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Disclaimer: So I still haven't been able to get my hands on The Walking Dead so it still does not belong to me... I'll keep trying!

Home Is With You: Chapter 12

Daryl
Me and Michonne got back from our hunting trip a couple hours ago and I can't get what she said out of my head since, I do respect Hershel and I know how much his girls mean to him and I know how much Beth hates lying to him about our relationship. I've been thinking back to the original decision to keep it quiet and it was for the main reason that I wasn't sure how long it was gonna last, I'm not good at relationships. Shit; I've never had a relationship last longer than a few weeks. I didn't want to have everyone know and have them all pissed at me when I screw it up... I thought she woulda dumped me by now. I'm glad she hasn't and I'm glad we're still together but now I need to think about coming clean to Hershel, I hate lying to the man as much as she does and I don't know how much longer I can keep the lie up for.

Beth was coming to see me tonight when I was on watch duty so I'm hoping to speak to her about it then, if she's up to it. I'm still really worried about her and everything that happened with The Governor, I know her better then she thinks I do and I know what horrible shit she went through, I know the things that happened to her play on the mind. It's not just the physical stuff she's got to heal from; it's the mental stuff too. I'm worried about where it's going to lead, we all know from Beth's past that she doesn't deal with trauma. Beth is a complicated woman with complicated thoughts... she might be putting on a brave face now but how long will that brave face last and when it does fall, what then?

I want to keep a close eye on Beth but I know how she gets when she feels like she's being watched; she gets antsy, irritable and protective. I know that Maggie has been keeping an eye on her but no one, apart from me and Beth, know what really went down at Woodbury. Yeah, she told everyone that he threatened to rape her but we didn't tell them that he stripped her half naked and bent her over a table. She obviously doesn't want people to know that and I'm not going to tell them if she doesn't want them to know, that's her story to tell.

When I see her tonight I want to try and talk to her, if she wants to talk about it then great bit if she doesn't, that is telling me she's pushing it away from her mind and eventually it will eat away at her and things will go wrong. I just want her to know that even though I haven't been the best to her this week, I love her and I am always here for her, no matter what. She can come to me and tell me what she's feeling and not feel embarrassed or ashamed. I want her to know I can just sit there and listen to her or I can go and kill someone for her, she is the most important thing in my life right now and I don't want to lose her.

Its times like this when I wish Hershel and Maggie knew about our relationship. I know they would be able to give me some advice on the best way to deal with this and the best way to approach her. I know I'm not the best communicator and I sometimes say the wrong thing or come across in the wrong way. I suck at this kind of thing and I need some help but I've got no one to ask because no one knows about us or what happened.

I know I said what happened is Beth's story to tell but Michonne knows The Governor better than the rest of us and I bet she won't be that surprised to know what he did. She knows about me and Beth so maybe she can give me some insight as to what to do or how to talk to Beth. Granted, she doesn't know Beth that well but they seem to get along ok and Beth is thankful to Michonne for finding the prison and bringing the help to save us. I feel like I can trust Michonne to keep this to herself, it might make her understand why I'm willing to go to any length to get this guy.

"Don't hurt yourself," Speak of the devil; Michonne came and sat down on the grass next to me "You look deep in thought. Everything ok?" She asked.

"It's not me I'm worried 'bout," I replied.

"I've noticed that Beth has been hiding away. Is she ok?" She questioned.

"I'm worried about her. See, she don't deal well with bad things... they eat her up an' destroy her," I said and Michonne looked intrigued "When we found Hershel, Maggie an' Beth; Hershel was under the impression that there would be a cure an' we jus' had t' wait it out. He had walkers... people... he knew, includin' Beth's mom... his wife... trapped in a barn, jus' waitin' for a cure. We tried t' tell him that there weren't no cure but he didn't believe us. We were lookin' for Carol's daughter, Sophia, she went missin' an' all the time, she was in the barn. We killed all the walkers in the barn. Beth ran t' her mom and hugged her, she grabbed Beth's hair and tried t' eat her so she was put down," I explained and Michonne looked horrified "Beth cut her wrists. I don't know if she really meant it or it was a cry f'r help. She regretted it right away, apologised and Maggie helped her but then she went into this state. I dunno what. She was awake but it's like she couldn't hear nothin' or move, like she was froze," I told her and looked down at the ground "There's more t' what happened at Woodbury," I finished.

"Like what?" She asked.

"He cut her shirt an' bra off her... bent her over a table, threatnin' to rape her if we didn't tell him 'bout the group and where they were. He put his hands on her, she tried fightin' back and he laid into her. I don't doubt that if she didn't fight back, he woulda done it," I told her "I was tied to this chair, had guards, beat the shit outta me... I couldn't do nothin' t' help her," I admitted and looked away to wipe a tear before she could see it.

"Maybe it's you who needs to deal with this more than her," Michonne argued "She might be locked away but she seems to be doing ok... Maggie sees her all the time; I know you've been to see her. Maybe you're struggling with this more then she is," She told me.

"I'll be good when we find him and kill him," I stated.

"What if you don't get that chance?"

"I will," I argued and stood up.

"Where you going?"

"T' get my shit. I start watch soon." I told her and walked back to the cell block.

Beth
There was a small knock from outside; I called out to whoever it was to come in. The door opened and I saw Michonne there, she came in and closed the door back over. I wasn't expecting to see her, I don't think I've spoken to her since we got back from that hellhole. She gave me a small smile and seemed nervous, which made me nervous.

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"I've just been speaking to Daryl, he seems worried about you. He said that some things happened at Woodbury and he's concerned. He didn't say what happened but it was enough for him to be out of sorts and worried," She explained.

"He doesn't need to be worried, I'm fine. Just a bit beat up," I told her.

"I know about you two... I guessed and he told me, you're good for each other. I understand that it's a secret and I'll keep your secret," She admitted and I looked at her in complete shock.

"He told you?" I questioned.

"I think he needed to vent," She replied.

"Is Daryl ok?"

"I don't know, what happened at Woodbury is clearly taking its toll on him and he's feeling guilty about something. Like I said, he didn't tell me anything really but I really think he needs someone to talk to. He said he was going on watch tonight, maybe talk to him tonight when it's just you two. Tell him that you're ok... if you are... tell him if you're not ok... but just be honest with him and get him to do the same," She explained.

"I'm sorry, I'm confused," I started "If Daryl didn't tell you anything then how do you he's feeling guilty about something?" I asked and spoke again before she had the chance to talk "Be honest with me, I won't be mad at him or you I just want to know... has he told you everything?" I asked her.

"Truthfully?" I nodded "Yeah, he told me everything," She said and I rolled my eyes "I think he needed someone to talk to and with your relationship being on the quiet... he didn't have many options," She told me "Sorry," She added.

"It's not your fault. It was all bound to come out sooner or later," I replied.

"I'm sorry about what The Governor did to you; it must have been horrible to go through. Daryl said he was there and I think he feels guilty about not being about to do anything," She said.

"I'll talk to him." I promised.

After I spoke with Michonne earlier, I couldn't help but feel extremely guilty! Daryl has always been the supporter, protector and the rock of the group. He is the strongest man I know and I guess I never thought of him as needing to talk things out... he's not much of a talker but I should have made the effort. I was waiting for him to apologise to me and I was thinking about what I needed from him but what about what he needed from me? I was so selfish I will apologise to him.

Michonne told me about his concerns and I understand how worried he is; I would be too. I need him to know that there is nothing for him to be worried about. I'm not going to slit my wrists again or do something drastic, I'm dealing with what The Governor to me and I think I'll be able to get over it, maybe I need to speak to Daryl about helping him get over it.

I went up the stairs to the cabin in the watch tower; Daryl opened the hatch door for me to come in and grabbed my hand to pull me up. He closed the hatch and rolled the blanket over the door so it covered the floor.

"Hi," I said softly and wrapped my arms around him.

"Hey," He said back and wrapped his arms around me.

"I think we need to talk," I told him and pulled away from the embrace. Daryl looked at me with confusion "I spoke to Michonne," I admitted and he looked down "I'm glad I spoke to her. Made me realise a few things; I was being selfish, I wasn't thinking about what you might need from me or how you were feeling. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to watch what was happening and feel powerless to help. I know I would feel bad and guilty but the truth is Daryl, you don't need to feel bad or guilty... I love you so much and I am sorry that I haven't been there for you like I should have," I explained to him.

"Nah Beth... my job is t' protect yer an' I failed," He told me.

"No!" I exclaimed "You have never failed me, I trust you with my life and I hope you trust me with yours," I said "What that animal did is for him to life with, not you or me... I have decided to not let him rule my life. I live in fear of a lot of things but I'm not going to let him be one of those things," I added.

"I will die f'r you, I will kill f'r you, I will do whatever yer need me t' do," He said.

"I know you will but you don't have to. We just need to be open with each other and there for each other, if we do that then everything will work out." I promised and kissed him.

Thank you for reading!

This was more of a filler chapter, the next few chapters get very interesting and we're going to see a few familiar faces! Relationships are going to be tested to the max and Daryl is going to have to make a tough choice, both of them have consequences.

I cannot wait for you to read the next chapter; I am very excited for it!

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