The funeral came and went, and Steve was coping better then I'd expected. He was still quieter than usual, smiled less but that was to be expected.
He'd spent the first weeks after the funeral staying at mine. It started from us getting drunk the first couple days (him more than me as I was being responsible for once) and him crashing.
It continued days after because he made no moves to leave, and I did nothing to encourage the idea, knowing from experience how pain hit worse while alone in the dark. After Jarvis had passed, I hated being in my room. I'd asked to sleep in the lounge, the first few nights. Would have preferred the same room as my parents but I knew my father would never allow it. Turns out even the lounge was considered too improper for the great Howard Stark so I'd spent those nights wandering the street, until Rhodey had found out and forced me back to his house instead.
I figured Steve was feeling something similar. Not that he admitted it, he didn't have to.
Actions spoke louder than words. His said he needed me.
Mine showed how much I cared.
"No Steve, I already told you, you're not coming!" I laughed packing the car trunk with duffel bags.
Natasha started the engine as I slammed the lid shut.
"I'll sit in the car!" He threw his hands up.
"No you won't. Not if you see what we're planning." I shook my head at his frustrated expression. "You'll come out and try to stop us."
"I won't." He disagreed.
"So if it looks like somethings gonna go wrong, you'll stay sitting there?" I rose my brow knowing if he agreed, he was full of it. He'd be out of the car so fast, telling us to pack it up and go home.
And that was not an option, not after all the planning that went into this.
Steve looked annoyed by the question, "If there's a chance it could go wrong, you shouldn't be doing it at all."
"Steve, that's kinda my point" I grabbed his face between my hands, squishing it like he was a child. "You care too much, sometimes it's fun to just live. You should try it sometime."
He swatted my hands from his face, a scowl on his face.
"We'll call you on the way back."
His eyes flashed showing the annoyance he was failing to hide. "If either of you get hurt." He warned.
"We won't." And if we did, we'd just have to hide it. When I made to move away he grabbed my forearm tightly pulling me towards him again.
"Promise." He demanded, and I knew he wouldn't let me go unless I agreed.
"I promise." I made sure he saw the sincerity in the statement. I actually would try my best not to get hurt. I knew he was still coming right after losing Peggy and though he was mostly coping, I knew his paranoia sometimes got the better of him.
I knew my words hadn't pacified him because he didn't release me. Instead he looked as though he was contemplating the ramifications in keeping me with him.
"Steve." I repeated pulling his head down to kiss his cheek. "I promise I'll be okay."
With a final hug and a backward wave I jumped into the passenger seat.
"He's not coming?" Tasha asked, surprise in her voice.
"No." I wrapped the seat belt around my waist, "Told you, I always get my way." I winked in her direction. She grinned in response before taking off.
We arrived at our destination later that afternoon.
"The weathers still good." I spoke looking at the sky, "Should be a piece of cake."
Natasha nodded in agreement as we grabbed the bags from the trunk and started the trek to our destination, a short 20 minutes later we'd arrived at the cliff edge. It overlooked the sea, and though the waves and rocks below looked sharp and dangerous, it was no concern…so long as we didn't fall.
It didn't take us long to strap ourselves into the harnesses we'd brought.
Natasha was faster having done this multiple times so, while I still struggled to tighten the straps, she began preparing the ropes. By the time we were ready to descend, the wind had picked up slightly, the breeze nice and cool on our skin. Being so far up, we were closer to the sun meaning we'd already started sweating.
We propelled ourselves halfway down, carrying the packs too, which made it so much more difficult in my opinion.
"You alright?" Tash asked, when my foot nearly slipped the second time and I struggled to rectify myself.
"I'm fine!" I waved her on, "But if you could quit showing off it would be greatly appreciated." I yelled sarcastically. Even carrying the heavier items in her bag, she managed to make it look easy.
"If you think I've been showing off, you vastly underestimate my skills." She replied laughter in her voice.
I shook my head at her amusement. "How aren't you out of breath?" I questioned wiping sweat from my forehead.
"Cause I'm better then you."
I snorted at her response. "Try again." She just let out another laugh.
Once we'd comfortably decided where we were detonating our mini grenades we made our way out of the danger zone before letting them explode. That was the hard part and when we executed it so smoothly I was surprised. I knew we were good…but damn we were good.
When the smoke and dust had settled we'd made our way down, unclipping ourselves and began taking samples from inside the man-made cave we'd created. Everything had gone according to plan so far and if we managed to get the right materials from the excursion it would go down as one of our more successful outings.
We'd made several trips back up to the surface, with multiple samples, taking one last trip down to make sure we'd collected everything we could. It was as we were six or so metres down that a strong gust of wind came passing though and both Tash and I stopped to grip tightly to whatever we could, the wind so strong it managed to pull the elastic from my hair which went flying wildly behind me.
"Tash I know I pushed for one more trip down." I called loudly, hoping she could hear over the wind. "But I think you may have been right." She'd commented on the weather, how it looked like it was taking a turn. I'd thought we'd have longer but the wind was proving me wrong.
Tash turned her head to me to reply but anything she'd had to say couldn't be heard over a loud rumble that filled the air. Great. Thunder. Just what we need.
"What?!" I called back.
"You wanna head back up?" She yelled once more
"Yeah I'm thinking it's not worth the risk!" I shouted ignoring how weird the words sounded coming out of my mouth.
Tash looked at me in surprise. I knew she would be. In normal circumstances, I would have pushed through it, even now still had a feeling if we moved faster albeit recklessly, we could still get down and back before it got too dangerous… but I'd promised Steve to keep safe.
"Thank god!" She shouted back as we started our ascension. "I was getting a bad feeling!"
"Don't say that!" I wailed after another gust flew through us. "You'll jinx us!"
In the few minutes that had passed since we'd started climbing upwards dark clouds had rolled in, bringing an onslaught of rain with it, the sound of thunder closer, and flashes of lightening following after.
"Definitely thinking this was a bad idea." I tried wiping the rain from my eyes with my shoulder so I could see where to place my hands next.
"Less talking, more climbing Toni!" Tash called, she'd made it further up, more talented under any conditions apparently. "You've got this."
I didn't want to be a negative nancy so I kept it to myself when I started thinking I really didn't have this.
The wind was so strong now it was no longer coming in gusts, it felt like a constant shove and I held even closer and tighter to the cliffs really hoping it would end soon. I could barely lift my arms out of fear I'd be ripped away with the wind. The rocks below looked dangerous in calm weather, now with the realization I could fall, they seemed even worse. The waves so much harsher. I'd definitely get crushed. What a way to go.
"Toni you're gonna be okay." Tash called once more trying to give me hope. She was higher up, I couldn't see her through the rain, but from the muffled sound of her voice, I could tell she'd made progress. I hoped she'd make it up soon, be able to pull me up once she was on flat ground. I wasn't scared, believing she'd be able to do it. But I was getting ridiculously cold and this experience was really taking a turn from the best to the worst.
Thunder rumbled in the sky again but the wind seemed to settle for a brief moment, as soon as it did I made my way up, trying to make as much progress as possible while I could. I was moving my hand to grip the side of a rock when lightening chose that moment to strike hitting one of the ropes holding me steady. Fucking great. I didn't call out, not wanting to freak Natasha, but I prayed she'd make it to the top soon.
I stayed as still as I could clenching my fists tightly on any indentations I could. It was too risky for me to move now, with the wet rocks, half my rope gone and the wind being as unpredictable as is was.
"I'm nearly there!" I heard Tasha's distant voice.
The wind came in a great rush again, and I could hear the rumble of thunder once more. I felt the hairs on my neck stand. I knew. I knew that the lightening that was following would hit me if I stayed where I was. I knew moving was risky but staying still was no longer an option. Taking a breath and propelling myself sideways, I would've managed to get a hold of the cliff if the wind hadn't started up again, pulling me harshly further out. I saw the lightening strike, leaving a hole where I'd once been. I couldn't hear Tash scream or the rocks smashing, causing debris to fly. Everything seemed silent under the deafening roar of the wind. Instead of coming closer to the face of the cliff, the wind had me flying uncontrollably further out giving me whiplash when it suddenly changed directions and sent me careening back, straight towards the rock face. I knew the impact would hurt, tried to brace myself as best I could, an impossible task as the rope continued to spin completely out of control. I closed my eyes dreading what was coming next. Broken bones was a certainty, how many was the question.