Yeah, this wasn't going to work.

Poe was just pissed. All the time. It wasn't at anything in particular, which he knew was a lie but whatever. He's not going to think about it. It's his specialty. Not thinking about it.

He's pissed at this stupid wrench, which slips and doesn't seem to ever fit whatever he's working on. He hates all this outdated equipment in this stupid base, which never has what he needs. It's got about 30 thousand obsolete parts to ships they don't have. It's got plenty of computers, all of which have viruses that the First Order can crack the second they connect off planet. They've got more than enough of these disgusting brown bars of whatever-this-shit-food-stuff-is.

And there's no fucking alcohol. Like, none. It's getting to be a problem for him.

"I need to get off planet," Poe said without even a hello. General Organa was quietly talking with Commander D'Acy as they looked over galactic maps, and she turned to him with her lips stuck out in that displeased expression she seemed to save just for Poe. He winced involuntarily, then stood taller and put his hands on his hips as if to emphasize that he meant it. As if that would work.

"Is that right," she said. She grabbed one of the maps and headed to a larger table. "And why is that?"

"We need parts. We need ships for those parts. We need pilots for those ships. And it might be nice to have some working computers and communications equipment so we're not completely blind. How long can you keep us grounded? We've made a dozen surveillance passes, and no one is looking for us here. It's time to get back into it. It's been almost two months."

"Humph," she said and turned to face him. Poe was not a huge man, but Leia Organa was tiny compared to him, or anyone else, really. And yet when she stood in front of him face-to-face, he always felt like a little kid. Impulsive, naughty, like he should be grounded, in more ways than one. He winced again and looked away.

That was a mistake. He hadn't noticed Finn and Rose in the corner of the command center, rewiring a communications relay for the Falcon. Rose laughed at something Finn said as she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling. Poe grit his teeth and looked back at Leia, who was now watching him appraisingly. She noticed too damn much, and he considered just turning and walking away.

He really needed to get off this fucking planet.

"Well, I figured you would be the first to volunteer to start making runs once we finished upgrading the Falcon," the general said with a wry look in her eyes. "But you and I are going to have some understandings first."

Poe nodded his head. "Whatever you want. I'll do it."

"Uh huh," she said, a dubious look on her face. "And what happens when I tell you that you have to be discreet? What happens when you disagree with my priorities? Are you going to run around half cocked and get yourself killed and our only good ship shot up?"

Poe took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. He knew he was going to have to prove himself again before she would trust him with any important missions. He dropped the impatience and sobered his face. This was more important than whatever tantrum he was having. "I'll follow through with the mission and I won't take any extra risks unless I absolutely have to. I'll get the Falcon back safe."

"Uh huh," she said again, but this time she seemed somewhat mollified but whatever she saw in his face. Or maybe she was reading his mind in her weirding way. He hated that he wasn't sure.

She cocked her head towards the map and pointed to a system not far from Ajan Kloss. "There's a small trading outpost in the Lissian System, and I need you to connect with an old friend. I have a package for you to deliver to her, and then you need to come straight back here with whatever she gives you."

"That's it? So this is a mail run?"

"A very important mail run, Commander Dameron. You need to fly in and out with as little notice as possible. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said and sighed. "When do you want me to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. And Poe? You're taking Finn, Rose and Chewbacca with you."

Poe fought every impulse to look to the corner of the room or show any emotion at all. Except maybe annoyance. Some things he just can't help.

"All I need is a co-pilot. There's no reason to risk anyone else -"

"Poe," General Organa warned with a sharp, challenging look. Poe sighed.

"Yes, ma'am."

Leia's face softened a little, and she reached out and grabbed his arm gently. "Figure it out. We're a team, and a small one at that. Whatever is going on, Poe, figure it out." She patted him on the arm and turned back to her map, dismissing him and any further objections he might make. Poe turned and walked to the corner where Finn and Rose were working. As he approached, Finn looked up and smiled. He was about to say something when Poe cut him off.

"You two are coming with me in the Falcon on a mail run tomorrow morning. I want us up by sunrise." Finn's face fell slightly at the abrupt tone, but Poe didn't care. He left the command center before either one of them could say anything.

Poe was in the cockpit checking all the systems long before dawn. He hadn't even tried to sleep that night. He just put on his flight suit, grabbed his pack, loaded up the smallish box that Leia had given him, and tried to get comfortable in the pilot's seat for a few hours. But now the sky was turning from black to a dull grey. He rubbed his eyes, grumbled, and hit the control panel above the co-pilot's seat. That red light was going to drive him nuts. He thought Rose had fixed that.

"I just fixed that, stop hitting it," Rose said as she walked in and took out her screwdriver. "You can't just bully this ship into working for you, Poe. She needs a gentle touch."

"Well if you'd fix it right the first time, I wouldn't have to teach it who's boss."

"What did you do?" Chewbacca growled as he ducked his head in. "Are you hurting my ship again?"

"Too many bosses in this kitchen," Poe grumbled and continued going through his check list. Rose had the panel off, the light fixed, and everything put back in place in about 30 seconds. She pointed the screwdriver at Poe. "I love you, you know I do, but if you don't stop throwing things around I'm gonna thrash you."

Poe rolled his eyes and glared at her, but she just kissed his cheek and slipped around Chewie as she left the cockpit. Chewbacca sat in his chair and began to go through all the same checks Poe just finished. Poe finally realized he needed to chill the fuck out when he started to get annoyed with Chewbacca. That never worked in his favor.

He flipped on the intercom. "Did Finn and BB-8 make it aboard?" He heard BB-8 beeping cheerfully behind him and he turned and smiled. "Hey, buddy." His smile faltered slightly when Finn peeked in behind the droid.

"Where have you been? Did you spend the night on the Falcon?" Finn's tone was sharp and his face annoyed and worried, which just pissed Poe off more.

"I couldn't sleep," Poe mumbled and busied himself with starting up the ship. He heard a heavy sigh behind him, but he ignored it. "Better get buckled up. We're heading out," he said into the ship's intercom, and he heard Finn take a seat behind him and BB-8 roll away towards his station. Poe fired up the ignition sequence and handed Chewbacca the Lissian System coordinates. Then they lifted off the ground and headed up just as the sun peeked golden over the horizon.

Poe Dameron loved flying the Millennium Falcon. It flew like no other ship in the galaxy, and he should know, he's flown hundreds of vessels. The Falcon had been so modified and tricked out that he was constantly learning its special tricks. Its hyperdrive was twice as fast as almost any other ship, and it could thrust with bursts of speed that never failed to take Poe's breath away. Its bulk was deceptively maneuverable. It had the toughest hull and strongest shields he's ever seen on a ship this size, and it slipped and busted its way through almost any obstacle while ships much smaller crashed and burned behind it. While X-wing fighters were all fighting power and maneuverability, the Falcon was a tank with a punch that couldn't be beat. Every time he flew the ship, even if it was for a short run, his heart beat faster and he landed feeling better than when he set out. It was almost as much of a feeling of love has he'd ever felt for anything.

Well. Almost.

They made it into orbit and punched into hyperdrive. The light outside the ship streamed into blue and white as it swirled around them.

"Want to play dejarik?" Chewbacca leaned over and grunted.

"I dunno, Chewie -" "Dude, you always win -" Poe and Finn said together and Poe shook his head.

"Maybe if we both play him together, we might beat him," Finn poked his head between them, his face turned close to Poe's. Gods, why was it so hard to say no to Finn?

"Fine," Poe said and tried to beat down the smile that was betraying his face.

They went to the middle of the ship and turned on the holochess board. Chewbacca sat on one side of the bench and Finn on the other. Poe positioned himself right in the middle. With plenty of space between them.

They started the game, and for the first several moves Finn and Poe easily agreed what to do. But then Chewie made a move that surprised them, and Poe rubbed his chin.

"Hey, do you think -?" Finn started and then looked at Chewbacca suspiciously. He reached over and tugged on Poe's flight suit. "Come over here," he stage whispered and tugged harder. Poe reluctantly slid over so they could put their heads together.

"Do you think he's trying the Gerglaa Maneuver?"

"The what?"

"You know, where he orbits the monnok over to the ghhhk and then attacks the ng'ok?"

Poe just shrugged, bewildered, and Finn moved the ng'ok. As they sat there waiting for Chewbacca to take his turn, Finn mumbled quietly, "I went looking for you last night."

Poe slid his eyes sideways briefly then back to the board. "Why?"

Finn shrugged. "You just seem … off. These past couple of days."

Poe glanced up at Chewbacca, who had his hand to his chin and appeared to be studiously considering the board. Poe knew better - that blue-eyed bastard had excellent hearing.

"Maybe we can talk about it later," Poe said quietly. Finn didn't respond for a moment, and then turned his face to Poe and looked at him with challenging eyes.

"Count on it," Finn said flatly.

Great. Now he was going to have to talk about it.

They finished the game soon thereafter - it turned out to be very short because Chewie was, in fact, using the Gerglaa Maneuver, but from the other side of the board, using the k'lor'lsug - and Finn stood up. "Can I talk with you, please?" he said to Poe and headed back to the crew quarters and galley. Poe sighed and stood to follow.

They passed Rose, who was working in the circuitry bay and looked up at them and smiled as they walked by. Poe just sighed again - this was becoming a habit - and continued to follow Finn's stiff shoulders through the passage to the back of the ship.

"So what's going on?" Finn leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms. "How come you've been so pissy these past few days? You're busting everyone's balls all the time and it's starting to get annoying."

Poe rubbed his face and felt the fatigue behind his eyes. He's so tired of being tired.

"I'm sorry, Finn, buddy, I know," he said, and he really was sorry. He knew he was acting like an asshole, but he couldn't help it. It was like there was a big gaping hole inside him and he kept falling into it. A big, rocky, sharp hole that filled with sand and drowned him.

Fuck, he can be a drama queen sometimes.

"I'm just really tired."

"I know," Finn said and moved over to him. "I told you you could come by any time, but that was a week ago. I kind of expected you to take me up on it."

"Look, I can't just come running to your room every time I get scared of the dark," Poe said with more venom than he meant. "It's not really a long-term solution, is it? I just need to get back into the fight and I'll be fine."

"Why not?" Finn said and Poe hesitated.

"Why not what?"

"Why can't you come over every time you can't sleep?"

Poe just looked at him like he was a lunatic. Maybe he was. "Finn, you've got better things to do than babysit me. This is just crazy."

"No, I don't."

This made Poe step back and look at Finn more carefully. Finn was leaning forward, his face earnest and open and he was looking at Poe with that stubborn, determined look that was Finn every time he was faced with a challenge. "I don't have anything better to do than to support my friends. In fact, that's all I've got, Poe. You and Rey and Rose and Chewie and Leia - it's you guys. If I can help you, and you need it, but you won't let me, then what are we doing here?"

Poe just took a deep breath as he put his head back, his hands in his hair. It was right there, in his throat, that question that he wanted to ask, but it was just a little too close to some kind of admission. It was right snuggled up against it in fact, and he didn't want to go there. Gods dammit.

"Don't you, you know," he started and then looked back at Finn again. "Don't you sometimes want ... other company?" He tipped his head towards the hall and raised his eyebrows.

Finn leaned back, his face open as if he suddenly realized what Poe was worried about. "Oh," he said and looked down the hall then back to Poe. "Oh," he said again, this time like he was figuring something out. "Uh, no. I don't have … um, any other company, no."

"Huh." This was not the answer Poe had expected. He had for-sure, absolutely thought that there was something going on with Finn and Rose. Or maybe with Finn and Rey. Or sometimes, he thought when it was very late at night, maybe with all three of them. But the look on Finn's face seemed to indicate that he was mistaken. "I, uh…." He sat down on one of the bunks. He suddenly felt very, very tired. Finn sat down on the bunk opposite and sighed.

"Listen, I meant it when I said you can come over anytime. When I went looking for you last night, I knocked on your door then walked all over the base then back and knocked again. I really just wanted you to know that you can come talk to me. Any time."

"Oh. Ok." Poe felt the artificial gravity and his lack of sleep finally get the better of him. It was like a spike in his gut had been removed and the relief made him realize how exhausted he was. He was such an idiot.

He laid back against the bunk and stared up at the top of the small cubby. Finn got up and grabbed one of the thin wool blankets and laid it over Poe. He squeezed Poe's arms gently and actually tucked in the corners, which made Poe grunt indignantly. Finn then turned down the yellow light and the bluish night light came on. He sat on the other bunk and turned on a reading lamp, then reached for one of the books on the shelf under the bunk. He opened it to the first page.

"You don't mind if I read for a bit, do you? Isn't it going to be a couple of hours before we get there?"

A lump formed in Poe's throat and he didn't trust himself to talk. He turned on his side and watched Finn get comfortable on the other bunk and then look at Poe expectantly. Finn's eyes were gentle and relaxed, but there was also something different in them, something Poe hadn't noticed before. Or maybe it hadn't been there before. It was both mesmerizing and terrifying. He nodded, and Finn went back to his book, a soft smile on his lips.

Poe fell asleep watching his best friend read some trashy novel that looked like it had traveled on this ship for the past 42 years. If a tear slipped out accidentally, Poe would never admit it.