Part Twenty-Nine
Arya did her best to ignore the way Melisandre was watching her the entire way back to Winterfell. Gendry slept through the entire ride home and she worried. Melisandre confessed to draining a lot of his blood and poisoned him to make it so he couldn't escape or fight back. When they got back to the castle Arya insisted that he was put in her, their, room. It was warm, it was safer, and she knew that no area of the castle would be better guarded than the rooms near Sansa and Jon. Jon put his friend Sam to work right away to try and help Gendry but it was Sansa who sat down with a needle and thread.
There was something odd about watching Sansa frown deeply and bloody her hands as she sewed the deep wounds on Gendry's wrist back together. Sam and Maester Wolken kept insisting that they could take care of it but Sansa waved them off and said she could do it better. She insisted that she could make smaller stitches that wouldn't scar as badly once the wounds healed. Sam and Wolken excused themselves saying that the best thing for Gendry was to get some rest while Arya remained in the room with Sansa.
"There," Sansa said as she tied off the thread. Arya wordlessly handed Sansa a bandage and watched as her sister wrapped the cloth tightly around Gendry's arm. Arya wished he would wake up so they could talk but she also wanted him to heal as fast as possible.
"Thank you," Arya whispered. "You didn't even flinch when you took care of his wounds."
"Ramsay left scars on me, Arya, and I had to take care of some of them myself," Sansa replied as she touched her own arm. It got blood on her dress but Sansa didn't seem to care. "What will you do now?"
"I need to talk to him," Arya whispered. "But you were right. I couldn't stand the idea of him dying and after nearly losing him I'm not sure what to do. It hurts, Sansa, it hurts so much and I don't want it to hurt anymore. I just want the people I love safe."
"I want the same thing," Sansa replied as she took Arya's hands into her own. "I want all my family safe but I also want them happy. He makes you happy and after everything we have suffered I think we've earned that. But Arya, you aren't ever going to be happy if you keep pushing people away out of fear. Do you think the fear you're feeling is unique? I wanted to keep everyone far away too because Cersei drilled it into my head for years that the more people you love the weaker you are."
"Cersei told you that?" Arya said and she couldn't believe that she was acting in a way that Cersei Lannister would approve of. That pushing the people she loves away is exactly what Cersei would have done and would believe in.
"Yes," Sansa replied and she squeezed Arya's hand. "And forgive me for thinking that you are a far better person than Cersei Lannister."
"I'm so glad you have such high expectations of me," Arya replied with a dry laugh. Sansa smiled and kissed her forehead.
"I'll make sure some food is sent up. I'm assuming you'll be staying here until he wakes up." Sansa pulled Arya into a tight hug and left the room as she closed the door behind her. Arya pulled one of the chairs over to the side of the bed and sat down so she could watch Gendry breathe. She remembered waking up in Mina and Prycella's house after the bandit attack and how she panicked because she couldn't feel his heart beating. Ayra wanted to climb into bed and be with him so she knew that Gendry was alive but it felt wrong. The first thing she needed to do was talk to him and make sure that he was going to be okay. Her wedding band was still on the table and Arya wanted to put it on but something made her hesitate.
Gendry slept through the rest of the day and into the night. After dinner, there was a knock on the door and Jon walked in.
"Any change?" he asked and Arya shook her head. "Well, if he's not getting worse then we need to take that. I was going to go to the dungeons to speak to Melisandre and find out how she got into Winterfell. If you promise not to stick her with the pointy end you can come with me." Arya glanced at Gendry and didn't like the idea of him waking up alone but she also knew that she needed answers.
"All right let's go find out what this witch wants," Arya said. She squeezed one of Gendry's hands and quietly closed the door behind her. She walked with Jon to the dungeons where Bran and Sansa were waiting. It seemed that this was going to be a Stark family affair. Jon easily picked up Bran to carry him down the stairs as Sansa and Arya both moved his chair to the bottom. The dungeons were quiet and the only men standing guard were handpicked by Jon. They were also supposed to keep their distance so Melisandre couldn't whisper any lies into their ears.
"I was wondering when you would come," she said from her cell. It was cold enough that Arya could see her breath but Melisandre didn't seem bothered by the cold. She hadn't put on the cloak that was given to her nor did she pick up the few blankets on the ground. Instead, she was holding a singular candle and looking at the flame like it had all of the answers in the universe.
"We have some questions for you," Jon said and he sounded and looked so much like their father whenever he was acting like the king he was that Arya sometimes didn't know what to do with it. "The most important one is how you managed to get past our defenses."
"You let me in," Melisandre said with a shrug.
"We did not such thing," Sansa replied. Melisandre smiled as she set her candle down. She reached behind her neck and pulled off the necklace that she always wore. The ruby, which often looked like it was glowing, seemed to dull as she took off the necklace. Before their eyes, Melisandre began to change. Instead of the beautiful seductress, there was an old woman that looked like she would have a hard time walking on her own. Arya briefly remembered seeing this woman as she walked into the castle following her fight with Gendry. Melisandre put her necklace back on and the ruby flared back to life and the beautiful woman once again sat in front of them.
"As for how I got out it wasn't hard to lure the guards away for a moment with the two Brotherhood members who pledged themselves to me. They were also responsible for making sure that no one would see any footprints in the snow or the dirt," Melisandre said as she looked at Sansa and Bran. "Have you told them?"
"Told us what?" Sansa asked.
"That burning the Baratheon bastard will assure that the living wins the Long Night," Melisandre said. "If you allow me to sacrifice him to our Lord then He will make sure that Winterfell and all of us do not fall in the upcoming war."
"That is not a guarantee," Bran said and she looked at him. "You think you know what you saw in the flames but you were wrong before and you're wrong this time. We all have a part to play in this, including you, but burning my good brother is not it."
"Good brother?" Melisandre said as she looked at Arya. "You should learn to not make such hasty decisions, Lady Arya. I spent days here at Winterfell trying to figure out how to get my hands on that boy but he was never alone. At least not until you came back and broke his heart."
"Are you saying it was my fault that you were able to take him?" Arya snapped.
"Yes," Melisandre said and Arya jerked like someone just slapped her.
"You won't be touching anyone ever again," Jon said. "Ser Davos wants you dead for burning Shireen Baratheon and I'm considering letting him do the honors for his service to House Stark. Until then you will stay here with no visitors." Jon, Sansa, and Bran all turned to leave but Arya lingered for a moment.
"That's twice now I've stopped you from taking him," Arya said. "And I assure you, Lady Melisandre, there won't be a third attempt." She didn't wait to hear what Melisandre had to say to that. She turned and followed her siblings out of the dungeon. She took the stairs up to her room two at a time and was both relieved and upset to see that Gendry was still asleep. Arya settled down in the chair next to the bed and took Gendry's hand onto her own. She still wasn't sure what exactly she was going to tell him when he woke up but right now Arya needed to hear him breathe and feel his pulse beneath her fingers.
Arya didn't remember falling asleep but the next thing she remembered was the sun shining in her face and the sound of someone saying her name. She blinked and looked up to see Gendry staring at her like he didn't know what to do with her. It wasn't exactly the expression she was hoping to see on his face but Arya still breathed a sigh of relief that he was awake at all. He lost a lot of blood and Wolken and Sam both said there was a chance that he wouldn't wake up again.
"Thank the gods you're awake," Arya said as she squeezed his hand.
"Why are you here?" Gendry asked which was an odd question. Maybe he was a little confused so she decided to tell him what happened.
"Nymeria lead us to you. Melisandre is in the dungeons and won't be touching anyone. We got you back to Winterfell in time and Sansa even made sure the stitches on your wrist won't scar too bad," Arya said as she forced herself to smile. "You're going to be okay with a little rest."
"I figured all of that out by the fact that I woke up, Arya, I'm asking what you're doing here," Gendry said. "The last thing I remembered was Melisandre saying she was going to convince Jon to burn me. Since I'm still here and not presently on fire I can only assume he didn't go for it. That all makes sense. What I don't understand is what I'm doing in your room or why you're sitting here next to me. You told me you were leaving and I don't think common bastard blacksmiths get a place in the castle." Arya physically flinched at his words and slowly drew her hand back. Gendry looked down and seemed to zero in on the fact that she wasn't wearing her ring the same way everyone seemed to.
"I want you to be safe," Arya whispered.
"Yes, I appreciate the concern Lady Arya, and I'm sure the interest you take in the smallfolk is going to be a commendable quality as you rule the north. I'm still waiting for an answer as to why I'm here." There was something about Gendry's voice that just broke her heart. She knew that he never thought he was good enough for her and she knew that he always thought she would leave him. In a moment of panic, Arya knew she had proven him right and that it was going to take time to convince him that she was wrong. At least, she thought she was wrong. Arya still wasn't sure she was making the right choice.
"Gendry, I can't even begin to apologize enough for hurting you. That was never my intention," Arya began.
"And yet you did," Gendry replied without letting her finish. "Or do you need to be reminded that you were the one who pushed us to have a physical relationship when I thought it was a bad idea or that you were the one who proposed marriage to me. Yes, I agreed to both of those things so I just as responsible, but you are responsible for them too."
"I thought keeping you away would make it easier for when you inevitably leave. I've lost everyone I've ever cared about Gendry and losing my family nearly killed me. I don't know how I could survive that again and come out intact," Arya said and she could feel her eyes start to hurt. She refused to cry and tried to bury those feelings.
"So instead you assume I'm going to leave by leaving me first," Gendry said and he laughed so bitterly Arya had to bite her lip to keep from saying something stupid. "Well, m'lady, as much as I know you high borns just love to use us commoners as tools I'm not in the mood for it. I'm removing myself from all of this since that seems to be what you want." Before Arya could say anything else Gendry removed his own wedding ring and set it on the table next to hers. "I won't be the one to sit around and wait for you to figure out whether or not you want me with you. I thought we made that decision a long time ago but apparently not. So, I would appreciate if you could leave Lady Arya. I'll be sure to be out of your room and in the forge where I belong as soon as possible."
"Gendry-"
"Please, Arya, just leave," and he sounded like he was begging which did not sit well with her. Gendry didn't beg; he was the strongest person she knew and Arya hated herself for how weak she felt. She hated him a little for making her feel so weak. Arya pushed herself to her feet, nodded, and walked out of the room without a word. The door closing behind her felt so final and the tears she'd been fighting back for so long finally fell. She looked up and saw Sansa a few stairs above her.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" Arya managed to ask.
"Of course," Sansa said as she put her arms around Arya's shoulders and lead her up the stairs. They got to Sansa's room and she closed and locked the door behind them. "He's awake then?"
"He all but threw me out of my own room," Arya said as she sat down in one of the chairs by the fire. "Sansa, what have I done? I've made such a terrible mistake."
"You did but that doesn't change your actions. You need to give him time and wait for him to forgive you," Sansa replied. "He still loves you and you still love him. You both just picked at each other's wounds too hard."
"What if he doesn't forgive me?" Arya asked. "It's not like I deserve to be forgiven. You were right about all of it. You and Jon both were; I was just afraid."
"I think he'll see that eventually but right now he's too angry and too hurt to see that. We can only hope that he will someday." Sansa pulled Arya into a tight hug and held on. "Besides, all of those stories I've read about true love always have bumps in the road in them. This is yours." Arya wasn't sure if she believed Sansa about any of that but allowed herself to be held by her sister all the same. She'd give him all the space he needed if that was what it took.
Gendry was thankful when the door closed and he had some time to himself. Melisandre was right about one thing and that was that he did still love Arya and would do anything to keep her safe. Right now, however, he needed to protect himself. She hurt him in ways that Gendry couldn't even put into words right now and to even make eye contact with her felt like being stabbed all over again. He was hopeful to see her sleeping next to him when he woke up and holding his hands but as soon as he noticed that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring it was like getting gutted all over again.
Between the blood loss and the last of Melisandre's poison running through his system, Gendry knew he wouldn't be leaving this bed today but he did hope to be out of this room by tomorrow. This wasn't his room, not anymore, and he just hoped that Jon or Sansa would just let him move into the forge without making a big deal out of it. They were Arya's siblings and he just hoped they wouldn't make it too awkward. He went from having a family with Arya and her siblings to having no one in a matter of hours. Gendry was alone again for the first time since he met Arya and it was the worst feeling.
Someone knocked on the door and before he could tell them that he wasn't in the mood to see anyone Meera let herself in.
"I'm really not feeling up to visitors, Lady Meera," Gendry said as he forced himself to sit up in bed.
"Gendry, I'm here as a friend, so I would hope you'd call me by my name and not my title," Meera said as she sat down on the bed cross-legged. "I know why you're doing it and if you want to do it in public I understand but it's just the two of us right now."
"Fine, Meera, I'm not feeling up to visitors," Gendry relented but she shrugged and didn't move. "What do you want?"
"Just to see how you're doing. Why are you always getting hurt? You should stop doing that," she said and Gendry glared at her. Meera didn't even flinch. "Did you talk to Arya yet?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business," Gendry snapped.
"You're my friend," Meera repeated like that was enough of an answer.
"Yes, we talked, and I sent her away. I'll be leaving this room and moving into the forge as soon as possible," Gendry said and he closed his eyes. "She wanted me gone so I'm going. The only reason I'm not getting out of Winterfell tomorrow is because they need someone to make dragonglass weapons when Queen Daenerys gets here."
"Did I ever tell you what happened when Bran and I first got back to Winterfell?" Meera asked which was such a weird question that Gendry opened his eyes and stared at her. He shook his head and Meera began to pick at a loose thread on her pants. "I dragged Bran on a sled from beyond the wall back to Winterfell myself. By the time we got back here, we were half-starved and mostly dead. I slept for roughly a day and a half and then went to go find him. Bran was in his room, staring at a fire, and looking very lost in his own head. I told him I was going to write to my father and tell him to come to Winterfell to help. Then Bran turned and looked at me with that blank face he sometimes gets. He told me he didn't need me anymore and that I should leave. I couldn't believe it; after everything I did for him he was telling me to leave like I didn't mean anything to him."
"If he told you to leave then why are you still here?" Gendry asked slowly and Meera looked up at him and smirked.
"I told him "no". I told him he wasn't the Lord of Winterfell or the Lord of anything so he didn't get to tell me what to do. I told him two people, including my brother, and his wolf died to get him home and he was out of his damn mind if he thought I was walking away now," Meera explained and paused briefly. "Then I slapped him."
"I'm sorry, you slapped Bran Stark?" Gendry said because he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I sure did. Right across the face and damn near hard enough to leave a handprint on his cheek," Meera replied and she looked so proud of herself. "I walked away and left him alone for the rest of the day. The next morning I found him in the godswood. I sat down with my spear and began to sharpen it. I don't think we acknowledged each other for several hours until he reached forward and took my hand. He apologized for trying to get me to run away because he was afraid.
"You see," Meera continued. "Bran seemed to think I'd be safer if I wasn't in Winterfell for the Long Night and he was trying to protect me. He was afraid and thought pushing me away was the safest thing he could do for me. The thing is; Bran doesn't get to make that decision for me. I get to decide for myself whether or not I want to put myself in danger. The Stark's have lost a lot as you know and I think they are all terrified of losing more. Jon and Sansa might not ever admit it but they are keeping people a safe distance away too. I think Arya was trying to do the same thing. She was trying to protect you and herself because Bran tried to do the same thing to me." Gendry shook his head because while he knew what Meera was talking about and that she was probably right that didn't change anything.
"So I should just forgive her? I should sit back and wait for her to get scared and hurt me like this again? What if she tries to leave again?" he asked.
"You look her in the eye and you tell her "no". She might be a princess but she doesn't get to tell you what to do like that. She doesn't get to make your decisions for you. She probably will try to leave again and you have to be more stubborn than she is. You have to tell her you aren't going anywhere just because she tells you to," Meera said. "Maybe don't slap her though."
"She can tell me to leave because she's a princess," Gendry said as he shook his head. "You don't understand what it's like to be with someone who has such a higher standing in life than you. She could absolutely tell me to leave and I would have to." Meera reached over and took his hand but Gendry could barely feel it. "I don't expect you to understand because you can't. You're a Lady and you don't know what it's like. So while I would love to out stubborn Arya Stark I can't and I'm not sure I can forgive her either. I'm not even sure that I want to." Meera didn't say anything else which Gendry was thankful for. Instead, she moved across the bed and pulled him into a tight hug. Arya might have taken away his family but maybe he could hang onto a few friendships.
Arya was helping Sansa look over some papers a few hours later when Jon knocked on the door and walked inside.
"Ser Jorah received a raven from Queen Daenerys. She's sailing north as we speak and I'm going to meet her in White Harbor to escort her to Winterfell. She'll be here in a fortnight."