Mysterion guided his neighbor to his own vicinity of the town. It was a little shameful, the type of housing a hero of his caliber had. Butthole's perpetual silence gave way to Mysterion's monologuing:
"What matters to me is the right thing. They want to point fingers at each other instead of addressing the real problem. There's real crime in this town, beyond our own feuds. We're going to find out who this guy is, and I'm going to take him down."
As much as he wanted to ditch just to spite the fatass, he felt loyal to his new faction. Suck it, Toolshed. "I'll lead the way until we get there. You're supposed to go alone, so I can't be seen during the meeting. But I'll be there." That and feeling protective over Butthole, who was almost cute. Kind of like a sister. Which was weird.
Before they reached the crossing to the poor side of town, they were approached by Raisins Girls, with their flashy tits of cloth. Kenny could have gagged. The Freedom Pals had been unsure how Coon & Friends got a few baristas on their bad side, but judging from their hungry looks over his shoulder, it was probably Butthole's fault.
"You've got a lot of trouble worked out for yourself, huh, New Kid?" Mysterion observed.
The leader turned to him. "Trouble? Oh, you're in no trouble, sweetie. Last I checked, you were with the Freedom Pals, and you're great tippers. It's only that your friend here has some debts to pay. Mmm, you're cute. If you don't mind ditching the Douche, we can give you 20% off on your next wings order.… " The blonde neared Kenny enough to recognize his facial features, or just to enter melee range. "Or a nice blow, right here and now."
"Sorry, you're not my type." He struck her down and watched her slide a couple squares away from him.
She screamed, "Agh! Bitch!" and the duo was swamped by feminine foes. Butthole, an elementalist, proceeded to set them on fire, and Mysterion survived the girls' brutality more or less. Still, the encounter aggravated him.
"Jesus fuck, they aren't usually on the residential end of town. Like I said, this is a lot of trouble you've got. I'll help you through it, but I'm so sick of these obstacles. I've got better things to do." He didn't think he was being too snarky, since Butthole was probably used to much cruder rants by a cruder mission leader. The tales of Nippopolis were tame compared to Eric Cartman's imagination.
"This here…" he said when they arrived at the shabby building in front of Steed. "is my house." The New Kid had best not say a word about how shitty it looked. Which is why it was great to have a mute around for once. "Go ahead, I'll cover you. Hopefully we can catch the real culprit without me stepping in."
But as circumstance dictates, Mysterion would have to intervene.
He was stationed at the bottom of the flight with his arms folded, while Butthole rendezvoused on the balcony. Unfortunately this was with the Italian capo-type fellow, who had already been identified as a subordinate of South Park's own villain. This meant no goodwill for the missions of the New Kid nor Mysterion. Just another obstacle, damn it. The asshole thought to rant derivatively before finally setting ninjas on the Butthole, making time for Mysterion to advance on Steed. Easy.
Charging forward from the shadows, he backed his friend with his fists against the would-be, wanna-be assassins. Unfriendly mobs had adjusted to the New Kid's unending supply of allies, as they seemed to expect Mysterion when he slipped into battle. Regardless, the foes were taken out without a hitch within minutes. The victory placated the raging New Kid, but a glimpse of evening dress and stereotypical Italian mustache seized Mysterion's attention. No crook escaped the netherborn through boarded walls, not even when he was aching for the Large Breasted Woman. He cut around the corner and barred the way. The target, the large capo, was intimidated despite Mysterion's size, and drew his gun.
"You might not be the real deal, but before you can leave you need to tell me one thing. Who is your leader?" The gun was already pointed at his forehead. Not an unfamiliar sight. "Where is he?"
"I already told your friend; he's not to be bothered now."
"Just a name. It's all we need." Mysterion gritted his teeth. "I know you wanna leave, I wanna leave, too."
Beyond his own impatience, the criminal wasn't eager to get child murder on his record, either. Since the little devil wouldn't budge, he agreed to resolve their stalemate: "I dunno. I'll ask the boss."
The gun still in one hand, the criminal dialed some number into his cell. Oh god, where was Butthole? This situation was laughable.
"Excuse me? Boss? … My liege?" He coughed nervously. That kingpin made guys crack like pussies, Mysterion thought. No way, no way in ever, was that Cartman. "There's this brat asking about you. Is it all right for me to kill him? He's…uh, he's got a cloak, a little terrifying — yeah, yeah, the 'cute' one." The man was disoriented, and Kenny impatiently snatched the device from sweating fingers.
"Who is this?" he growled into it. The barrel of the gun was shoved between his eyes in reflex. Mysterion pushed it out of his face and glared. "Yeah yeah, like I fucking care. Shoot me if you want."
Finally, the voice on the other end came in. "I won't shoot you, Kenny."
He fell agape. "Cartman?" No, Mitch Conner. That was Mitch Conner's voice coming through. He threw the phone onto the rooftop, ignoring the "hey!" from the mobster. The phone shattered. He still had Scrambles; he still had to get out of there. In a blind rush he abandoned Butthole and fled down the steps. Before he could make it back to his house where he clandestinely stored the cat, City Ninjas leapt from their hiding spots. Taken by surprise, Kenny was kidnapped by the kingpin's minions.
Not knowing any better, Butthole returned home to his dysfunctional family. The next morning no one would have time to make sure Mysterion was still participating in either Freedom Pals or Coon & Friends, especially with the new pressures they soon had to deal with.
At the break of dawn, Freedom Pals gathered nervously to hear Call Girl bring grim news of a kidnapping. Chris and Kelly, Buthole's parents, had disappeared from their home in the wake of scarlet trails and stains, and the Coon was the only one who could be responsible. The New Kid sat at their conference table, as well. A silent hatred hung from the Farting Vigilante like a noxious gas.
This was explained further by Wendy, revealing a chilling warning video from Mitch Conner. Their prior speculations were confirmed.
"Butthole came to me this morning," she said curtly. "I really don't think he'll be a member of Coon & Friends anymore."
Token noted grimly that that was obvious. He added, "Same as you, huh?"
"I may as well, at this point." Wendy nodded toward the assembly. "Coon & Friends is way too powerful and loyal to their oppressor."
"Y-yeah, what about Coon & Friends? Shouldn't we just get them to join us?"
"Not now Tweek." Everyone knew that Tweek and Craig were back together due to New Kid's meddling during one of yesterday's missions, but were too bitter for more truces after Mysterion's self-transfer.
Tweek persisted. "They should know by now the Coon's against them!"
"Well," said Stan importantly against the elementalist's cries. "They don't. It's too risky to do any more communication. Butthole's on our side, and until the rest make the effort to join us, it's us against them."
That's how it came to be. Mysterion's defection was an ill-remembered occasion. For most of Freedom Pals, anyway.
Outside of the Black Manor, Wonder Tweek snapped open his phone, his grievances not ended:
Tweek: CRAIG! I need to talk 2 you! Butthole's in trouble, and the Coon is actually the bad guy!
He waited in suspense, while on the other end of town Super Craig paused to look at his phone. Unlike his boyfriend's open discussion of his relationship with his allies, Craig refused to tell Coon & Friends he was back with Tweek. He had rather they keep their noses out of his business. He replied:
Craig: Mysterion already told us that you were saying that.
Craig :And also that it's not true.
Craig: We're going to Mephesto's lab to investigate a better lead.
Of course, thought Craig, another reason to be quiet was that his frankness toward Tweek would incriminate him for disloyalty to the franchise. …So what if it did? He kept texting:
Craig: So what's the matter with Butt? He hasn't shown up today.
Tweek: That's exactly the problem!1 His parents were kidnapped last night..
To Craig's horror, Tweek sent him a video of a ransom request from Mitch Conner.
"Oh, shit!" Craig breathed inside his own base, turning off his phone. He rose suddenly, soon to discover the Coon standing behind him.