Part Twenty-Seven
Arya wasn't sure how much time she would have to herself before someone heard about the fight and confronted her about it. It was less time than she thought though as she was sitting in her room, hugging her knees to her chest, when the lock on her door turned and Sansa walked in without knocking even once.
"The door was locked for a reason," Arya said.
"I imagine that it was," Sansa replied as she sat down next to her on the bed. Arya didn't want to talk about this because it was no one's business but her own but it seemed that no one else was going to think of it that way. This is what she got for bringing him here; now her family liked him and it was was going to make it that much harder to get them to understand why she needed to do this. "So, are you going to tell me why the entire castle is gossiping about the massive fight that you and Gendry had out in the godswood?"
"It's no one's business but mine and his," Arya said.
"The problem is when you're a princess your business becomes everyone else's business whether you like it or not," Sansa replied. "So why are you fighting with him?"
"He means too much to me," Arya grumbled. "I realized that I'd become one of those swooning women that couldn't handle a week away from her husband. I swore to myself I'd never be that person. It makes me weak and I refuse to be weak." She looked at the ring around her finger and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I feel like it would hurt me more if I lost him than when I lost father or mother or Robb or Rickon and that feels wrong. I'm in the North and I have all of you back. I should be focused on my family and Winterfell and getting our revenge for the people who wronged us. Not some boy that I attached myself to because he showed me a little kindness. I don't need him."
"So let me make sure I understand what you're saying," Sansa said. "You missed him too much while he was gone and now you want him to leave because you feel like missing him too much is disrespecting the memory of our family that is no longer with us."
"He makes me weak, Sansa, and we can't afford to be weak. Not right now and not ever again. I let members of House Frey live because he's been slowly convincing me that my revenge isn't going to work," Arya explained. "I was losing myself to him and no man is worth losing myself to."
"So what do you want to do exactly?" Sansa asked.
"I'm not sure yet but I don't want him here anymore. If he's not here he can't make me weak anymore," Arya replied.
"So, by your logic, if he left tomorrow and in a week he was captured and executed by Cersei it wouldn't hurt you," Sansa said. Arya felt like someone just punched her in the chest at the mere idea of Cersei getting her hands on Gendry again. She thought Gendry rotting away in the Black Cells by himself or getting hanged in front of everyone or some other form of death. It hurt just to think about and the fact that just thinking about it made her hurt was all the proof she needed that this was the right decision to make. "Arya, you found one of the only good men in Westeros. He loves you and that is so rare."
"He doesn't love me," Arya spat out. "He's never had anyone care about him so he thinks he loves me because he needs someone to care about him to function."
"Arya Stark, that is a terrible thing to say," Sansa snapped and Arya couldn't remember the last time she heard her sister sound that angry. "You have no idea how lucky you are to have that man. I've been married twice and both times I would have given up an arm or a leg to have half of what you have. Not only did you get to marry for love but now you have him here, in your home, with a family that accepts him. Do you have any idea how easy it would have been for me or Jon or Bran to say that he wasn't worthy of you and send him away? It was so expected that we were supposed to hate him that the other Lords got angry when we didn't.
"Suppose you send him away and then what?" Sansa continued as she began to pace around the room. "He goes South and gets killed by the Lannister's. You know Cersei is going to want his blood for you both escaping. If he stays North, without your protection, the Northern Lords could decide that they didn't like what he did to their princess and he dies. Does he deserve that after all he's done?" Sansa turned and forced Arya to make eye contact with her. "If you force him to leave and he dies you're telling me that you're going to be okay with that."
"Of course I'm not!" Arya practically screamed and was on her feet. "But it's going to hurt more the longer he stays. I won't let him make me weak, I won't be weak ever again, and at the end of the day this my decision. He's my husband, not yours, and if I decide that I want him gone and I don't want to be with him then that is my choice. So stay out of it, Sansa." The two of them stared at each other for a long time before Sansa shook her head and walked out of the room without another word. Arya tried to ignore the fact that she was about to burst into tears but it was hard. She sat down on the bed and twisted her ring around her finger a few times. There was a gentle knock on her door and Arya looked up to see Jon walk in.
"Hey little sister," he said and he pulled her into a one-armed hug. "Are you going to tell me why Sansa came downstairs and told me that you needed me to take care of something like looking like she was about to have a fit?"
"You're the King so you can do pretty much anything, right?" Arya said without looking away from the ring on her finger.
"There are some limitations but what do you need?" Jon asked.
"I want you to end my marriage to Gendry," Arya replied and she felt her brother go tense next to her. Arya knew that Jon and Gendry were getting closer and she knew that this was going to be an issue. "I need you to be my big brother right now, not his friend, my brother."
"Did he do something to you?" Jon asked quietly and Arya shook her head.
"No, not in the way you're thinking," she said. "But I need it to end and I need you to be my brother and take my side in this."
"I'm always on your side but I do want to know why you're doing this," Jon said. "You told me on the ship how lucky you were to get to marry for love and how relieved you were that we accepted him. After all of that, you finally get home and now you want to end it with him? Please, help me understand this, Arya."
"It is disrespectful to our family," Arya said. "The fact that it would hurt me more to lose him than our parents is wrong and I hate myself for it. I hate how weak I felt every single second he was away from me last week. It was like losing a limb. And I know sending him away won't prevent that pain entirely but I will do anything to make it hurt a little less." Arya twisted the ring around her finger one more time and pulled it off. "I would do anything to keep from hurting just a little bit less."
"Arya-"
"Just be my brother," Arya interrupted. "I know you two are bonding over being bastards but I need you to be on my side, not his. I want to end it and it's my decision unless my King has decided that who I marry is suddenly his business."
"I just don't want you to do something you're going to regret," Jon said but Arya shook her head.
"No, the only thing I regret was letting myself get that weak. It won't happen again," she said.
"Do you want me to just throw him out of Winterfell? After everything, he's done to help us?" Jon asked and Arya twisted her hands together as the metal from her ring dug painfully into her palm. "We need all the fighters we can get and Meera told me Gendry has figured out how to work with dragonglass and we need that in the upcoming fight." She didn't know what to say to that because having Gendry hanging around after giving him this ring back was going to hurt but she couldn't argue with the logic that they needed people in this fight. "Look, little sister, it's just us left and I can't speak on behalf of father, Catelyn, or anyone else. What I do know is that family wants family to be happy and I know that Gendry makes you happy. You both have been through a lot in a very short amount of time and I know that you're afraid. You can't just push everyone away that might hurt you someday. Are you going to push me away because it's going to hurt if I leave or get hurt?"
"You're not going anywhere," Arya said definitively.
"I'm certainly going to try but we're at war and there aren't any promises in war," Jon replied. "I know you want to protect yourself, our family, and the North but you can do all of that while still caring about someone else. You have a big heart, Arya, you always have and there is plenty of room for lots of people in it."
"My big heart will beat longer if I keep my circle smaller," Arya said. "Jon, I'm a woman grown and this is my decision. I need to do this." There was a knock at the door and Meera slowly walked in. She took one look at Arya, Jon, and seemed to realize what they were talking about. Arya didn't want to talk about this anymore because she didn't want to think about it anymore. This was the only way to keep herself from collapsing inward when something happens to him or he leaves. If making him leave meant that she would survive the inevitable pain of losing him then she would take that opportunity. Arya knew she needed to survive above all else for the good of her family and of the North.
"I don't know what's happening but whatever it is he deserves a conversation at the very least," Meera declared. "I told him I'd give him two hours to calm down in the forge and that was nearly three hours ago. You should go talk to him."
"Fine but I don't have anything to say," Arya said as she removed herself from Jon's side. Meera and Jon didn't look like they entirely agreed with her but they didn't say anything as she pulled on her cloak and made her way outside. The courtyard was quiet and there didn't appear to be anyone walking around. Arya could see the two guards at the gates talking quietly to each other and a fresh layer of snow had just started to fall.
The forge was empty and cold by the time she got to it. Gendry's cloak was gone but his hammer and sword were leaned against the wall. There was a breastplate that looked like someone had just tried to smash it in instead of working on it and Arya did her best to ignore it. He was nowhere to be found though. She walked over to the two guards by the gate.
"Has anyone come in or out tonight?" she asked.
"No, your highness," one of the guards said. "We only looked away for a moment to help some people from Winter Town get settled in but there aren't any footprints of anyone coming in or out of Winterfell in the snow," Arya noted that there also weren't any footprints telling her where Gendry could have gone. He was stubborn though and hurting and she wasn't in the mood to cater to that. If he wanted to go find a dark corner of the castle to sulk in then she would let him. Maybe in the morning, he would understand why she needed to do this. Arya made her way upstairs and back to her room. She was relieved to find that Jon and Meera were both gone and she didn't run into either of them as she crawled into her bed for the night. She shivered even though the fire in the hearth burned brightly and there were plenty of furs to keep her warm.
Arya tossed and turned for most of the night as she woke up from strange dreams. She couldn't remember any of them but they all left her feeling unsettled. Every time she woke up she kept expecting to find Gendry sleeping on the floor near the fire or in the bed trying to keep his distance from her but he was nowhere to be found. Arya closed her eyes as the sun began to come up and tried to calm her breathing. He was sulking somewhere and she would confront him today. She needed to explain why it was better if they weren't together anymore.
A frantic knocking at her door made Arya jump as she scrambled out of bed and threw the door open. It was Meera and her brown hair was wild like she hadn't brushed it and she was still wearing sleep clothes.
"It's Bran. He woke up screaming and said he needed to talk to you," Meera said breathlessly. Arya didn't wait a moment as she raced through the castle to get to Bran's room. She tried to ignore the fact that Meera and Bran appeared to not only be sharing a room but a bed as well as Meera crawled across the bed and took Bran's hand in hers. "It's Arya, she's here, please try to calm down."
"I'm right here little brother," Arya said as she down on the edge of the bed next to Bran. His hair was matted and sweaty and he looked like he was having a hard time focusing.
"You couldn't find him," Bran said as he took large gulps of air. "Last night you tried to find him and you couldn't." Arya tensed as she glanced over at Meera who was frowning deeply. "You couldn't find him because he's not here."
"What do you mean he's not here?" Arya asked. "I thought he was moping somewhere but he couldn't have just left. All of his things are still here. Even if Gendry was mad he's not stupid; he wouldn't leave everything behind. You're wrong, Bran, he's here somewhere."
"She has him," Bran said and he turned to look directly at Arya. "The Red Woman has him and she's going to finish what you interrupted all of those years ago."
It took far too long for Gendry to force his eyes open and even then it felt like an impossible effort. He sucked a deep breath into his lungs and it felt like the first breath he'd taken in hours. He blinked and the world was slowly starting to come into focus. He was staring at a wooden roof and it looked like it was about to fall apart. There weren't any roofs like that in Winterfell so he wasn't in the castle anymore. He was lying on something hard but his body still felt like it was partially numb. He could wiggle his toes and fingers but not much else. His mouth was so dry that he swore he would have given up anything for a drink of water.
"Good morning little prince," a voice said and Gendry felt someone just dump a bucket of ice water on his head. He was barely able to turn his head and he could see Melisandre standing a few steps away. She was wearing a bright red dress with large sleeves and a plunging neckline and didn't seem bothered by the snow in this tiny hut at all.
"What did you do to me?" Gendry managed to ask but he barely recognized his own voice.
"I poisoned you but only a little. I needed a way to move you where you wouldn't resist," Melisandre said. "Don't worry; I only had to breathe for you a few times." Gendry didn't know what to do with that information and it seemed that Melisandre wasn't going to give him the opportunity to ask. She took a step forward and gently touched his cheek and his hair. "The blood of a king runs through your veins, a would-be prince in another life, you could be so powerful with someone like me by your side."
"I heard all about what happens to the people at your side from Ser Davos," Gendry said. "Keep away from me or-"
"Or what?" Melisandre interrupted and she looked amused. "Or House Stark is going to come to rescue one of their own? The last I heard was that little Arya has no use of you anymore so I highly doubt anyone is coming. After all, her family and friends are loyal to her and not to you. You might have shared a few drinks with the King but you're nothing compared to his little sister and that little sister doesn't want you anymore." Gendry desperately wanted to tell her that she was wrong but the words got caught in his throat. She was saying the truths that he didn't want to accept.
"They are good people," Gendry said and she laughed.
"I was a slave, dear boy, I know exactly how people like the Stark's treat people like us. We both know they don't care. Arya Stark used you for protection. No one could marry her off if she was already married even if she was married to a nobody," Melisandre said and it took all of Gendry's effort to shake his head. She knelt down next to him and move close so her lips were right next to his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to look at her. "They aren't coming because you mean nothing to them. You have no one left in the world. No one cares about you, Gendry Waters."
"You're going to kill me," Gendry whispered and he refused to look at her despite the fact that she was so close and so warm that she was practically burning his skin.
"I am going to kill you but it's for the greater good. You're going to make kings rise and fall, little princeling, and with your blood, we're going to save the world," Melisandre said and Gendry opened his eyes. They weren't alone anymore and he could see two of the Brotherhood members that had ridden north with them after the Freys. Two of them that even Thoros said were a little extreme in their belief of the Red God. That was who helped her take him from the castle. They were both armed and they were staring at Melisandre like they were hanging on every word she said. He couldn't move, he could barely talk, so he couldn't fight his way out of this. She was right that no one was going to come for him. Melisandre reached into her dress and pulled out a wicked-looking blade. "Shall we begin?"