Walking the streets of Manhattan, I stopped multiple times to take photos with fans. Something I was grateful for as it helped my mind to wander.
Several hours had passed since the phone call and I'd calmed down enough to finish any work that needed completion, putting off the rest for a later time. Stretching my neck I checked the time.
5.30pm. Great. Now I was in a bad mood again. No frozen yoghurt tonight.
Picking up my phone I switched the availability back on and found Banners contact number.
"Hey Toni, long time no speak. What's up?"
"Any chance you're free to hang tonight?" I bit my lip. He usually kept a pretty tight schedule so I was praying he'd be available. I really wanted company, and though I knew Pepper or Tash would be open to a sit down, I wanted someone who could get my brain spinning.
"Yeah of course." He replied without pause. "You okay though? You sound different."
"Yeah I'm fine. Just…" I paused not really sure how much I wanted to say. Knowing it was a weird excuse but having nothing better to say, I let out a breath. "Bored."
"Yeah I get that." His tone was light and friendly, something I really needed right then. "Where do you wanna meet?"
"I'll just come to yours if that's okay? Got anything interesting you're working on?"
His lab was always a fascinating place to be in.
"I'm sure I can find a few things to keep you entertained." I could hear the grin in his voice. "See you soon Toni."
"Bye Bruce."
"Your brain works in crazy ways Banner." I marveled at the hologram in front of me.
"It's no way near complete. It's just a theory at this point."
"Still," I looked at the equations he'd already marked out. "You're on the right track."
I was already making modifications to some of his work when I heard a weird humming noise. Looking up I spotted some type of floating ball of energy in the corner.
"Ooooooh what's that?" I spoke getting closer to it. It was more than just energy. Light was reflecting off it in an unnatural way. "Light doesn't act like that."
"That's classified." He responded flipping some kind of projection in front of it blocking my view.
"Boo you spoilsport." I nudged into his arm. "That's the kind of thing I need to be working on."
"I don't make the rules Toni."
"A true friend would let me look." I sulked.
"We are friends Toni." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "but I don't like you that much." He finished on a laugh.
"Hey that's not nice." I shoved him playfully "Why is everyone being mean to me today?" He pulled me back into his embrace and kissed my forehead. I relaxed in his arms and when he let his guard down I jabbed his stomach. He let out a grunt before laughing again.
"Did you wanna talk about it?" Bruce spoke as I lifted myself up on one of his work benches. I swung my legs back and forth and scrunched up my face. "Talk about what?"
"Whoever's being 'mean.'?" He answered making air quotes over the word mean.
My eyes were focused on pulling a stray thread off the over-sized t-shirt I was wearing before my eyes shot back up to his.
He held the contact as he reached into the drink fridge pulling out two beers. He popped the lid off both before handing me one and I frowned at him in confusion before I clicked.
"Pepper?"
He smiled taking a swig of his drink. "Yeah she called me a couple of hours ago."
"Pepper needs to butt out."
"Pepper's your friend, and Pepper's concerned." He countered.
"Pepper's being dramatic over nothing." I glared at the bottle in my hand, the condensation from the glass dripping off my fingers.
"Pepper's not the one you're mad at." Bruce reminded and I let out a sigh.
"I know."
I was already over my issues with Steve by the time I arrived home later that night.
Talking with Bruce had straightened most of my thoughts out, making me realize that I wasn't mad at Steve for the argument but rather the fact he'd disappeared from my life for five days.
But the new understanding just opened another can of worms for me. How could I have let myself get so attached to him?
And how much control of my life had I unknowingly given him? Was it something I could rescind? Was it something I even wanted to?
What am I saying? Of course I wanted to. 'Control was power, and power made a man', words my father said often and words I'd lived by.
Walking up the steps of my entrance-way I found a tub of maple flavored frozen yogurt sitting outside my front door with a note attached.
I'm Sorry.
It was such a Steve thing to do. Apologizing first. And though I loved that about him, how he was such a forgiving and open person, it made the decision so much harder. He had so many admirable qualities about him which is why I liked him so much and I… well Steve could do so much better.
What if he got tired of me? I wasn't exactly irreplaceable. In fact, like I'd pointed out before, there were plenty of smart, attractive people out there.
Taking the tub inside, I grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, crashed on my leather couch and spent the rest of the night eating melted yogurt and watching Netflix, trying to decide what my next move would be.
Let my bond with Steve grow stronger or cut it off while I had the chance.
A full week had passed since I last spoke with Steve. And though we'd had three different meetings where both of us were present, I made the effort to show up late, sit as far away as possible from him (even though the seat next to him was always free, something the rest of the team had started doing when Steve and I became joined at the hip), avoid his gaze and then leave early.
I'd missed several calls from him too and though the logical part of me realized how extremely irrational my reaction was -trying to cut him off completely because he hurt my feelings - the other part of me didn't want to risk getting any more attached to him.
The week away had allowed me the time to solidify my decision that it was better to cut this –whatever this was- off before I became too dependent on him.. It was how I'd always lived my life and the method hadn't let me down yet.
I'd just spent the night with Natasha, and Pepper and it was well past 12 before I arrived home.
"JARVIS I'm hoooooooome." I called taking off my shoes and pulling off my coat.
"Welcome back Miss Stark."
"Get the shower going for me will you?"
I pulled my shirt off throwing it on the ground heading to the kitchen. Stretching my neck I felt it pull painfully in one direction and I winced. "Sort me out an anti-inflammatory as well please."
"Very well Miss Stark." JARVIS responded before I heard the whirring sound of the pills being dispensed in the kitchen.
I took them out of the dish and had the fridge door open when a voice came from behind, "Sore neck?"
I flinched at the sound before turning my neck to glare.
"Jesus Christ Steve." I snapped turning back to grab out a bottle of water. "You scared the crap out of me."
He sat on the bench that ran along the kitchen wall, wearing a wrinkled dress shirt he'd rolled up to his forearms, and dress pants. His hair looked dishevelled, as though he'd been running his fingers through it all day. His face more pale then usual and tired in a way I hadn't seen for a while.
"Sorry about that." He scratched the back of his head in that innocent way he always did, messing his hair up even more. "I should've said something sooner."
"Yeah you or someone else."
"Apologies Miss Stark." Came JARVIS's response though it didn't sound genuine.
Taking off the bottle cap, I turned to face Steve, leaning back against the cool fridge door. It felt like a million emotions were firing through me at once, surprise, anger, frustration, happiness, but I kept my expression carefully blank.
"What are you doing here?" I asked before popping the pills and drinking the water.
"You missed Frozen Yogurt Friday." He replied picking up two tubs of mixture resting beside him and held them up to show. "Again."
"Yeah well I figured you were too busy." I rolled my eyes, playing into the idea that I was still upset. I wasn't though. I was completely over it. But he couldn't know that. Not if I planned to go ahead with ending us.
He winced at the reminder setting down the yogurt beside him. "Not for you."
I let out a scoff but I was struggling with the charade. Something wasn't right about him but I couldn't figure out what, and concern began taking over.
His eyes remained averted, staring at the hands he had clasped together.
"Last week was…" His voice was thick with emotion, "It wasn't about you but I lashed out anyway. You didn't deserve it, I know that."
He stood his hands running through his hair again.
"All I can say is that I wasn't in the right head space to talk. I regretted everything the moment the words left my lips. I promise you, what I said, how I treated you.. it won't happen again."
Self preservation shouted at me to stick with the plan, don't risk getting hurt. But for all the ways I preferred ignoring and avoiding my emotional problems, I found there were more benefits in being close to someone, having someone there who understood what it was like be completely loved by the world yet feel completely alone at the same time.
If there was any part of me that was still in doubt, my decision cemented when I looked at Steve and noticed how much weight he'd lost. How dark the circles under his eyes were. I realized whatever he was going through must have been a lot, and I could choose to protect myself but I could also choose to be a friend to someone in need.
I guess my protective instincts were stronger then my survival ones because I was definitely putting myself in a position to get emotionally fucked. Life was about risk right? I just hoped the reward was worth it.
"You look like shit." I told him as I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him.
He let out a laugh as he squeezed me to him, one arm wrapped around my waist, the other at the back of my head, entangling his fingers in my hair.
I always seemed to forget how tall he was, how solid he felt underneath my hands. He pulled my head close to his chest and I felt his head dip to the crook of my neck where he rested his head between my neck and shoulder. I felt him inhale.
I didn't want to pull away, liking the way he felt in my arms.
We held on longer then we normally would and I was grateful. Whatever stress or anxiety I'd been carrying around all week seemed to have lifted and I liked the feeling so much I wanted to mallow in it for as long as possible.
His body was so warm, his scent intoxicating. I could feel goose bumps prickle my skin, but I wasn't cold. I didn't know what I was feeling but I suddenly felt sensitive all over. Hyper-aware of his body touching mine.
Realizing he was probably waiting for me to pull away and suddenly feeling embarrassed for how tight my arms were around his torso, I forced myself to relax and let go.
But I guess he missed me as much as I did him because even when I began pulling away, there was a moment where his arms tightened, like he didn't want to let go. It must have been an involuntary reaction because it was over as quickly as it happened.
Finally apart, Steve turned grabbing the Yogurt from behind him and handing me one.
"Strawberry and Jalapeno." He answered before I could ask which flavor.
"Sounds disgusting." I replied taking the spoon and container from him. "You know me so well."
"I don't understand how you like eating that weird stuff." Steve grimaced.
"I don't understand how you can stick to the same boring chocolate flavor." I responded peeling off the seal and shoving the spoon in it.
"It's delicious." His response came fast.
"It's boring." I rolled my eyes before offering him the first mouthful of mine. "Go on, try it."
"No thanks." He moved his head further away.
"Spice up your life. Live on the edge."
"Peer pressure won't change my mind" He grabbed my hand pushing it back towards me.
I felt the coolness of the yogurt drip on my collarbone and realized it was melting so shoved the spoon in my mouth. Wiping the melted dessert from my chest before it melted further downwards I licked the excess off my fingers.
About to continue the conversation where I left off I stopped when I saw Steve's face. His gaze was averted. A blush forming on his face.
"You okay?" I raised an eyebrow.
"I just.." He shifted uncomfortably, "Sorry it's uhh.."
As endearing as I found his reaction, and as much as I wanted to wait to see where he would lead this conversation, I decided to give him a break.
"Steve, relax." I laughed "It's just a sports bra."
It wasn't even one of my raunchier ones,.. Just a plain black one that hugged my chest tightly, no push up going on, no extra cleavage showing. Nothing sexual about it in my opinion. But Steve and I had very different ideas of what constituted sexual, perfectly displayed by his reaction.
"Right." He nodded but he wouldn't meet my eyes. " Yeah.. uh of- of course."
With how exhausted Steve looked, I didn't have it in me to drag on the teasing, instead settling with "Alright old man, I'll go change. God forbid I offend your sensibilities. I need a shower anyway." I huffed deliberately sounding put out so he wouldn't think my change of heart had anything to do with pity. Steve's ego wasn't as big as the typical mans, but he was still a man, and I didn't want to risk scaring him off before I got to the bottom of his obvious distress.
"The showers probably cold by now." I called exiting the room. I couldn't resist turning back to tease him a little more. "Maybe you could keep me warm?" I offered politely.
Steve's face seemed to go ten shades redder but he rolled his eyes good naturedly and let out a laugh.
"Just get out of here already." He tossed a nearly empty tissue box at my head.
I avoided it easily before escaping from the room in a fit of laughter.
A/N Hey everyone, sorry this chapter ends sort of randomly. I felt like the original chapter was getting too long and this was the best part to split it. Don't worry though, I've nearly finished the rest of the next one. :)