Hello again!

Huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I'm glad you all enjoyed it. I have to admit that I wasn't 100% about it but I'm glad you all liked it. Your support means absolutely everything to me. Thank you a million times over... with a little Daryl Dixon on top.

I am very excited about this chapter, just a warning that it does get emotional! This is one of the longest chapters I have written for this story. I really enjoyed writing this chapter; you get to see a raw side to both Daryl and Beth and what is going through their heads. I really hope you enjoy this chapter!

Writer347
Xx

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead

Home Is With You: Chapter 10

Beth
After Daryl and my daddy's outburst about killing The Governor, I managed to get everyone calmed down with Maggie and Rick's help. Michonne on the other hand was more than willing to go back and finish the job but Rick talked her out of it, eventually. No one could understand why we let him live and walk out of there, I had to explain that this was a real community with high walls, guns, people and everything that we didn't really have and if we were to kill him... who knows who would've come after us and I know they would have wiped us all out. We have warned him to stay away, hopefully he will get the message and we will keep to different sides of the town and never shall we meet again. That was the plan anyway but Rick promised that if he sees The Governor or any of the people he recognised from that community then he would kill them without hesitation.

Once everyone was calmed down it was late and everyone went to bed, I went to bed but I couldn't sleep and I knew that Daryl wouldn't be able to sleep either. I offered to take a look at his injuries but he brushed me off and went to his room, closing his door over with a sheet over it. He clearly wanted to be alone and if that's what he wants then I will leave him alone, but I really don't want to be alone right now, in fact being alone was the last thing that I wanted. I didn't want to be with Maggie or anyone else but Daryl, I needed to be in his arms tonight and have him hold me and tell me that everything will be ok again... I just needed him but obviously he just needed to be alone.

I'm hoping I can talk to him at some point tomorrow. I know that we're both going to be really sore and stiff tomorrow from all of the injuries we got but hopefully the two of us can get some place alone and talk, maybe the library. No one goes down there, I'm the only one that does and I've only been there a few times myself. It creeps me out down there because it's so quiet and I know the whole prison isn't clear of walkers, I'm always worried one is going to get in when I'm down there alone. It sounds a bit silly considering all of the doors are locked and the only set of keys are attached to Rick unless he goes somewhere then they're with my daddy or Carl. So, unless the walkers learn how to make keys they can't get to this part of the prison... it's hard not to be paranoid now.

I stripped my clothes off and looked down at my body, I had bruising all over my sides and stomach, I couldn't see my back but I'm guessing there is some there as well. I had a small mirror on my wall; the black eye, split lip and bruising around my cheeks doesn't make me pretty. Although there were no bruises or marks on my chest, I know what happened and it makes me feel sick! Some other man put his hands on me, without my permission, in front of Daryl.

How dare he do that to me?
Who does he think he is?
What made him think he could get away with it?
Does he think he's God?

Maybe that's why Daryl doesn't want to talk to me or see me right now. Maybe it's not me he sees but a victim or he just sees The Governor with his hands over me and it makes him feel sick as well, I don't know. All I know is that right now, Daryl is either sickened by me or he hates me.

I was right. I hate when I'm right. I managed to get a little sleep last night but when I woke up, my whole body was stiff and sore. It took me nearly fifteen minutes to get out of bed and then Maggie had to help me get dressed. She wants to take a proper look at me because she is worried about the kicks I took to my stomach but there wasn't much she could do to help. What little medication we have, I've already took and I made sure Maggie gave some to Daryl. The bruising was dark and horrible, my body ached like a bitch and on top of it all Daryl still won't talk to me.

I managed to make it down for breakfast, Daryl was already there and looked as if he didn't get any sleep at all last night, and I'm guessing he didn't. I bet he was up all night replaying everything in his head and coming up with ideas on things he could've done differently but the reality is that he couldn't do anything more. He did everything he could yesterday and I know he's going to blame himself for some of it but he can't, I've been trying to talk to him but he's ignoring me and it's just making me feel worse but I can't help but feel that maybe it's me that's done something to upset him.

Daryl didn't look that much better than me. He was also covered in bruises and he was limping, his hand was messed up but after breakfast he let Carol patch him up the best she could with what he had. His hand has been bandaged up and he took the painkillers I had Maggie pass on but apart from that, there isn't much we can do. Glenn has been talking about going out with Michonne and Maggie to find some medical supplies but Rick has put them on hold.

Rick is worried that The Governor is going to come back and he wants everyone here for that. Maggie, Glenn and Michonne are three of the strongest people we have and if we don't have them then we're screwed. My daddy can only do so much with one leg, Carl is still just a kid, Judith will need looking after, I'll probably be looking after Judith, Carol is not a great shot and so we would be left with just Rick and Daryl to take on an army. Rick has also been coming up with an exit strategy in case we need to get out quick, I know for the last hour Rick and Daryl have been in the library with Michonne trying to figure things out.

Michonne has really stepped up here; she really seems like she wants to help. I don't know what her story is, I haven't really had the chance to talk to her much but she seems to have some serious beef with The Governor. The enemy of my enemy is a friend... isn't that how the saying goes? Rick and Daryl seem to trust her and she seems to know the area pretty well. She's been here less than 24 hours and she's already a vital part of our group. I'm glad she found us and was able to help us; if she hadn't come to the prison then no one would have known where Daryl and I were and wouldn't have been able to come and get us... Daryl and I owe her a lot.

I'll have to make sure to tell Daryl how much we owe her... if he ever talks to me again. I've been a bit of a loser and I've been hiding in the hallway waiting for them to come out. I know that the only chance I'm going to get Daryl alone is by forcing him to talk to me, one on one; I will push him back into the library by force if I have to when they come out. We need to talk about everything that happened yesterday and I need to know what it is that has him avoiding me, I can't fix it until I know what the problem is.

I was about to give up waiting when the door opened, the three of them came out of the room. Daryl and I locked eyes and he instantly looked away again, like he did yesterday when we got back here. Michonne seemed to notice and gave me a small smile.

"Can we talk?" I asked Daryl.

"Later," He replied.

"No," I stated and Rick looked taken back by my tone "Now," I added.

"We'll catch up later." Rick jumped in and started walking down the hall with Michonne.

I stood in front of Daryl so he couldn't go anywhere and pointed inside the library. He sighed and went inside; I followed and closed the door behind us. We took a seat at a table I'm assuming they had just been sat at. Daryl sat on the other side of the table away from me. I sighed and reached out to grab his hand but he pulled it away.

"What have I done?" I asked.

"What?"

"What have I done for you to hate me? Are you disgusted with me after what you saw? Do you think of me as damaged goods? What did I do?" I questioned.

"I don't wanna talk 'bout this," He said.

"I don't care what you want right now!" I shouted "You need to talk to me. You can't carry on ignoring me. If you don't wanna be with me anymore then just tell me. I survived before you, I'll survive after you. Don't be afraid to tell me the truth," I told him.

"How can you still wanna be with me?" He asked.

"I'm confused," I replied.

"You coulda got raped yesterday... I couldn't do anythin'. I promised yer I would keep yer safe, yesterday proved I can't," He told me with anger and sadness mixed in his voice.

"You did everything you could," I argued "You were tied to a chair, you had guards, and you were injured. I don't blame you for anythin'," I added "When we got back last night, all I wanted was for you to wrap your arms around me, tell me that we'll be fine but you couldn't even look at me. I'm more pissed about that, I needed you and you wasn't there," I finished with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Nothin' is gonna be ok!" He shouted "He will come after us 'gain. I've known assholes like that my whole life! Next time he pro'ly will rape yer but everyone will be forced to watch, not just me... you gonna tell 'em that's ok like you did me yesterday?" He questioned.

"What?"

"Yesterday... when he was gonna rape yer. You told me it was ok! You were gonna let him do it." He stood from the chair and picked up a large book before throwing it across the room "It's not ok!" He screamed as loud as he could and kicked his chair over.

"You're right!" I shouted back "It wasn't ok what he wanted to do but I was protecting the group," I replied.

"Screw them!" He shouted back.

"Daryl they're our family, I'd do anything to protect them... I thought you would too," I argued.

"I wouldn't let you be raped! If yer think I could understand that, yer don't know me that well," He told me.

"I would rather that then him comin' for Asskicker," I said.

"You don't get it," He whispered.

"Then help me get it! Don't lock me out," I pleaded with him.

"Reverse the roles. He was gonna do it to me, you were tied to a chair and couldn't help. Wouldn't you be pissed?" He asked.

"Yes! I'd wanna kill everyone that hurt you but I would be there for you. I wouldn't ignore you; I wouldn't walk away from you! I would comfort you and try to help you," I argued.

"Maybe I'm just not that good of a person," He stated and fell into one of the chairs and put his head in his hands.

"You're a good person Daryl. Nothin' that happened yesterday was your fault. You did what you could; I know that and so does everyone else. I love you and I'm hoping you still love me." I told him.

Daryl didn't answer me; he just sat there with his head in hands not moving. You would have thought he was dead if it wasn't for his chest moving up and down.

"Just be truthful Daryl... I disgust you," I stated "You can't stand the thought of another man with his hands on me and every time you look at me, it's all you see. You can't get the image out of head. You're thinking about what would've happened if I didn't fight back... it disgusts you. You see me over that table with him against me... I make you feel sick." I explained and fresh tears fell down my face, stinging the cuts on my cheeks and lip.

Daryl turned away in anger and slammed his hand down on the table and I knew I was right. He can't get the image of The Governor and me out of his head and he didn't want to blame me. He was sickened by me and the thought of me.

"You said it was ok," He whispered with tears building up in his eyes.

"You needed to know that I would be ok... you needed to hear it at the time," I said.

"He was gonna rape you. Do you understand that?" He questioned.

"Yes!" I shouted "I get Daryl. I know what rape is and I understand what he wanted to do to me but I wasn't going to let him come here for my family! My sister, my daddy, Asskicker, Carl... I wasn't going to let that happen. I would've taken anything from him if it meant keeping them safe. It kept you safe, if you managed to get out without me, you could come back here and be safe. That's all I wanted," I explained.

"You think Maggie would've taken that for you?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation.

"Do you think Glenn would've let 'er?" He asked.

"No he would've of liked it, of course not. He would get it. He understands her and knows what she would do to keep her family safe," I answered.

"You're deluded," He scoffed.

"I watched this TV show once, something my brother used to watch, about a motorcycle gang. A woman related to the gang got gang raped. Her husband wouldn't sleep with her anymore; she said a line that has come back to me. men need to own their pussy. Is that what this is? Scared that it nearly wasn't just yours?" I questioned.

"Yer really don't get it." He sighed and stood up "I'm tired, I'm goin' for a sleep. I might see yer later." He finished.

I didn't get the chance to say anything else; he left the library and closed the door behind him. He's right. I don't understand him or what he's trying to say. I definitely think that what I said hit a nerve, men need to own their pussy, mine has always been his and it nearly wasn't that anymore.

Is that was this whole thing is about?
Possession?
Fear?

Maybe I'll get the chance to speak to him later when he's had a nap, something to eat and calmed down. We need to resolve this and figure out what is going on between us. If he can't be with me anymore then I will deal with it but he needs to tell me, he can't lead me on if he knows how he feels, just tell me. A lot of relationships can't survive this kind of thing and that's ok... it just means that it wasn't meant to be between us.

Well... that was a lot.

What do you guys think of what Daryl was trying to say?
Do you think he has the right to feel angry like he does?
Do you think Beth was right?
She needed to do what she could for her family?

I wanna know what you all think!

Did you enjoy the Sons of Anarchy reference?
I think it was fitting for this situation.

I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Please do follow, favourite and review.

Writer347
Xx