If there was one thing Sephiroth hated more than Hojo at times, it was incompetence. Unfortunately most of his secretaries fell into this category.
The length of their stay as his secretary generally depended on how long his patience would last and what infractions they made while working under him. Some lasted a few months, others were lucky to last a week. After the third incident when Sephiroth lost his patience, Lazard made a point to screen any new ones in case they were part of the Silver Elite trying to get new 'ammunition' for their group.
The last one was lucky Sephiroth didn't want to deal with the fallout...he had been sorely tempted to kill her and be done with it.
Lazard gave Sephiroth a pained look.
"You have got to quit firing your secretaries. Do you know the amount of time I have to put in to do background checks on new ones?" he complained.
Sephiroth snorted derisively.
"If you would give me someone who is at least competent we wouldn't have this problem."
"You can have competence or easy access to the Silver Elite. Not both," he pointed out.
Sephiroth would have replied, but a sudden thought occurred to him.
"What if I 'promoted' one of the men to act as a secretary?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean one of the newer SOLDIERs has shown an aptitude for intelligence over brute strength and has proven professional enough not to let his hormones dictate his actions. I'm sure with enough training he could handle this sort of work," said Sephiroth.
Cloud had openly stated that he wanted to get into a decent college. Acting as a secretary wouldn't eat up too much time and there were a few schools that Sephiroth knew of that did online courses. Paying for him to earn a degree while acting as a barrier between Sephiroth and the rest of the idiots would be simple enough. He would just have to fill out the proper paperwork.
Lazard seemed to have an idea who Sephiroth meant.
"Fill out the paperwork to act as his mentor and I'll look the other way if you want to make him your secretary. So long as he goes on a set amount of missions each month, I'll say nothing on the matter."
"Deal," said Sephiroth.
Cloud had to be a better choice than some of the females that kept getting sent his way. At the very least he had shown he had an actual brain under that blond hair, which was more than he could say about half of his previous secretaries.
A few days later...
"I can't believe it! How did you convince Sephiroth to become your mentor Spike?" asked Zack incredulous.
Cloud snorted.
"More like he was tired of insipid women trying to flirt with him while acting as his secretary," said Cloud.
Sephiroth had approached him once the paperwork went through and explained why he had done it. Cloud wasn't about to argue on the matter considering he was being paid a bit extra and got to take online college courses for free. So long as he filed the paperwork properly and did most of the running for Sephiroth, what he did during his free time was entirely up to him.
That wasn't to say Sephiroth wasn't going to train with him. He took the mentor title seriously, after all. However the fact was that Sephiroth currently needed a secretary more than an apprentice, and Cloud's current fighting style actually meshed better with Genesis more than Sephiroth.
"But still Spike, do you have any idea how many of the men would kill to be in your position?" said Zack.
"Zack, do you know the real reason Sephiroth filled out those forms?" said Cloud, darkly amused.
"Not really."
"He needed a new secretary, but he was tired of dealing with the vapid females he kept getting stuck with. However he knows for a fact I can't stand the Silver Elite, I have an actual brain in my head that I know how to use properly and if I do develop a crush I'll at least remain professional enough not to let it affect my work ethic," said Cloud. "The mentorship thing was Lazard's way of compromising on the issue, since technically I have to go on missions."
"I still say you're a lucky bastard. And who knows, something might develop between you and Seph. Gods know you'd be good for him, since I know you aren't inclined to take advantage of him like most."
Cloud rolled his eyes at that. Honestly, he didn't think he had a chance for anything to develop that way and even if it did, he wouldn't have the first clue how to go about it.
Being Sephiroth's new secretary was surprisingly easy. Most of it was Cloud acting as interference from stupid requests. And occasionally "redirecting" certain piles of paperwork to people who could use the extra headache.
Like commander Genesis. Boy was he pissed when he figured out what was going on. Angeal, however, found it hilarious as did Zack.
Sephiroth knew then and there making Cloud his secretary was worth becoming his mentor. If only for the entertainment of Genesis getting stuck with some of the more mind-numbing files that only needed someone with the right authorizations and didn't actually need Sephiroth's approval.
Authorizations that the "Big Three", as they were called, had.
He still didn't know how Cloud had done it, but he had somehow laced Sephiroth's door with some sort of materia that caused anyone who wanted to bother him for something that wasn't actually his problem to be diverted to another area. Usually in vastly entertaining ways.
He found himself with actual free time and the ability to nap knowing that he had someone on the other side of the door fully capable of being a complete pain in the ass and ruining someone's day.
The idea of being able to relax on company time was positively addicting.
Cloud didn't know if it was the recent Mako injection or if his eye was protesting wearing contacts while staring at a computer for so long. Either way his left eye was throbbing.
"Strife, come in here."
Cloud rubbed his left eye one more time, but did as commanded. Sephiroth was a pretty decent boss, and forgave small mistakes so long as the person making them didn't repeat them too often.
"Is there any reason your file failed to mention an eye problem?" asked Sephiroth.
"Problem?" repeated Cloud confused.
"Zack has walked by twice and both times you were rubbing your left eye," said Sephiroth.
"My contact is bothering me," said Cloud. "I think I've been staring at the screen too long and I don't have my eye drops with me."
Sephiroth gave him a flat stare.
"I find it hard to believe that you still have eye problems after your first Mako injection."
"I don't have eye problems," Cloud corrected tiredly. "I just prefer it when people actually look me in the face, rather than avert their eyes simply because they find the fact I have heterochromia unnerving."
"Heterochromia?" repeated Sephiroth. He wasn't familiar with the term. "Is this going to impact your ability to work?"
"So long as I pop my contact out and get my usual eye drops, I should be fine to work until closing," said Cloud.
"Do so. I prefer my SOLDIERs in fighting condition at all times, Strife."
"Yes sir," said Cloud.
It took him all of five minutes to get his eye drops in, mostly because he had to find them.
About two hours later Sephiroth called him in again. This time to deliver files to Lazard.
The second Sephiroth heard Cloud enter the room, he looked up...and stared.
"I thought you said your contact was bothering you," he commented.
"It was. I took it out once I left the office," said Cloud.
"Then why do you have two different colored eyes?" demanded Sephiroth.
"Like I said before, I have heterochromia," said Cloud slowly. He honestly expected Sephiroth to look up the term once he left the room. "It means I was born with two different colored eyes."
Sephiroth stared him down, though the left eye was glowing with an internal light that could be mistaken for Mako, if it wasn't for the sensation of some ancient being judging him. He silently handed Cloud the files.
"Take these to Lazard."
"Yes sir," said Cloud.
Once he was out of the room, he missed the fact Sephiroth looked up the condition and found that Cloud wasn't joking.
Thinking back to the vivid green eye that reminded him of growing things, Sephiroth shivered. It wasn't from the air conditioning or from a sudden chill.
There was something very striking about that green eye that made the blue one seem even more brilliant.
Sephiroth tried to shake the feeling, but he would have great difficulty getting the image of Cloud's mismatched eyes out of his mind.
Cloud's left eye went back to a slightly different shade of blue the next morning. The memory of his green eye would haunt Sephiroth for much longer.
Two months later...
Sephiroth felt like hell, but that was normal after a 'special' injection.
Gods, he hated those with a passion.
Cloud walked in, took one look at his mentor, and sighed. He put the files down and walked out without a word...however something nudged on the edge of his senses. It felt almost as if someone was casting materia, though not one he was familiar with.
The smaller blond walked in a second time, only this time he was holding a pair of noise-canceling headphones.
"Sir, I highly recommend laying down and putting these on so you can take a nap. You look like hell."
"I have work to do," said Sephiroth.
Cloud crossed his arms and gave Sephiroth an unimpressed look.
"Any work you have to do can wait a few hours. No one is going to bother you for at least six. Now go lay down," said Cloud in a no-nonsense tone of voice.
Sephiroth was nothing if not stubborn.
"Fine. I was going to try the easy way, but if you're going to be a stubborn idiot then I suppose we can try the hard way since you refuse to take care of yourself properly," said Cloud.
Sephiroth didn't know what meant by that, but it took him a few minutes to register the fact that Cloud had taken out his contact.
He felt Cloud's smaller, but firm hand on his own.
Sephiroth was positively hypnotized by the sight of that green eye which was only amplified by the blue he was so used to. He barely registered being firmly lead to the couch in his office, which was just long enough to lay down on.
He couldn't explain how or why he found himself lying down on the couch, just that he found himself staring up a bit at Cloud's mismatched eyes that were glowing warmly.
It was strangely soothing.
"Just rest sir. The world isn't going to end just because a bit of paperwork was late to be filed."
The last thing Sephiroth remembered was the feeling of a blanket being thrown over his tired form, and the sound of Cloud's gentle humming...the tune sounded hauntingly familiar. Like a song he had heard a long time ago before Gast's death and Hojo's depravity.
He woke up around midnight, feeling considerably better than he had when he laid down.
However that didn't hide the fact he currently had a hard-on and the vivid memory of a blue and green eye staring down at him with an expression that would be haunting him for days. The gentle warmth they possessed and the fact Cloud had taken it upon himself to see that the "great general" actually took care of himself for a change when everyone seemed to believe he was some invincible being was not something he'd be forgetting any time soon.
With Cloud
Cloud tried to sleep, but the image of a tired Sephiroth obeying his order to actually take care of himself for once and get some rest made it impossible.
Though most of that was Harry using his "leader" voice, Cloud had to admit he found the idea of staring down a half-awake Sephiroth really appealing.
Looking down, he had to curse.
He hated teenage hormones...they made things more awkward than they needed to be and the last thing he wanted was for Sephiroth to get the wrong idea. He just hoped his hard-on would go away by morning.
Unfortunately, images of Sephiroth plagued him the entire night.
Even worse, Zack noticed his 'problem' the next morning.
Today was going to be a long, awkward day.