.
"Well that was a dud." My tone was light and I tried to smile even though I didn't feel like it. Pepper looked unsure of how to proceed.
"Are you alright?" She asked a crease forming between her brows.
"Of course," I cleared my throat. "But I'm afraid I didn't resolve the issue with Steve, we may have to wait this one out."
Pepper nodded in response but still looked at me worried.
Feeling self-conscious I stood, making some excuse about an errand I had to do. Grabbing my coat I wrapped it around myself and made a dash for the door before she could stop me.
I could feel my heart pounding as I waited for the lift to take me down. Taking deep breaths in an effort to calm myself, I had nearly succeeded when the tune "This is America" started playing through my phone. Instead of fighting the usual urge to smile, I fought a frown.
The ring continued, the sound getting obnoxiously louder with every second it was ignored. I mentally scolded myself for not having him on vibrate with everyone else.
The elevator doors opened with a ding and the song finally cut off. I had no destination in mind, I just knew I had to keep my legs moving. Keep moving and stop thinking about Steve. Who needed him anyway? I'd always thought of him as an asshole so it should've been easy for me to stick him back into that box again.
But we had been getting on. He had been so different to the others and I had felt myself letting my guard down around him. Opening up about weird stuff like favourite childhood memories, achievements we were most proud of, and what were our biggest fears and secret weaknesses. Those moments were real, and intense but the words flowed easily between us. I'd thought I'd finally met someone who understood me in a way that no one else had before, the comfortability I'd found around him something I hadn't felt since Jarvis had passed.
Steve's ringtone buzzed again from my phone but I ignored it. What he wanted, who knew. But I wasn't willing to find out. I knew I was being a coward, but I also knew I was irrationally emotional at the moment and needed time to cool off. That's something I thought I'd never have to experience. Emotions I couldn't control. I usually had them locked down, I was the queen of brushing them aside and moving on. I just had to get that feeling back.
I took my phone out changing the settings to unavailable.
It was time to start channeling my ice queen.