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"Open the door, Freak!", Dudley ordered. His hands were balled to fists and ready to strike Harry down.
"…Dudley? What do you want?", Harry answered.
"I want to beat you up, I'm bored!"
Harry sighed, his plan would have to wait. "Why don't you go out and beat up a few grade schoolers? They are far less likely to hit back, you know", although Harry was certain that Dudley knew that.
Dudley considered the option and came to the conclusion that, since Harry was just a locked door away and without any escape route, todays beating would stay in the family.
"No, they can run away, you can't", Dudley answered with a malicious voice. "And you're a freak, you deserve it far more! So open the door right now!"
The Boy-Who-Lived would rather have died than to be faced with this daily torture. His permanent headache, when at Privet Drive, started to get worse and developed into something Harry called "Dudley serious".
"Dudley, I don't know if you can count that high, but exactly how often has it happened that you had too much pressure inside of you, which in turn lifted you off the shitter and into the ceiling?" Harry asked, expecting nothing more than a confused grunt as a reply.
He did receive the anticipated reply.
"Not to worry, you might still learn those numbers", Harry mumbled. "Why don't you do something with Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon? Where are they anyway? I haven't received more than two death threats today, they're slacking off." Harry said to a finger counting and immensely confused Dudley.
Vague memories of a conversation with a phone that knew his name and a skateboard he wanted came to Dudleys mind. Then he remembered an unfunny Garfield comic and something very white and wet all over his face. His mother's eyes subduing his laughter and his Dad on the floor drooling were the next thing to surface. A very small amount of muscles, he received from beating up Harry and other smaller children, was still aching from the hard work that was the mass exodus of Vernon to the car and his mommy's harsh words to not tell anyone about what had happened.
After about 2 minutes Dudley answered:" I can't tell you, Mom said I'm not allowed. Now shut up and get out here so I can beat you up!"
From this, Harry deduced that something very outrageous must have happened. Normally Dudley told him everything, he had no friends and nobody in the neighborhood believed him due to a very effective Gossip sprouting warlord and her partner in crime. But his "Dudley serious" condition was not very happy with being ignored and delivered a surprise attack rivaling a direct look from Voldemort.
"Okay, Dudley, I cannot open this door. I am locked inside of this room, do you understand that? I can't get out on my own, if you want to beat me up you have to get the key and open the door by yourself. Can you do that?" Harry replied, wanting to get rid of the pain and seeing this as the quickest way to success. Maybe he could get a few punches at him, or throw something. It would result in a crying Dudley who would tell a very irate Petunia and a raging Vernon an exaggerated version of what had happened, which in turn would bite, kick, slap and burn his own behind so the plan of first strike was abandoned. Mobility and stealth were considered next, something Dudley lacked for five people.
Dudley knew where the keys where, he saw his father put them in his bedside table a few times and used them himself. Not only to beat up Harry but also to throw at pets, key cars and as knuckledusters.
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"What do you mean HE WILL BE MENTALLY IMPAIRED?" a very roused Petunia Dursley screeched at the overworked Nurse who brought the news. Two hours of waiting in a slightly unsanitary waiting room, at least for Petunias standards, only to be informed of such news were simply too much for her already weak heart. Her legs didn't respond to the commands she gave them and she sacked back in her chair, the fainting following shortly.
"For Gods sake, not during my shift", the Nurse said with a slight twitching developing near her left eye.
After a few light shakes and cooling air, Petunia regained her consciousness.
"Wha… Vernon will be retar… Not a second one, please no no no…" she started to sob and cried, for there was no more she could take. The 2 years of frustration she had to suck up into herself. The last 2 years of not being able to let her nephew take the brunt of everything, her nephew who was gone. Off to the place she so wished to visit, ever since her sister got invited. Having 10 years of everything her child lacked to blame on someone else, who had a sickness she so hoped for having herself.
Her own son not being able to read until he was…, well, he still couldn't really read. An utterly untalented and disgusting child, who was nothing but a bully. Dudley should have gone to St. Brutus, not Smeltings, she only agreed so that Vernon would be happy. He was nothing but a fat, little meatball that was as bright as a blackout.
And now her husband was the same. The only person who was a ledge to hold on for her, this anchor of hope was gone. He was the same as the spawn. Brutal and a Bully he was before, but only half as stupid as the boy. It didn't matter as long as he saw everything the way she saw it. Life was work and family, the fruits of your labor were the things you bought and owned. There was no such utter nonsense as magic, and if there were only Freaks and Lunatics would be using it, even if it was completely useless.
The nurse now sat beside her, patting and comforting her, pleading and bargaining to end her breakdown. The last thing she needed was to go home with such a disappointing end to her shift, it would make even a 15-year long veteran's day miserable.
"Now, now… it isn't so bad, he will still be able to eat on his own…"
"…Waaaaaa why meeeee…"
" …and even work should be possible…"
"…WHYYYYY MEEEEEeeee…"
"at least for a few hours per day. There is even therapy and it's not the end of the world, the Doctor will tell you more later", the nurse was trying to tell her in a comforting way, or at least as best as she could, the wailing already gave her Tinnitus on the left ear.
After ten minutes, Petunia had stopped crying and was staring at the floor. Her eyes were empty and unfocused. Her thoughts drifting from her husband to her child to her nephew and back to her. Life was unfair, so very unfair.
'Why me? Why? Why!' her thoughts entered a Maelstrom of self-pity and hatred of magic, how her sister and nephew were at fault for all the problems and everything that was not to her liking.
'What now? What do I tell Dudley? Maybe the Freak and his magic can fix Vernon, yes they probably can… they can' and an image of Harry and his cursed scar fixated in her mind. 'He will pay. He will pay for everything. Yes, all is his fault, his and the fault of my so very, always perfect sister and her good for absolutely nothing, filthy Husband and their dirty, disgusting magic.' Towers of black storm clouds were seen all over Britain the following hour.
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"Alright Dudley, you have me now. Or should I call you Big D? Double D? Lord Duddlemort?" Harry asked. Dudley was standing in the door, his baseball bat held in one hand and his spiked whip in the other.
"I am warning you Dudley, you don't want to do this! There will be consequences Mommy and Daddy won't be able to stop!" Harry told him with a slight panic in his voice. He had to improvise.
"What are consequences and why can Mom and Dad not stop them?" Dudley asked as he stepped into the room, still intent on playing one of the guards his Granddad Heinrich Dursley was during some War he told him about.
"Consequences means that things will happen to you, that not even Mom or Dad can stop! Do you remember 2 years ago, when that giant man gave you a pigtail? Much worse than that!" Harry screamed in terror as he dodged Dudleys bat.
Dudley stopped at that. "What? How much worse? What will you do?" he asked. Hagrid and his "prank" were still present in Dudleys mind, one of the few things that were burned in for eternity. "Tell me! What's going to happen? Tell me or I'll beat you up!"
'Merlin's merry Arse, how is this possible?' Harry thought as he marveled at Dudleys logic.
"Okay. OKAY! I'll tell you, just please don't beat me up!" Harry managed to negotiate with Dudley.
Dudley was ready to strike, but managed to wait for Harry to finish talking.
"If you beat me up now…, I will make everything you eat until you die taste like vegetables! You know zucchini, the thing you took a bite of and were sick for three days afterwards!" Harry managed to improvise.
Dudley dropped his instruments of pain and had a Flashback.
1987, Dudleys Age:7
Little Dudley was sitting at the Lunch table, trying to devour 19 Chicken Nuggets at once. Vernon was reading the sports section of the newspaper and said a few bad and naughty words about a football team. His mother was on his right and watched him with a concerned expression, while eating one of her 3 thin slices of zucchini. Harry was in the closet for 2 days already, because he broke Dudleys bike. In reality it was Dudley himself who broke it, but Harry got blamed for it anyway.
"Mom, I want to eat what you're eating!" Dudley demanded.
"Sweetie, I don't think that's such a good idea, you should eat your meal first", Petunia suggested, deep inside knowing that it would be in vain.
Dudley, not caring for his Moms words, grabbed a slice and bit down. He paused for a second. Then he vomited, straight into her face. Vernon looked up from the paper, glanced at Dudley only to see a stream of putrid vomit coming straight at him. Dudley vomited so hard that he was lifted of the chair and into the wall behind. After 3 minutes it ended and the Dursley living room would become known as the British Chernobyl.
Dudley was back in present times.
"You… you can do that?" Dudley asked, his voice no louder than a whisper.
'No, but you don't know that. Thank all the gods that exist and don't exist for the turd inside your skull', Harry nodded.
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Petunia Dursley paced up and down in front of the Hospital, a lit and half smoked cigarette in her hand. She had not smoked in 20 years, not even once, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
'Dudley, Dudley, Dudley… I even hate his name', she thought 'How did Vernon convince me to name him like that. Did he drug me? When did we choose this name, the boy was born at this hospital… Maybe there was a mix-up at birth and he is a totally unrelated child! I have to check this'.
After 20 minutes of terrorizing Nurses and Doctors she got her answer and was devastated. He was her child, no doubt about it.
'I can't do this, one person to care for all year long is enough, I am not going to do this.', was her conclusion and she started to head towards the car.
'Where to now?' raced around her mind as she started the car. 'Maybe I can go to the police and have both of them arrested, conspiracy against the state or something like that, yes that's good, very good.'
'NO! What is wrong with me?! I can't, I love them, they are my family. This is the freaks fault, he has magic, he can fix them up in no time at all, what am I doing?', were the thoughts invading her mind as she slammed on the breaks, causing an Ambulance to drift into the nearest river.
'But why would he do that, he hates us nearly as much as we hate him, he would laugh and take 2 weeks without food over fixing Vernon. There must be another way…' she thought, while the slowly decreasing volume of a drowning siren was heard in the background.
'I need to calm down and think logically, just less energy…hm, energy… that's it! With a strong enough taser I can fix Vernon easily, they use defibrillators to bring back the dead, so a taser must bring back the braindead.', she was astounded by her own brilliance.
Luckily, a very unlucky policeman saw the ambulance as it took off into the river and was now running towards it. When it came to Vernon's wellbeing, Petunia knew no boundaries, not even murder. She threw her entire weight into the gas pedal and sped off. The last thing this policeman (and also father of 3, largest donator and lifeline of a kitten and puppy shelter as well as a volunteer builder of housing for the homeless) saw, was the manic gleam inside the eyes of a desperate, some would call it insane, woman.
15 minutes later, having the body dumped alongside the wet grave of the ambulance, Petunia was standing next to her husband's bed. Taser locked and loaded, she aimed directly at the head of her drooling and utterly unresponsive husband.
"I am really sorry Darling, but there is no other way. It has to be done, I only want to help you! Please forgive me, I'm so very sorry!" Petunia spoke with a voice of absolution and total conviction of her cause. "I'm going to pull the trigger now, it won't hurt you." She pulled the trigger and the taser impacted with Vernon's forehead.
Vernon didn't breakdance, he danced to break. Every single muscle in his body did the dinosaur. The bed moonwalked. And Petunia gazed into the abyss that was Vernon's eyes. And the abyss gazed back at her. The clouds all above Britain started to rumble with the mightiest thunder to ever exist, even Thor did not dare to interfere.
The Taser stopped and so did Time.
"Vernon? Can you hear me? Please tell me that you can hear me! I love you so so much!"
"Yes Petunia, my Love, I can hear you. I can hear you."