Disclaimer: The Peanuts characters belong to Charles Monroe Schulz, even in the wake of his passing.

Is He The Reason..?

"I guess it's going to sound like sour grapes, what I'm about to say to you."

Lucy was at Schroeder's house, resting as always on his kinderklavier while he was playing on it. Today was different, however. The moment was different, her mood was different: she was different. Her intentions were not to express any displays of affection – overt or furtive – but to provide an explanation.

"You may have noticed, that I've been spending more time with Charlie Brown over the past month," Lucy prefaced her statement. "And I'm afraid what you're seeing is what is really happening."

She paused there to let him compute what she had just told him. If he was computing anything, he gave no indication thereof: he continued playing undeterred. And to Lucy's surprise, his willful ignorance of her presence didn't anger her as much as it would have in earlier times. In fact, right at this moment, it didn't anger her at all; she even felt it would make saying her say that bit easier.

"Schroeder, I'm sorry. I'm still conflicted over this, but more and more I find myself drifting away from you and towards Charlie Brown." But Schroeder kept playing: to him, Mozart's Turkish March was of greater importance as he tickled away at the keys.

Lucy didn't mind, because his inert response meant at least he'd be hearing her out without any backtalk. "I've known Charlie Brown longer than I've known you. In fact, we used to be inseparable. We'd hang out, we'd play all day. Then Linus was born and as he grew up, he and Charlie Brown became friends and I was left behind."

As she spoke, she felt her vision becoming streaked and misty. Schroeder kept doing what he did best in her presence: playing and ignoring. She continued: "That's when you came in. I needed someone to show me the affection I used to get from Charlie Brown. I thought you were quite the catch and…" she stopped to stifle a sudden sobbing spell, "…well, you're smart, you're handsome, you're not afraid to speak what's on your mind."

Unfortunately, Schroeder had always been immune to even her most saccharine flattery over the years, a trait that was still on full display. Although…was he becoming agitated? His keystrokes seemed harder, less delicate, and the notes, that bit harsher. Was he listening despite appearances to the contrary?

"But I've come to realize that what I've felt wasn't true. You were a crutch, a substitute. And me being me, I thought I could get you to like me and somehow make us work. Whether or not you were interested."

Her sobbing had intensified somewhat, and she was struggling to hold back her tears.

"I guess, what I wanted to say was: I'm sorry! I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. I'm sorry for thinking I could change you into liking me."

His notes hardened even more, as did his expression. Still, he didn't stop playing. But it was clear to Lucy that he wasn't ignoring her: he was trying to ignore her.

"Dammit, Schroeder!" she spouted, her patience exhausted. "I know you've been hearing me. I was trying to be patient with your aloofness. Is it too much to ask for some acknowledgement, at the very least?"

At that outburst, he finally stopped playing and looked at her with neither anger, sadness nor happiness. In fact, his face conveyed no emotion at all.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" he asked. "What purpose is it serving? More importantly, whose benefit is it serving?"

And now it was Lucy's turn to be rendered momentarily silent. "Excuse me?" she squeaked.

"What am I supposed to do with what you've told me? Stop you from walking out? Declare that I've secretly always loved you and don't want to lose you?"

Lucy's expression went from defensive to angry. "Schroeder, you idiot!" she yelled. "I swear you're denser than Charlie Brown! Here I was pouring my heart out, being as honest and open with you as I've ever been! And what do you do? You don't even offer the courtesy of hearing me out fully!"

"Can you blame me?" Schroeder yelled back. "Over the years I've been doing my best to ignore you! I mean, take a look at yourself, for god's sake! You're inconsiderate! You're mean-spirited! And you won't take no for an answer from me! You're either willfully ignorant or just plain deluded! "

And Lucy went back to mute surprise. Over time, Schroeder had always tempered his putdowns with wit and humor, leading her to think he was insulting her in jest, comedically roasting her. Now however, he wasn't holding back, he wasn't tempering: tact was no longer in his bag of tricks. And he wasn't done yet.

"And I suppose you're not just using Charlie Brown, are you? You say you're growing closer to him, but is it because you have genuine feelings, or because you're trying to get back at me?"

At that, Lucy was insulted, and also a little confused.

Her anger: "I just told you that I've accepted the reality that you'll never be interested in me and decided to move on!" What surprised her was how she didn't at all become emotional while making that statement.

"So if you're moving on, does that mean that you really have feelings for Charlie Brown?" Schroeder followed up.

Her confusion: "I…I don't know. Maybe…I think…yes, maybe…"

Schroeder saw her uncertainty and immediately his expression changed. "You really like him, don't you?" he commented in sudden empathy. "You really like him, but you're struggling to come to terms with it!"

Her confusion became silent and changed to acknowledgement.

"So you came here, to me, to determine whether or not your feelings for him are genuine. Correct?"

Her silence remained.

"But you're talking to the wrong person, aren't you? He needs to hear what you've just told me."

Her expression gradually revealed a clarity, a sense of purpose that had eluded her since the day she first kissed Charlie Brown. "Schroeder, you're right! I am talking to the wrong person!"

She rose to her feet, but instead of leaving immediately, she lifted Schroeder to his feet by the hand. "Thank you, Schroeder," she said contritely. "For putting up with me for all this time. I hope you find the happiness you deserve with your music. Who knows, maybe you'll find that special someone who's meant for you."

She was tempted to kiss him on the cheek as a sign of gratitude, but she decided against it. So she simply let go and left without any fanfare. It was strange, how she began this visit dreading how she'd handle disclosing her thoughts to him. However, now she was looking back at how absolutely essential the meeting had been.

She owed it to Charlie Brown to make him aware of where he stood with her. And by god, she couldn't wait to tell him!

So that's another chapter done. Before I sign off, please allow me to convey my most heartfelt thanks to those who favorited and/or started following this tale after the previous chapter. Also to those who left their reviews, both kind and critical. I hope this chapter was no less enjoyable.

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