Sansa breathed a sigh of relief the moment the north elected to keep Jon as King. It seemed that Daenerys was also okay with the idea that the north remained an independent kingdom and for the first time in a long time she felt safe. Sansa knew that Cersei was down south and needed to be taken care of. She knew that pretty much her entire family was going to go down to try and take her off of the Iron Throne and they might not come back. At the same time, Sansa could see that Daenerys was trying and it felt like the world wasn't going to end around her all the time. Now that everyone knew it was time to start talking about what they would do in the south.
"King Jon has said that he will honor our alliance and we will make our way south in two moons time," Daenerys said. "That way the wounded should have enough time to heal."
"Do we have the numbers?" Lord Royce asked. The Knights of the Vale had stayed to fight for the living and between that and the Battle of the Bastards their numbers were severely diminished. They came because of her and Sansa wasn't sure she would ever be able to wash that blood from her hands. It was one thing to punish a man like Ramsay; it was another to send good men to their death in battle.
"I believe we can beat her using strategy above brute force," Jon said. "We have Ser Jaime and he has told us that the city is very close to rioting. Cersei's forces are split between maintaining order within the city and eventually fighting us. She can do one but not both. I believe we can use that to our advantage." While that might be true it didn't seem to put a lot of people at ease. Arya shifted in her chair and Sansa could tell that she wanted to leave.
"Excuse me Your Graves, my lords, and ladies," Sansa said. "I'm afraid I need my sister's help with something. I bid you all goodnight." Arya looked so relieved as the two of them walked out of the room and up the stairs toward their bedrooms.
"Thank you," Arya said softly. "It's becoming a bit too real that we're going south to take care of her. All I've thought about since the day she killed father was killing her. I used to say her name every night to help me fall asleep. Now it might be happening and I still want to be the one to do it. I can't let it go."
"I know," Sansa said. "I feel the same way but with the number of men that we have, it's going to be a dangerous fight. There isn't anything we can do about how she dies. We're just going to have to hope that she does die."
"Jon and Daenerys won't let her live and I don't see Tyrion or Jaime sparing their sister at this point," Arya replied as they got to her room. The door was open and they both looked in to see Wolken cleaning up and blood on Gendry's clothes.
"I worked hard on those stitches," Sansa said and he looked at least a little annoyed that he'd been caught.
"What happened?" Arya asked.
"I stood up too fast," Gendry replied and Sansa could see Arya's eyes narrowing. That wasn't strictly a lie but it wasn't entirely the truth either. Sansa decided it wasn't time to get involved with something like that and excused herself. When she got back to her room she was surprised to see that Theon was awake and he wasn't screaming. She ran over to his side and took one of his hands into her own. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his skin and he was still wincing like he was in considerable pain.
"Sansa, what happened?" he asked and not for the first time. She had explained that they won and who they had lost to Theon a few times but he was never lucid enough to understand the words that she was saying. This was the first time since the battle that his eyes were clear and she thought he might remember. So she told him everything that had happened up to this point. She told him about their losses and that the Night King was dead. She told him about Jon and that everything was going to be okay in the north even though that was new information. He nodded and settled back against the pillows. "My knee, how bad is it?"
"It's bad," Sansa said softly as she squeezed his hand. "The pain has been so bad this is the fifth time we've had this conversation because you couldn't remember what I was saying."
"It's not going to heal right, is it," Theon didn't make a question but a statement.
"No," Sansa said as she released a breath. This is the first time she's felt like she could have this conversation with him. "Wolken and Sam have both said that knees don't usually heal right after wounds like this. You won't be able to walk well with it and it's not likely that your pain is ever going to go away."
"Yara's going to be thrilled. A Greyjoy that won't be able to walk right on a ship," Theon said with a harsh laugh. Something inside of Sansa snapped as she thought about Theon leaving Winterfell and her again but she decided that now was not the time to have this conversation. She needed to tell him everything.
"Theon, there is another option," Sansa said. "They said if they remove your leg from the knee up you wouldn't have any pain. They think someone like Gendry could make you a leg that could use to walk on maybe even a little better than if you left your leg to heal." Theon didn't say anything and Sansa decided that she was just going to continue talking. "They wanted me to say it was okay when you first woke up screaming but I told them "no". I told them that Ramsay had taken enough of your body without your permission and I wouldn't do that to you. I told them you needed to make the decision-" Theon pulled her forward and into a soft kiss that Sansa melted into. She couldn't put into words how much she had missed him over the last few days.
"Thank you," Theon whispered against her lips. "And I've had enough pain in my life. If removing my leg saves me from some pain then I want it removed."
"If those are your wishes I will honor them," Sansa replied as she pressed her forehead to Theon's and so, so grateful that he was alive and he would be without pain once Sam and Wolken removed his leg. She was sure that Gendry could make Theon something amazing once his arm was fixed, something that would make his life easier, and until then Sansa didn't mind remaining at Theon's side for as long as he needed her.
Arya knew that the next couple of weeks were going to be tough on everyone. There were a lot of people that were hurt and no one liked being stuck in bed. She was still having a hard time moving around quickly and if she took too deep of a breath her side stung. The healing process also meant that people who were injured were going to get sick and a fever hit the castle three days after the funeral pyres were lit. Wolken and Sam spent the day running around trying to save people from the fever and from wounds that were starting to fester. Arya had hoped they were done losing people now that the battle was over but more people kept dying and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.
After he tore his stitches Gendry promised to be more careful when it came to his healing. Arya knew he had kept something from her but she didn't ask him about it and hoped that he would come to her eventually. The days turned into a week and he still didn't say anything. Jon and Daenerys spent hours going over strategy as they tried to come up with a way to take King's Landing with their limited numbers. Arya wished there was another way. She wished she had the skills to walk into the Red Keep and do it herself.
For the first time in a long time, she thought about Jaqen and his offer. She reached into her bag and found the coin that he gave her. He made her an offer to teach her to do what he did, to change faces, and that would be a skill that could get her into the Red Keep for revenge. Arya thought about what she could be if she'd gotten on that boat all of those years ago. She glanced at Gendry who was working with Sam and Wolken to try and get his arm better. It was healing but slowly and it was going to be weak for a long time.
Arya knew that if she had taken Jaqen up on his offer she probably wouldn't have Gendry in her life or at least no in the capacity that they were. The offer was made to her, not him, and she wasn't sure whether he would have followed her halfway across the world at that point in their relationship. Arya didn't know it at the time but she had chosen him over her revenge and that choice was just becoming apparent to her now. Cersei needed to die not just because of what she did to her family but for all of the people she killed and so Arya could keep her loved ones safe. Daenerys wasn't a threat and she didn't consider Gendry or her a threat either so if Daenerys was queen then maybe they could live safely.
"This is taking too long," Gendry mumbled as he looked at his arm. It was still a mess of a cast to keep the bones set so they could heal. He looked up at her and could see the coin in her hand. "Is that the coin that the guy who got us out of Harrenhal gave you?"
"Yeah," Arya replied as she walked across the room and settled down next to Gendry on the char. She wanted to sit in his lap but she was worried she would aggravate the wound on his leg again. "Just thinking about what my life would be like if I took him up on it. If I said those words and took a boat across the world and learned what he did." Gendry didn't say anything because he was probably thinking the same thing she was; that they wouldn't be together if she had. Instead, he carefully put his good arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. "I just want it to be over."
"It will be one way or another," Gendry replied. "Once everyone is healed enough we'll go deal with that crazy bitch and it'll be more or less over."
"I want to be the one who does it," Arya whispered. "I want to be the one that kills her. I still want that and I can't seem to let it go no matter what I do. There is always this nagging feeling in the back of my head that it should be me."
"It probably won't be and you need to start accepting that now or it's going to eat you up for the rest of your life," Gendry said as he kissed the top of her head. Arya didn't mention the fact that Gendry was clearly letting all of the death from the battle and the lies that Melisandre whispered in his ear eat him alive but it wasn't time. Arya cuddled in closer and let Gendry's heartbeat calm her frayed nerves as she held onto that coin tight enough that the metal dug into the skin of her hand.
The weeks went by and Arya watched everyone started to heal. The splint was removed from Gendry's arm and he was working on getting the strength back in it. The first thing he did was make a cane for Edmure and worked with Tyrion to make a new chair for Bran. Arya watched as more people began to get better but they still lost some more to sickness and infections. It hurt every single time she saw Wolken and Sam dealing with yet another body.
They had lost Grey Worm and with it the leader of the Unsullied. They were in a meeting when one of them stepped forward and declared that they would follow Missandei. The fact that Grey Worm loved and respected her was enough for the Unsullied to declare that they would follow her. Missandei tried to argue against it but they insisted and while she said she wouldn't be able to follow them to the front lines she would lead them to King's Landing in battle.
Theon had decided that the best way to deal with his knee injury was to remove his leg. It was a complicated amputation that was going to take time for Sam and Wolken to complete but Sansa insisted on staying close throughout the entire thing. Arya never thought she would see the day that her sister who once wouldn't touch dirt was now playing a nurse to two maesters to remove a limb and her hands didn't even shake. After it was done and Theon was still asleep Arya pulled Sansa aside.
"You are really good at this," she said.
"I want to help with things like this but singing and dancing won't get me anywhere," Sansa replied. "But my ability to sew is something that I can help with and if it means I need to get a little blood on my hands then I'll do it." Two days later Theon woke up and insisted that he could still feel his foot and that it was aching but Wolken told him that it was normal and the pain would pass. The pain in his foot was less than the pain that he was experiencing with his knee so Arya considered it to be a good thing. Theon composed a letter to Yara to tell her what had happened and said that he was expecting one back that wasn't going to be nice.
Arya couldn't imagine being mean to a brother like that but Yara and Theon had a very different relationship than she had with her brothers. The more time she spent at Winterfell the more their ghosts seemed to haunt her. There wasn't anywhere she could go that didn't remind her of them. All she could think about was her family and wondered what they would think.
She thought of her mother and what she would think of Arya running around with a blacksmith husband and a sword on her belt. What her mother would have to say about the bloodstains that Sansa had on her dresses as she went around to the wounded and helped as much as she could. What she would say about Bran and Meera's unconventional relationship. Arya really wondered what her mother would think of Jon now that the truth was out and he had the Stark name. It was late one night that Arya found Jon sitting in the Great Hall with a wineskin just staring at the flames.
"I think I resent them sometimes," Jon said as he passed the skin to Arya. "I know how much Ned meant to you and I know how much he meant to me but the fact that he let Catelyn treat me like that when it wasn't my fault just won't leave me alone."
"He should have told you," Arya said softly. "Sometimes, I think I've built him up in my head. I knew my father as my father and as a child. I didn't see any of his faults because I didn't want to. He died before I got to know him as more than just my father. Now I'm finding out how flawed he was, that he was a liar, that he wasn't as honorable as I thought, and it makes me feel strange. I can't reconcile the man I knew and the man I'm learning about as a woman grown." Jon reached over and took her hand and the two of them sat in silence for a long time. "No one deserves the Stark name more than you and I want you to know how proud I am to share it with you."
Arya stayed with Jon for a couple more hours. They finished the wineskin and then opened another and by the time they were going to bed they were stumbling. She knew that now wasn't the best time to get drunk but considering the events of the previous weeks she gave herself a pass. They were going to leave for the south in less than a fortnight and if she needed to drink to get through that then she would. Arya laughed as she stumbled into her room and she felt a little bad when Gendry shot up in bed in a panic.
"Sorry," she mumbled as she closed and locked their door.
"You've been drinking," Gendry said as he watched her carefully. Gendry didn't drink that much and seemed to avoid it even more once he found out who his father was. He didn't want anything to do with the man that birthed him and that meant avoiding all of the things that Robert liked. Arya didn't mind and when she decided to drink Gendry would be there to help her like right now.
"Jon and I were talking about my parents," Arya said as she crawled into the bed fully clothed. She dramatically threw her arms around her husband and held onto him. "I guess I'm having a hard time with the idea of them since we found out about Jon's real parents. My father lied to all of us for so many years and that doesn't seem like the person I knew."
"So Jon was drinking too. Maybe I should go wake up Sansa so she can go check on him," Gendry said as he wrapped his arms around her. Arya could hear him wince from pain but he was doing his best. He always did his best. "I can't give you any advice on this one, you know that. I don't even remember my mother's name let alone anything about her." Arya moved so she was leaning on her side and could look down at Gendry as he watched her. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was a little pale. She knew he was pushing himself in the forge to try and make weapons, repair armor, and make a new leg for Theon. What he needed was rest but she knew he wouldn't take it.
"I'm afraid of what will happen in the south," Arya said.
"I am too," Gendry replied as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I'm terrified that I'll have to stand there and watch you die and I won't be able to stop it. I'm afraid for you because I'm not sure what you're going to do when Cersei dies."
"I'm not either," she admitted. Arya knew that her entire life was defined by revenge and she wasn't sure what it would look like when that list she carried for her whole life was gone. What would happen when the person at the top of it was finally dead. Arya knew why Gendry was afraid because she was too; who was she without revenge. "But I want you there with me when I figure out what I want to do next. So you're not allowed to die in that shit hole of a city."
"Not allowed she says," Gendry said as he laughed softly and pulled her closer to him. "I wouldn't want to disappoint m'lady." Arya tried to hit him but Gendry easily overpowered her and pinned him to their bed. She decided that she would blame the wine for her slow reflexes and the fact that she always felt safe pinned beneath him. Gendry leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. They hadn't been together since before the battle and both of their bodies were still a little too weak for this to happen but that didn't mean Arya wasn't going to kiss her husband within an inch of his life. She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled Gendry close as he slipped his tongue into her mouth.
Arya also blamed the wine for the fact that she moaned when Gendry sucked a bruise into her neck that was going to be impossible to hide. He was marking her as his own and she liked that. It was something a wolf would do and Gendry was a Stark now. He was already dressed for bed but between the two of them, they managed to rid Arya of her clothes until she was down to just her small clothes. She wanted him at that moment, rather desperately, but she could also see how tired he was and the wine was catching up with her. She let Gendry pull her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her body with her back against his chest. He pressed several soft kisses along her shoulder and the back of her neck.
There was going to be a world after Cersei Lannister died and it was one Arya wanted to live in even if she wasn't sure what it was going to look like. She was going to fight to her last breath to make sure her family lived to see that new world even if that meant she wouldn't be the one to swing the sword.
Arya fell asleep to Gendry's comforting presence behind her and dreamed of a life free of revenge.